They have to go .... :-(

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Dukes Point

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Last night my husband told me that as I am now pregnant again I will have to sell my horses due to the fact I won't be able to ride for at least a year (history of miscarriages and then will be breastfeeding). I understand his point, money isn't great at the moment and they are on part livery. I feel very sad about it but I do understand where he's coming from. I don't have time to downgrade to DIY livery so I am guessing the only two options are to sell outright or to loan for a couple of years but that terrifies me as you hear so many awful stories about horses on loan going missing, plus I couldn't take them back if the loans don't work out .... can anyone offer some advice as to what I could do please?
 
How many horses have you got? Could you not keep just one of them and put it on grass livery. I can understand you not wanting to ride whilst pregnant, but not sure why breastfeeding would stop you riding.:confused:
 
Dukes Point said:
Last night my husband told me that as I am now pregnant again I will have to sell my horses due to the fact I won't be able to ride for at least a year (history of miscarriages and then will be breastfeeding). I understand his point, money isn't great at the moment and they are on part livery. I feel very sad about it but I do understand where he's coming from. I don't have time to downgrade to DIY livery so I am guessing the only two options are to sell outright or to loan for a couple of years but that terrifies me as you hear so many awful stories about horses on loan going missing, plus I couldn't take them back if the loans don't work out .... can anyone offer some advice as to what I could do please?
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plenty of people have horses and kids maybe you could downsize, grass livery, share arangement , And I hope your hubby is ready to give up his hobbys/ lifestyle to pay to look after his kids too?
 
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.... or 'share' the horse, although that may not help financially, someone would be riding/helping muck out/feed and the horse could stay at the current yard?

My friend is b-feeding a 7 wk old and she goes riding :)
 
Thanks guys, as for the breastfeeding bit I found that as I don't express milk I only feed form the breast that I am called upon every hour or two and it's finding a big enough window to actually ride.

I have 2 horses and I have thought of loaning them to local people so I can still see them ......
 
I have to say that I sold my horse when I got pregnant with my son - took a 10 year break until last year when my kids were old enough to go to school and I had a good enough job to support the animals again.

Enjoy the break!
 
if you really don't want to sell, there are plenty of things you can do. turn them away on grass livery, get a sharer, put them out to loan on a local yard.

my raff has gone on loan for a year, and i'm more than happy with where he is, not all loans turn bad. the girl that has raff had previously loaned from some HHOers so i got references etc.

however, if you do end up having to sell... like mcnaughty says, make the most of it, enjoy the break. xxx
 
Dukes Point said:
Thanks guys, as for the breastfeeding bit I found that as I don't express milk I only feed form the breast that I am called upon every hour or two and it's finding a big enough window to actually ride.
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I breastfed and never expressed milk either, but still managed to ride (started again 2 weeks after baby was born). Whilst a very young baby might feed need feeding two hourly to start, they soon go longer between feeds, and are often happier to go longer between feeds when left with someone else as they can't smell your milk! If you want to continue riding then don't let the fact that you are breastfeeding put you off - however, if there are other reasons why you don't want to ride then fair enough!
 
Breastfeeding didn't stop me riding either, or doing anything else for that matter! :) Young babies are a huge (but wonderful!) tie and very demanding of time regardless of how you feed them I think :D

Hope you manage to sort something out, all the best with the pregnancy!
 
TGM said:
I breastfed and never expressed milk either, but still managed to ride (started again 2 weeks after baby was born). Whilst a very young baby might feed need feeding two hourly to start, they soon go longer between feeds, and are often happier to go longer between feeds when left with someone else as they can't smell your milk! If you want to continue riding then don't let the fact that you are breastfeeding put you off - however, if there are other reasons why you don't want to ride then fair enough!
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Exactly. I breastfed all 3 of mine and it never stopped me doing things I liked. Put them out on loan with a local person or say horse "MUST STAY" at current yard,that way you can still keep an eye on them..
 
Having had 3 children (albeit the youngest is now 11) I kept 1 horse during the first pregnancy and had 3 by the third.
Where theres a will there's a way. This doesn't mean you should keep or get rid of yours - I think you need to consider all of your options carefully and then make your choices. You have already had some good ideas.

FWIW I was lunging one of mine the day my daughter was born. Keeping fit before and after helped me keep healthy and return back to shape quicker than my friends who'd sat down for 9 months.

I do have to agree with previous poster - what is your OH giving up?
 
I gave up horses to raise a family after being told to by OH. I became a foul person, deeply depressed and unhappy, and did my kids no favours at all.

If horses are important to you then try to keep one of them.. maybe, possibly even your OH could actually help you with one nrather than demanding you give up altogether!
 
toffeesmarty said:
FWIW I was lunging one of mine the day my daughter was born. Keeping fit before and after helped me keep healthy and return back to shape quicker than my friends who'd sat down for 9 months.
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:D:D I knew a woman that went out for a two hour hack in the morning and had a baby early evening!! The best of it is that she didn't even know she was pregnant!!!
 
If you want to sell the horses - then fine.

But plenty of women have babies and manage just fine. A good friend of mine has two kids, and three horses - all on DIY (mind you she is super woman).

However, if you are only doing it because of pressure from elsewhere - think again.
 
Well I guess only you know how much time you'll have and how you'll be able to balance the two and manage all the other day to day things in life, I can imagine how hard it would be having one horse let alone two as well as new born baby, why not meet yourself and your hubby half way and consider selling just one and keeping one of your horses, if you find you have time then then, if not you could share or put the horse on loan, at least that way you'll still be cutting costs, you not giving up but you can ensure your horse is kept in work (if you wish) and you can be more flexible depending on what you feel like at the time as your baby gets older?
 
What are your horses like? Are they easy to sell or loan?

You might be able to find a nice pony club home with an older teenager who will be going off to uni in a few years and who doesn't want to buy one (or whose parents don't). It is hard to insist someone keeps them at the same yard though as that really narrows down the amount of people who will want to loan/share.

I found it very hard with a baby and breastfeeding, and didn't ride at all for the first year as I didn't have any family near me and OH was out working hard. But a friend of mine would time the baby's sleep with riding, and would drive to the yard, park the car next to the school, tack up in five minutes and ride until the baby woke!

As various people have said, if you really don't want to sell, then try to find a way of keeping one. Most OH's would think two horses a bit much, but might settle for one!
 
i have 3 kids and 3 horses, ok my kids are between 4yrs and 12yrs now but although it's hard work i'd have been lost without my horses.
as someone said above i got very grumpy without a horse (tried it for nearly a year) but in the end my husband bought me a horse whilst i was pregnant with the youngest so i had to 'bond' with the horse as well as cope with pregnancy.

i suppose i was lucky in the sense that my husband does enjoy helping out with the horses and he doesn't mind looking after the kids while i go and do the horses. i also make it clear to my kids that when i'm with the horses it is about me and the horses, not them, they get plenty of time and do lots of things that are for them so that's my time.
breast feeding will make it a little trickier to ride but not impossible, it's just about timing, maybe tack up then give a feed and then have a ride!

if your husband is telling you to give the horses up then you will/may end up resenting him for it, especially when you won't have any time for yourself, what's he giving up???

definately try and take a sharer on for a few days a week and maybe move to DIY, how many horses have you got? could you keep one of them?
 
OP what do you want to do?

I should hope your husband is not trying to put his foot down, i see this a lot, ohh baby means no horses like they are a childish hobby, my husband tried it once he got the what for and is now becoming horsey himself LOL

It wont hurt your horses to go on grass livery and have time off, or if you think youd just like to keep one, as said maybe loan to stay on your current yard ?

Think about what you both want but dont you do all the compromising!
 
Dukes Point said:
Last night my husband told me that as I am now pregnant again I will have to sell my horses due to the fact I won't be able to ride for at least a year (history of miscarriages and then will be breastfeeding). I understand his point, money isn't great at the moment and they are on part livery. I feel very sad about it but I do understand where he's coming from. I don't have time to downgrade to DIY livery so I am guessing the only two options are to sell outright or to loan for a couple of years but that terrifies me as you hear so many awful stories about horses on loan going missing, plus I couldn't take them back if the loans don't work out .... can anyone offer some advice as to what I could do please?
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Loans can work, go to our website for advice http://missinghorsesonloan.webs.com/loanadvice.htm the common factor in horses going missing is the owner hasn't kept in touch, sometimes the loaner has fobbed them off and they seem very genuine, they send photos and tell you how happy they are, they have brought a new rug etc., then a tragedy happens, they lost a baby, became bankrupt, their husband/wife died, how can you possibly bother them at a time of crisis, then low and behold when you finally get to see the horse it died!!! But there is no proof.

Make sure you sign the back of the passport saying the horse is not to be put into the human food chain, associate yourself on NED Online with the passport and there is a section to say the horse is on loan and must be not be sold.

Take photos of the person who has your horse and have up to date photos of your horse from all sides.

See if someone can loan at your stables, with the credit crunch so many people can't afford a horse but would love to ride and care for one. I did it when i had my children, i had a sharer, good luck and congratulations on the baby. ;-)
 
The bit that I don't like is "my husband told me.." Eh, are we back in the victorian era suddenly? :eek: If you'd said "we talked about it and we decided..." it would have sat much better with me!

At the end of the day what do you want to do?

If you genuinely think its a good idea to take a break from horses then there is nothing wrong with that at all. Or if you want to sell one and keep the other, again make it your decision.

If you decide to have a break then your choices really are loan/sell/grass livery and that decision depends on whether you want them back. Loans can work well, don't forget you only tend to hear about the ones that go wrong! Both mine came on loan originally - I still loan Barney as a companion and the ex-owner of my mare sold her to me a couple of years after I started loaning her as she could see we had bonded so well.

Anyway I hope you make the decision thats right for you, your baby and right for your circumstances... and not because it suits your husband to have an excuse to get rid of the expensive time consuming horses :) . Good luck whatever you decide
 
There are lots of options all previously mentioned, but at the end of the day it depends how horsey, willing to muck in with baby and everything else (excuse the pun) OH is. If money will be tight etc the horse situation will always be brought up and cause problems its not going back to the victorian times its just real life. Have a heart to heart talk with OH and explain your feelings things will be ok in the end and babies get older
all the best.
 
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