Tips with a mare?

LivB

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Hey! I have just started sharing a mare, she is very fidgety and rude when tied up, or being separated from her friend. Any help on getting her to stand still while I tack up and groom etc? She is lovely to ride, its just being tied up where she is pushy etc! She is being separated from her field mate soon, as they are getting too attached to eachother. If anyone has any tips with my mare then that would be great!
 

JackFrost

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This worked with my fidgety mare for grooming and tacking up- double tying, ie tie to two separate points a few feet apart. It holds them in place so they can't swing their head around. Once she realised she couldn't move, she stopped trying and settled.
 

MiJodsR2BlinkinTite

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Is this the first time you have dealt with a mare?? Coz it is a totally different ball game!

Not trying to put you down; but if you haven't encountered "the mare thing" then it can be a bit daunting to start with!

How does your other sharer cope with her? It might be worth getting together and deciding on some sort of strategy as really you both need to be singing off the same hymn-sheet or otherwise you're likely to confuse the mare.

Wouldn't be a bad idea either for both of you to get a professional to work alongside you and the mare for a bit too, particularly as you're going to be dealing with some separation issues.
 

LivB

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Is this the first time you have dealt with a mare?? Coz it is a totally different ball game!

Not trying to put you down; but if you haven't encountered "the mare thing" then it can be a bit daunting to start with!

How does your other sharer cope with her? It might be worth getting together and deciding on some sort of strategy as really you both need to be singing off the same hymn-sheet or otherwise you're likely to confuse the mare.

Wouldn't be a bad idea either for both of you to get a professional to work alongside you and the mare for a bit too, particularly as you're going to be dealing with some separation issues.
Hey! I have delt with mares before, yes!

The sharer has also been having issues, however they have had her almost all their life. Thanks for the tips everyone! I will give them a go ?
 

Equi

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My spud was still at this at 21 and never got better to his dying day....sorry lol. i just learned to either do things really fast or do everything in his stable where he was calmer. There was also a few spots on the yard he would stand still but they were not exactly allowed spots, so i had to be careful about who was about lol
 

Equi

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Ill also add (doing a new post rather than an edit as you have already seen last one) that ground work is a great thing to do with any horse to make sure they know to listen to you. It won't take away the fidgetiness/anxiety but it will mean you can make sure they are not barging you about or taking charge of you. My boy would be in his most moodiest mood but i could still ask him to stand for 10 seconds before i let him walk off after being untied, because barging away after you have untied is highly rude.
 

stangs

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Given that the ‘pushiness’ is coming from anxiety, I’d go with it rather than asking her to stand still - it should reduce as the separation anxiety gets better. Also when she’s away from her field mate, it’d be good for her to still see other horses or even have the chance to interact with them a little.

What was said above able stopping them from moving their head around to make them ‘settle’ is learned helplessness. And notably with that, the horse isn’t any less stressed - the only change is the behaviour. Try to work the separation anxiety, and let the rest come naturally.
 

TheMule

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I work with mares like this, not against them.
Splitting her up from her buddy is not a particularly nice thing to do- horses pair bond which provides them with their security to rest properly and be happy, social animals. I would just bring them in together, let them stand near each other when tied up and then go and enjoy your ride.
 

Pearlsacarolsinger

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I work with mares like this, not against them.
Splitting her up from her buddy is not a particularly nice thing to do- horses pair bond which provides them with their security to rest properly and be happy, social animals. I would just bring them in together, let them stand near each other when tied up and then go and enjoy your ride.


This exactly! Why cause a horse more stress than necessary? It's just asking for trouble imo.
 

LivB

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Thanks everyone for the help, I shall give them a go. It's not my desision to separate her and her buddy, but we'll see what happens, Thanks
 

LivB

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Will she now be kept alone?
I'm not sure, all I've been told is that she's being separated from her current buddy, but its most likely she will be in a field on her own with horses in fields next to her, not 100% sure though ?
 

Pearlsacarolsinger

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I'm not sure, all I've been told is that she's being separated from her current buddy, but its most likely she will be in a field on her own with horses in fields next to her, not 100% sure though ?


Poor girl! If the owner is dependent on your sharing the horse, I would try to use your influence to put a stop to this plan. She is likely to be very unsettled to ride. I do wish people would NOT treat horses like machines but remember that they all are sentient beings, with their own personalities.
 

Arzada

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So a 'rude' horse or perhaps if we use some empathy to describe her behaviour we would say that she showing considerable anxiety when separated from her friend is now to be separated from the friend permanently and may also be separated from other equines. This is cruel. I know it's not your call. However it is your choice to stay and thereby condone the treatment of this mare or leave.
 

windand rain

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Nothing to do with being a mare it is just a rude horse with no manners best way is groundwork and not to excuse it as a mare thing it really is not. Mares are easy they learn quickly and are far more loyal
 
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LivB

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I will see if she is moved with another horse before raising any concerns. Thanks all for your help again :)
 

Winters100

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Is this the first time you have dealt with a mare?? Coz it is a totally different ball game!

.

I don't really know what you mean by this. I have 1 mare and 2 geldings, and I expect all to have manners. My mare is certainly not more difficult than the geldings, so I don't really know what problems you refer to, and I treat all of mine broadly the same.

OP, what do you mean when you say that she is 'pushy'? If she fidgets do you pay attention to it? My experience with horses who fidget when tied up is that the best thing is to leave them, and to give attention when they are standing calmly. Of course I do not mean leaving a distressed horse, but if they are just irritated and impatient then they need to get over it.

Regarding her buddy I can to some extent understand separating over attached horses, but it needs to be done slowly and carefully, starting with removing one for a short time to a place where they can still be seen. To me if they get on I would probably want them to stay together in the paddock, but to learn to tolerate temporary absences. If this is not possible she should have another companion, as it would not be kind to leave her alone.

Good luck!
 

LivB

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I don't really know what you mean by this. I have 1 mare and 2 geldings, and I expect all to have manners. My mare is certainly not more difficult than the geldings, so I don't really know what problems you refer to, and I treat all of mine broadly the same.

OP, what do you mean when you say that she is 'pushy'? If she fidgets do you pay attention to it? My experience with horses who fidget when tied up is that the best thing is to leave them, and to give attention when they are standing calmly. Of course I do not mean leaving a distressed horse, but if they are just irritated and impatient then they need to get over it.

Regarding her buddy I can to some extent understand separating over attached horses, but it needs to be done slowly and carefully, starting with removing one for a short time to a place where they can still be seen. To me if they get on I would probably want them to stay together in the paddock, but to learn to tolerate temporary absences. If this is not possible she should have another companion, as it would not be kind to leave her alone.

Good luck!
Thanks! The people who I share with will be separating them, and do have a lot on experience, so hopefully if will be done slowly and carefully ?
 

Pearlsacarolsinger

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Nothing to do with being a mare it is just a rude horse with no manners best way is groundwork and not to excuse it as a mare thing it really is not. Mares are easy they learn quickly and are far more loyal


IME mares are wonderful creatures if you work with them, rather than trying to make them fit into a human shaped box, rather like trying to make the square peg ft the round hole.
 
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