Thread #1: People interfering!

*MoodyMare* said:
I appreciate she's trying to help but mum isn't happy that she's going down and i'm too much of a wimp to say otherwise.
Can't get a rope on her, can't even walk near her with the rope or lunge-line, she just bolts. I'd love to know her true past as I think we were lied to on multiple occasions. She strongly dislikes men, whenever my brother or step-dad go to the wall or gate she bolts.

I've tried push/stop but to be honest she's now gotten to the point where she'll just stare at me and refuse to move forward. I'm really confusing myself and probably her with all this.
FO claims to do NH and has offered some advice but everytime I do what she says, Pony just decided she isn't playing ball. Mum has decided i'm not to go see this Lady anymore so i've just had to tell her that I can't go down.

Stable is only a temp one for winter and wasn't up when Pony arrived so unfortunately the only option was to put her in the paddock.
I think i'll just have to carry on as I am and just try to bond with her when she's stabled.
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cant you make a smaller paddock for her basically the same size as a stable?
 
Tarandes Bear said:
Oh dear, what a pickle! Please don't worry, I'm sure things will settle eventually. We are all made differently and react to certain situations differently. You sound like a real sweet person who possibly has not been put into a situation like this before? Maybe this woman is just trying to help, but comes across as a pain in the bum and a busy-body! Yes, you do have to be brave and speak up or else she'll walk all over you. You have to put her in her place and tell her to back off. It's YOUR pony and you are doing things YOUR way. Only a suggestion, would it be better for you not to ride her (loan) horses? This way you would be putting distance between the two of you immediately, and if you're not around her horses you're not like a 'bait' to her. Put a combination lock on the gate as well, this will deter her visiting the pony especially when you're not there. Get your Mum involved and take her with you when you see the pony. If my Daughter was in a position like this I would most certainly get involved and tell the busy-body politely to back off and 'do one'. Let us know how you get on. Good luck :-) X
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Thanks for your reply! :)

Mum is the kind of person who will rant and rant about someone but won't say it to their faces, like the other day when this lady said she would do all this to pony and mum said nothing before ranting after. I have never had my own pony before and stupidly I went with the first one I saw, an unhandled, semi-feral pony. Big mistake and that's before I even started. I should have gone with my head and not my heart. I don't want to give up on her but it's days like this when I really feel like she just doesn't need me or want to be with me and just does her own thing.

I was supposed to go to this lady's today but mum told me to cancel and spend the day with pony. So I did and haven't yet got a reply but she's going to be so angry and I can't even motivate myself to get out and go see her. I just don't know what to do. X
 
I'm going to speak to FO about possibly putting up a field shelter with a gate on it so I can lock her in if I need to. Don't know if she'll agree as she'll be stabled in winter anyway. I think i've just fallen out with this lady anyway now so probably won't have to worry about her again. May just try to sit down with my mum and explain how I feel etc but it usually results in a shouting row.

You're all probably going to tell me to man up and i'm being a wimp but I can't even motivate myself to go and see her. I usually go down and spend a few hours with her but she's so easily bored I never feel like i'm making progress with her and come away disheartened. But today I woke up and haven't being able to stop crying. I'm all dressed and ready but I just missed my bus because I can't drag myself to the pony. :(

Note to self: Do not buy unhandled ponies in the future.
 
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What a predicament. Firstly this woman with the riding horses sounds like an accident waiting to happen, if she's suggesting you corner an unhandled horse to catch it then she doesn't know as much as she thinks. It would jump out of the field or flatten a human. And if you did manage to catch it, unless it's been halter broken then all she's going to do is run off or rear, but she sure as hell ain't going to walk away quietly.If she is halter broken then it might work, but it's still far more likely to end in tears.
Make up some excuse an get the expert out of the way.

A 5yo unhandled horse is a big undertaking for anyone, let alone a novice - they are independent and as you have by now realized won't care if they never see a human again so long as they have food.
The way I see it you now have three realistic options

#1 Beg/steal/borrow a QUIET companion that can be relied upon to let you catch it, and must be quiet of temperament. Lead said companion to stable - your mare (hopefully) will follow her new friend in to the stable. Once she's in the stable (take the other one out) give her a couple of days to settle and then begin to spend lots and lots of time with her. Have her drink water from a bucket that you are holding, eat hayledge that you have in her arms. Bed her on shavings so she cannot eat her bedding. She needs to rely on you for everything. Proceed to pet her and talk to her, once she's lost her fear you can quietly slip a headcollar on, be aware that unless she's had one on she will not like it and will throw herself about when she feels the pressure, you might be lucky, a lot of ferals can lead in a fashion and will tie up, in that case it'll be easier. Don't get kicked, if your in an enclosed space and if she feels threatened a 5YO feral mare will most likely kick, hard with both barrels. Keep yourself between the horse and the door.

#2 If you can't get a companion or the stables away from the field then you need to section an electric paddock off as someone else suggested. Then do the same as above, she will begin to come to when the grass runs out. For safetys sake turn the electric off when you are working with her. The last thing you want is a tangle of you,pony and live electric tape.

#3 Sell her to the local cowboy dealers, they will have it in a trailer and away within hours. Then you can look for something more suitable. She would of course most likely end up at the sales.

Good luck with her in any case, feel free to PM if you want anymore advice. If you live near Notts I could probably help you.
 
So you suggest a companion then? May put an advert up looking for one. She already has a headcollar on but is not handled and this woman did get hold of her the other day and my mare reared up and nearly fell backwards. I do not wish to sell her to a dealer as this will end in disaster. The stables will be about half a mile down the road so it'd be a case of either having her loaded and dropped off or sedated.

This woman will not be coming near my pony again as I've had enough of being bossed around and thinking about it, cornering a wild pony is a stupid idea!!

Sadly nowhere near Notts but I appreciate the offer.
 
A companion would give her confidence to come up to you if it's friendly. If your stabling her anyway then I wouldn't worry too much as she'll come too then. Try to stay positive, these wild ponies are very, very loyal when they eventually come round x
 
lastchancer said:
A companion would give her confidence to come up to you if it's friendly. If your stabling her anyway then I wouldn't worry too much as she'll come too then. Try to stay positive, these wild ponies are very, very loyal when they eventually come round x
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I can imagine! I look forward to how she comes out. I know it'll take a while I think days like today just make me look at the negatives rather than the positives. Someone suggested a fake hand on a stick? May be an idea! X
 
You must get a companion for this pony. Poor thing will be terrified on her own. A nice calm companion will do wonders for her confidence. Horses kept alone have been shown to sleep less, and are always on high alert. They are social animals and keeping them isolated from others is cruel IMO. Obviously you care a lot for her and had no idea this could be an issue.

I am always surprised at how many people think it is okay to just plonk a horse in a field on its own.
 
Wagtail said:
You must get a companion for this pony. Poor thing will be terrified on her own. A nice calm companion will do wonders for her confidence. Horses kept alone have been shown to sleep less, and are always on high alert. They are social animals and keeping them isolated from others is cruel IMO. Obviously you care a lot for her.

I am always surprised at how many people think it is okay to just plonk a horse in a field on its own.
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I will try to find a companion for her, just don't know if I can afford a second as get paid monthly from my new job and haven't even started yet. Which breed would you recommend? Is there any chance that she'd get pally with this new horse and have no interest in me? If you know what I mean. :o
 
A hand on a stick or a duster on a stick is a good idea

One tip about headcollars - if you are going to practice putting them on at some point do this with a new headcollar OVER the one she has on now. I took the headcollar off my boy and it was a nightmare to get it back on again. Things are 100% easier if you have a headcollar to rest your hand on when trying to handle them - mine has a breakaway link in it but appreciate that you are stuck with what you have

My pony did become easier with the introduction of a companion, he sees that things arent so bad and looks to the other pony for reassurance. Before I could lead him properly he would follow the other pony so was easy to get him places such as changing field or in to a stable

You do need to make sure that any companion is easy to handle though!
 
*MoodyMare* said:
I will try to find a companion for her, just don't know if I can afford a second as get paid monthly from my new job and haven't even started yet. Which breed would you recommend? Is there any chance that she'd get pally with this new horse and have no interest in me? If you know what I mean. :o
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You don't need to get anything expensive. A mini Shetland would do. All horses will prefer company of their own kind to people. I once went to photograph and paint the horse of a local woman. She had 6 acres of land, and two stables, but kept her gelding alone. When I asked her why this was, she said 'I know ***** would prefer to have a friend, but I worry that this would spoil the close bond that we have.' I remember thinking 'How utterly selfish!' She cared more about herself and keeping him totally dependent and relying on her than she did about him. That is not caring for a horse, that is just caring for her own needs.

So yes, you will find that the pony is more attached to an equine companion than she is to you, but that is NORMAL. Eventually, she will start to look at how calm her companion is with you and this will give her confidence to trust you too.
 
WelshD said:
A hand on a stick or a duster on a stick is a good idea

One tip about headcollars - if you are going to practice putting them on at some point do this with a new headcollar OVER the one she has on now. I took the headcollar off my boy and it was a nightmare to get it back on again. Things are 100% easier if you have a headcollar to rest your hand on when trying to handle them - mine has a breakaway link in it but appreciate that you are stuck with what you have

My pony did become easier with the introduction of a companion, he sees that things arent so bad and looks to the other pony for reassurance. Before I could lead him properly he would follow the other pony so was easy to get him places such as changing field or in to a stable

You do need to make sure that any companion is easy to handle though!
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Great advice, I'm just in the middle of writing an advert so will post it in a minute for you all to evaluate. :)
 
Wagtail said:
You don't need to get anything expensive. A mini Shetland would do. All horses will prefer company of their own kind to people. I once went to photograph and paint the horse of a local woman. She had 6 acres of land, and two stables, but kept her gelding alone. When I asked her why this was, she said 'I know ***** would prefer to have a friend, but I worry that this would spoil the close bond that we have.' I remember thinking 'How utterly selfish!' She cared more about herself and keeping him totally dependent and relying on her than she did about him. That is not caring for a horse, that is just caring for her own needs.

So yes, you will find that the pony is more attached to an equine companion than she is to you, but that is NORMAL. Eventually, she will start to look at how calm her companion is with you and this will give her confidence to trust you too.
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I'll be honest, i'd be happy if she had a companion and something to stick to as a friend. I'd love for her to bond with me but I won't be selfish about it - I intend to put her needs first, always. My advert is just loading up but I hope it comes across like i'm not begging!

Looking for a companion (pref ridden)

I have a 5 year old semi-feral pony who is extremely nervous and unhandled. She lives out on her own and is absolutely lovely but after thinking about her welfare, we realize she would benefit from having a companion as a friend and to hopefully help her settle down and be comfortable around people.

I'm looking for something which is 14hh plus and safe to ride, live out and is happy to be groomed and fussed over. Must be happy with other ponies and friendly. Would be living out until October time unless I decide to keep my pony out in which this horse would be out to. No stallions please.

Looking for ideally a loan or LWVTB.

I do not have transport so would need to be delivered, if you feel you can help me please get in touch.

Anything anybody would like me to change or add?
 
I don't think you need to put the bit in about stallions. Also, the sentence about it needing to be delivered sounds a bit 'demanding'. Find a suitable companion first and then organise transport. Just because you don't have your own transport, does not stop you organising it or contributing towards it. If you want to put something in, I would suggest something along the lines of 'I do not have my own transport but would be willing to pay fuel costs or organize the hiring of transport.'
 
Wagtail said:
I don't think you need to put the bit in about stallions. Also, the sentence about it needing to be delivered sounds a bit 'demanding'. Find a suitable companion first and then organise transport. Just because you don't have your own transport, does not stop you organising it or contributing towards it. If you want to put something in, I would suggest something along the lines of 'I do not have my own transport but would be willing to pay fuel costs or organize the hiring of transport.'
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Thank you - I may just look at buying a shetland pony or something. I can't afford a ridden horse, not with shoeing, tack etc so I think i'll be looking at a pony companion and just ride at riding schools when I can fit it in. I shall ask around before putting an advert up.
 
I'd reword the bit about living out and ask for something that is happy living in or out

This will give you the maximum flexibility then. you dont need to explain any further than that I dont think
 
Could you not just share the field rather than buying a companion? I am not 100% sure of your winter arrangements, I know there is a stable but are you turning out in to the original field, keeping the pony stabled full time or do you have turnout and other horses where the stable is?
 
WelshD said:
Could you not just share the field rather than buying a companion? I am not 100% sure of your winter arrangements, I know there is a stable but are you turning out in to the original field, keeping the pony stabled full time or do you have turnout and other horses where the stable is?
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Well surprise surprise, mum flipped. She's now not talking to me because I mentioned a companion and she thinks i'm bored with pony. Just going to have to carry on as I am at the moment.
 
Right young lady, putting her needs first, always and not dragging yourself to the bus to see her are NOT compatible. Consider your ass kicked:) You need to spend time there. If you've got a book to read, revision to do, applications to write, phonecalls to make then do them from the field. If you need shelter get a cheapy pop up tent and take it with you, get one anchored by pegs and don't use guy ropes. Get it bright, it's all bombproofing. Make her a small pen and sit in it with her and read your book out loud so she gets used to your voice. You need to be there to be her companion whilst you haven't got a horsey companion for her. btw I think adding that it's got to be 14hh plus and rideable is going to make it really hard to get, that's what so many people want, plus you are putting up your costs with size.


Now, you're beginning to get lots of people telling you different things so I shall bow out as the confusion will be awful. Good luck with your pony.
 
Borrowing someone local's ancient Shetland until she comes into the stable would be a lot better than looking for a 14 hand riding pony if you really want this as a companion rather than a replacement you could ride.
If the stable is not next to the field you need to be planning how you are going to get her there. You may have to build something in the corner of the field with gates etc. to drive her into following her companion in order to capture her.

A fake hand on a stick is a good thing in time, but you are a way off even thinking of things like that yet.
 
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I would suggest not giving up with the elcetric fencing, I would half the field with it, make sure its coonected up and let her learn about it herself, don't chase her or do anything let her figure out how it works, then when that is done, make the area a little smaller and smaller, then you will have somewhere to do something with her and you can feed her in there as the grass will stop coming soon anyway.
I would strongly recommend you get a lesson from someone like an RA (Monty Roberts) or similar who can help with getting her to come to you. My rescue filly just tried to run through the electric fence when i first put her out, she now respects it after fathoming it for herself. Don't think she has seen it before.
 
mjcssjw2 said:
I would suggest not giving up with the elcetric fencing, I would half the field with it, make sure its coonected up and let her learn about it herself, don't chase her or do anything let her figure out how it works,.
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That's why I suggested earlier putting the electric fencing inside the current fence. So it is somewher that she will get to know about it but not where she is likely to run through it.
 
Ditto Jemima askin with all the things you can do. The one thing you shouldn't have time for at the moment is riding out someone elses ponies. Stop doing that, & by doing so gently break the contact with overbearing lady. For feed advice why not ring some feedlines? You can talk to them about you circumstances, that the pony is not working yet etc. Be aware with feed that you will get as many different opinions as people you ask. Go for cheap loan mini. so you can't ride it, you could use it to brush up your lunging & long reining skills for example! There is so much more to working a young horse than sitting on its back (ever seen the Mini Marvels display team, whole team of long-reining shetties). You have so much to do, & the more you put in the better your chance of seeing positive improvement. Your pony wont improve by you going off somewhere else to ride. Apologies if this sounds harsh, just think you haven't really opened your mind up to the amount of work you could be doing.
 
A great force free/ethical trainer is Ben Hart, he has a website you can read about him. He also has these great shaping plans which help you progress through training (based on clicker training plans), they break everything you need to do down into tiny steps, all formulated with the aim of building your pony's confidence.

NH is good but can use a lot of negative reinforcement, which can in turn, especially over time, destroy the pony's confidence.
 
good plan Gloi, the main fence would act as more of a physical deterrant, sorry i hadn't read that bit. just couldn't understand why others hadn't suggested to try and get her to understand it ;-)
 
Sorry for the late reply - My mum turned the internet off so I couldn't reply. I have had a think and I realize how incredibly selfish I have being and I am deeply ashamed of myself. I have told the lady I do not have time to ride her horses at the moment as I need to focus on my pony to which I am yet to get a reply (text as she didn't answer the phone) - For now I am going to look at putting an electric fence across the field so she can get past without going through but also learning that she shouldn't go near it.

My mum went to see her this morning as I feel I am coming down with a bug rather than being lazy and right now I feel pretty rotten but I am going to see her and spend a few hours with her tonight. Mum caught her laying down for the first time since her arrival this morning :)

Regarding the companion, I will be asking all my horse savvy friends and seeing if they have or know of a pony that I can borrow, even if it's for a few weeks just so she can see i'm not a monster! Thank you everyone for your help. :o
 
It does beg the question, if, by your own admission, you don't know what the hell you are doing, why the hell did you buy an unhandled and possibly in foal pony? Does you mother have any experience? I feel sorry for the pony. She must be very confused being all alone. If you can't afford to keep her properly, with the company that she needs, then maybe you need to re-evaluate if she's in the best home.
 
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