Time to quit?

I have always ridden green/naughty ponies. Recently I've acquired the ride on an advanced dressage schoolmaster. Quite the shock to the system! What I'm learning is to be very conscious of what I'm doing and what I'm asking- for example the first time I attempted canter leg yield I got flying changes. Not the horses fault, I had put my outside leg back/on and inadvertently asked for it. Out hacking on wednesday we found the 'canter spot' and it took all my concentration just to 'sit' and stay still.
So I can very easily see how you could lose your confidence making this sort of transition/have mishaps along the way.
I am going through the process with back up from the owner and a large amount of regular lessons with a trainer who knows me and the horse well and this is key. Also because it gives me the chance to compete at a higher level than I'd dreamed would be possible but more importantly for me, improve my riding and give me a new challenge so it feels worth going through the inevitable ups and downs.
It's worth looking at your ambitions- just because your mare can jump 3ft+ comfortably doesn't mean she needs to, if you are happy dressaging/hacking and she's otherwise nice to have around then putting jumping ambitions to one side may be an option. The alternative is getting serious with your training to learn how to adapt your riding to her or accepting that maybe you and your mare are on different wavelengths and better suited to different horses/riders. There isn't a wrong or right answer to this but at the end of the day it's an expensive hobby that's supposed to be fun, if you're not enjoying it/doing what you want is it worth it?
Also, have you had chance to analyse your falls with your trainer- by establishing what caused the fall you could look at where to focus your training on and how to handle the situation next time round maybe?
 
Cortez said:
Being over horsed is a very common ailment. There are really only two courses of action; become a better rider, or get a more suitable horse. Perhaps I don't deserve a twiglet for that piece of advice, but life is really too short to be frightened of what is supposed to be a pleasant activity.
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This is really the long and short of it tbh! I think the dressage could improve your balance etc, and that in turn may make you more stable and secure - less likely to fall off and more confident.

I'm a dressage obsessed person so may be biased, but how about doing some serious work on it for six months (maybe aim to qualify for regionals?) and if you don't get bitten by the bug, sell her to a dressage home? You may get more than you paid for her, and with that you can buy a quieter schoolmaster type.
 
She doesn't put a hoof wrong but is such a forward going big moving horse I don't know if I'll ever get the hang of her. If I become unbalanced at all, my weight goes forward and she is off. And I can't pretend I won't ever lose balance jumping.
Should I call it a day and stick to the cobby types, or should I acknowledge that it will take a while but I'll get there if I take it slowly?
I'm not getting any younger at 40 this year :(
Twiglets for anyone who has read this far. X[/QUOTE]

You've had a massive change of horse - a totally different animal. You've ONLY had it six months and you're ONLY 40!
You are improving, and will improve more. You must be doing a lot right to bring home the rosettes. Take things very slowly to build confidence in the partnership. Forget (for now) the 80cm dream. You might end up doing novice but even if not, the rewards of learning to bond with such a horse will beat anything!
Set small goals. Once they're achieved, reassess, but don't set time limits. If you only ride what you can ride - you never improve.
 
I am with Cortez and Pigeon.
I have been significantly over-horsed myself, so know something about it. For me, it meant accepting that while I was going to learn a lot, I wasn't going to be able to do many of the things I might have been able to do on a different horse. I was quite happy to revise my goals downwards considerably, because I was getting so much out of what we were doing. But that wouldn't have been the right answer for lots of other people.
If you stick with it and invest the time, effort and money in training etc then maybe you will get there together. Your trainer is the best person to advise you. And it's meant to be fun, so if she's not your perfect horse, she's probably someone else's!
Best of luck with it x
 
My best advice would be keep going with your dressage and give yourself three months to drastically change your jumping position in my view you need to go to a very good eventing trainer to work on your position someone like Gill Watson
At the same time I would try Pilates and work on a exercise ball .
I would be hacking out in short stirrups and riding off the horses back learning to keep your balance and lower leg position while walking out ,
I would be doing two sessions a week in the school working in jumping position doing flat and pole work these only need to be twenty minutes but it's to get you focusing on your upper body position and lower leg stability .
I can't say if your horse is the wrong one based on what you say if by June your still struggling I would consider selling her
Finally check your jumping saddle is helping rather than hindering you the right jumping saddle for you can make a huge difference .
 
Thank you all so much. Having read and re-read your comments I have definitely decided to keep trying. I know that if we ever get there we could be better as a pair than I ever dreamed. And at the end of the day I really like her as a person. She is my first mare and I absolutely love the quirky personality and won't ever buy another gelding.
Goldenstar I hadn't thought of a different saddle, I have a Kent and masters GPD which I bought for her in September and don't really like. I will try to rustle up a jump saddle and see how it feels.
 
I would say keep her for a while longer and really work on your core strength. Having ridden a cob for ages, your core will be weaker than it needs to be for a horse like your mare (just simply because you dont usually need a very strong core to ride a cob, they generally have lovely smooth movement that doesnt throw you out of the saddle). Get to a gym and really work on your core strength. When I got my horse, his movement threw me out of the saddle a lot (never fell off), but it was very uncomfortable compared to the lovely smooth action of highlands and cobs that I was used to.

If you cant go to a gym, then try when you're trotting, standing for 2 strides rather than 1. It will feel weird, but it will help as well. Improving your overall strength will help make you feel more secure, its helped me with my horse. Good luck with her. :)
 
A good jumping saddle may make all the difference, a GP really doesn't help especially if you are a bit insecure in your position, this is the sort of thing a good trainer should pick up on straight away, a girl on my yard has a GP and her position was all over the place when she jumped, I lent her a jumping saddle in a lesson and it make an incredible difference to her but even better the horse was obviously more confident.
 
Agreed on the saddle too. Does your Kent and Masters GP saddle have the knee and thigh blocks? If not, get them, might help too. Mine came with both and its good for keeping your leg secure even on the flat.
 
How much jumping have you actually done with her?

It's hard to say because perhaps this is just her or perhaps you and her make each other like this.

I've got two cobs, both very sporty and capable of jumping over a metre. Genuine and so on. I still stuff it up on occasion.

6 months isn't that long. Do you enjoy riding her or do you dread jumping lessons. That would probably be the clincher for me, it should be fun.
 
Sallyfinn said:
Apologies in advance for the length.....
I have always been a hairy cob lover and my little man and I are very happy together. We hack and pleasure ride and hunt lots. He is very reliable and will lead anyone across the nastiest of ditches. However, he's not great with an upright, and does the odd nasty stop if he thinks it's a bit big.
We had started doing some hunter trials but 2'6" really is his limit and I'm often a bit anxious jumping more than 2'3" because he's a typical "on the forehand" type and I'm afraid we'll forward roll (and have a couple of times).
Last summer I decided I wanted to buy something a bit sportier. Whilst I don't want to do more than a 2'6" novice class, I decided I would really like a horse that found it easy so I could relax and improve.
After much horse shopping, and one horrible fall trying one, I bought a 16'2 10yo ex-eventer. I hoped that she and I would do the same things I did with the cob, but without the fear of her stopping or falling. Well the long and the short of it is that I have over horsed myself.
In the autumn I fell off her a lot. I had 2 hospital visits and one trip in a blue light ambulance. Like others on here my confidence is in my boots. Whilst I am still hunting my cob, I have taken to dressage with the mare. We keep bringing home rosettes, I'm learning stacks, and we are getting on better all the time. BUT I can't help thinking that I am unlikely to ever be able to do what I hoped with her. My dreams of a BE80 (no, not that big an ask I know) seem like an impossibility. I don't care if I come last but being too scared to try is awful.
She doesn't put a hoof wrong but is such a forward going big moving horse I don't know if I'll ever get the hang of her. If I become unbalanced at all, my weight goes forward and she is off. And I can't pretend I won't ever lose balance jumping.
Should I call it a day and stick to the cobby types, or should I acknowledge that it will take a while but I'll get there if I take it slowly?
I'm not getting any younger at 40 this year :(
Twiglets for anyone who has read this far. X
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Age has nothing to do with it, it is how you feel. I am older than you and I am not giving up, hubby keeps saying you should rest on your day off not do chores or house work. I say I will get plenty of rest when I am dead and buried and despite my hand and now broken ribs I keep on mucking out 8 horses, and will continue to do sponsored rides etc. Then again I have done this all my life so part of me, do what you feel is right and how you feel and if a big horse is too much then stick to what your comfortable with.
 
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