time to give it all up

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skippy1994

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Not sure if anyone else feels the same, but recently i have felt at the age of 47 its time to give up horses. i have ridden nearly all my life and have 3 horses, 1 youngster, 1 ex racehorse and 1 limpy old horse. i used to compete on a regular basis but recently i have lost the will to even do that. I have worked with horses most of my life and i think that could be the problem. my only worry is that, if i give it all up, i might regrete it later. any ideas
 
Im around the same age as you and sometimes I feel like that. Then I think what would I do with my time. I would probably put the weight on that I lost when I got back into horses after a big gap, go shopping and buy things I didnt really need and generally get old before my time. Could you find a sharer for some help with the youngster and the ex-racer? May its the prospect of the work involved with those 2 thats making you doubt it all. The older horse is pretty easy really in comparison. I think in winter we are so busy with them we dont have time to think about the big picture but in summer we have a bit more time on our hands and we rest up a bit, then cant be bothered sometimes. Or maybe you could sell one of the younger ones. That would lighten the load a bit.
 
i gave up .........sold my beloved cob of 12 years lasted 3 months before wanting to "do horses" again ........now ive lost my boy ........biggest mistake i have ever made.
take a break from them to see how you get on first
 
Hi know how you feal, im 52 and when get in just dont feal like the hassel any more,worn t shirt since i was 16 owning my own, seem to have lost all confidence and struggle to even get on. Pony a saint and being ridden by my daughters friend,having a great time I may add. Do find him to small as I brought him to do showing in hand as an option to riding. That was boring. Think we are both going through a late lol mid life crisis. Would not no what to do with out them though knitting lol or cross stitch !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well answer would be dare you to keep on riding and I will do the same, just need them big eyes and that nicker to set me up for the day.. Lets show them young ones what were made of .keep me posted
 
It would be a massive shame to give up, with all your experience, and they are a massive part of your life, im sure you'd feel quite lossed if you had nothing to do with horses at all?
How about just reducing to one or two horses, to give yourself an easier time, I used to have two riding horses and I couldn't give them both enough attention, it seemed more of a chore to go up the yard everyday than to go up there and just enjoy them.
Or maybe you could put them out on loan for a while and see how you feel then?
 
Im the same age as you and have been riding again for 2 years after an enforced gap of 8 years (no money:(). I dont compete, just hack out with the odd bit of schooling and cannot believe I lasted 8 years without my "fix" of horses. I was hoping after such a long gap I would have lost all interest but Im afraid I dont think it will ever leave me. I am happier than I have been for a long time, am fitter and lighter and spending much more time in the fresh air. I have an exracer and dont do much with him really, spent a fair bit of last year feeling guilty about that but he looks fantastically well and is a very happy, chilled horse so now I just enjoy being with him, riding when I feel like it and doing all the other stuff that goes with it. I dont put myself under any pressure to do anything and dont answer to anyone. Could you get some help, a willing volunteer perhaps to do a bit in exchange for some lessons or just a ride out occasionally. I think you'd miss it if you gave it all up but maybe a bit of downsizing to take the pressure off.
 
Hello their, i kind of know how you feel. I am only 23 but i left school very young and worked at a big yard for 5yrs earning next to nothing and working every hour under the sun to earn the pittance. I left and sold my horse and thought thats it i never will go near a horse again. However a yr down the line i was starting to miss them, i had a new job etc and was sitting in my work van watching some foals playing together and it was then i realised i just couldnt live without them in my life somehow. I bought a foal and it was the best thing i ever did.
Sometimes still if i put pressure on myself to look after peoples horses etc when they go on holiday i think i just cant do this it reminds me to much of working with them i dont have the enthusiasm for all this work. But when its just me and my horse i'm fine. One horse is really all i can deal with i think, and he is my life really, he gives me reason to get up in a morning as i suffer from deppression.
Perhaps you should get someone to look after them if you can just for a week or two and see how you feel without having to go and see to them. Or possibly cut down your numbers? Even getting rid of one would dramatically reduce the work they need and pressure on you. Or as others have suggested a sharer?
Anyhow i wish you the best of luck but personally i dont think you should give them up completely..S..:)
 
Bah humbug!!! What ever happened to growing old disgracefully
I had never ridden a horse til 2 years ago at the age of 51, this year we entered and came 5th in our first dressage competition and now we are learning to jump for our first event at the end of the summer.
I work about a 70 hour week, have a lesson every week and keep four horses. Im a boy as well.
Life is for living, trust me. In my job as a trauma specialist I see how quickly and unexpectedly it changes or is snuffed out
 
47 is hardly over the hill! We have members of our riding club who are over 60 and still going strong. I'm heading that way rapidly myself and can't ride atm following a fall. I haven't ridden properly since Christmas and am looking forward to be able to get back on, although I have developed the sense in recent years not to rush and hinder progress as I might well have done when I was younger. I must admit tho' that if I had to go back to livery for any reason, rather than keeping them at home, I, too, might be getting fed up by now! If I were you I would try to lessen the workload in some way, possibly by getting a sharer, or just finding some-one who will look after them for you for a while, and then see how you feel.
 
I am where you are at the moment! I am quite a bit older than you, recently had to retire my old lad and panicked and bought a new one because I thought I couldnt not ride. However since I have been having problems with new boy have been thinking lately that I wouldnt really miss riding. Only hack and really done all the local rides hundreds of times. However although I could give up riding I couldnt not have a horse. I dont have a family and am retired so the horses are why I get out of bed. Sad really. but I would sit at home and vegetate and eat and get fat and unfit! Although it is difficult to motivate myself sometimes. If you have something else to fill the horse time I would say give it a go, distance yourself from your horses if you can get someone to do them for you for a while and see how you feel. It may be you have come to the end of that part of your life and need to do something else, but dont burn your bridges yet. Set a time limit of say 6 months and see how you get on.
 
Why not reduce the number of horses you have? Or if you don't want to do that could you take a break from them? See if someone else can look after them, or just stop riding for a bit and see how it goes. This is a very big decision you're making so take your time. We all go through phases when we think we should give it up, no matter what age we are.
 
Im a bit younger than you but often feel the same way. Ive struggled with my quirky horse who Ive owned for 8 yrs and hes probably a horse of a lifetime as he is so so talented. Im replying to your post as I gave up horses for 5 yrs and tried so hard to fill the gap. I had a great year, having lie ins, doing what I wanted and going shopping for clothes! something I never do now lol. After a year or so I was so bored, nothing to do, shopping was a chore and I treid other things like joining a gym etc. 5 Yrs on I bought another horse and have had a few since.
I would try a break if possible first and see how you go. :)
 
I can quite see where you're coming from! I'm 52, completely skint after a lifetime of keeping horses in luxury, and aching from head to foot. Working at least 50 hours a week doesn't help either. Nothing ever seems to get done properly, the house is a tip, old 4WD will probably need loads of work to get it through its MOT, and I've had no new clothes for years (thank God for Ebay!). However, I can't bear the thought of waking on a beautiful summer weekend morning and not getting out of bed early to go for a ride, or not giving my warm, healthy, gleaming horse a cuddle in his stable on a winters evening before going home. I'm not interested in any other sport so would quickly get fat and would probably ache even more from long periods of inactivity! So I've come to the conclusion that I'm not ready to hang up my boots just yet! Perhaps you should just lighten your load a little bit so that you can start to enjoy it all again?
 
I'm 50 this year (aaarrrgh!) and have only just decided to keep my cob after thinking of selling him: soooo will be keeping the old joddy's on the go for a while yet. I don't do anything serious, just hack around plus the odd pleasure ride.

But before anyone is tempted to give up; I personally feel Mary King is a great role model for us older riders. I remember her from pony club days; she was Axe Vale & the rest of us were the neighbouring branch - and had to compete against her, which is why we all did FA basically!

I think most of us who've grown up with horses would be as miserable as an anti at a hunt supporters "do" if we gave up - I know a few years ago when I was horseless it was awful, the first week of no mucking out/early mornings was OK, but then I just couldn't bear it anymore, so ended up with the horse I've got now. Pathetic innit.
 
I m 55 next birthday and I often feel the same too, but I ve just bought a 4 year old unbroken! Just pooh picking the field wears me out for the day, that and making dinner and keeping on top of the housework and walking the dog! Sometimes I thinkI am completely mad, but I spent 5 months miniumum surfing the net looking for my new horse.
I dont doubt that my new horse will probably at sometime seriously injure me but I just think I must have some need for life threatening challenges other wise life seems pretty dull.
Incidently,I have two plates and 9 pins in my pelvis from a serious accident 6 years ago with my previous youngster, I have osteo-arthritis in my spine and have constant cracking headaches, and I have ankylosing spondylitis to boot so I am pretty stiff until Ive warmed up a bit. Grow old discracefully and throw caution to the wind. Who wants to die in their bed of old age anyway!
 
skippy1994 said:
Not sure if anyone else feels the same, but recently i have felt at the age of 47 its time to give up horses. i have ridden nearly all my life and have 3 horses, 1 youngster, 1 ex racehorse and 1 limpy old horse. i used to compete on a regular basis but recently i have lost the will to even do that. I have worked with horses most of my life and i think that could be the problem. my only worry is that, if i give it all up, i might regrete it later. any ideas
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I dont compete at the moment either as i dont have anything to compete with. I also cant be bothered with it all either.I think the knock on effect of a day at a competition is not worth the hassle in the week of catching up! What is another rosette? just a dust collector lol!

Is your limpy old horse playing on your mind? I only ask as I had to pts one of mine this week and it is only now i realise just how much it had hurt me to see him as he was now as opposed to how he used to be. It really had got me down.
 
OMG, how strange i have been thinking of posting something simular.
A couple of months ago i was thrown off and broke my ribs, just as i was recovering, i twisted my ankle climbing over a gate :( so i hav'nt ridden in quite a time, and to be perfectly honest i think i have lost my nerve and every thing i do seems to go wrong.
We moved the horses at the begining of the summer, so that i could break in two of them ( close to my yard, and quiet lanes ) but i hav'nt been able to do anything :o. Lots of things seem to be getting on top of me, and i am now left feeling unable to cope:(:( . I can deal with the day to day upkeep, and am still quite happy to do everything, but if i can't bring myself to ride, let alone, break in, i feel completly inadiquate and i should sell them all :o:(.

Oh i am 45, maybe it is my age:rolleyes:
 
I'm approaching the big five-0 this time and I can't think of anything WORSE than not going for a gallop along the beach, popping afew fences in the school, training at the riding club or mucking out and grooming. I don't even go on holiday unless they come along, too. I won't deny I enjoy an occasional lie-in and if it is bloody freezing or throwing it out of the skies I'll stay indoors - unless I can find an arena with a roof on! And some days I ache or simply don't want to ride for other reasons. No, the day I give up is they day they bury me.
 
I'm mid forties and still really love having the horses but I must admit I'm not too keen on riding anymore . . . and haven't been for sometime.
I'm more than happy to do the dirty work and I love watching my horses compete at shows but I don't want to compete them myself !!

I've got over this by selling off my surplus stock and just left myself with a homebred yearling and two year old, then a four year old that has just been broken and started jumping novice classes.
I keep the four year old fit at home then just take her to shows for my rider to compete for me. I also take her to my rider once a week for some of intensive schooling and a bit of grid work too.

I find this a really good compromise and it works for me !!

Good luck
 
I have to say I do sometimes get these feelings (normally when OH and I have done something nice and sophisticated like getting dressed up and having a day in Amsterdam and I realize that I actually don't have poo under my fingernails!).

But I know I would miss it so much, I changed discipline at the beginning of the year and am getting a buzz out of learning western, also think that it will be something I can carry on with as I get creakier! Well my instructor is 58 and can still vault onto my 16.3 horse (the git!)

I take my inspiration from my Dad who used to still go out for a daily hack aged 84 on his 26 year old hunter.....when people used to say how do you do it his reply was "well we are both on Bute and the day when one of us stops enjoying it then I have told the kids to have us both shot".......He finally gave up at 87 when George was no longer rideable, he then resorted to taking him for long walks.
 
I've kind of been forced to give up since I retired my 2nd horse last month. I already had one retiree at livery out of the area and my boy has gone to join him there as there is no suitable grass livery where I live. Finances don't allow a 3rd horse and any shares I've looked at are either too expensive or absolute nutters so I have nothing to ride or care for at the moment.....and I'm absolutely lost, really don't know what to do with myself.

With my sensible head on, I know that logically it is time for me to take a break - a chance to get my finances into order, catch up on household things, give my dogs the attention they deserve - as the time and money spent trying to get the pony sound and back into even light work took up all my time and energy over the last year. I also have some health issues that have made me a nervous rider as I really can't afford to do any more damage to myself - so that also limits what I can look for :(

Sorry for the moan :o but if you think you want to give up I would advise that you leave yourself some options (loan yours out maybe?) to get back into horses in case you miss it too much.
 
I am currently in the giving up scenario. I wont wreck your post by listing the muddles in my life.

When I bought my last horse I did it too quick and kept him too long now I am horseless I am quite enjoying the luxury of Bed I have plenty of hobbies to keep me occupied.

I test myself by online horse hunting and have not as yet had any pangs of remorse.

I havent sold my HB510 and have thought about loaning it out to save on parking charges and I still have all my tack and rugs. I am going to decide wether to flog it all next spring. I am thinking that maybe at nearly 56 I have grown out of my pony phase !! Maybe I am havinga break I dont know we'll see.
 
Im probably at the same place as you. I have totally lost all interest and just the thought of having to do this everyday till ???? depresses me greatly.
I have the sweetest gelding who I love dearly, he really deserves much more attention as he really is a little star.
Wish I could find someone I trusted to take him on loan but I would be so worried about him with all the horror stories.
Anyone have any ideas???
 
No-one has mentioned HRT. Get yourself down to the docs for a blood test and tell them you're feeling depressed. I can vouch for the chemical help! I'm 52, i ride my daughters ex racer occasionally and have a youngster that I don't have to ride. When she's 4 i'll have her broken and sell her on (youngster, not daughter), and enjoy watching her career. Might even get another foal.
 
Too many horses, too little time.

Go down to one or two. That should give you time to enjoy them again.

We had years without horses. When I think back to how we spent our spare time..., well, let's just say the horses have given us a focus :D. We do take time out and away from them - I try not to ride on a Sunday and we have that as a family day, the horses are out so they just need an eye casting over them :)

Have a hug and a hot choccy :D
 
I loved hearing about your Dad, Chavhorse!! He's an inspiration!

OP, I think that 3 horses must be too much and this probably takes away the enjoyment. Why not downsize to one as others have said? I have just posted in veterinary about riding my horse again after a long year of illness/injury for both of us. An enforced rest really focussed my mind on how much riding means to me, I am just so happy to be back on board!!!

It helps that I have a gentle, beautiful horse who means the world to me. I have loved riding for 50 years and can't see that changing, despite days when I don't want to be bothered. Being active and exercising every day in the fresh air is really fantastic, and so much more fun than a gym!!

There is no right answer but don't let age be a factor in your decisions!! :D:D
 
My Mum is 52 and this year she (in chronological order) had an affair, divorced my Dad, bought her own house, sold the horse (she's had horses since she was 17 :eek: ) and left the rest of her stuff in the family home, in favour of buying everything new :confused:

She is now driving around in her pillar box red Audi A4 convertible, possibly with her new boyfriend who lives 50% of the time in Naples :confused:

I share this info only to highlight that sometimes change is needed (both my folks are happier now than they have been for years) ...but if you are thinking you need to make a few changes to your own life may I suggest doing it one at a time?? :eek: :p :)
 
what amazing stories from people here, I am given heart by reading them all. Things are difficult for me, but reading these posts has helped me to put my dramas in perspective. Perhaps we all need reminding once in a while why we stick at it! I look at all my non-horsey friends and think, do i want to be like them, concerned with latest fashions and hair and nails and trivialities of the like? NO!!
 
I'm 47, and don't think I could cope with more than one horse so maybe if you can get some help with one or two of your other horses it might help things? Do you keep them somewhere where you could get either a youngster to help with yard/stable duties for you or a sharer or two who would like to help out with a couple of them? The fact that you've worked with horses all your life says something about how you feel about them though I can perfectly understand feeling weary. Unless it's all about competing for you I wouldn't worry too much if all you want to do at the moment is pootle with your horses for a while. Maybe you just need to jiggle it up a bit, get a good balance for you between work and horses or other areas of your life and horses. I've had some changes in my life in the last year which meant I've had to do my horse full-time with no occasional back up paid livery help as I couldn't justify the cost, I never used to get much done just the odd day's muck out/hay/water service but on busy days at work it really helped. Without such occasional treats for myself I've found it exhausting and it has impacted on my enthusiasm for riding a bit but that's partly also to do with having to commute to work now which makes for long days.

I find constant tiredness can make me feel very negative about things so maybe consider some options to ease your load initially before you give it all up, if you can get a bit of help/support with your horses it might change how you feel :)
 
Yes, tiredness is one thing at the moment. I have found that the great heat we are having at the moment is making me feel less positive about the horses. Maybe it is the same where you are ?
 
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