those with moody mares, does it get you down?

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swampdonkey

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How do you with marish mares deal with their grumpiness. Sometimes it really gets me down. I spend a lot of time and money on my horse and get down when you try to spend some nice time with them and they are constantly pulling faces and swishing tails and threatening to bite. I think this is made worse at the minute because I can't ride her so am just spending my time grooming her but I just end up feeling down because she is being a baggage.
 
When my mare has her first season (now!!) for the first week, she is such a miserable cow, I wonder why I bother! I just leave her in the field to her mood, and I know when the hormones are settling down as she will come and see me when I poo-pick, give me a kiss and say shes sorry......! Which happened today....so I know shes over the worst.

I know what you mean though....I just have to leave her to it, and it makes me fed-up too!

Leaving her alone physically for a few days, certainly seemed to work with mine, as I was fighting with her before, and this seemed to prolong the mood.

Drink wine and eat chocolate, always works!
 
We have two at our yard and we just leave them out when in season, why make it hard? To be honest I wouldn't want someone touching me if I felt sensitive and my boobs hurt...

HOwever, I've heard good things about oestress from other mare owners.

Don't feel down hun, it'll be alright soon. Just part of having a mare :) At leats you know it'll improve - unlike having a grumpy gelding!!! :D:D:D
 
My mare hates being groomed and makes terrible faces when you give her food/hay. I just let her get on with it, if she does make contact she gets a sharp reminder. However, I think the miserable faces are all part of being a dominant mare and as she is such a poppet to ride (and I am grateful for her boldness when eventing), I am prepared to live with her grumpiness when being groomed etc. Mine is a tb and is thin skinned, it was her misfortune to be born grey and be a dirt magnet. I do find that she is more tolerent of being hot ragged as opposed to being groomed. When 'strangers' are on the yard (eg farrier etc) she is very 'clingy', and actively looks to me to 'protect' her, which I actually find quite sweet, and almost makes up for the fact that she seems to find me very irritating alot of the time!!
 
My mare, when shes grumpy i think of how far i've come with her and i think of the good moments i have with her and it makes me smile. There are days where i don't want to do anything with her than yesterday for example she was good as gold on a hack and it made me love her even more :) It's just the little things which make me forget the major things she does! :)
 
To be honest I just act as I would if she wasn't in season. I can't ride either at the minute. I don't tend to overly groom though, just mainly give scratches.

I've been doing a lot of groundwork and getting her used to things like fly spray, sun scream and me in general (newish mare to me). Yes she pulls faces but that's it.
 
Jade&Syrah said:
My mare, when shes grumpy i think of how far i've come with her and i think of the good moments i have with her and it makes me smile. There are days where i don't want to do anything with her than yesterday for example she was good as gold on a hack and it made me love her even more :) It's just the little things which make me forget the major things she does! :)
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My thoughts exactly! But I would never have another one lol
 
thank you for your reply's. It helps to know I'm not the only one. It's really not helping the fact that I'm not able to ride for a while so just wanted to keep the bond between us by bringing her in for a groom. She seems to be grumpy all the time though, its not just when she is in season.
If I wanted a horse to compete and she was good at her job then it might be easier to ignore her grumpiness but I love the care side as much as the riding and she makes it so difficult.
 
theres hope for me yet them .. mines 4 end of the month . in a field full of geldings ..
shes a total nightmare . for ever in season . very nasty with it too .
good idea leave her out! ... would be safer .... got her on some oestress but its not in her system yet .
i could cope with the grumpiness but the nastyness i cant ...
:)
ive had her since she was 1 month old i would of thought she would of been lovely obviously i was wrong! never again .
 
Yep mine does get me down, you're not alone! Her first season this year is much much worse than it has been before (in previous years you wouldn't have known she was in season!). I have some herbal stuff ordered to see if it helps and I will have the vet check her hormone levels to check all is well if she doesn't settle. I will just play it by ear and do less while she is a grump.

If your girl isn't enjoying the grooming then why not just leave off for a bit - it isn't bonding if both of you are having a crap time! If someone tried to 'groom' me while I'm on then I would prob bite them too!!

The fact that she costs you mega £ is irrelevant sadly, so long as she gets her food and water then she is happy, the rest is extras! She won't be nice to you because she is expensive and you got her the posh brand name stuff and nothing cheap, sad but true I'm afraid. So long as she trusts and is respectful of you then you have a good relationship. I'm coming round to this with my mare after taking it personally that she was being a witch and playing me up - she doesn't mean it as a personal insult, she is just being a horse, so I just need to get a grip and stop taking it as one!!
 
Yep, which is why when we bought our youngster I was adamant that it was 'geldings only'.
I'd actually forgotten how bad my mare was...she's just had her marble out as she is going to be covered soon, but needs to have one full heat first. Started off trying to ride her..probably did a bit much with her and then she was really foul the next day! I reckon if they are very hormonal it is probably a waste of time trying to ride them, but if it is a competition horse and you have entered a show supplements/Regumate can be a big help.
But think it's still important to handle/gently groom them when they are in season....otherwise my mare gets very preooccupied with her 'herd' and is totally impossible. Also when she stops being at the 'squirting stage' ie at the end of her season I start riding her again quietly.
I do take comfort from the fact that she has been a fabulous competition horse, and that she will hopefully have gorgeous babies :D
 
ThePony said:
The fact that she costs you mega £ is irrelevant sadly, so long as she gets her food and water then she is happy, the rest is extras! She won't be nice to you because she is expensive and you got her the posh brand name stuff and nothing cheap, sad but true I'm afraid. So long as she trusts and is respectful of you then you have a good relationship. I'm coming round to this with my mare after taking it personally that she was being a witch and playing me up - she doesn't mean it as a personal insult, she is just being a horse, so I just need to get a grip and stop taking it as one!!
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I don't mean that she costs me mega £, just that I like most other horse owners go without a lot of things so that my mare can have what she needs, not brand stuff just what she needs. I probably came accross a bit spoilt there, but I had to wait until I was in my 30's to get my 1st own horse and that has meant going without. I don't know what I was trying so say, I know she doesn't care what I have or haven't got. I do just need to stop taking it so personally.
Having this injury at the minute everything seems exagerated and I suppose if I can't ride her or groom her how can I keep the bond and interaction?
 
swampdonkey said:
I don't mean that she costs me mega £, just that I like most other horse owners go without a lot of things so that my mare can have what she needs, not brand stuff just what she needs. I probably came accross a bit spoilt there, but I had to wait until I was in my 30's to get my 1st own horse and that has meant going without. I don't know what I was trying so say, I know she doesn't care what I have or haven't got. I do just need to stop taking it so personally.
Having this injury at the minute everything seems exagerated and I suppose if I can't ride her or groom her how can I keep the bond and interaction?
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Sorry, I didn't mean it in a bad way - my frustrations prob coming across rather! I know I need to remove her bad behaviour from what I hope that I mean to her if I am to remain sane!! If she is a hormonal soul then I would just leave things for a few days, then give her a groom and see how she tollerates it. Is she on box rest or can she take a little exercise? If so then how about just walking her inhand? I did this with my mare when she was off last summer and it really helped our relationship. You could even consider in hand showing so that you don't have to give up everything while waiting for her to get better?
 
the pony, don't worry, think I am probably way to touchy at the moment. Its my injury not her's. So frustrating. Hopefully I'll be able to start lunging her at the end of the week so that will give us something else to think about.
Thank you for replying, at least I know it's not just me.
 
Yeah, my mare gets me down sometimes. Not so much the grumpy marey stuff but the refusal to load on the trailer, that gets me down :(
 
We only have mares. They go out with either sex on a mixed yard no problem but I prefer mares. More intelligent and far kinder generally.

B gets even more lively when she is in season but not dangerous, mean or rude or anything just a little lax with her manners. She does seem confused and stand staring lovingly at girls though so maybe she's not completely straight?

L has never been any different in season, just a bit sticky round the tail and legs but no real behaviour change.

The Shoe gets more dominant in the field and harder to catch, which is frustrating but eased by turning out day and night for some reason.

I is having her first proper season at moment, she is a little spookier but has worked ok and not exhibited any marish behaviour toward me or the other girls who handle her. She has shown a bit more rearing and squealing play in the field than usual though.

L and B both seem to know when I am having a female day and being rubbish and they are very gentle with me. Can you not try the hormone balancer supplements that are available?
 
Google James Hart Solutions and have a look at "Harmony". These products are very good and are new to this country they are from NZ. Certainly worth a try.
 
I think some people just get on better with mares but I'm not one of them. Out of my 7 horses I have 2 geldings who are an absolute pleasure. The mares are moody, hysterical drama queens. Make things worse the 3 I've bred have all been fillies. Praying for a colt this year. In my youth I always had mares as they were cheaper but same story there really, it was only once I pinched my sister's gelding that I made any competitive progress. I wish I could get on with them but I can't.
 
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