Tips and advice on lost confidence

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Kimbo88

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Hi All

I have a 15.3hh, 7 year old TB. Last year I had him going beautifully, schooling, hacking out and jumping nicely. However over winter and most of this summer I just havent had the time a 7 year old TB needs and his behaviour is going backward. Nothing dangerous he just feels very green, spooking and getting himself worked up over silly things and getting very exciteable on rides in the woods, dancing about and feeling like a spring. He hasnt took off or bucked but he is just shaking my confidence.

I have never been a nervous rider but at the minute I feel like I just want to go and enjoy a nice ride rather than always trying to bring him on. I think partly because I have less time to spend there these days. I find it really upsetting as I don't want to see him get worse and go to waste.

I just wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and had any advice?

I have had his teeth done, vet out, saddle fitted and back checked to make sure there are no underlying issues and have been riding every day even if just in walk. I have thought about lessons but also thought about a swap for something easier or a full loan.

Any thoughts? If anyone has swapped before how did they go about it?

Thanks
Kim
 
Ian Waite is based in Hanslope. He would ride and school your horse to your instructions, through the woods etc and advise if he thought the problem could be solved. Worth a call before you go to the expense of exchanging. He advertises in Chiltern and Thames rider.
 
Not quite the same situation as yours but I had a safe and sane 15hh cob mare for a couple of years. I then decided she didn't have enough sparkle for me and decided I "needed" a TB. BIG mistake.... with hindsight, this was the worst decision I've ever made in my life and I'd do anything to turn the clock back. Bought another safe and sane 16.2 ex-racer but I couldn't get over the fact he was a TB and thus a bit sharper. He never put a hoof wrong but my confidence gradually seeped away like a leaky pond :( It wasn't him at all, it was all in my head. I then went back to a 16hh cob and decided HE was too tall... so bought a little 14hh cob mare earlier in the year who bronc'd me off on our first hack out in May and broke 6 ribs, damaged my spleen and put me in hospital for 4 days.

So... you can probably guess, MY confidence and nerves are at rock bottom now. I do have a sensible and safe gelding now, who's 14.2 and have recently started riding him. At first I insisted my husband led me and if I hacked out, I would walk him in-hand to check he was "in a good mood", but I'm starting to trust that he won't buck or bronc (as I now expect ALL horses to do that to me!) and can mount him at the yard and hack out, with just my OH as my "foot soldier". I'm taking tiny steps but I really WANT to ride happily.

Maybe your horse isn't right for you?
 
Thanks digger I will give Ian a call as a first choice.

Domane did you sell your horses or swap? I'm hoping I can sort things out but you may be right.

I have no experience of exchanging maybe my only option is to sell him or full loan him.
 
I always seem to find myself saying this, but there is no guarantee that if you get a different horse there will be less problems. Horses are often unsettled when they change yards. If yours hasn't bucked or bolted then rather than replacing the poor fella and sending him to an uncertain future you could get some advice on improving your confidence.

I'm taking a load of stirrup free riding lessons at the local riding school at present to make sure my seat can cope with (just about) anything my youngster can throw at me and feel much more secure.

Paula
 
I know EXACTLY what you are going through.

My previous horse was a real handful and everything was a battle with him, I owned him for 2 1/2 years and in that time I lost the joy of riding. I competed him a lot and he won everything, however there was no joy in it for me.
Last year when I was leaving for university I decided that it was ridiculous to keep him, I wouldn't have the time to compete frequently so why keep such a highly strung horse who only ever wanted to compete?
That's when I made the surprisingly easy decision to sell him on to a competition home who could give him the life that he deserves and wants, I know that he would be wasted and hideously underworked with me and I would be stressed and frustrated with him so it seemed ridiculous to keep him!

So, I sold my expensive, flashy and hugely talented sports horse and bought a native x pony. It was the best decision I ever made, although a lot of my horsey friends thought that I was crazy! :rolleyes:

Don't get me wrong, Sandy (said native) isn't a plod by any means, in fact he is known as the fastest pony in Cheshire as he naturally has two speeds, jog and gallop :cool:
However, he has a sweet nature and that counts for a lot. Also, I adore having a nippy, whizzy pony as he is just oodles of fun! In fact he is the most fun horse/pony that I have ever met, he is one of them that is always cheerful and has a spring in his step!

Overall I am much happier with my current pony, I spent 80% of my riding life working with (and owning) big flashy showjumpers and I missed out on the fun side as everything was about riding to win.

Sometimes you have just got to do what makes you happy! :D
 
STOP and think. last year you say all was good so what has changed? you have had saddle teeth back done! now look at the diet! versus the work.
I think a good instructor once/twice a week for a couple of weeks then fortnightly .. leaving you a bit of homework to do will help you no end!!
Unless of course you have in your mind decided you really dont like your horse!
 
My cob mare initially went on loan but the home she went to was second-to-none so I offered her to them for a nominal amount as I knew she'd have a home for life there, which I couldn't guarantee at the time.

The TB went off on short-term loan and again was sold for a nominal fee. It was more about finding the right home for them.

Another thought I've just had, could it be that you are transmitting your own nerves? When I rode my TB he would always jog or "power walk" with me. When his loaner (and subsequent new mum) came to try him, she took him out on her own on our usual route - a loop - and I went the opposite way to meet her - and she was ambling along on him, reins on the buckle, marvelling at how relaxed he was..... so it was definitely a bad ridden match for the pair of us!
 
Thank you for all of the advice! Seems like a bit of a mixed bag.

I rode him tonight and he was quite good so I think I am going to try lessons for a while and do my best to work him and increase my confidence. If not much improves I am certain now I couldn't sell him as I would find it hard but a few of you said you did loan first so I will look to full loan him!

Its just hard when head says one thing heart says another! I really want it to work as we have come so far, think it is genuinely less time ridden has resulted in his behaviour. I have another girl riding him too which i think has contributed, she is a good rider but he is so sensitive i think it has unsettled him.
 
kimbo88 i am going through exactly the same thing as you at the moment...i posted on here a few days ago for advice as had decided to sell my mare due to lack of confidence...

However after a week to think about it i have decided to go back to my old instructor for lessons as when i had lessons with him last year he really helped my confidence as he has a no nonsense approach and i am also going to go for help with my confidence issue (hypnotherapy!).

My mare is a bit tricky but 99% of the time she is great and i feel if i got rid of her i would start all over again with another horse and i would feel the same nerves as i do now. Sometimes its better the devil you know i guess.

Hope it all goes well with you and your horse x:)
 
I find my confidence can come and go - usually driven by how much I am riding. If I have periods of not being able to ride (quite likely with my job) then I lose confidence regardless of what my horse does.

Also if you arent able to give him consistent work he gets more energy and when you are able to ride you really have to ride them - especially if you just need to be able to switch off and enjoy a nice chilled hack.

Give him, and you, a chance before acting. It sounds like you enjoy him but it is easy to get out of the habit with your horse and when things feel strange we naturally feel less confident.

Good luck
 
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