This Just Shows How Non-Horsey My Mum Is...

My Dad has done lots of embarrassing things at horsey events, especially the first year I had a pony. The top two are...

- stood at the side of the ring watching me show jumping and when I got a clear round he turned to the woman next to him and said "she's ridden Everest Mon Santa, you know Roger Whittaker's horse" ! (I was lucky enough to know the lady who got Mon Santa when he retired from show jumping with MICHAEL Whittaker!)

- First ever pony club rally and my Dad gets caught going for a pee in the bushes! He got caught as being totally non horsey, went creeping round the bushes right next to where we were riding and the horses all got spooked and one child fell off! He was taken to one side by the DC and was told next time, use a bucket in the back of the trailer! Mortified!

Although I shouldn't complain too much as if it weren't for Daddy, I'd have never been lucky enough to get a pony! We laugh so much at these things now - Dad even made a reference to these incidents in his speech at my wedding!

:D Crying with laughter here!

My dad does come out with some odd questions! At our very first show recently, where i was extremely nervous, i had kept my horses red tail bandage on whilst i warmed up and my dad wouldn't stop going on about it!
'Why has she got that on her tail?, is it red because she kicks?, when are you going to take it off? Doesn't it hurt her? What's it called again?'

AArrrgggg!!! Stop going on about the tail bandage!!! :D

Bless him! :)
 
My mum is ever so slightly horsey, she used to ride when she was younger and will come and see Ethel every now and then calling her "my mate" all the time.

She made me chuckle when she was giving Ethel a brush one day and whilst going down her front legs she went "Toni, she has a MASSIVE scab on her leg" "Oh really? It wasnt there earlier .." "Yeah look right here, she's got one there too! On her other leg!!" *have a look at where she's pointing too* "Mum, theyre her chesnuts, all horses are born with them" "Oh right okay, don't they hurt them?" "No mum, look .." *prods chesnut* "DONT DO THAT! ITS MEAN!" :rolleyes: bless her
 
My mum is ever so slightly horsey, she used to ride when she was younger and will come and see Ethel every now and then calling her "my mate" all the time.

She made me chuckle when she was giving Ethel a brush one day and whilst going down her front legs she went "Toni, she has a MASSIVE scab on her leg" "Oh really? It wasnt there earlier .." "Yeah look right here, she's got one there too! On her other leg!!" *have a look at where she's pointing too* "Mum, theyre her chesnuts, all horses are born with them" "Oh right okay, don't they hurt them?" "No mum, look .." *prods chesnut* "DONT DO THAT! ITS MEAN!" :rolleyes: bless her

LMAO!

Reminds me of my dad....

When buying my mare at auction (outside of the ring) he decided to be knowledgable as he'd heard horror stories about actions. He did okay with the bucking/rearing/bolting etc questions but slipped right up when he asked if the 'scars' on her legs would stop her jumping or anything like that.

There was a silence until 11 year old me explained that actually, they were chestnuts and not scars. Unfortunately he then piped up with "Yes sweetheart, I know she's chestnut but I want to know about those scars. I don't want to be swindled at a horse auction you know"

*Ground; swallow me up now* :o :D :D :D.
 
Best one i heard was when i moved to new yard, lady with two horses said are u turning her out now...i said yes, she said ooh hang on let me take his fly mask off so he can see.....she has 2 horses!!! did she think it blinded them?
 
- First ever pony club rally and my Dad gets caught going for a pee in the bushes! He got caught as being totally non horsey, went creeping round the bushes right next to where we were riding and the horses all got spooked and one child fell off! He was taken to one side by the DC and was told next time, use a bucket in the back of the trailer! Mortified!

That is absolutely brilliant! :D :D :D. The mental images are just wonderful :D :D :D :D :D.
 
LMAO!

Reminds me of my dad....

When buying my mare at auction (outside of the ring) he decided to be knowledgable as he'd heard horror stories about actions. He did okay with the bucking/rearing/bolting etc questions but slipped right up when he asked if the 'scars' on her legs would stop her jumping or anything like that.

There was a silence until 11 year old me explained that actually, they were chestnuts and not scars. Unfortunately he then piped up with "Yes sweetheart, I know she's chestnut but I want to know about those scars. I don't want to be swindled at a horse auction you know"

*Ground; swallow me up now* :o :D :D :D.

Haha!! I'm lucky as my mare is bay, but I was surprised that she didn't question the name also being a colour lol ... although when seeing chesnuts she calls them ginger and often refers to them looking like me (as im also ginger) ... cheers mother lol :D
 
LMAO!

Reminds me of my dad....

When buying my mare at auction (outside of the ring) he decided to be knowledgable as he'd heard horror stories about actions. He did okay with the bucking/rearing/bolting etc questions but slipped right up when he asked if the 'scars' on her legs would stop her jumping or anything like that.

There was a silence until 11 year old me explained that actually, they were chestnuts and not scars. Unfortunately he then piped up with "Yes sweetheart, I know she's chestnut but I want to know about those scars. I don't want to be swindled at a horse auction you know"

*Ground; swallow me up now* :o :D :D :D.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL Thats Hilarious!! :D :D :D :D
 
When my little boy was about 18 months he got really upset when I turned my horse out and he rolled he said ' Mummy Jasper fell over help him'!
 
Haha!! I'm lucky as my mare is bay, but I was surprised that she didn't question the name also being a colour lol ... although when seeing chesnuts she calls them ginger and often refers to them looking like me (as im also ginger) ... cheers mother lol :D

:D :D :D. Unfortunately for me, I have aunurn-ey coloured hair, a chestnut pony and a Red Setter dog.

I look like a saddo who has colour co-ordinated her pets :o :D. It's all coincidence, I promise! :D
 
Haha some of these are great :)

One of the best ones for me was when I had clipped a star into my mares bum, and a little boy who saw us on a hack said "Mummy, why has that horse got a tattoo", I then explained that it will grow out and doesn't hurt :p

On a school trip, a friend saw some horses in a field and went "OMG Amy, who's going to give your horse its lunch today, because we're going to be out all day!!!" She looked genuinely shocked until I explained they didn't have 3 meals a day and she was scoffing in a field right now.

And a girl once told me that she had a horse and that it was 18.5 hands. Paha RIGHT.
 
PMSL, some of these are hilarious!! :D
My pony permanently wears overreach boots at home, he normally has rubber ones, but my dad bought him some neoprene ones for his 'slippers' so it would be more comfortable to sleep in!
My favourite has to be when our neighbour rushed over in a panic and told my dad one of our horses was dead! Dad paniced too and rushed outside, to find my pony lying down in the sun but had to wake him up to convince our neighbour he was still alive! :p:D
 
At pony club camp one year, my dad was left to check half of the yard for night stables. 5 minutes later my dad's sprinting accross the yard shouting for the DC as 'one of the horses is dead!!!' :eek:. Queue mass hysteria of adults and the horse's owner! They all run to the stable to find the horse stood up quietly munching on his hay....the 5/6 year old baby had been fast asleep on his side, dad didn't think to look closer, and in shouting and causing the chaos woke the poor baby up!!! He never did live that one down :eek: :D
 
At the stables the other morning, I took my 2 1/2 yo daughter along with me. There are two ponies who come in during the day.... One was out being ridden and the other one was naying on it! Well my daughter freaked until we all told her he was saying hello! Next thing I know she says that he told her 'he was very hungry' and needed to eat all the carrots that we had with us! :)
 
At pony club camp one year, my dad was left to check half of the yard for night stables. 5 minutes later my dad's sprinting accross the yard shouting for the DC as 'one of the horses is dead!!!' :eek:. Queue mass hysteria of adults and the horse's owner! They all run to the stable to find the horse stood up quietly munching on his hay....the 5/6 year old baby had been fast asleep on his side, dad didn't think to look closer, and in shouting and causing the chaos woke the poor baby up!!! He never did live that one down :eek: :D

Awww Bless!!!

I Can Just Imagine That :rolleyes: :D
 
lol these are great!

My parents are extremely non-horsey, they always make terrible remarks (luckily no one but me hears them!)

1) my mum swears that the horse i often ride is chestnut, when i then have to explain that he is in fact bay (surely she knows the difference between ginger and brown with a black mane and tail!?)

2) I'm riding a different horse whos only 14.1hh and she reckons is enormous! lol i then have to explain that he is in fact a pony, so she then goes (oh well he looks very big to me!) i would hate for her to watch me riding some 17hh horse! luckily the RS doesn't have any that big!

3) On the same horse as number 2, mum walks up to him nd says hello morgan, which is completely the wrong horse! lol i then explain that this horse is in fact chestnut, which she seems confused about! lol

4) same horse again and mum goes ''whats that on his leg!?'' at which point i become concerned, (i was on him at the time) trying to look under at his legs thinking he has cut himself whilst jumping of something! But alas she is pointing at his chestnuts (sp?) (panic over!) and i explain to her all horses have them and its nothing to worry about, so she bends down to have a nosey at all the other horses legs, lol! :D


I'm sure there will be many more to come from my mum. Dad gets it a bit more and just doesn't tend to ask about anything :rolleyes:
 
im trying to teach the boyfriend about horses.. queue driving past a field, me pointing at a horses and asking what colour they are?
one was;

arab..
apparently... ;) ahhhw bless.
 
After lunging my little mare my mum always likes to give her an apple because she says: "it's nice and refreshing for her"
Also regarding the grazing muzzle on my mare: "oh it's so cruel, I can't see her like that"

My parents have to be THE most non horsey parents ever! They're great because they try their best and they built pastures so that I could keep my horses at home but some times it's unbelievable what they come out with! :rolleyes:

Aww sound like great parents! Love the apple one, nice and refreshing lol:D
 
im trying to teach the boyfriend about horses.. queue driving past a field, me pointing at a horses and asking what colour they are?
one was;

arab..
apparently... ;) ahhhw bless.

I been trying to teach my boyfriend too, isnt going too well :rolleyes:
I show him pictures and ask what colour the horses are, he's always like...brown....brown....white.....brown.....
No you muppet, proper names for the colours :D
 
I think for me one of the funniest things my dad ever came out with was:

Me: Look Dad, isn't this funny, someone on here has an OH who thinks rearing is when the horses rear end is in the air...
Dad: Well of course it is Ellie, what did you think?!? And bucking is when the front end is in the air!
Me: Noooo, rearing is the front end, bucking is the back
Dad: Why? That makes no sense! It would make more sense the other way around, maybe you should get everyone to change it!!
Me: Doh!

I also tried teaching my dad horse colours whilst pointing to good examples:
Dad: So the white horse is "grey", the grey horse is "blue" (roan), the pink horse is a strawberry (roan), the ginger horse is "chestnut", the brown horse is "bay" so why does the black horse only get to be called "black"? ...And why is your white horse "cream-bello" then?

I also had a random man ask my friend and I if we were in training for the Derby a few days ago as we happened to hack past where he was sitting. Fine, BUT, I was on a fjord and my friend was on a 14hh cob... we were in walk at the time!
We laughed and replied that if we started riding there now, by the time it was on we might just have arrived...
 
My mum used to ride, so is ok, but my dad... god! he shouted me as I was going passed the house ages ago on my old TB< and said I was wanted on the phone, so jumped off, and he said he would hold Pols, I got back a couple of min later, and he was walking in the house FURIOUS! I asked him where she was, he'd put her back in the field (tack and ALL) because she'd 'looked at him with a cross face' and 'stamped on his foot ON PURPOSE 3 times'... she was quite happy about it all.... he is adamant to this day (15 years later!!) that she did it on purpose as she didn't like him!
 
These are all brilliant. I, very boringly, have a horsey mum who only asks sensible (if annoying) questions when she sees my horses these days. Along the lines of ' you know her feet need doing don't you?' etc. No mother I hadn't noticed despite the fact I have been doing this my whole life.

Makes life much less interesting!
 
Top