Those of you who have lost horses... how long did you wait before getting another?

ShadowFlame

ShadowFlame

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Not something I'm considering right now, but purely out of curiosity.

So many people have such different opinions / suggestions on this. Many say that time is the best healer, and to re-enter the horsey game when you're ready. However, it's surprised me how many people have stated that the best way to get over a loss of one, is to have a new one to focus on.

So... how long did you wait? Weeks? Months? Years? Are you glad you waited the time that you did?
 
I lost my old mare on 4th April last year - she was 35 and I'd had her for 30 years. I picked my new horse up on 6th May. I was very lucky to have found him so quickly - I did start looking straight away but didn't buy him because I needed to get another horse straight away, I bought him because he was the right horse for me. My only thing was that I didn't want another bay as that's what my old girl was - no offence to bays, I just wanted something different so that it was a new venture rather than replacing her.
 
Do whatever feels right for you and bother the rest of them, there will always be a good selection of people on here to support whichever choice you make, and to understand that that that choice was personal to you.
 
The one time I lost my only horse I never thought id have another but tbh I had no interaction with horses with him gone and sat at home crying over him. Once id saved a bit of money I got another- Probably about 3 months if that.
It really did help, just because he gave me something to focus on and keep me occupied. He never did and never will replace the one I lost but im certain he helped me though it all.
 
I was looking for another when she died suddenly, without warning, but it was such a shock after 25 years that I didn't go near a horse till I got the lad five years later.

Everyone's different, and we do what is right for us.
 
Ahhh this is a question ppl have religiously asked me since losing my boy 2 weeks ago along with 'what are you riding now then?!' I have my other little pony to keep me at the yard and my field share has kindly donated his horses to ride so that i didn't feel rushed into buying something just so i could ride again. Feasibly, i'm looking into buying in the winter or early next year. This is purely for financial reasons and saving for a house deposit. If i didn't have the generousity of a friend and riding whenever i felt like it, then i may be tempted into buying in a month or so. It's an individual decision and no business of others. I now just have people fighting over my empty stable as i did so much work to it!
 
I lost my big lad and it broke my heart, OH thought he was being thoughtful by surprising me with another horse 3 weeks after however for me I was too soon. I didn't bond with my new horse, wasn't his fault he was lovely but I just didn't want him. I sold him 7 months later to a great home where he's doing so much more than I would have done with him and I keep in touch via Facebook.
 
3 months. I should have waited longer because although my boy is adorable and right for me in many ways, he's not tall enough, IMO and was a bit of an impulse buy :o

Like someone else said, I got a different colour very deliberately (and type, size and temperament, going from a dark bay 17.2 quite spooky 14 year old Hanoverian x dressage been there done it all to a 5 year old 15hh coloured cob who had done almost nothing)
 
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Last year this time i had four horses, i have lost two in the last ten months. I had them for ten years but am still left with my ponies (2). I lost my old boy 2 weeks ago and was still grieving for my other horse who died last June 2012. I really thought that when Major my last horse went i would replace him as i cannot ride the two ponies (one youngster and an oldie 36) but at the moment i am very raw and cannot face another horse. I cannot face the loss and grief again so soon. I know i will face it again but there is less chances of it happening if i have two horses not three (not very logical i suppose but my heart is broken).
 
I lost Ginger and did not get anohter one, as I still had two.
I lost the big lad and had to get another one as I still had the little lad whom was pining for a friend.

I now have 4?????? no idea how that happend.

Will I get others ? - well it depends on the horses I have 3 around 10/11 and a 3 year old - so whom knows

GW
x
 
When you are ready, you are so welcome to come and have a ride with me. You could have my highland or my traddie cob. We are in ombersley, I let you know when my saddle is back otherwise it will be bareback!
 
Hello Shadowflame, I've been thinking about you a lot. As others have said, it's such a personal decision. And there are many additional factors, such as whether one has a pining stablemate who needs a companion etc.

You'll know within yourself what to do, and when to do it; another horse is not a replacement, but I think does help one feel that life continues and that there are still happy days ahead (hard to believe, though, in the thrall of shock and pain). The right horse may somehow be sent your way tomorrow, or you may wait a while. Do what feels right for YOU.
 
Highlands said:
When you are ready, you are so welcome to come and have a ride with me. You could have my highland or my traddie cob. We are in ombersley, I let you know when my saddle is back otherwise it will be bareback!
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Highlands, bless you :) I'm in south of Brum, so not a million miles away.

I've had a few offers from people on our livery yard of horses to ride... but I'm not sure whether I feel upto it or not, plus it kills me having to walk past his empty stable (still have to clear it out yet :( ).

Thanks all for your thoughts, I'm a bit up and down at the minute. I think my plan is to give it a couple of weeks for the dust to settle, and not actively look for another horse (I won't use the word replacement... nothing would replace Rods), but maybe keep an eye open and go with it should the right one crop up.

The worst thing right now is having too much free time to mull everything over. God, I miss him :(
 
I lost my last horse quickly in tragic circumstances and i was heartbroken. I didnt leave the house for days :( i was convinved i wouldnt get another but soon the boredom took over and i started to ride friends horses and volunteered at a horse sanctuary to get back into it. He died in the march and i got my new one in the august so i waited 5 months. U will know when u r ready and when u find that right horse u will know :)
 
I had my mare-of-a-lifetime put down in November then tragically lost her son to colic in April. I hadn't finished crying for her before I faced the devastation of losing him, but I also couldn't bear to be horseless so I have had my new girl for just over a week.

I'm still crying for my boy, but that doesn't affect the relationship that is developing with my new girl.

But I agree with previous posters - it depends on you, there are no rules.
 
I knew my gelding had to be pts and he had one last summer out at grass. All summer I searched for another because I thought that if I didn't I wouldn't have the heart to do so after he was gone. I really hoped to have an overlap but I found my new horse and she couldn't be delivered straight away so eventually she arrived 2 days after he was pts.

I was so utterly distraught at losing him that I was absolutely unable to bond with my new mare at all. I persevered though, because I knew she was the right type for me and had bought with my head rather than my heart which was already lost to my gelding.

18 months later we finally clicked and she is now the light of my life :D.
 
Oh I do so feel for you Shadowflame. Like others have said it is a personal choice. When I lost my old racer Bob, two years ago this month, I already had my lad Murphy. They had been together 10 years, so the question didn't arise. Murph was there, and he needed me, and he was my rock in coming to terms with losing Bob, but when I lost Murph in January, completely out of the blue, to colic, I confess I stood in the yard on that day, and said "I can't do this anymore". BUT, just after a few days later I got pangs of missing being around horses, and started looking, not with anything specific in mind, so upshot, I have now, a gorgeous yearling TB x cob filly called Darcey. I say she is a little bit Bob and a little bit Murphy! My two boys will always be special to me, and I will never forget them, but Darcey has helped to ease a broken heart, and I love her, for herself as much as anything. So, it's up to you. If you feel another would help, then go for it. It certainly helped me, and I love her now as much as I loved ( and still do) my two boys. Horses have great healing qualities.
I wish you well, in whatever you decide. I know it is very raw for you at the moment. (((hugs))) x
 
My boy got PTS at the end of October... and I got my new boy at the start of November. To be fair though, I had given my old boy to my instructor in September, as he had had lameness problems over the summer - he was an older boy, and I wanted to get competing and doing a bit more, so she offered to take him, try and get him sound, and then use him for RDA. I had kind of said my goodbyes, so when my new boy came up for sale at work I put my name down for him. However after coming back from a two week holiday in October, I got told that his lameness had worsened dramatically and both her and vet wanted to pts.

So I felt horrendously guilty when I got my new boy, espesh as they were both bays (old one was blood bay, new one bright bay) with white markings (old one a blaze and four socks, new one one sock, two coronets and a star and snip), and found myself going 'Fitz would'nt have done that' quite a lot in the first few months... but now we have bonded, are workign well together, and I appreciate him for him. And I can admit (however much it hurts) that he suits where I am now much more than my old boy did. Still painful though!
 
Do what is right for you. Everyone is different. Don't be rushed into something before you are ready- you maybe ready next week, or next year. But do take someone with you, so they keep their sensible head on, and can make an informed decision,where your judgement may still be slightly wobbly. You may not listen to them, but at least they will see things with a different set of eyes, as it were.
I lost my homebred boy last march, aged 17. Totally distraught, and although we had other horses he was my horse of a lifetime. I started looking for something else the same day, as I just knew I had a massive void in my life.
My daughter and I discussed things, and I felt she was ready for a project, although it would have to be something I could also ride. Within 3 weeks, we had found our welsh cob mare, and within 4 weeks she was home.
She has very much filled the gap, been a baptism of fire as a project at times, but her unique personality has helped me recover from my loss. I still miss my old lad massively, but the pain has been less due to the pleasure our mare has given us.
Thinking of you at this time.
 
After my first pony died I didn't get another for 7 years. Then that replacement had a horrible accident within the year :( I waited about 6 months. Then after my old lad was PTS I got current boy after about 6 weeks. Each time was right for me.
 
When I lost my horse I was already riding my Sisters horse which I had backed that year, I was back down the yard within a few days and my Sister said I could have hers if I wanted which was really nice of her and I still have him today so worked out well for me, I think it really depends on how you feel I have known some people to get another right away and others feel the need to wait or never end up getting another.
 
Everyone is different, do what is right for you, only you know how you truly feel.

I had two horses this time last year, my oldie who is retired and my 14.2hh who i used to jump.

My 14.2hh started with intermittent lameness, and call me a pessimist, but i knew in my gut it was over for him. We did the lameness work ups, the injections etc., but he still remained lame, in the meantime before the lameness work up & failed injections, i met the most beautiful filly ever, she stole my heart, and i just knew i had to have her (considering i don't do mares :rolleyes:) i wresteld with the can i afford three horses, financially and time wise, however, my 14.2hh was offered a place with the breeder of the filly (also a family friend) to go on grass livery for a holiday, he knew probably as i did in my heart that we needed to let him go, what he did for me was the kindest thing ever, my beautiful boy went away on October 27th for a holiday and the filly came to me.

My boy was PTS on 29th November, but having the filly and my oldie to look after made it easier for me, I had to carry on for them, especially with the awful winter we had, im not sure if could have gone horse hunting once my boy had gone, plus my oldie would have pined.

Like i said its personal choice, and only you know what is right for you, don't let others tell you what they think you should do.
 
It was about 2 years for me... I lost my horse Cindy in a traffic accident, and decided to give horses a break for a while, then my (now) ex's, daughter bought a horse and we went to see it... and that was it, all my horsey feelings returned, it made me realise I wanted another,

decided I wanted an Appaloosa, and the hunt began, went to a stud ''just to look' and ended up buying a 5 month old foal!!...

Still have her and shes 15 now, and I also have her son..

Im so glad I didnt rush out and buy one as soon as Cindy died, I think I would of compared them, but we are all different, you will know when its the right time for another

x
 
Something between 7 years and 18 months, if you either take the date my boy who was my new pony died (2006) or when my old lady died at 35 (2011). However, I went away to university in 2006, am now doing a PhD, didn't think I had the time for one, had to clear overdraft and then save up...

He's arriving today, and it's been a long wait!
 
I lost Pinto on 02 March this year. My new girl moved in yesterday.

My emotions have been up and down; on one hand very excited to get my new girlie, and also guilty for being excited.

Tatty will never replace Pinto, but she is filling the gap in my life, and also fuelling my passion for Mérens, of which I now have 2 :D
 
I was very lucky to still be left with baby coblet after losing big lad in January this year. If I hadn't have had him to carry on with, I honestly would have walked away from horses from that day on. My words were on the day, when a couple of friends down my farm offered to do Sparks for me that day/next day 'Thankyou but he is the only thing going to keep me from quitting horses, if I don't have him to do, I have nothing.'

So luckily I had him to keep me 'sane' He's been and still is my therapy, as he pined terribly from big lads loss also.

In March, around 2 months after, I was offered a previous mare off a good friend which after some thought, accepted. I am still waiting to get her - she's about 5 hours away and I'm just waiting for space at my yard to house her!
 
It was 3 weeks. We weren't actively looking but the right horse came along and we would have kicked ourselves for turning him down
 
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