Think I have found the perfect neddy, but I am scared!

Serephin

Serephin

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went to see a lovely mare last night - she ticks a lot of boxes, is basically my ideal horse - needed spurs in the school, but was very light and responsive once she knew I was wearing them, although showed up my crappy riding a bit by motorbiking around the corners!

took her out for a hack alone (with owners walking behind) - I was SO nervous - it was very windy, and she didn't do a thing, she was a bit looky - we met a huge lorry with air brakes which made her jump, loads of cars and vans which she didn't blink an eye at - and then a bus on single track road! which she did kind of tap dance when it was alongside us, but I just rode her on and she was fine.

I was relieved to get back to the yard, but it made me painfully aware of how nervous I have become. She didn't put a hoof wrong and is very chilled out. I think she would be a great horse for me - but I feel terrified at the thought of owning a horse again and it all going wrong again.

I didn't feel any 'click' as such but I did really like her - she is the perfect breed combo for me (ID x Cleveland Bay), perfect height, perfect age (16) she is in very good condition (a bit fat at the moment) and has a laid back temperament. Will do what i want her to do, hack alone, jump, and would make a good hunter, if I ever find the nerve to do that again!

But, I am reluctant - basically I feel that if I don't buy her, essentially my perfect horse on paper, then I just won't get another horse as I will never be happy with any horse - I was hoping that I would get a very evident 'click' and the decision would be made, but I am quickly realising that my evident nervousness is possibly clouding my inner judgement. I am not nervous in the school, and am quite happy to canter her and would like to jump her - it is just out hacking where I see perils in every bush and hedge!

help me!! *wails*

chocolate chip cookies for making your way through my whining! LOL
 
Have you tried any other horses?

You need to go back and try her again I would say, don't try and make any decision until you are 100% sure, will they let you spend more time with her ie: spend half a day around her, grooming, hacking & schooling?
 
If I'm honest I waited for the click I think it does happen.

Have you seen others?

My mums horse ticked no boxes apart from the height one but we all liked her and she is still here 5 years later. My horse, we looked at 10 others first, 1 or 2 filled a lot of boxes but didn't feel right. Someone else actually bought mine locally then sold him to us 2 months later. As soon as she bought him I kinda hoped they wouldn't get on so I could have him!

I would go and try her again and see how you feel then. Spend a bit of time with her.
 
thanks for the replies!

I have been to see quite a few, yes - a lot of them have been quite nice, but I have not been interested - she is the first that i have really liked.

I am going to try and see her again with my instructor - who is very busy at the moment - I just hope they don't sell her from under me, but if they do I suppose it wasn't meant to be anyway.

I have rung them and left a message saying that I am interested and want to come again and jump her this time to get more of a feel for her. The guy who was showing her to me said he understood that I wanted to think about it, but the owner seemed a little impatient that I didn't make a decision right then and there!

Thats what gets me sometimes, that the owner will say "I want to find the best home for the horse" and then in the next breath seem amazed that you don't scream YES! I'll have it! right then and there! Then trot out the line "I have other people who are interested in seeing her" as if that is going to guilt me into making a hasty decision.
 
Whatever you do, do Not be pressurised by her vendors. If they sell her before you get to try her again then rest assured you Will find something else. V sensible to get your instructor to give you a lesson (and maybe even bribe them to have a hop on) but dont feel in the slightest bit guilty about asking to try her again, or go up there just to see her. Dont also stop looking at others.
Re the 'click' thats debateable, but at the moment just bear in mind there are lots of nice horses out there for sale and if she goes before your mind is 200% made up, then keep searching. Everything will work out. Very best of luck to you.
 
I don't think 'the click' is always necessary. I've had it with 3 of my horses, the one I outright bought (other two I was the rider) after 2 years it kind o ffell apart.

My current boy I didn't 'click' with, he was just a scruffy underweight malnourished thing, but now when I look at him (a year later) I get that 'phwoar' lovely pride feeling.

A click can develop, and it can be lost. Bit like love, I suppose :P
 
hmm, whilst i agree you may not find a click i personally would want to feel 100% happy. i went and viewed one who ticked all boxes but i just felt bit odd on her although she was perfect. she failed the vetting and oddly i felt relieved, so something wasn't right even tho she was perfect. so please make totally sure your happy!
 
God, I was there 4 years ago. Terrified about everything, wouldn't jump, scared to canter, saw every goblin before my horse did. I went to see Cheeky and rode him. We didn't 'click' as such, and he buggered about endlessly after our canter, but he stopped as soon as I asked him to and that was all I wanted. We got him, and 4 years on I'm confident, happy and love riding again and I don't freak out so much. It took time, but he is the perfecthorse for me. Just for some context, I had beens so scared by my pony that I was on the verge of giving up if my mum hadn't managed to find him so quickly, and if he had put a hoof out of line in the first year he would have gone straight back and I would have quit.
 
Also bear in mind that riding somebodys elses horse with them watching, may bring out nerves too. Wishing you the best of luck finding your perfect ned.
 
I havent read anyone elses posts ,but let me be the one to say that if you heart tells you instantly with out any hessitation that she is the right one for you then they usually are. My last horse I bought on instinct and had him for 8years as everyone knows and he was my baby loved him to bits and we had the most fantastic life together through all the good and bad and my new horse I bought her on instinct and I feel instantly in love with her and even though I have only had her a week on Friday I know I have made the right decision.
If you have the think about buying this horse then go see some others but if you know straight away this horse is for you then dont hesitiate and buy it.You will not regret it I promiss you x
 
i found a 'click' with 2 horses. both of which fell through. i then found another and although we didnt 'click' now i have her, shes fantastic and i dont regret my decision in the slightest. i took a chance and its paying off
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thanks everyone.

I need to see her again and see how it feels - at the moment I just don't know and I suppose that isn't a good sign either, as if she was the 'one' I would know straight away. Then again I am such a nervous idiot at the moment, that my dream horse could be handed to me and I would still be skeptical as hell!

see how my mind messes with me! LOL
 
Hi there - I know how you feel, particularly after the probs you have had, you need to go and look again, and if neccessary again. If the horse is sold in the meantime it wasnt meant to be.

We have finaly sold our tb after nearly 3 years of umming and ahhrring, A disastrous loan and even when we had someone who wanted her my daughter, who had been riding her daily (supposed to be on study leave LOL) still had doubts about selling her because she was going so well. Now she has finaly gone we are both agreed it was the right thing - tricky thing will be starting to look for a replacemen that will suit both of us, makes me feel a bit sick just thinking about it - best of luck.
 
I agree, I went to see my current horse 4 times before I bought him (even though I loved him on first sight).

I also kept him at my instructors yard for a month before bringing him home, so we got off to a good start, so if you do bit the bullet, make sure you have good people around you while you build up your relation/confidence.

Also, remember it may take a new horse a little while to settle in and feel secure, so I would suggest don't do anything too ambitious until you feel you are both ready for it.
 
I clicked with and adored my horse who turned out a disaster. I didn't fall in love with my young horse who I bought purely because she ticked all the important boxes. Buying her was the best decision I've ever made, I'm really pleased with her and now love her to bits. I was also a bit disillusioned with horse buying and scared of buying another disaster, but buying on merit and not on instinct worked for me this time.

If you have found what you were looking for, snap it up, don't rely on your emotions to make the right decisions.
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I'm not sure about the 'click' I know when I went to see George that he wasn't really what I was looking for and I thought he was far too big (16.3), but when I rode him I really liked him. The sellers then let me spend some time with him whilst they got on with other jobs, so I groomed him, picked his feet out, led him out, put rugs on and off etc, and that was when I realised he was the one. We have had some big downs, but I love him to bits, he has taught me so much and the ups have been wonderful.

After the first visit I went back to see him twice more, just to be sure. Didn't stop me being totally terrified I'd done the wrong thing though!
 
Same here g_g. I went to see my mare, the first and only horse I looked at and she pulled faces at me in the stable, looked miserable and wasn't really my type. But when I rode her there was a nice feel about her and she ' popped a 1.10 fence no problem ( although I don't like jumping)

Had her vetted and brought her home. She was then a missy cow to ride for about 6 months, found out her history, understood why, made my changes and learnt to be more understanding and now I love her to bits. She is willing, fidgety, annoying, funny but also very sweet and kind.

You can never tell!
 
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