To even things up - your most embarrassing/cringeworthy moments?

Going to a dressage PC comp, and telling all my friends I was absolutely pants. Then my pony was being a right sod as usual, and my mother was shouting from the side "you CAN retire Izzy, you can!"

Everyone laughed a lt, including me, and I decided I was going to do cr*p. It was so embarassing when I won on pity marks - my friends were fuming too! :L

Mistatiger - yours is very impressive! I think you win!
 
A long time ago at Wylye 3 day they had a bank with a ditch in front as the last but one fence. Got up on it OK, but could I get down again - by any route?? No way. Clear up to that point as well. They had to take down the fence to allow me to get to the Novice 2 day bank and virtually walk off it!! Held up the entire cross country for a good 15 minutes.

She was a lovely mare, not mine, and to this day I don't know what got into her.

Mortified......
 
Mine was at Little Downham BE with Jerry, it was his first event, doing the PN and after months of struggling with his showjumping he went in and actually made an effort to pic his feet up, was clear until the bell went...I have happily sailed past a fence
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Poor horse then took it out on me at his next horse trial and had 2 down - little sod
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My first Novice, mare goes well as she can in the dressage.
On to SJing, no one to do fences, so jump 1.10m sj as warm up, go to the oxer for neddie to run out, i end up on floor.. get back on finish warmng up and go to the arena, neddie is usually pretty good at SJing, only neddie tipped pole out at fence 4 and got it tangled between both front legs, shots to the side of part b for me to fall off, and snap reins in the process.
Hop back on, time is nearly out so we zoom around the rest of the course clear.
I withdraw from xc, trainer tells me to go xc. Get checked out by medics, get back on neddie with new spare reins. Warm up, get to fence 4 only for stirrup leather to break and I come off...again busting shoulder.

Drive home a bit battered.
 
That same and very challenging horse of a lifetime mentioned in the other post deciding ditches were so scary that we got eliminated at three events on the trot. Oops. The next season it was corners - not running out (I wouldn't let him
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) - just stopping dead in front of them.
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The following season it was any fence in the first five, ensuring that I came out of the start box like my life depended on it.
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Getting dumped whilst warming up for dressage at Moreton Morrell then not being able to catch the horse (Tango) until about two minutes before my test.
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The air was blue, believe me.
 
greygates, that's fantastic! I hope there was someone there to open it & let you out.

I have two...a few years ago I managed to fall off in the dressage arena. My mare was a complete bi**h & used to rear & spin for fun but I usually managed to stay on. Unfortunatley the one day she decided not to rear in a dressage test was the day she decided to get a little fast in canter & our steering failed causing her to leap out of the arena clearing the 2inch high boards by about 3feet & jumping me clean off. I landed on my bum, still in the arena whilst the little sod stopped just out of the arena looking at me as if to say 'what are you doing down there mum?'. The worst thing was the show was at our yard so all the other liveries (& plenty of other random spectators) saw it &, as it was unaffiliated & the judge was feeling kind, she came out of the box & shouted across the arena 'are you o.k? Do you want to carry on?' Funnily enough I didn't, I went back to my stable & sulked!!
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Also, last summer I decided to take Chilli to a local riding club to do a bit of jumping. My friends dad builds the WH courses there & persuaded me to have a go. Despite Chilli not really being the type for Workers (skinny TB ex-racer) he was making a fab job of the fairly solid WH course, sailing round at a good hunting pace not touching anything until fence 9. 9 was the water tray & for some reason Chilli took a dislike to it at the very last minute & stopped dead with his nose practically in it. As he's seen plenty of water trays before & the actual jump was a good 30cm smaller that all the rest I hadn't really expected any problems & sumersalted straight down his neck & landed on my back in the tray, which was full of water! Just to add insult to injury (& a very wet backside) I knew an escaped Chilli on a massive field wasn't going to be good so I kept a very firm hold on my reins which would have been a good idea if the bridle hadn't come off. Chilli ran round the field for ten minutes thinking it was his lucky day & it took 4 of us & a lunge line to corner & catch him. I don't think I'll ever do a WH class again!
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Mistatiger - you win, hands down, no question....
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BUT... Tetton Int, back in the day, anyone recall the pimple then across a field to a roll top bounce, just in front of the commentary?!
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Little Miss Confident on Mr One Eye set off guns a-blazing...
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Sadly, it (later) came to light that Mr One Eye struggled with level depth & narrowness...
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Left a leg on the pimple (and me on the floor
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), horse hooned it over to commentary (nice and public
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). Little Miss Furious found in hot pursuit (Usain Bolt watch out
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) despite a sweltering 30 degree day in July! Retrieved Mr One Eye, hopped on, big kick, and straight to the bounce. Youth has no discretion, apparently
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. To Mr One Eye's credit, we came home clear direct routes
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. That'll learn 'im.
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Mistatiger - WOW I take my hat off to you! Though having just gone clear XC must be some consolation!

Oooh so many!

Going to a sort of mounted games thing orgnaised by the Police in Chile. Riding Dona Nana (speed demon of the prev post) in the barrel race. We managed to completly miss the barrels and go straight through a group of VIP's causing them to leap for cover/safety. The group included the Police Comissioner, his aides, 2 army generals and head of the Chilean Equest. Federation and assorted hangers on. And I had to go back and apologise....
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!

Working in NZ one summer my boss asked my to take a trek out as she was feeling ill (big honour/reponsibility), to reassure the clients she had talked up my riding exp that morning. It was day 3 of a 3 day trek and I had been passing the time by flirting with one of the rather hot guys on the trek. First river we stop for a drink and my horse steps quietly left managing to leave me behind so that I land face first in the river and have to continue the ride looking like I was entering a wet t-shirt comp and my 'Whinny the Poo' kickers showing through my johds. At 18 and trying to be taken seriously I didn't find it very funny at the time though I can laugh now.

Getting spectacularly dumped in front of the head trainer at a stud after he had complimented me on doing such a good job breaking in 6 youngsters.

Jumping Beau in a HT, going clear to the second last a blue water tray. He stopped dead 5m out and refused to go any closer, this jump was of course in front of the stands.

And lots more, but they have to stand out as some of the worst.
 
my first ever BE event and i was in the lead with a 27 dressage.

went into the sj with a perfect dressage canter and fell off at fence 4...
 
Being eliminated at fence 2 in the SJ phase at a BE intro.
Not that embarrasing I hear you say. Well no, except I was on a Grade B showjumper with £1,269 notional on his card
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I think mine has to be helping out at Pony Club camp when i was about 19, little girl fell off her 11hh pony when he ran out at the second part of a double and broke her arm. Mother wanted the pony ridden through it, so asked me if i would get on board (being 5'9, but luckily quite light!!).

So the next day i joined in their ride, trotting and cantering around on this ancient pony feeling very cruel, surrounded by 9 yr olds, actually joining in the ride. Came to jumping and he popped the first few sweetly. I was being so so nice to him hoping i wasn't squashing him.

Came to the same double as the day before......and yes....the little sod ran out again....and yes.....i ended up on my ar$e in exactly the same style!! Cue mega mega embarrassment and lots of sniggering from instructor and fellow pony clubbers!!

Obviously once i 'hopped' back on board the little b*gger got a bit of a what for and was an angel the rest of the lesson!
 
I was 8 and doing my first dressage test. Small hairy pony walks straight down the centre line, out of the arena, over to judge's car, sticks head through the window and eats judge's sandwich! One judge in fits of laugher - one mortified 8 year old!
 
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I was 8 and doing my first dressage test. Small hairy pony walks straight down the centre line, out of the arena, over to judge's car, sticks head through the window and eats judge's sandwich! One judge in fits of laugher - one mortified 8 year old!

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THAT is funny! love it!

My most cringe worthy would be competing at Cricklands... on the first day of the championship points... Horse does me proud.. jumps fab... lands over the last... CLEAR woohoo... sadly we are drifting slightly to the right back towards the gate cantering away from the final fence... i look up just to late to do anything about the fact that we are cantering to the right hand side of the timing device... therefore we encured 4 faults for not going through the finish! Thats not something you do more than once thats for sure... eyes front and its not over till its over!!!! totally gutted as we were then placed on day 2 and could have been in with a chance of a medal overall! oh well!

Also had a day to forget taking a friends quirky TB mare to her first ODE... we had schooled XC a few weeks before and she went great... show day dressage went ok, SJ she was golden which was brill in itself... XC however...

i had been told to ride like ***t to the first and she would carry me round the rest... so thats what i did... bell went... left the start box... 10 strides from fence one... this happened....
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TWICE
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first one way then the other...

did pick myself up afterwards... had a leg up and got her over the first:
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did make her feelings very much known later (about fence 11) when she did it one more time, but that one i landed back first on the fence which winded me and i had to retire!

Fun times!!!

This video contains this day at the start and some others later...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGb-eWx8tZQ

(please note i am more used to a safe and much less quirky cob gelding...
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thats my excuse anyway!)
 
Qualifying for RIHS is one thing - going well once you're there quite another. Back when it was at the NEC the first "lovely" pony I got there went in rather subdued (he was usually a cocky bouncy little beggar) and things just went wrong. This culminated with him stopping, me going over his head and getting my legs hooked up on the back bar of the parallel leaving me swinging until the fence crew helped me down
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we did finish the course but... to add insult to injury the lovely BBC used the clip of me coming off for the rest of the week as part of the intro to the coverage
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Can't top Mistatiger's, but I've had a few...

I fell off at the fourth fence in a one-star (it was quite an easy fence) and my horse got stuck with the front legs on the landing side and the back legs on the take-off side. I had to drag him over by the reins. Being before the days of one fall and out, I checked him over, got back on and all credit to him, he jumped clear the rest of the way.

I also fell off in the one-star water at Hartpury, but still continued and finished the course... also have the framed sequence. Fell off in the second water at Blair too, got back on and finished. The worst is putting on the still wet boots and hat to show jump the next day.

But I think my best is that my horse knocked me over as I practised trotting up before the first horse inspection at my first one-star - not only was I left lying on the floor in the collecting ring area, I had to do my trot-up with a big mud patch on the knee of my black trousers.
 
Flashbacksj I think you have missed your vocation , you should be a stunt rider that appears to be the start of a perfect cartwheel dismount in that photo.
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Fell of in dressage test as mare took a liking for the striding to bounc eup the bak at the end of the arena and I said no. Bananaman was judging that one!

Being told to growl at a naughty horse by my instrcutor then being yelled at to shut up by the fence judge!

Having been places in 3 sj classes all of which were miracles went back in for pick your own line and horse stopped at the first neatly depositing me on the other side. Lesson learnt quit when you're ahead.

Ah also mare refusing to turn running past fence and neatly popping fence judges picnic table, got into trouble for dangerous riding that time.

Strangely enough I don't jump any more.
 
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I fell off at the fourth fence in a one-star (it was quite an easy fence) and my horse got stuck with the front legs on the landing side and the back legs on the take-off side.

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Ooh, reminds me - I got one stuck UNDER a trakehner once! He thought perhaps he'd stop, I thought perhaps he wouldn't and we slid right into the ditch. I was determined not to get off and get penalised for a fall but after he'd squished my ribs against the log a few times trying to get out I had to admit defeat. I was so f*****d off, I scrambled back on, jumped the jump and left, not realising the fence judge had radioed in in a panic and the ambulance and my coach were hightailing it across the course, convinced I was completely squished, only to find an empty ditch and a resigned fence judge.
 


Oh, I had a fabulous time getting jumped off over the wall of a gallery in an indoor arena and winding up in someone's visiting Grandma's lap.....and then three members of the arena party plus me chasing mare round...and round...and round... for 12 minutes before she finally stopped resisting arrest!

Oh, and I came off out hunting once, got carted to A and E- now, it was a Saturday, and I'd had one bottle of Pinot too much the night before, and had dragged myself out of bed at friend's house (prospective BF actually....) to find in my excitement at sleeping in a room next to said prospective BF, I'd forgotten a pair of riding suitable knickers, and since the ball the night before had involved a no knicker type dress, I was up sh1t creek with no paddle, or knickers.

Some nice junior in house Dr cut my breeches off, and came face to face with a naked bum and more!!! At least my legs and various other parts were shaved and waxed!
 
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