Those who own but didn't grow up with horses

[TheOldTrout]

Me. My family weren't at all horsy, I had lessons at riding schools for years. I would still be having lessons at one now, probably, only the one I was having lessons at was taken over by people who didn't want my favourite pony. So you can imagine what happened... my favourite pony is now my own pony, at livery at another riding school. It really is a worry having one when you don't have the background to know how to look after them well. Luckily the other liveries and YO are really helpful and supportive.

 

[paddy555]

I think that times have changed, it certainly seems like it was easier to volunteer and gain experience that way in the past. For now I'm just going to keep reading as many books as I can. I've always felt disadvantaged by having no horsey family members though, I'm sure that lots of people learn the essentials when they are raised by a horsey mum/dad. You guys give me hope that it isn't impossible!

My parents were non horsey and my dad hated them, or probably hated the idea that I might become besotted with them. Sent me for music lessons. Sadly for him that didn't work as an alternative. I could have told him.

My parents never paid for lessons. If I wanted it I had to pay myself. My gran gave me pocket money when we went on holiday and I went to the RS there for a couple of rides on a lead rein. When I was 13 I got a Sat. job and saved everything for a ride or holiday with horses. Did odd jobs before then etc to pay for any riding. When I went to grammar school I had to have school dinners as too far to come home. That solved my weekly ride problem. The week's dinner money was exactly the cost of an hours ride. Problem solved.

Got a holiday job taking rides out, did the same the next year and boyfriend and I between us bought my first horse. I knew everything about the horse and riding him as I had ridden him for weeks daily. He went first or last, jumped, herded horses and cattle. So no nasty surprises on the riding or the horse's ability. I also knew all his problems which were a fair few.

I didn't know much about looking after my own horse but just got on with it and learnt as I went along. I think that's how you really learn. Got another horse, learnt more, then another and so it went on. `Now over 20 horses later still learning.

Many people have a human baby, have no experience and some have barely held one before. They learn as they go along, read books, look things up, ask the health visitor etc I don't think having your own horse for the first time is much different.

 

[bonnysmum]

Many people have a human baby, have no experience and some have barely held one before. They learn as they go along, read books, look things up, ask the health visitor etc I don't think having your own horse for the first time is much different.

Totally agree, but there is an awful lot of judging - or at least it can feel like it. So many people (in the horse world) were fortunate enough to grow up with horses and are passing that onto their kids, and I think they forget or probably don't realise what it's like for kids or adults who have had no such chances. But OP, my daughter and I are managing it just fine (touch wood) with advice from friends and instructors. I'm sure some riding schools will encourage adults to do things like BHS Stage 1 in Stable Management - I know ours does, although I can't justify the cost at the moment while I'm paying for my daughter's riding lessons.

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

Deeply unhorsey family, despite my obvious desperate desire for one. I first had a lesson when I lost a whole ton of weight aged 36, went onto share then full loan with a BD mate, who was very supportive. I volunteered at a yard which basically taught me how not to look after a horse! I then bought my own after my loan Holstein had an accident in the field. Never looked back.

 

[YorkshireLady]

Another non horsey background here as well. Rode a few times when younger 5 plus...then aged 9 my Mum gave in and bought be a set of 6 riding lessons with a lovely local lady who then taught me till I was 18 on hers then my ponies and horses. It was supposed to be 6 lessons then stop....ha ha ha ha. My aunt bought by first pony when I was 11 and then I got a 14.2 then a 16h. The instructor taught me everything on how to keep horses as though I was doing BHS prep or similar and everytime I'm at a competition even now I think of her.

Neither of my parents are horsey etc though my dad loves following racing and they were both SJ fans. My Grandad grew up on a farm and I was very lucky he mucked out and turned ponies out on school days. I had whole family come to local shows as well though Dad hated watching XC. I always say I was lucky, they bought a landy and trailer on a re mortgage ( crazy fools) but were very pleased at 16/17 when I loaned horses till went to Uni. At Uni I rode on teams and trained weekly and as an adult loaned horses till I bought one at 28 and then have owned ever since.

I read EVERY book I could...watched videos...watched comps everything I could and was lucky at the yards which were adult yards really that they took me with them to demos etc and I got to tag along with my pal for B test training though I wasnt in PC. wouldn't happen now!

We used to hack all day sunday like 930 till 330 with sandwiches in our pockets and money for the chip shop! Jumping logs stone walls all sorts. Best time and also lifelong friends and I keep meeting fantastic people through horses still now! I still love learning.

the freedom riding a horse in open countryside is just the best! Training a horse yourself...just wonderful/ Love all the experiences with horses and I love that my non horsey parents even now ( and I am about to be 45) book an overnight stay to come support at bigger shows...

I am just waffling now.....

 

[sport horse]

Very unhorsy family but was allowed one lesson a week from age 10. Spent hours at riding stables 'helping'. Lucky me at age 16 father gave in and bought me a horse. 15hh arabxtb 8 years old had hunted. Joined pony club, went to rallys, went to all local shows/gymkhanas etc. Read every book I could get my hands on, went to every lecture I could get to. Joined local Riding Club, went to every talk/instruction etc. Took and passed all my pony club tests including A test, did all pony club and riding club teams, went BS jumping and qualified for HOYS Foxhunter final at Wembley (parents were so disinterested they did not even come to watch!). Still have show jumpers although they are ridden for me these days and I breed show jumpers. I think I am quite knowledgeable thanks to all those people

 

[ihatework]

Completely non-horsey (and mostly non-animal) family here! Born in London. Got a riding lesson for my 6th birthday and parents begrudgingly kept them up. Through my later teens I worked/begged/stealed/borrowed just to ride.
Went to Uni, ended up captaining the BUSA team then in my 3rd year blew my student loan on buying my first horse ?
Haven’t really looked back!
Now there are 4 1/2 on the bank roll, whoops

 

[Chianti]

I didn't sit on a horse until I was 21. I was petrified of them as a child as my family had no involvement with horses. I had riding school lessons for a few years and then found, what was meant to be a Sunday share, by my old riding instructor. The owner managed things very carefully and before I knew it I'd got the horse full time. I knew nothing but she was great and trained me up very well. This was pre internet days so I also bought horsey magazines every month- Your Horse, Horse and Rider, Horse and Hound. Other liveries are usually happy to answer questions - just don't always believe what they tell you!

 

[I'm Dun]

My parents werent horsey but my family is, my grandmas brother was a master of hounds and was tragically killed getting hounds off a railway line when out hunting one day. Other members of the family have been racehorse trainers. Apparently, I began asking for horse as soon as I could talk. It took till I was 11 to get my own though.

 

[Pippity]

I have to admit to being amused by the people who are, "I didn't have a horsey childhood. My parents bought me a pony when I was thirteen."

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

I too have pics on a seaside donkey at Brid. Could have been the same donkey.

then I moved onto the donkeys at Roundhay Park at Leeds. Lots of them Did you miss out on those?

Yes, I did!
Although we had relatives in Leeds and went to see them reasonably frequently, I don't remember going to Roundhay Park until I was an adult, taking school trips to the Tropical House (no donkeys there).
I do, however, remember having to 'stand in the middle of the road' to get on a Leeds tram with my grandmother when she went to visit her sister-in-law, taking 4 yr old me and currant teacakes with her for lunch while Mum was pregnant with my sister. She certainly wouldn't have taken me to ride, she was very wary of equines at close quarters, although she must have grown up with them as commonplace around the streets of Doncaster. When sis and I got our first horse we often rode past my grandparents' house and she would always bring him an apple but made sure to stand at the top of the steps to give it to him.

 

[Peglo]

I have to admit to being amused by the people who are, "I didn't have a horsey childhood. My parents bought me a pony when I was thirteen."

I think the op’s other question was non horsey parents… and how people coped with their first horse without guidance if their folks had no knowledge.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

I think the op’s other question was non horsey parents… and how people coped with their first horse without guidance if their folks had no knowledge.

I agree with Paddy555, you just get on with it and if you have a suitable first horse/pony, they help you along. My parents bought me and my sister our 1st horse to share, we had both been riding for about 7 years by then, at RS and on friends' ponies. We had always had pets at home and Dad made sure that he read up on how to look after a horse properly - he felt that if he was buying the horse, it was ultimately his responsibility. He also did quite a lot of the heavy work involved, taking water to the field etc. But we all learned most from the horse, he knew his job inside out, having been in a professional home and was extremely well-mannered (most of the time).

 

[Peglo]

I agree with Paddy555, you just get on with it and if you have a suitable first horse/pony, they help you along. My parents bought me and my sister our 1st horse to share, we had both been riding for about 7 years by then, at RS and on friends' ponies. We had always had pets at home and Dad made sure that he read up on how to look after a horse properly - he felt that if he was buying the horse, it was ultimately his responsibility. He also did quite a lot of the heavy work involved, taking water to the field etc. But we all learned most from the horse, he knew his job inside out, having been in a professional home and was extremely well-mannered (most of the time).

Yeah that was much my experience too. My granny was a farmer so had a knowledge how to look after animals and I’d helped at a trekking centre before I got my first so knew the basics. (I got her from the trekking centre when it sadly shut down) she was a saint of a pony and she taught me more than anything else could have.

she was less of a saint last night mind you when, for the first time ever, she put all her strength through her neck into the head collar and aged 30 managed to get away from me. First time any of mine has ever pulled free ? she’s gotten disobedient in her old age.

 

[scats]

I have to admit to being amused by the people who are, "I didn't have a horsey childhood. My parents bought me a pony when I was thirteen."

Haha yes. I’m from a completely non-horsey family, but my parents were so supportive and bought me my first pony when I was a child. They sort of dived into the horse thing with me, supported me at shows, came to watch me ride, did a bit of mucking out.
So although I was from a non-horsey background, I was exceptionally fortunate.

They are still my number one supporters and come to watch me compete or have lessons. I’ve been supported through every decision with the horses and they have, without doubt, moulded their lives around my hobby. I am so grateful to them and I still class them as my two best mates in the whole world.

 

[buddylove]

I was also obsessed from a very early age. My father was a dairy farmer and our German neighbours had driving ponies, so if they were turned out in a neighbouring field I would race across and sit by the fence hoping they would come over for a fuss. My older sister had a couple of unsuitable ponies which further convinced my parents that it wasn't a suitable hobby, so despite having the land to keep my own pony, I was always told no.
Every year my Christmas list detailed the pony I wanted, and every year I would get up and race to my brothers bedroom window which overlooked the back garden and paddocks in case the pony was there, which it never was.
When I was about 11/12 my parents relented slightly and bought me a course of riding lessons for Christmas, I was elated, riding in the Staffordshire moorlands in the dead of winter was grim, but I didn't care! I bought Your Horse magazine religiously, and read it from cover to cover.
Sadly the lessons did not continue (because surely you can ride now), and I was back to square one. At 13 I got my first job washing pots, and decided with my financial independence (?) I was getting a pony on loan, and my parents weren't stopping me! So the first pony ended up being 16hh TBx that knew every trick in the book, and was a little monster, but I knew if I admitted defeat that was my one chance gone. So I persevered and he was a fab horse. I have had a few since then, but really my riding is not as good as it could have been, and has now taken a backseat whilst my own children go through ponies and Pony Club as I strive to give them the experience that I never had.
I still read incessantly and find I am generally a better rider from the ground, so I can support the kids with their ponies as well as help them with their stable management and care, so hopefully they will be much better equipped that I ever was.

 

[Sealine]

My parents are non horsey and Mum used to drag me to ballet I have my old neighbour to thank for having lessons from 5yrs old in the early 70's. She had ridden as a child and was taking her girls and offered to take me along too. I was immediately hooked. At 9 years old I used to do 'duty weekend' with one of the older girls who were about 12/13 years old. The two of us would arrive at the stables after school on Friday and leave on Sunday evening. We stayed in the house but took and cooked our own food. We did all the mucking out, bringing in, turning out, grooming, tacking up and had to clean all the tack on Saturday evening. For all this we got a half price hack on the Friday evening!

Moved to a very different yard at the age of 12. It was partly a riding school but the owner was also a breeder, dealer and show-jumper. The yard was rough and ready but I learnt a huge amount here over the years by osmosis. The owner would pick me up from school/home and take me home in the evening. I used to do all stables duties, exercising, escort rides, handle and help with the youngsters including backing, help with covering mares, get on horses bought from Southall market earlier in the day, go to shows as groom for up 6 show jumpers etc etc. Never got paid a penny but never paid for riding either. I worked extremely hard and was frequently heartbroken when a horse I'd got attached to was sold on. This continued until I was about 18 and, as an adult, I would still go there on Sundays and hack and help out a bit. I eventually brought my first horse from the owner when I was about 34. It was a young horse she'd bred and I'd already broken.

I've always been an avid reader and from childhood have read anything I can get my hands on that is horse related as there is always more to learn about horses.

 

[sunnyone]

No horses or even pets for me or my OH as a child. We both went into Higher Education in 1968-69 where it was obligatory to spend 1 afternoon a week on sports. Most lads did football, some at my uni were even coached by Jack Charlton. I chose horse riding at 50p a term! It was the only non-ball sport on offer and as my eyes don't line things up properly a no brainer for me. OH did similar but 150 miles away. I enjoyed it enough to choose to do extra work for rides and travel back on the bus later than the rest of the group.
When I left I moved areas so went to a couple of riding schools where I soon helped out. In the end I got fed up paying to educate newly broken horses and bought my own unbroken 2 year old which I went on to break for myself. She became a lovely ride but intolerant of novices, She immediately accepted my OH though so when we started to live together he got his first horse too.

 

[Annagain]

My family aren't horsey as such but horses always seem to feature as a theme throughout both my mum and dad's family history.

Mum had a pony when she was a teenager but he got sold when she had exams at 16 and she's barely sat on another horse since. I think it was just a case of what kids did in semi-rural Wales in the 60s rather than my mum being particularly horsey. Plus my grandmother is a bit of a snob and probably loved the idea of having a daughter with a pony. My grandparents had a field next to the house where the pony lived and after he was sold, they rented it out. They'd keep an eye on the horses in there and look after them when the owner was on holiday. I remember helping them when I was a kid but it was no more than giving them a sugarlump (it was acceptable in the 80s) and checking them over.

Mum's dad was forced to leave school at 14 to help fund his older brother going to Oxford (he won a scholarship but it wasn't enough for him to live on) and got a job as a butcher's delivery boy. His job was to hold the horse while the butcher went in to certain premises to deliver his meat (pun intended, ych-y-fi). As soon as he could he left that job (and the horse) and became an apprentice electrician.

My dad's dad grew up on a sheep farm. They used ponies to round up the sheep but he never did anything else with them and when he went down the mines at 17 his involvement with horses stopped. He was next in line to work with the pit ponies (apparently it was a job that people were selected to do by those currently doing the job and he was waiting for one of the older ones to retire but he hated the mines so much he got a job as an apprentice carpenter after two years. He eventually worked his way up to site manager for a very large construction company. He died when I was 12 so I never really had a conversation with him about them but other family have since told me he had a natural affinity for all animals but horses in particular and being selected to be the next pit pony person in the mine was evidence of that. He was a meat eater but never ate lamb due to growing up with them. Seeing as the boys live on a sheep farm and I still eat lamb, he was obviously a much more empathetic person than me!

I only started riding (at 9 years old) because my sister wanted to and her lesson was on a Saturday afternoon when my dad was playing rugby. Mum said I'd have to go with them so I could either join in or stand and watch so I joined in. My sister gave up after two years but 34 years later I'm still going strong. I was lucky to be offered a pony to ride locally when I was 12 - he belonged to a friend of my instructor. I rode him for a year then moved on to her section D. I ended up 'buying' him for £5 when I was 17 (it's a very long story) and we were both 27 when I lost him. I then properly bought my first horse and he's still with me, along with new boy Charlie.

 

[Chappie]

Another one from a non-horsey background here! I have some ancestors who had farms/worked on farms, so there may be a distant connection somewhere. I'm the most animal-mad of all the family, and vaguely recall my first pony ride at a beach, this would of been the late 70s, I would of been about 4 years old maybe, I do remember it was a small dark Shetland!

My family didn't have much money growing up, and we also lived in a remote area of the UK, so no riding schools nearby. I was lucky enough to occasionally go trekking while on holiday - the best hour of the whole trip for me!

I was obsessed with several picture books about horses I had, in fact I still have them now! By the time I was a teen, I had managed to get a small collection of fact books and novels such as Jinny, Jill and the Pullien-Thompson books - I stupidly told my mum to give them away when I moved out of home at 18 - fortunately I have managed to rebuild and greatly further my collection, as I absolutely LOVE reading those books! I also now have a ridiculously large amount of fact books, of which I now have very little time to read! and also have Your Horse and Horse and Rider on subscription - I could never afford those when I was young and I only had a couple of treasured copies that where all worn to bits. I love watching equestrian videos on Youtube too, there just isn't enough hours in the day to take it all in. I used to avidly read the forum when I was commuting, years and years of posts, I've learned so much from here, I don't have so much time now as I work crazy hours from home but do try and keep up to date with new information in general.

When I was 12, my best friend at school was bought a 13hh pony by her dad - they lived in a rural cottage with a very large garden, and he was in there with a shelter, some sheep and two geese, which were rather terrifying when I went to visit. I only could visit once a month, as we were in a gang of best friends, and one visited each weekend! My friend gave me my first pair of jods, which had the suede knee patches and "wings" in the legs. I recall the first time she left me alone with the pony (she popped into the house to get something) the pony promptly stood on my foot and refused to move! We basically knew all we knew from books, and she had two older girls from a nearby house, who WERE a horsey family! So they taught her all she needed to know and kept her right. We just went for little hacks on the nearby lanes and moorland.

When we joined high school, I met another horsey gal, she was in Pony Club with a 13.2hh and I sometimes went to the farm where he was kept with some sheep - I once went with her to a rally, wow, that was amazing, she had a 3.5 tonne lorry, I was living the dream! But she gave up by 14, and I never knew what happened to the two ponies, a shame. The 13hh was kept as a pet till my friend left home at 18; we had drifted apart by then anyway.

A riding school opened in the area when I was 14, but I couldn't afford to go and I didn't get a job till I was 16 and had to work weekends and evenings, there was no time. I was keen on music and art and that filled up my time. Then focused on trying to get into colleges and pursue a career, moved to various cities to gain qualifications.

When I was 25 I ended up back in my home town for a while, after a difficult time in my personal life, and my mum very kindly bought me jods and boots for my birthday and some lessons at the riding school. I was in a out-of-uni-starter job on £8k a year so still no car; she used to take me out to the stables on a Sunday morning, so I feel very lucky to have her support.

I took on a part-time job on top of a full-time to try to get more money together so the lessons sadly came to an end, then a few months later I moved to a city as I got my first "proper" career job. I hoped to continue riding but there were no schools nearby and I worked the "difficult" shifts so time was an issue - all my time was taken up with that and I had relationships I focused on.

In my early 30s, after a bad break-up and reaching the end-of-the line at a particular job, I moved cities again due to a speculative job application and after a year or so in the new role, decided I was going to do something for ME! No more running about after men! So I found a nearby riding school, which had emphasis on hacking, and when a property came up for rent in the nearby village, moved there.

I've been a volunteer at the yard for 15 years and seven years ago was offered a loan - I now loan two horses there. I also had a loan at a nearby yard for a year. It hasn't been all hearts and flowers; sometimes I think, be careful what you wish for - but it's my life for now, and I feel like I'm finally LIVING, instead of WAITING to live, which is how I felt when I was a student for 6 years, and in low-paid jobs, and not able to access opportunities. I feel a bit sad I was never involved when I was younger and fitter/bounced!, I think it would have made me a better all-round person if I had, but it just wasn't meant to be.

I don't particularly like being on a livery yard and some people in the equestrian scene I find extremely challenging to deal with, mainly from an animal welfare perspective, but I've got myself to a stage now, through sheer determination and hard work and being open to learning and pursuing a great deal of self-learning, where I can be safe and comfortable to deal with the horses alone, so pretty much keep myself to myself, and be supportive and helpful if someone requires me to be. I don't know what the future holds but hope I can always be involved with horses in some way, as to me, it's the best way to live!
Must go to the yard now, it's pitch dark and raining heavily, but they are waiting for me!