Time to throw in the towel?

[Cluny]

I can totally relate to what you are going through, I went through something very similar with my then 5 year old, I avoided hacking out for about 2 months and then I had to sing nursery rhymes to myself all the way round a ride, just to make sure I kept on breathing!

Have you considered something like NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)?

 

[Storminateacup]

I had a bad accident on the ground with my youngster and was advised to never ride again as an accident could do me a lot of damage due to the pins and plates in my pelvis. I had been nervous on him as a newly backed 3 year old so at 17.1hh I just thought it was best for both of us to sell him. Found him a wonderful home and bought current horse, heavyweight cob.
Within 4-5 months I had all my confidence back and have never looked back. True, I miss having the horse of my dreams, that Jo was, he was so beautiful, but due to my lack of experience, he was too much horse for me.
However I love my cob to bits and never have a day where I doubt his safety or feel anxious and sick with nerves.
Its not a nice way to live, in constant fear.
Why do it?
You are supposed to be having fun!
I think you should move on.

 

[Parkranger]

I do sympathise with you - it's a horrible situation to be in. I have just loaned out my TB and although i love him to bits, I kow he's not right for me....I now have a pony who's great fun!

As someone else said, it's not throwing in the towel, it's just doing what's sensible! x

 

[Kat]

I think you need to give yourself some time to decide whether this is a blip or whether you need to make big changes. If it is a blip you don't want to make a rash decision you will regret, but on the otherhand you don't want to prolong the agony or make things worse for you both.

To get you that breathing space and to make things easier should you decide to sell you need to find someone to ride your horse now. Try to find someone confident and experienced and you may find that the problem is solved for you. Advertise for a sharer or ask a friend to ride her. You can do a couple of days a week in the school and they can do a couple hacking or schooling. If you are really struggling do not discount working livery at a GOOD riding school or equestrian college, they will have people riding that need the experience of a horse that needs bringing on and the school I ride at have done fab work with difficult horses.

Then we she is getting some riding elsewhere see if you can get some riding on something reliable, a friend's horse or a riding school or advertise as a sharer looking for something that is reliable. Maybe someone on here has something steady they could let you help with.

Give yourself some time and then reassess things. If you feel happy riding a plod but the thought of getting back on your own fills you with dread then get rid. She will have been schooling in the meantime so that she is easier to sell and you have someone to ride her for buyers. You may even be able to sell her to your sharer........

Anyway give yourself some time, don't beat yourself up and best of luck.

 

[saddlesore]

Hey guys, just incase anyone has stickied this I just want to say a HUGE thankyou for all your support and kind words. Going to get others to ride him just now whilst I have a good think about things.
Sorry for the tardy thankyou but i've been computer free all weekend - I have withdrawl symptons!!

 

[Barefoot4]

Ditto every other poster who's been there. My boy and me have been together for 10 years now and we've had real ups and downs but our bond - well, mine - is way too strong to let him go. Lessons I've learnt that have kept us together are - don't beat yourself up over what you don't feel like doing - and more importantly don't let peer pressure make you feel uncomfortable in what you aren't doing - you're not alone here and you're not the first - or the last - who is going through this - take the time it will take. One time I gave us both a couple of months off - he chilled out, so did I, and when I got back in that saddle my head was very chilled. Also, remember - just walking is highly underrated! I have some of the loveliest times just going out for a plod with the chap and taking in the countryside and scenery - it doesn't have to be all hardcore yeehah stuff. Take a pal, a dog, a cyclist, along for the ride so you don't feel alone and vulnerable. Just work on lots of cuddles and ground stuff, loads of bonding and trust stuff, and time will get you back to where you want to be, wherever that might be. Don't lose hope or heart - it will be what it will be.