Thinking about buying a horse.

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gemmagallagher

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I may be in the position soon to fulfill my lifelong ambition and buy my own horse, however, i have a non horsey OH who thinks a horse is just an expensive pet!! I really believe that we will be able to afford the upkeep, insurance etc and i have an amazing friend who has offered to help me out when or if i cant manage to get to the yard (I work 12 hr shifts ).
I asked him out of curiosity, if i had my own horse would he ride it and he said ofcourse he would (I have taken him riding a couple of times and he enjoyed it). I just dont know how to convince him that it would be a good decision (I am certainly alot easier to live with when i have my horsey fix)!!
Has anyone else been in this situation and how did you overcome it? Thankyou in advance!
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As long as you are footing the bill for it don't see why hubby needs pursuading. It's your hobby after all...
 
As long as it's your money that will be paying for it I don't see the problem.

I am very lucky as my OH actually has a savings account set to the side which he puts money in for when I'll be in a position to buy my own horse
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Tell your other half what I told mine when I met him.

Love me, love my horse.

Well he does, so much so we fight about who's going to ride her. So he now has his own!

We also have a 16 month old baby who no doubt in time will have her own pony too.

We'll be well skint but very happy!!!
 
[ QUOTE ]
Four words:

I'm getting a horse.

Problem solved!
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Those are the words me and my mum used on my dad! We told him I was getting a horse, he was paying livery, no excuses! He just said aslong as it kept me off street corners he was happy with that..
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Sounds like my OH, it's a man thing, they get all insecure about your affections going elsewhere, takes a while but they get over it, and they are useful for all the man jobs needing done around the place! dont mean to be contraversial.
 
My OH refused to speak to me for 2 weeks when i bought my boy, he was convinced we couldnt afford him and thought it was a complete waste of money buying a foal that i cant ride for years. Now hes had time to get to know Spots hes addicted, so much that when i asked if we could have a horse from our yard on loan, so i could ride, he said yes. (Never get to ride Rowan though, OH wont share!!). Hes had riding lessons, sold his motor bike and bought all new horsey stuff.
Go and get your horse, he will come round
 
If you are happier with a horse it may make him happier.
At least you told him.
I had a OH. He went on holiday and i bought a horse. I told him i had a surprise for when he got back.
26 years later i still have the horse!!! OH was not happy. Could not love me love my horse. We don't miss him !!!!
 
I have never had any issues with my OH riding, and when she decided to finally buy her own, I did the negotiations and paid for the dobbins. When she recently decided to buy another, I had to be involved, as I am now riding as well.

Take the OH along when you look at prospective horses and get him involved. Worked for me, even though I had absolutely no interest in riding at the time.
 
[ QUOTE ]
If you are happier with a horse it may make him happier.
At least you told him.
I had a OH. He went on holiday and i bought a horse. I told him i had a surprise for when he got back.
26 years later i still have the horse!!! OH was not happy. Could not love me love my horse. We don't miss him !!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Lol, that made me giggle!
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I am sure OH will come round to the idea. Mine did and is now riding himself.

However, I would just say that you have a couple of issues on your hands:

A ) do you buy "your" dream horse
B) do you buy a horse that is maybe not quite for you but good enough for a novice like your OH
C) what happens if OH gets bored and you have sacrificed getting the right ned for you and you end up being the sole rider?

Sorry - not meaning to put you off but I have met loads of couples who want a horse between them and buy a midway horse and then the OH loses interest leaving them with a horse that they cant really do what they want.......

If you get what I making a hash of tryin to say!!!!!
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Thanks for all your replies they certainly made me chuckle!! It may be a couple of months until the money is in my hand and so i have a while to "work" on him hehe, but i did consider just telling him after i had purchased the horse!!!
 
Silver_Florin - Almost exactly the same happened to me...

Went out with a lovely bloke for a couple of years, bought another horse (grand total of 2) and he said that the horses will have to go!! Unfortunately that isn't the wisest thing to say and he was promptly got rid of and horses are still present...

Pinkerton - do it, don't ask him..its your time, choice and money!!
 
Don't do it - the dream is far better than the reality!!!!
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Having your own horse can be marvellous but they can very often end up not much more than an expensive pet, your OH has a point. Have you done shares/loans before and been around lots of livery yards, experiencing people's vets fees and disappointments? Sorry to be really negative, I wouldn't be without a horse but it sure ain't all beach gallops and gymkhanas! If you're prepared for the bad as well as the good then go for it.
 
i was thinking of buying a nice Cob, something thats not a complete novice ride but sane enough to take OH on lead rein, if he wants to continue i'll send him to the stables for proffessional lessons as we have no school at the yard i plan to keep future horse at (Just lots of land, great hacking and miles of common land). I'm not looking for a competition horse, just something i can have fun with and maybe do some local shows. It may sound very selfish of me but i plan to buy a horse for me, if OH grows to love it then maybe he can buy his own!! Lol
 
I know it wont be cheap, i had a pony when i was young and i've helped friends with theirs and worked with horses in the past so i have an idea of costs etc. The yard i plan to keep horse at is £20 per week inc stable, 24/7 turnout if required, haylage and bedding. I plan to insure horse to cover any unexpected vet fees and really believe i can afford shoes, feed, vaccs etc. I planned to buy one with my friend last year but OH said i needed to pass driving test first, well i passed that and got a car and now i cant help but feel this is my chance! It was the initial cost of purchasing the horse that was the main problem before but i will have enough for that within the next 2 months. Am i being completely selfish or mad? I know i'll never have the cash to buy one outright again and i dont want to miss my chance!
 
If that's your dream then you should do it
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! My OH threw a complete strop when I was looking for a foal and I mean seriously didn't talk to me, never asked me about it, I even had his family chewing my ear off saying that how could I afford it and I wouldn't have time for anything else anymore, I mean come on
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!!! I now have Archie who I adore and OH's still only ever seen him twice, moans when he there and never asks me about him. IMO he's my horse I pay and care for him independently and I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't think he'll ever come round but tbh it's my hobby and my escapism from everything else
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!
 
I was in a similar position to you, I dreamt of having my own horse for 30yrs, and then last year I felt I was in a position to afford one. My OH isn't horsey and as we share our money and it would affect our time together, I wanted him to be happy with it. So I plucked up the courage to have a discussion about it and OH said 'yes why not!!'

George was the result, it wasn't a bed of roses, I have had yard problems (not now I've found a fab one) and lots of confidence issues, but I love G to bits and sometimes I just stare at him unable to believe he's mine!

The day I found George (first viewing)
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Falling in love!!
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It really is priceless!
 
Nothing wrong with being selfish - you only live once! Sometimes compromise is a necessary evil
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but if you've thought it through and know if you didn't go for it you'd look back in a few years time regretting your decision, you have to! OH will get used to it. Yes, you are mad
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, but you are not alone! A non-horse person will never understand unless they have a real passion of their own that wouldn't make sense to outsiders.
 
My friend lived with her OH and had a field etc at home with a livery already there, she only told him she had bought a horse when he asked her who's horse was in the field
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!!! His reaction was 'Brilliant, this means I can get a motorbike and you can't stop me'!!!
 
Thank you sooo much for all the replies!!! I have taken on board all of your opinions and advice and i've decided that as soon as i have the cash in my hand i'm going to sit my OH down and have a good long chat about it!! Hopefully there will be a new arrival in a few months, i'll keep you all posted!!
 
I would love to be in a position to buy my own horse.Its at the top of my wish list. OH is definitely non horsey. I gave up riding when we had the kids to keep him happy (so I was young and didn't know any better!)
The kids are now growing up with the youngest being 7 so I've gone back to my fave pastime of riding. I share Ellie and am sooo much happier for it so OH can't really complain can he
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You could always feed £50 notes into a shredding machine whilst someone throws buckets of cold water over you, which gives a very similar sensation to horse ownership in winter!!!! Only joking (a bit!). My OH is not horsey at all, but understood straight from the start that horses are my social, sporting and emotional life, and he is (usually) very supportive and understanding. He knows that I would be a very different (more fragrant, richer, etc) person without the horse. I do find that I have to try to keep the horse talk to a minimum when I get home from a good lesson, competition or whatever though, otherwise his eyes tend to glaze over! I'd say go for it!
 
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