Llanali
Well-Known Member
Blurgh- at least it was "daddy" not "mummmyyyy"...
Those of you with horses and small children....
- Thread starter HammieHamlet
- Start date
HammieHamlet
Well-Known Member
thanks for all the responses - it's really interesting to see how you manage it and confirms that I am in a very fortunate position at the moment having so much support around me being able to ride every day.
Difficulty is that husband does have a stressful job and wants to be able to get back each night (rather than spend 1.5hrs/ 2 hrs stuck around the M25) to see his son so I feel guilty refusing to move somewhere else because of the horses basically.... but then again, his job does also mean that he's away a lot so 50 % of the week it doesn't apply....
Perhaps an au pair would be a serious option, coupled with a flexible DIY livery.....lets see.
Difficulty is that husband does have a stressful job and wants to be able to get back each night (rather than spend 1.5hrs/ 2 hrs stuck around the M25) to see his son so I feel guilty refusing to move somewhere else because of the horses basically.... but then again, his job does also mean that he's away a lot so 50 % of the week it doesn't apply....
Perhaps an au pair would be a serious option, coupled with a flexible DIY livery.....lets see.
AliceCrail
Well-Known Member
Any chance you could move somewhere with land? I know it's not a possibility for many people (i dream of owning my own land!) But it could be a good way of it working for both you and your husband.
Julia0803
Well-Known Member
Just be very careful with looking for an aupair.
My background is in nannying, I have worked in a nanny agency and also had an aupair in recent years. Our AP was lovely and amazing and an absolute godsend.
However, really AP's aren't generally left in charge of children under 3 as many are young girls away from home for the first time to experience life in the uk and quite often have limited childcare experience.
We were very lucky in that our AP was older at 22 and actually a qualified teacher, but I remember her being quite shocked at the behaviour of some of the AP friends she met here in relation to their care.
I think you need to be so incredibly careful when choosing someone. I would definitely say try and choose someone a little older, who has lived away from home before, who has worked with children before.
I don't mean to sound all doom and gloom, just need to be careful. I think a good AP/family match makes for a great relationship. Our AP left last June. She is now working in a British school and comes to visit every few months, and we went to spain last summer to stay with her for a week. She is a really nice girl and made our lives (inc my time with the horses) a million times easier.
My background is in nannying, I have worked in a nanny agency and also had an aupair in recent years. Our AP was lovely and amazing and an absolute godsend.
However, really AP's aren't generally left in charge of children under 3 as many are young girls away from home for the first time to experience life in the uk and quite often have limited childcare experience.
We were very lucky in that our AP was older at 22 and actually a qualified teacher, but I remember her being quite shocked at the behaviour of some of the AP friends she met here in relation to their care.
I think you need to be so incredibly careful when choosing someone. I would definitely say try and choose someone a little older, who has lived away from home before, who has worked with children before.
I don't mean to sound all doom and gloom, just need to be careful. I think a good AP/family match makes for a great relationship. Our AP left last June. She is now working in a British school and comes to visit every few months, and we went to spain last summer to stay with her for a week. She is a really nice girl and made our lives (inc my time with the horses) a million times easier.
Lynsey&Smartie
Well-Known Member
I can't ride unless I have either my OH or my mum, dad or one of my sisters to look after my little boy. I have always managed with bringing in/turning out and yard jobs by timing to to coincide with his sleeps and either leaving him in his pram asleep whilst I bring in or asleep in the car or doing it mega early before OH leaves for work (I have my horses at home so it is easier) or on odd occasions before he got too heavy by using a back carrier whilst I did it but I have never managed to ride unless I have childcare.
He is now 20 months and I ride at least one and usually two horses daily as I have worked out a routine that works for me and I make sure it happens e.g. if my OH is leaving for work at 8am I can get up at 5.30 bring in and then poo pick the field, then ride one horse and get them all fed and turned back out for 8am and now it is light enough ride another in the evening after he is home from work.
My mum is a brilliant though she comes up whenever I need her and also has Teddy at her house two days a week so I can get some work (and riding!) done. I would not have known what to do without her, nothing would persuade me to move away from her!
He is now 20 months and I ride at least one and usually two horses daily as I have worked out a routine that works for me and I make sure it happens e.g. if my OH is leaving for work at 8am I can get up at 5.30 bring in and then poo pick the field, then ride one horse and get them all fed and turned back out for 8am and now it is light enough ride another in the evening after he is home from work.
My mum is a brilliant though she comes up whenever I need her and also has Teddy at her house two days a week so I can get some work (and riding!) done. I would not have known what to do without her, nothing would persuade me to move away from her!
TarrSteps
Well-Known Member
Some people I worked for got a girl who ended up effectively working on the yard, helping me with the young horses for most of her time. She didn't really ride but she was better with horses than kids!
It worked out okay as it did free the wife up to ride a bit more - she could watch the kids etc - but it wasn't quite how everyone envisioned it!
HotToTrot
Well-Known Member
I did a bit without assistance - ish!
When I was on maternity leave, I would ride at the yard without assistance. Vito is on full livery, so i just had to tack up & ride, no jobs. I would go just after lunch, tack up whilst Rosie watched from her pram, then park the pram in the corner of the school with a black-out shade on it, so she would go to sleep. I could lead him and push the pram at the same time, because he is sensible. But, I was fairly prepared to let her scream for a bit, and the school was always empty at that time of day. I wouldn't have tried to ride early evening, for example, when there were tonnes of other people who may have been disturbed by it. I had a bit of an arsenal of weapons to make her sleep; bottle, rocking,and eventually letting her scream!
I went to a couple of BS shows where the secretary had offered to babysit, and I could do all the loading up and getting ready without assistance. However, absent a willing secretary, I would not have tried to compete on my own! For that, I roped (and still rope) in husband, friends and my dad.
I reckon schooling in an arena on your own is possible, hacking and competing are not!
When I was on maternity leave, I would ride at the yard without assistance. Vito is on full livery, so i just had to tack up & ride, no jobs. I would go just after lunch, tack up whilst Rosie watched from her pram, then park the pram in the corner of the school with a black-out shade on it, so she would go to sleep. I could lead him and push the pram at the same time, because he is sensible. But, I was fairly prepared to let her scream for a bit, and the school was always empty at that time of day. I wouldn't have tried to ride early evening, for example, when there were tonnes of other people who may have been disturbed by it. I had a bit of an arsenal of weapons to make her sleep; bottle, rocking,and eventually letting her scream!
I went to a couple of BS shows where the secretary had offered to babysit, and I could do all the loading up and getting ready without assistance. However, absent a willing secretary, I would not have tried to compete on my own! For that, I roped (and still rope) in husband, friends and my dad.
I reckon schooling in an arena on your own is possible, hacking and competing are not!
Llanali
Well-Known Member
I think you and I have done the same amount if going it alone HTT, though you compete at a higher level than me these days, and I am on full DIY, but the basics for us sound similar.
showpony
Well-Known Member
I've two under 7.. 7 yo not a problem as has her own pony. Youngest is nearly 4 and a hand full but happy to watch Shaun the sheep on youtube while I have my lessons... I will admit bribery is key lol... We have been without an au pair for a year now and now are on the hunt for an au pair/rider who will have option to ride and compete either of my horses alongside taking my mini on hacks out and helping with youngest.