Time for a reality check ; is it time to say goodbye ?

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maisiemoo

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Ok here goes , bought said horsey last july as a mother daughter share. tried her 5 times before buying so was no rash decision. She had a major wobble tonight with my daugther on the lead rein , took me all my strenght to hold on , dread to think what would of happened if i had'nt, allways said she would have to go if she mucked about with Daughter onboard .
She is fine to hack in company , not spooky and good in traffic , but will not go out alone, believe me i've tried and so have other's .
She is not what i thought i had bought . I am 40 and although not a nervous rider am getting to the point where i have to realise she is not suitable,
Also she is a headshaker , vet just diagnosed photic headshaking ,
I paid £2500 for her , What do i do with her ? ' We don't want her to go to dealer but who will want a nappy headshaker, she's very pretty to look at and well mannered , will stand and be groomed and cuddled , fine with the farrier , comes when called .
My OH will go nuts , he's not horsey at all and will just see waste of money cos the chances are i won't get any return from her, so that will leave me and daughter horseless. Really don't know what the answer is . sorry it's long .
 
work with her don't give up - a problemed horse will take time, or if you feel she is too unsuitable sell her as a show horse perhaps? try having lessons to help lessen the head shaking, i am having to be v persistant with my mare but its gonna take awhile! if you do sell her be prepared that you might not get what you paid. god i sound really gloomy sorry! :) good luck
 
could you afford for someone to come and hack the pony out to get her over her nappiness? I would look into this first if possible and have some lessons with her.It sounds like she is trying to push her luck and may well just need a firm experienced hand to get her through it. I know you have had her some time but some horses really do take a long time to settle in before they will push the boundaries. If after having help with her to work on her nappiness you find that she is still too much then perhaps see if a good dealer would take her in part exchange. There are loads of people out there who don't hack. The headshaking if it is mild won't bother some people so again there will be a market for her.
 
This is a nightmare . daughter crying herself to sleep ' i'm sitting blubbing on puter , How would i advertise her , would be totally honest about her issue's , be lucky to get anything for her , want her to go to good home , be nice to get something back , don't want to go horseless , maybe we could find a loan horse though i know there hard to find .
 
You may have already tried this but have you tried leading her in hand round a short hacking route? Rewarding her for moving forward? If she had lived in one place all her life she is probably experiencing dreadful confidence issues. You will probably have to go right back to basics and move forwards in tiny steps. Do you know why she is headshaking?
 
Where are you? Why not see if someone can recommend a good trainer to work with her for a while? Maybe even take her away for a couple of weeks. If your daughter hacked her out in company it sounds as if she's not used to going out on her own. That can be sorted. There are also all sorts of things you can do about headshaking.
I would just say, get help rather than trying to sort this on your own. If you haven't the confidence to deal with it you can easily make matters worse, and worrying about your daughter won't help.
 
is she still on the same feed/work regime that she was on previously? as well as the other good suggestions, I would also look at this carefully - and be really honest with yourself about how much work your mare is getting v her feed. Could be worth posting on the forum as to what you do with her to get a sense check on this as well.
 
sounds like its just seeing how far it can push you and may be dont trust you yet. i brought my pony 6 year ago for my kids he was horrid bite bucked kicked out and last 2 owners couldnt do anything with him. I couldnt even lead him up lane without him spinning around and biting me kids didnt want me to sell him i started from scratch by working him on ground and forming a bound with him it took time and alot of heart ache but now he wounderful and the youngest kids can ride him and handual him i did also have a great friend helping me and confident kids riding him for me.
 
Thanks everyone. she is turned out now 24/7 , she has a scoop of happyhoof at teatime, , due to falling at the vets and skinning her knees she has only been out for half hour hacks, vet say she is a photic headshaker cos she stopped doing it whilst being lunged blindfolded [ that's how she fell ] . i am in Norfolk , if i send her away i will still have to pay a holding fee at my livery.
 
My daughters pony took 12 months before she would hack out on her own, although when we bought her we were told she wouldn't do it. It has taken patience and time and now she leads all other horses out on a very busy road and goes out on her own. It could be she is taking a bit longer to settle.
regarding the headshaking, did she do this when you tried her out? Have you had an instructor look at you riding her? Its just a bit strange she is doing it now after you tried her out on numerous occasions. If you like her then I wouldn't give up just yet.

Liz
 
yes she did have head issue's before i got her but i did'nt realise how bad, pretty awkward to ride , have no contact most of the time, feel like i have run out of options , can't ride her in the school as she naps , dare'nt let my daughter loose on her in there as she jumped the 5 bar gate one night whilst being longreined in there ,,she spooked at a tractor [ she isn't worried about tractors it was teatime ]
 
don't loose heart your horse could just have confidence issues imagine how she feels it may help you to help her ( please don't think im a bunny hugger im not but if you can see it from her point of view it will help.)
my mum had a very nappy horse she was fab in company but she wouldn't go out the yard gates on her own for love nor money. so one day i led her to the gates in tack it then took me an hour to walk her to the bottom of the lane less than a mile !! ( with my pockets stuffed full of treats but she only got one when she stepped forward)
I eventually got her on an off road brass verge to graze ( reward) then got on and rode home.
this i repeated until i could walk quite far and ride home she got more confident with me and by the end she was actually better on her own than in company.
believe me it took at least a month and i walked miles but it worked. she ended up going to shows on her own and even doing dressage indoors on her own too and she was no youngster she was a teenager. bless her shes gone now (r.i.p.) but it makes me happier to think she was confident on her own in the end.
Don't give up
hope the vets treating the knees for free !!
 
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I think you are in a bit of a panic, you are in a position that lot's of us have been in. Napping is normally curable, but she really has to trust you first. I agree with walking her out in hand first and then when you get on, ride till she sticks and get off, walk for a bit then get back on, get off when she sticks and then on again a bit further on. I did this for a while, also, i would walk her out and then ride her back. it was a bit of a hassle but it was really worth it. some people think they have won if you get off, but when they are napping, it's not that they want you off, they jsut want to go back to their mates. I didn't think that it was constructive to get into a fight with her and both of us end up in a state.
Do some ground work too and really establish the bond and trust thing too.

Other than sell her for peanuts and end up with no horse, i don't see what else you can do. I was in the same boat. the person i got her from said that she would take her back but she would have to send her for meat so i had no option either. I had to just work with what I had.
 
maisiemoo said:
yes she did have head issue's before i got her but i did'nt realise how bad, pretty awkward to ride , have no contact most of the time, feel like i have run out of options , can't ride her in the school as she naps , dare'nt let my daughter loose on her in there as she jumped the 5 bar gate one night whilst being longreined in there ,,she spooked at a tractor [ she isn't worried about tractors it was teatime ]
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Sounds to me you need someone in to give you a hand, point you and your daughter in the right direction and help out with the little mare. It doesn't sound like the end of the world that a bit of help and confidence boost won't cure.

You sound panicky and it is understandable but get some help, give it time and things may well seem different. :)
 
maisiemoo said:
Thanks everyone. she is turned out now 24/7 , she has a scoop of happyhoof at teatime, , due to falling at the vets and skinning her knees she has only been out for half hour hacks, vet say she is a photic headshaker cos she stopped doing it whilst being lunged blindfolded [ that's how she fell ] . i am in Norfolk , if i send her away i will still have to pay a holding fee at my livery.
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WHAT?????
The first thing I would do is change my vet! I've never heard anything so ridiculous. If the vet was going to do this it should at least have been on a soft surface so that the poor horse couldn't injure itself. Although I'm sure there is a more conventional way of testing for photic headshaking. I can't imagine that this will have helped with what sound like confidence issues.
Have you discussed any of this with the previous owners. What is their advice?
 
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