Things your horses have been described as

LB which stood for Little *******

Small pony who really should have been a horse. Hated children with a vengeance. I had him as a companion after many people tried unsuccessfully to convince him children weren’t the enemy.
Saw a former foe of his in Sainsbury’s a couple of years ago. Now fully grown she proadly showed me the scar he gave her on her leg after ditching her and heading home solo.
 
Sweaty, hairy, ginger Fanny.....

She’s called Fanfare and it gets shortened to... well... you know. There are many jokes/innuendos when talking about her.
 
Last edited:
My big lad was known as The Git.
A few years ago I was talking to the farrier about him and said I didn't want to hurt him (the horse). farrier says "Hurt him? A ******* JCB wouldn't hurt him"
 
Recently had a lesson with the fabulous Sophie Wells , she said my boy was , " a very busy boy with places to be and people to see." Haha , it did make me chuckle as that was a very diplomatic way of describing his mood on the day .
He has been called a ***** carthorse but we never speak of that , ever . They can't , not from the bottom of the muckheap anyway ��
 
My sister's horse is usually known as Gigantor - he's a 17.2hh IDxTB and is built like the gable end of a house.

Our farrier refers to Jazz as "Trouble" ... make of that what you will :p
 
Fatpony has no end of awful nicknames, including the Small Fat ********r, Hoover, the 4x4, and for a long while he seemed to think his name was "no!". The world horse welfare inspector calls him Thelwell when she comes to check on him.

My late gelding was quite unfairly dubbed Psycho by our old DC, and lovingly called Nutcase by our farrier.

The OH calls the ginger lunatic Bojack, though I don't see the resemblance. Mother and I call him Grumpy Po as he pulls the most horrendous faces then expects to be cuddled regardless.
 
I used to ride a very well known endurance horse, called at home "Kali" after the Hindu goddess of destruction. On account of the fact in her early years she used to deck everyone who rode her. She went on to be one of The most successful endurance horses of her era
 
Ours is know as ‘sick note’, ‘knobby’ (short for other things)😂

Ah, mine's known as Sick Note too!

Also Moron Horse. And I've recently started calling him a Wily Old Goat - he knows exactly what he's doing!

Oh and Bulldozer, when he disdainfully kicks down every raised pole I have broken my back putting up for him and then gleefully bucks and farts his way round the school in triumph.

I do love him, despite the name calling :p
 
Ah, mine's known as Sick Note too!

Also Moron Horse. And I've recently started calling him a Wily Old Goat - he knows exactly what he's doing!

Oh and Bulldozer, when he disdainfully kicks down every raised pole I have broken my back putting up for him and then gleefully bucks and farts his way round the school in triumph.

I do love him, despite the name calling :p
Sick note is rather aptly retired/possible hacking rehab after a horrendous accident.
I have a double dilute quite infuriatingly decribed as ‘albino’ once or twice by our old neighbour. He’s usually known as donut or stupid.
 
My vaguely Welsh 13.2 was referred to as the wee scootery thing, she could just about walk under most of the other liveries.
 
Most of mine haven't really had "alternative" names apart from my big WB who was known as Wingnut by the vet, who knew him extremely well unfortunately. A fitting nickname to be fair...
 
Dab man is known as 'moose'. Because of his way of moving, frequently droopy lip and goofy personality.

Arty is micro mare, midgety or Princess. She is (finally) becoming less midgety now, but Princess will probably stick. She's a mare with a capital M, who owns the room and damn well knows it.

Pebbles is the My little pony, because, well, she just is 💕
 
Everyone who meets Jed tends to call him a spud. Not sure if its affectionate or insulting! But alas it has become his nickname lol
 
Ella’s full title is; Her Royal Highness the Princess of Whales.
She’s a welshie, a proper lady and was massively fat when I first got her.

I have been heard shouting at the young one whilst lunging “I should have renamed you Danny so you could be D**khead Dan!” Troy the Tit doesn’t have a good a ring to it.
 
Ella’s full title is; Her Royal Highness the Princess of Whales.
She’s a welshie, a proper lady and was massively fat when I first got her.

I have been heard shouting at the young one whilst lunging “I should have renamed you Danny so you could be D**khead Dan!” Troy the Tit doesn’t have a good a ring to it.

A bit off topic, but once upon a time I used to work at a boarding kennels. I was getting one pooch ready for their walk, and they were a bit difficult. As you do I was waffling on to said pooch, and said 'Oi stop being a knobber Fido!' when they tried to drag me out the yard. There were builders on site who heard me and absolutely pissed themselves laughing at this *then* slim blonde woman swearing at the paying guests as I was almost dragged arse over tit :oops::D
 
Top