Those with kids!!

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bumblelion

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Just wondering how you fit in the time to ride? I have my two horses at home and you'd think it would be easy! For the past 10 months since I gave birth, riding has gone to the back of the queue!! I cope with everything else, looking after horses, field maintenence, gardening, housework, looking after baby and dogs etc. I do everything by myself as my non horsey partner works long hours and tends to get home late at night and I have no family nearby!

I'm now needing to get riding again, for my own sanity and also the horses are beginning to get fed up and bolshy and need work!! I'm actually suprised my exracer tb has survived this long as a field ornament!! I have a menage so can ride here at home. My daughter (10 months) is at that testing age where whenever I leave her she just screams the place down! She's mastered crawling and cruising, so hates it when I strap her into her pushchair or put her in her travel cot!! Although sometimes she has to lump it as I have to get on!!!

I have two options, I either ride after her lunch and then put her in her travel cot and hope she has her usual nap or ride about 8pm once she's gone to bed, hoping she's gone off okay and can leave her alone in the house, whilst I'm out!! So basically I'm wondering what do you do to entertain your LO and when do you get to ride?
 
i certainly wouldnt leave my child in the cot whilst im not in the house, even if close by. What if they were sick and started choking or something. I know that sounds horrible but these things can happen. I have a 22 month old and we have a roundpen in the field, i ride right next to the roundpen and my son goes in there with some toys, he keeps himself happy for half an hour and i know he is safe. its difficult when you have kids, especially when they become mobile!! I tend to ride in the evenings or on nice days put my son in the pen with toys, but if its bad weather or really hot, i wont ride as there is no cover on the pen!!
 
I have 4 kids age ranging from 12 - 2. I understand how hard it is!!!

I strap my littlest in the pushchair when i ride or wait until my husband has got back from work. Theres no easy way around it until they get to playgroup/school age!!

I wouldnt leave your little one in the house alone even if they are asleep, i'd be worried something would happen.

Do you have any friends close by that would mind sitting with your kids for an hour or so...or do you have funds for a nursery? My littlest is going to nursery in september, they take children from 2 yrs old. her sessions are £6.50 and are for 2 1/2 hours. Private nurserys take children from 6 weeks old but are a lot more expensive!!!
 
I wouldn't leave her in the house alone for such a long time, it was just me stating that it's the only time I'v not got her strapped to me, I should've phrased it differently! My partner doesn't get home until about 10pm each night so I can't ride in the evening, as it's tea and bath time so the daytime is the only opportunity after her lunch really! I have no friends either (quite new to the area) and don't get me wrong I'm not a loner and get on well with people but have no one I can really turn to for such help!

I have thought about nursery, there's one about 8 miles away and they charge £20 ish for a morning or afternoon or £36 for the day. I have thought about doing this once or twice a week, although if she was in daily it would cost quite a lot. Thanks for your advice
 
Lots of my friends (who don't ride but do do other things), have joined local groups and once they have made friends with other mums, swap childcare - so if one person's 'thing' is going to the gym, and the other's is riding, the riding mum has the kids say on Monday, the other goes to the gym, then they swap another day...
 
SpottedCat said:
Lots of my friends (who don't ride but do do other things), have joined local groups and once they have made friends with other mums, swap childcare - so if one person's 'thing' is going to the gym, and the other's is riding, the riding mum has the kids say on Monday, the other goes to the gym, then they swap another day...
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thats a good idea:) I was lucky that my kids were older by the time i got my own horses but even so it can still be a bit of a juggling act to fit everything in, i do admit that i let poo picking take a back seat sometimes in favour of riding:o
 
To be honest I think your best bet is nursery. After my accident last year when my son was being watched by another lady at the yard who didn't really know us that well (luckily I was riding with a friend he knew well) I won't ride while my son is with me unless one of my very good friends is there specifically to look after him. I certainly wouldn't ride if I was on my own with him especially if the only person likely to find us wouldn't be home until 10 pm! what would happen if you had a fall and got knocked out or were really badly injured? Its just not worth the risk in my opinion.
 
When mine was small I kept an old (but solid) large coachbuilt pram at the yard.
Very visible for the ponies etc in the yard & not easy to tip or knock over - high enough up to stop the dogs from being a nuisance too. (check out jumble sales!)
This was used to plonk her in - progressing to having a harness on when geting more agile.

I'd tack up & school round the pram in the field or if weather bad, parked her at the front of a field shelter in the doorway. (having removed field animals 1st tho!)
All sots of schooling was done to the happy/grumpy/vocally screaming child! :D (and occasionally sleeping!)

Progressed onto playmat (or more often a spread out rug) on the floor with a harness on her - sometimes tied by a lungeline to a post when she was really getting mobile :o

I was a dreadful parent....:o :D

Edited to add: Just read your post above - worth trying to find out if there is a parent & toddler group or similar locally - just to meet other parents - your doctors surgery ought to be able to help out on info - also try the church too (yes, you might not be 'churchy' but they DO have lots of info on various groups)
 
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okey you fell like you are juggling at mo but hang in there hun as it will get easier - as people have said friends. playgroup, nursery but please please hang in there - try some ground work lunging long reining where maybe you can have baby in pushchair where can see- ok you want to ride but soak up the baby years as they go so quick and you can always ride in future - just hang in there hun xxxx
 
The Fuzzy Furry said:
When mine was small I kept an old (but solid) large coachbuilt pram at the yard.
Very visible for the ponies etc in the yard & not easy to tip or knock over - high enough up to stop the dogs from being a nuisance too. (check out jumble sales!)
This was used to plonk her in - progressing to having a harness on when geting more agile.

I'd tack up & school round the pram in the field or if weather bad, parked her at the front of a field shelter in the doorway. (having removed field animals 1st tho!)
All sots of schooling was done to the happy/grumpy/vocally screaming child! :D (and occasionally sleeping!)

Progressed onto playmat (or more often a spread out rug) on the floor with a harness on her - sometimes tied by a lungeline to a post when she was really getting mobile :o

I was a dreadful parent....:o :D

Edited to add: Just read your post above - worth trying to find out if there is a parent & toddler group or similar locally - just to meet other parents - your doctors surgery ought to be able to help out on info - also try the church too (yes, you might not be 'churchy' but they DO have lots of info on various groups)
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This did make me laugh!! Especially the schooling around pram bit!!! Thanks for your advice, I think I need to get out more!!! :)
 
Can you get a baby monitor to work on the yard and in your menage/field? I don't see why you cannot get that to work. No different to you doing the gardening while baby is sleeping!
 
babymare said:
okey you fell like you are juggling at mo but hang in there hun as it will get easier - as people have said friends. playgroup, nursery but please please hang in there - try some ground work lunging long reining where maybe you can have baby in pushchair where can see- ok you want to ride but soak up the baby years as they go so quick and you can always ride in future - just hang in there hun xxxx
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Thankyou!!! I was starting to feel like a bad mum for wanting to work my horses! I will look into the nursery option. I know once she starts school, things will get easier and I'll have more time for them! The problem is one of my boys is an exracer and once he starts work, that's it, he's in work which is why he's had a year off as I just haven't had the time!
 
BonneMaman said:
Can you get a baby monitor to work on the yard and in your menage/field? I don't see why you cannot get that to work. No different to you doing the gardening while baby is sleeping!
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I have got one, it covers 200m and is a video one too, although reading some previous replies I'm under the impression I shouldn't leave my daughters bedroom all night! :) Although I do! I do take the monitor also. Unfortunately I have to leave the house at times, such as when the bl**dy dogs decide to go for a roam in the fields and not come back for a while, or to check on horses, change rugs etc!
 
I used to strap my daughter to me in one of those carriers and lunge them or long rein if was on my own. Mine wasnt the sort who would sit in a pram either and also agree with the 'if you had an accident' bit :( The pouch thing was invaluable though, we just got on with doing everything together! My little one is coming up for 3 now so goes to pre-school and grandma luckily otherwise I wouldnt get to ride either. Keep going tough and try the ground work with a pouch for those days your stuck on your own but need to do something :)
 
Devonshire dumpling said:
I am sure you can juggle it all :-)

don't ever leave little ones in the house alone, its not an option, what if the house caught fire?
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I do try! It's just fitting the riding in and equissaging my other as he's arthritic! I do understand when people say don't leave the house but it's just not practical for me. The stables are literally 7 metres from the house and the field about 10, I take a video monitor and check on her constantly. It's no difference to me out in the annexe, working in the office (joined to the house, but separate). With the horses at home I like to check on them once she's gone to bed, bit like a livery owner would do on the horses at there place, plus the dogs need sorting.
 
Didnt have my horses when Mini TX was very young, but I can sympathise. However, what about asking some friends around with children of a similar age, every so often.

Our yard would be perfect for you. Its very child/baby/teenager friendly in that we all have them at varying ages and varying abilities. I am sure that our yard would be the 7th level of hell to a lot of other people, but its fab. Everyone looks after and out for each other's children. Everyone accepts that if another child steps out of line and annoys the hell out or you that you can feel free to it tell off without mummy getting uptight about it - in fact we positively encourage it. We all take turns making sure the little ones are fine. It does help that YO has a 7 year old, a 1 year old and is pregnant again, so very kid friendly. Before anyone asks, no, nobody gets annoyed or bothered by it - we are all parents and we just get on with it. Also, the horses are very relaxed around young children as well, and we have never had any issues.

I am sure that things will get easier - they always do.
 
It might be worth checking locally if there are any teenage babysitters, our village has a monthly newsletter with phone numbers on it, would be cheaper than nursery if you can put up with riding after school. You would still be on hand if they had a problem, you just need an extra pair of hands !
 
bumblelion said:
I do try! It's just fitting the riding in and equissaging my other as he's arthritic! I do understand when people say don't leave the house but it's just not practical for me. The stables are literally 7 metres from the house and the field about 10, I take a video monitor and check on her constantly. It's no difference to me out in the annexe, working in the office (joined to the house, but separate). With the horses at home I like to check on them once she's gone to bed, bit like a livery owner would do on the horses at there place, plus the dogs need sorting.
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Hubby is a firefighter, so I am probably totally neurotic from the stuff he goes to!

You have to think about worse case scenerio tho, what if you get knocked out by your horse? Different pottering around, but actual riding is a risky business, and fire takes hold so fast, and its often electrical faults, scares me to death.
your babies are so precious xx
 
Tilda said:
To be honest I think your best bet is nursery. After my accident last year when my son was being watched by another lady at the yard who didn't really know us that well (luckily I was riding with a friend he knew well) I won't ride while my son is with me unless one of my very good friends is there specifically to look after him. I certainly wouldn't ride if I was on my own with him especially if the only person likely to find us wouldn't be home until 10 pm! what would happen if you had a fall and got knocked out or were really badly injured? Its just not worth the risk in my opinion.
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Very true! I do think about having an accident and what if quite a lot but at the end of the day I could have an accident leading them in from the field or whilst in their stables, that's the risk we all take having horses, doesn't necessarily have to be from riding. I know the risk may be increased though. If that was the case and I thought what if everytime I went onto my yard, I'd have to sell the horses, although the only person who'd probably want them would be the meat man and there's no way I'd even go there!!!
 
I'd just like to say thanks for your posts and advice everyone who's posted. I was hoping to get some advice on how you coped and what you did. Thankyou for those who answered my question. I feel I have just been criticised though and in a round about way branded a bad mum, without actually being called this direct! I'm aware that fires can break out but I could also be in my car and have a crash. Life's a risk, no matter what you do. That's life and at the end of the day my daughter and my horses both mean a lot to me, that's why I'm on here!! I have to fit them both in! If I didn't bother with my horses and it was all about the baby, then I'd get slated for that! Maybe I can't win!
 
To be honest, I would not ride an ex racer that has been out of work for 10 months and have a 10 month old baby with no one looking after her apart from you - if you were injured in a fall, then there is no one to take care of your child until your husband comes back home which could be several hours later.

I think you need to develop a cunning plan which involves some help!!!
 
bumblelion said:
I'd just like to say thanks for your posts and advice everyone who's posted. I was hoping to get some advice on how you coped and what you did. Thankyou for those who answered my question. I feel I have just been criticised though and in a round about way branded a bad mum, without actually being called this direct! I'm aware that fires can break out but I could also be in my car and have a crash. Life's a risk, no matter what you do. That's life and at the end of the day my daughter and my horses both mean a lot to me, that's why I'm on here!! I have to fit them both in! If I didn't bother with my horses and it was all about the baby, then I'd get slated for that! Maybe I can't win!
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Thats obviously directed at me! and I did say I am sure you can juggle it! In a friendly manner, what I did say is don't leave your children in a house alone when you are riding its bloody dangerous especially if you got hurt. Its never ever worth it, sorry if this offended you it was not my intention, you can't always juggle everything, but if you want to then get someone to sit with your kids! Not getting into a debate about it, I offered friendly advice you didn't like or agree with what I said so leave it at that, I certainly did not slate you! I ride and have children its doable!
 
Devonshire dumpling said:
Thats obviously directed at me! and I did say I am sure you can juggle it! In a friendly manner, what I did say is don't leave your children in a house alone when you are riding its bloody dangerous especially if you got hurt. Its never ever worth it, sorry if this offended you it was not my intention, you can't always juggle everything, but if you want to then get someone to sit with your kids! Not getting into a debate about it, I offered friendly advice you didn't like or agree with what I said so leave it at that, I certainly did not slate you! I ride and have children its doable!
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It wasn't directed at you alone. I do understand what you are saying although I wasn't looking to be told how to raise my child, more looking for advice on how others ride and have a child, I think there's a difference? I don't want to get into a debate either, I am just sure I'm not the only person who uses a baby monitor at times.
I'm aware that having an exracer who has been out of work won't be an entirely safe ride at first but I know my horse and am aware of the risks involved, that's why I was seeking advice. Many people suggested nursery, so I think that will be my best bet. Sorry if I seemed defensiveand I know you're looking out for my best interests so thankyou and sorry again. I don't like to get peoples backs up!
 
bumblelion said:
It wasn't directed at you alone. I do understand what you are saying although I wasn't looking to be told how to raise my child, more looking for advice on how others ride and have a child, I think there's a difference? I don't want to get into a debate either, I am just sure I'm not the only person who uses a baby monitor at times.
I'm aware that having an exracer who has been out of work won't be an entirely safe ride at first but I know my horse and am aware of the risks involved, that's why I was seeking advice. Many people suggested nursery, so I think that will be my best bet. Sorry if I seemed defensiveand I know you're looking out for my best interests so thankyou and sorry again. I don't like to get peoples backs up!
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not at all and I was by no means suggesting you were a bad mother, the opposite as you are worried about it. Its just often ppl leave their kids in houses and think ahh they won't answer the door etc, will tell them not to answer the phone, and don't even consider them trapped beause of a fire, suppose I was pointing it out rather than telling you how to raise your baby.

Like I said I am probably paranoid due to hubby! XX
 
Devonshire dumpling said:
not at all and I was by no means suggesting you were a bad mother, the opposite as you are worried about it. Its just often ppl leave their kids in houses and think ahh they won't answer the door etc, will tell them not to answer the phone, and don't even consider them trapped beause of a fire, suppose I was pointing it out rather than telling you how to raise your baby.

Like I said I am probably paranoid due to hubby! XX
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TBH with what's going on in London, it's enough to make everyone paranoid now! Thanks for making me more aware at how common electrical fires are though! I am very thorough at turning everything off, but will now be double checking myself!! x
 
bumblelion said:
TBH with what's going on in London, it's enough to make everyone paranoid now! Thanks for making me more aware at how common electrical fires are though! I am very thorough at turning everything off, but will now be double checking myself!! x
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Lol don't get me started on car fires! now they are common and go up in the time it gets you to get yourself out,so never sit looking at the smoke under your bonnet! hehe big hugs!! sorry for the misunderstanding XX
 
Devonshire dumpling said:
Lol don't get me started on car fires! now they are common and go up in the time it gets you to get yourself out,so never sit looking at the smoke under your bonnet! hehe big hugs!! sorry for the misunderstanding XX
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Okay, must remember not to sit looking at the smoke!! Probably ought to check my water/oil levels too then?! Sorry for the misunderstanding too x x
 
Hi,
Yes its hard juggling everything.
When mine were tiny I used to strap them into a pushchair and put them by the school fence so I could see them, as they have got bigger (now 5 and 9) and progressed to letting them sit on the bench bench by the school, with reins on the younger one tied to the bench (Boy, he can move quick!). Now he's grown out of reins, and I have to resort to bribery, food, DS etc. It works, but its not easy. I've had many a jumping lesson when I've just got going to hear "Mummy, I need a poo...".
All of this has been at a busy livery yard, so no worries about being alone. HOWEVER, I'm just about to branch out on my own, so I'm sure I will have to take some of these things in to consideration myself now.

Theres no easy answer, but its not wrong to want to do something for yourself.
Good luck!
 
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