Thinking of giving up horses

[kezza123]

After losing my mare at the start of the year and I haven't felt the same about horses. After she was put down, I got a tb as I used to love having a project to work on (and also to get my mind off of losing her). He has been very difficult and have found he he has NPA in his back feet which are causing him immense discomfort throughout his back and up to his poll. I have been advised by the farrier and vet to give him a least a year off ridden and may not even come back from it entirely.

I used to love being around the horses but now after this I didn't know whether I want to continue with them. I feel very guilty admitting that as I have always loved them dearly! However, it's not fun now and is starting to become a burden mentally so don't know what quite to do. I have been offered another horse which I would have on full loan who is ready to go out and do things on but I then have to pay for two horses and do of the yard chores and have nowhere to keep a trailer so wouldn't be able to go out that much anyways. I have a lot going on in my life atm and don't know whether getting out and riding again would help or just add pressure to myself again.

If I were to give it all up I'm unsure what I would do with my tb as he is very reactive and quirky but such a lovely boy. I haven't clicked with him in the same way I clicked with my last mare but still care deeply for him and want to what's right for him but am at the end of my tether with it. Im heartbroken that I am even thinking of giving horses up but I am really struggling with my mental health atm and think this may be adding to it.

Please let me know what you would do in my situation?

P.S sorry for ranting!!

 

[Beausmate]

When my long-term, superstar horse was killed by my new horse, making him the third I had lost in six months, I wanted to give up. I had an oldie and a two-year-old, so they didn't need much and I struggled to deal with the new horse after what had happened, so I did sod all with them. I was renting a field, and just did the bare minimum for a while. I moved yards not long after, and started to do a bit more with the youngster and a bit of hacking with the oldie, who is lovely and naughty in equal measure. No pressure, no urgency, just enjoying them when I wanted to and just doing the basics when I didn't. I started the youngster when she turned five, which turned out to be a bit more challenging than I had hoped for! But we have gone out and had fun since.

I think the thing was not being under any pressure to do anything, to just take a step back for a while until I felt more positive about it. The 'new horse' has gone to a friend and I have a little thoroughbred mare to play with, who has done bugger all in the last year riding-wise but I have been enjoying doing groundwork, both with her and the former youngster, who is now nine!

I think a lot of it depends on how you keep your horse, whether you are in a position to just let them loaf about in the field for a while. Just hang out with your horse, plait his tail or take him for a walk or stick some flowers in his mane. Go out on a nice day and take some arty photos, just see if you can enjoy doing something by not doing anything.

Try doing some groundwork of some sort and just see if that works for you. Recently I've been giving the Slow Walk Work a go and it's great. It's just so low-key, but you really tune in with your horse and it's good for them physically and both of you mentally. Definitely a case of less being more.

You need to take the pressure off yourself. Don't feel guilty about it - stuff happens, that's life. And give yourself a hug. And your horse a carrot. He'll like that, and you will like seeing him like it. Follow that vibe

 

[fidleyspromise]

Could you look at grass livery somewhere for him where he'd be checked up on? Give yourself a year off to have a break and see how you feel and whether you miss it?

 

[kaiserchief]

I was where you are 9 years ago when I lost my heart horse. It has taken until now (and my daughter wanting to ride) to decide to get back into the world of horses. Take all the time you need to grieve your mare and take the pressure off yourself. If life is busy and you don't want to ride, don't. Either rehome your thoroughbred or keep him on field rest where you check and feed him every day but enjoy not having to do much else while he's rehabbing. Either the spark will reignite or it won't. Either is fine. It is really hard to lose a special horse - they take a huge chunk of your heart with them when they go.

 

[Peglo]

When my second oldie was PTS 9 months after my other one it hit me harder than I thought it would. She got to a good old age and I never hoped I’d have as long with her as I did so I was surprised with how much I struggled.
I already had another horse that I adored and I bought a new one who took a long time to settle with me.

It took a long time to click with my new one. I felt bad that I didn’t have that instant love I had for my others and didn’t want the added stress of her when I wasn’t at my best.

I just turned her out and let her horse and slowly she settled and I started looking forward to seeing her.
I am very fond of her now and definitely love her. I just needed to step back and let it happen.

Mine are at home so I didn’t have livery expenses and I already had 1 so needed a companion for her so my scenario is different.

If you could find cheaper grass livery it may be worth turning your TB out for the year until you’re in a better place emotionally but only you can decide if it is time to give up altogether.
Sorry you lost you’re old horse. It is so hard.