Tips for surviving a livery yard....

Bring all your children with you let the girls squabble and ride their ponies and let your son climb up the top of the muck heap and throw lumps of poo down when they get bored let them play running up and down the yard screaming!
 
Pongwiffy said:
Staying friendly but not aloof...

Offer to make others a drink if putting kettle on.
Bring coffee/tea/sugar etc periodically
Say hello/goodbye when passing
If you see certain people around a lot, try and make a little bit of time to ask how their horses are doing/ make small talk about weather/ how their week has been once in a while.
Try not to walk around with a face like a slapped ar*se or blank people just because you are having a bad day.

Treat people how you wish you to be treated.
Tidy up after yourself and put things back where you found them.
Don't borrow other people's belongings without asking.
Don't leave anything valuable lying around - just in case.
Don't offer advice or opinions on other people's horses or situations unless specifically asked for it and if in doubt be non-committal! Don't get involved in b*tching.
If people invite you to a social event make the effort to go sometimes even if it isn't really your cup of tea- shared experiences help create a sense of community IMO

I just try to employ the same tact and discretion as you would when dealing with colleagues in a work space. Some people you will naturally click with but you don't have to be everyone's best friend - just be kind and pleasant :)
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Wise words.

P
 
c2b said:
Nod, smile, say nice things about other peoples horses and ignore everything else.
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Absolutely.
Complement others horses, have a sunny smile and step over their crap blocking the aisle as though it was perfectly sensible to have it there.

Then teach your horse how to get through a narrow side door by breathing in, so you avoid hoof prints on the fallen crap or appearing critical by clearing the walkway in order to lead your horse out of the stable.
 
I wish you luck! I'm a weekend sharer and nobody speaks to me. Ever. If I speak to them they always look startled and then stare so I dont bother now. I only go to do the boy anyway not to make friends so its fine. A bit weird but fine.

My previous yard where I had my own horses was where I learnt to ride as a kid so we all knew each other really well and it was very sociable. I miss it a bit. I dont know why horsey people are so unfriendly.
 
Don't get heavily involved in discussions, do what you have/want to do and that's it. Grow a thick skin and rise above gossip. Advice will be given to you wanted or not by those that think they know everything....remember they don't. They're probably just trying to impress you with their superior knowledge that they either just fathomed up or got from an outdated book somewhere.
 
Hot2Trot said:
I wish you luck! I'm a weekend sharer and nobody speaks to me. Ever. If I speak to them they always look startled and then stare so I dont bother now. I only go to do the boy anyway not to make friends so its fine. A bit weird but fine.

My previous yard where I had my own horses was where I learnt to ride as a kid so we all knew each other really well and it was very sociable. I miss it a bit. I dont know why horsey people are so unfriendly.
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I've noticed similar treatment to sharers on some yards too. Its almost as though the sharer needs to be endorsed as an equal by the owner to everyone else before they are accepted.

Don't worry I've noticed the same by new liveries when they see me riding a H/W cob and assume I'm a mature nervous novice. Its not until I'm seen riding one of the feisty TB X's that I suddenly become a person worth talking to. Its happened so many times with such transparency that its become a game that 's quite funny.
 
Burmilla said:
Say nothing other than good morning/afternoon/evening. Tidy up after yourself and your horse. Do not rise to any gossip or add to it. Pack all your possessions away in a lockable trunk. Pay your bill on time and in full. Keep your dogs/children under close control at all times, or not there at all. Discuss any concerns or queries with YM/YO only. Be immaculately polite to yard staff.
Review these rules after six months and decide if you wish to relax them or add to them!
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Said sooooo well!

Do not agree to teach any ones kids, take compliments with grace and keep personal opinions personal!
 
Hot2Trot said:
I wish you luck! I'm a weekend sharer and nobody speaks to me. Ever. If I speak to them they always look startled and then stare so I dont bother now. I only go to do the boy anyway not to make friends so its fine. A bit weird but fine.

My previous yard where I had my own horses was where I learnt to ride as a kid so we all knew each other really well and it was very sociable. I miss it a bit. I dont know why horsey people are so unfriendly.
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Thats horrible! We're not all like that lol. I am a YO and only have two liveries but we have no problems and everyone is nice!
 
When a gossip group starts up outside your stable tell them to piss off to the other side of the yard to slag people off because your not interested and have a hangover :D
 
webble said:
Why do you say that if you dont mind me asking? Its nice to have someone to ride with
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I wish someone would ask to ride with me :(

I sound so "woe is me". Its really not that bad. I just feel like i'm 10 and the new girl at school again even though I've been on the yard for six months and I'm nearly 30!

Ah well, their loss because I'm awesome and fun.
 
Oh and spread the rumour your horse killed its previous owner because it looked at them the wrong way ... this ensures most of the yard stay away from your horse (In my case that is actually safer as she is likely to eat them if they look at her the wrong way) :D

And always remember ... it will be your turn to be the outcast one day so treat the current outcast nicely because its all swings and roundabouts on a livery yard.
 
If the yard is anything like mine...

Smile sweetly when they go on about how you 'can't ride' because no one has ever seen you ride due to moving onto the yard with a broken hand then selling mr bone breaking horse and buying a yearling!

Lock everything away! People WILL use it, then deny knowing it was yours when you confront them.... Like they don't know I'm the only one with a purple brush!!

Everyone else knows best.... My little yearling was snotty so vet checked him out...turned out he had hay fever.... Not according to fellow liveries.... He had everything from strangles to mites!
 
I'm on the first time boarding at a livery yard and I make sure that I am friendly and polite to everyone and pull my weight when it comes to the tidying up. I used to keep my horses at home, and used to work on dressage and eventing yards. I don't see why the YO should live with my mess so I make sure that I keep myself to myself.
So far I haven't noticed any gossiping or politics, but if I do notice it I will make sure I stay polite and non-confrontational. I have also noticed that yards with men on them don't tend to be as bitchy as all female/ female dominated yards.

Personal favorite moment on the yard was when someone came drove in and wanted to have a look round, I was the only one there and we were chatting about who she would be able to hack out with and such like, then she asked if there were any politics on the yard or any b!tchyness and I sad there wasn't, the yard is full of very intellegent women and that seems to stop the school-ground games, she said;

"That's good then, i'm having real problems on the yard I'm on at the moment. What are those horses doing in? I wouldn't do it like that!"

You couldn't have made it up! Luckily she didn't move in!!
 
put your initials on everything
put stuff away so you know you put it there and less likely to be used.


Here no one steals anything without asking we have nothing going missing.


choose coloured things so easy to spot.
Think you will find most places you wont have a problem, there are occasions where people borrow stuff annoying but it does go on.


What I do object is when being a DIY your feed or hay - bedding goes missing
 
label everything with a permanent marker. bottles, grooming kit, headcollars etc.
leave nice stuff at home and only bring it up as needed so it doesn't go walkies.
 
I'm moving to a new yard in the spring and getting quite nervous now. Nine other liveries and I have met most of them. They all seem pleasant but as a new girl (I use the term loosely) I think it will take time to fit in.
 
Know that if someone is always gossiping/bitching to you about everyone else, they will be gossiping/bitching about you to everyone else too. Smile politely and say "hmm" - never yes or no so you can't be cited as agreeing with them. When you find out who is who and what's what, you can find the people you can trust with all the gossip. :D

Seriously though, never take anything without asking, if you use someone else's cup in the tea room, please clean it and put it back spotless rather than letting a horrid tide of tannin build up, put my tools and wheelbarrow back if you use them, and fine, help yourself to anything that is mine, but tell me and replace it.

Oh and when they ask "what do you do with your horse?" say "I ride it" unless it is an unbroken youngster
 
Be polite with the livery staff but do not enourage them to talk abut any problems they may feel are ocurring with your horse. Let them talk to the YO/YM about that and let them filter the bullshit for you and engage in an adult discussion if there genuinly is a problem. I have learnt that one the hard way this weekend. :(
 
horsesatemychristmasmoney said:
aw hot2trot that's mean :( where are you? maybe somebody in here might be local
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:D I'm a big girl, I can take it. Promise I dont go home crying after I've been to the yard! I'm the Southend area of Essex so if anyone is local then PM me. I'd love a hacking buddy. Or someone who wants to talk to me. I'm really nice and not at all weird.
 
oh dear, if I read this advice I would be terrified! Just be polite, tidy and yourself! Showing consideration towards other liveries or checking anything you are not sure about is a good idea but this is meant to be a place where you can enjoy time with your horse so I really would not stress about if. And so what if it is dreadful, its hardly the end of the world, you simply find somewhere else to go!
 
If you find you are unhappy at the yard you're at, don't ask for recommendations for other yards online as someone will spot it, report back to YO, and you'll get in lots of trouble for daring to look around :D
 
Be pleasant and sociable to everyone. Dont spread gossip, never say anything nasty about anybody behind their back and dont encourage others to do this either. Remember that people see things from lots of different perspectives so your way isnt always the only way. Tolerate other peoples faults in the hope that they will tolerate your faults. Be willing to help ANYONE in an emergency even if you dont really get on. No matter what happened yesterday always greet everyone cheerfully every morning - if they seem moody and grumpy pretend you havent noticed and give them some space. Accept that we are all different personalities, work out exactly what sort of relationship you can comfortably have with each individual and keep each relationship in its comfort zone. If in doubt keep your mouth shut. If a problem arises be honest and direct, and when you have said your peice put it behind you and move on - people may not always like what you say but if they know where they stand, and if you dont hold a grudge you will gain more respect and people will at least listen to you - even if you end up having to agree to disagree. Livery yards are no different than any other place where people come together except we do it twice a day every day, if we feel sad, happy, worried, ill, exhausted, harrassed, excited, lonely, distracted, or any other of the huge range of human emotions that we can all feel from time to time we will still turn up on the yard and deal with whatever the horses and the elements throw at us, and sometimes we just need to remember to cut eachother a bit of slack.
 
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