To return ashes or not? What did you do?

When all three of my current animals go (two dogs and horse), I don't want the ashes . . . just a memento of some sort; for Kal that'll be his shoes and part of his beautiful silver tail, for the dogs probably just their leads and photos - might have a canvas made of all three of them at some point. May be tasteless, but OH does joke about having one or both of the dogs stuffed so that they can always be curled up/sitting at the end of the sofa.

P
 
I didn't bother with either of mine, a pile of ashes on the mantelpiece is NOT my beloved pony. I took some of Misty's hair before she went for cremation, and I have some of her teeth (she was 35). I have some of both her and Harry's shoes. And lots of photos. I was also sceptical about whether you actually get back your horse's ashes, and then the Cooper incidents came to light. He actually took away Harry, and I think his SIL took Misty. My dad has known him for years in the livestock world, he wouldn't take any money for Harry, I think my dad made him take something for Misty.

I'm a very sentimental person.

Sorry for you loss.
 
I got Ruby's ashes back. She was individually cremated. Some are in a silver horseshoe necklace worn by my daughter who competed with her. Some are in a crystal urn engraved with her photo and the rest are still in the tub in a corner of the kitchen waiting till I am ready to spread them or possibly do something else with them. I have joked about making the tub into a pouffe, at least that way I still get to sit on her :eek::rolleyes:

Have also got her shoes and her tail. Just sent some hair off to a HHO'er who is making me a bracelet. Will post pics on here when I have it back.
 
Sorry to hear of your loss. It is really down to personal choice and circumstances.
I had my old boys individual ashes returned and the YO kindly buried them for me with a set of his shoes and I got a lovely apple tree to plant on top. He is next to another apple tree which I got for YO’s last horse but he didn’t have any ashes to bury.
They both are sited at the side of the front paddock in front of the yard and keep each other company. That probably sounds really silly.
My neighbour buried her horse in the field in front and she has a lovely stone sculpture with his name engraved in the open garden in between the yard, house and school.
 
my parents have our dogs back and i have my rabbit...

when either of mine go i will have them back.
1/2 of the boy i will take out to ireland where he came from (co cork)when i get the chance, and ill keep the other 1/2 (somewhere)...
im not to sure where the girl would go, but ill find somewhere in the end.

some may think its a little strange, but i like the idea of taking them back to where they began, and knowing where they end up in the end.
 
So very sorry to hear about Rodney. Colic is a vile and indiscriminate disease and I hope that one day we find some treatment which will prevent anyone else going through what you are suffering. Big hugs from me to you.

As I write this I see that you've already made your decision about him, but, just for the record, I did have my old boy's ashes back when I lost him. It just seemed like the right thing to do. We used to,ride through a lovely wood, and so I took him back up there and scattered him beside his favourite canter. I still ride there now and always remember him as I ride past "his" tree.
 
When the time comes for my boy to be pts I will have an individual cremation and his ashes returned .
I am then going to send some of the ashes away to be made into a diamond which will then become a ring so he will be with me forever !
It's expensive about 4k to make the diamond but if I have his ashes back I can save for it .
I've had him 16 years so I feel like I owe him that at least .

With my sisters horse that got pts we had group cremation and had cut some mane off and kept her shoes !

Most importantly whatever you decide doesn't really matter it's your memories which are important !
Really sorry to hear about your horse just think of all the good times you had together it will see you through xx
 
I'm really sorry for your loss...it must be absoloutely heartbreaking...some years back I saw someone had put ashes in a big eggtimer, that's what I'm going to do with my parents one day...I don't know, it seems a nice thing to do. And a possible option? I wish you peace with whatever you choose to do...hugs.x
 
Im choosing not to . but its such a personal choicee. no wrong no right
i will keep a peice of her mane and hopefullly plant an apple tree up at the yard where she found so much happiness .
 
I think unless you can scatter the ashes then there is no point. I know it's a bit different but when my dog passed away we planted a tree at the gate of his favourite walk, scattered the ashes and kept a tiny little bit to put in a little tiny box with his name engraved that sits on the mantlepeice. I'm really sorry for your loss x
 
I honestly think you just have to go with your gut.

With my dog their was absolutely no discussion, we were having individual and ashes back. A small amount went into a pendant around my neck, the rest is still on the mantelpiece.

With Henry, he went to the hounds and I'm glad he did. It feels very fitting that he's part of them now. We didn't take hair or anything from him, but that's only cos my OH isn't sentimental like that - when our old mare goes at the end of the summer, we will take hair from her.
 
ShadowFlame said:
It's come to the point where I need to make a decision. Because of the amount of drugs Rodney had in his system when he passed, our only real option is cremation. The question is whether to do group and not have ashes returned, or individual and he'll be returned.

My gut is telling me individual, my head is asking what on earth I would do with the ashes anyway.

I need to decide within the next hour, really.

Help :(
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I always want my ashes returned, its down to the individual.

My plan for my three is they will stay in the loft till my time. Then my family are aware my ashes to be put with theirs so we will be together,

I am planting a tree thursday which is Diamonds birthday. I have loads dog tags on it which used to be on her tack.

Why don't you try individual then maybe get a nice apple tree which he would have loved and put his ashes in a hole under the tree so you have somewhere to go to feel close and his spirit will go on in a living tree.??

I chose Sunset apple as sunset set would come through her window.
 
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I decided not to have the ashes back, but instead had a portrait done to remember my mare by x
 
OP Why don't you get the ashes back and then take your time to decide what you want to do with them. Your not really in good thinking space to rush into it now :)
 
I thought I would want my horses back but after having the ashes of my two beloved cats back I really can't relate them to the cats and so I have decided that I won't have the ashes of horse back tho have already taken some tail hair he caught on a snag and have kept that (he is a big chap and 20 so don't know how many years he will have).

I don't think you will regret no having them, provided (and this is important) you have something eg some tail hair or a shoe or something like that, that enables you to feel them close by and with you.
 
Leviathan said:
OP Why don't you get the ashes back and then take your time to decide what you want to do with them. Your not really in good thinking space to rush into it now :)
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To be honest, that was the plan, as they originally estimated £600ish for group, or £800ish for private. When it came to getting solid quotes, there was a far bigger difference between the two.

Planting a tree is a lovely idea... the problem being he was kept on a livery yard (which we'd only been on for 9mths), and I'm hoping to move house within the next 12mths or so. I will definitely have a bracelet / necklace made from his tail (his tail was so thick there's easily enough for both... or 15 of them!), his shoes will be kept, and I'm thinking I'll have a tattoo done of him if I can find a good enough artist.

My gut still tells me maybe I should have had the ashes... but I'm having flashbacks to when my Nan and Grandad's ashes were returned. They didn't comfort me, they just made me uneasy.
 
I had my boys ashes back, it all happened so quickly that it was just the obvious thing to do. It really upset me when he was returned, it seemed to strange to think that the last time I saw him he was a huge black fluffball of attitude and now he was in a box...I found it really strange.
I havnt yet scattered him yet as I cant bare too, but my mum did make me put him in the garage :o The plan was orginally to scatter him at the yard, then we were going to bury him but now im back to scattering him somewhere. I would love to bury him and plant an apple tree, but my garden just isnt big or nice enough. I think its down to personal choice, I had a bracelet made from his tail, and thats a nice reminder of him and also I have my general memories of him.
 
I went for the group option, as a part part of my chap would be there as I could not afford the individual one. I did have the ashes back this was my choice and everyone has different reasons for what ever they decide. Sorry to hear about your loss it is never easy.
 
ShadowFlame said:
To be honest, that was the plan, as they originally estimated £600ish for group, or £800ish for private. When it came to getting solid quotes, there was a far bigger difference between the two.

Planting a tree is a lovely idea... the problem being he was kept on a livery yard (which we'd only been on for 9mths), and I'm hoping to move house within the next 12mths or so. I will definitely have a bracelet / necklace made from his tail (his tail was so thick there's easily enough for both... or 15 of them!), his shoes will be kept, and I'm thinking I'll have a tattoo done of him if I can find a good enough artist.

My gut still tells me maybe I should have had the ashes... but I'm having flashbacks to when my Nan and Grandad's ashes were returned. They didn't comfort me, they just made me uneasy.
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Well at least if you have his ashes back, when you move you can plant one. And when things are less painful you can make up your mind where to put him.

When you go for a tattoo, find one that can do portraits, mine didn't so I am having it redone to be more like her. A portrait tattooist can make them more lifelike when it comes to replica's.

With due respect human ashes some times feel different to keep than an animal. Take your time its too raw to make serious decisions.

Go with your gut feeling its usually never wrong.:)
 
Leviathan said:
Well at least if you have his ashes back, when you move you can plant one. And when things are less painful you can make up your mind where to put him.

When you go for a tattoo, find one that can do portraits, mine didn't so I am having it redone to be more like her. A portrait tattooist can make them more lifelike when it comes to replica's.

With due respect human ashes some times feel different to keep than an animal. Take your time its too raw to make serious decisions.

Go with your gut feeling its usually never wrong.:)
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I'm guessing by now that he's already been sent for group cremation. I don't think I'll regret the decision... having ashes back is more likely to just re-open the wound.

I'm going to do some research on good portrait artists, I'm sure there are a few around that are supposed to be very good, but I want to check out their work first. I just need to debate where to have it done... and whether to laser off a "general" horsey tattoo and put him in it's place, or put it in an entirely new location. As it feels like my right arm has been lopped off, it seems fitting to have it there, but that would probably mean lasering the other one first (and at 5hrs inking, it's not a small one).
 
At the time I just wanted my old boy out of his misery so the ashes didnt feature high on the list I do sometimes wish I had scattered him in his field. But the cost I would rather make a donation to a charity and help some other beastie. I couldnt justify price plus did wonder when I saw how big a box it would be. Even if he ended up in a pit with other animals at least he was with other animals. Gone to ground, we all end up in one way or another. At end of day its what people want. Everyone is different.
 
My boy is in a very nice wooden casket with a plaque with name and date sitting in my fireplace in my lounge. Yes I am completely nuts but I am happy and he doesn't mind and we can still have a chat. I did mean to sprinkle the ashes in his field but haven't quite brought myself to be able to part with him and maybe never will. He left me Oct 2010 after 22 years. You do want you want, your horse won't mind, All we have to do is to have the courage to do the right thing when the time comes x
 
By the way, its quite a large casket weighing about 4 stone, my poor other half had to collect from the vet and really did know how to present it to me in my so recently bereaved state at the time!
 
ShadowFlame said:
I'm guessing by now that he's already been sent for group cremation. I don't think I'll regret the decision... having ashes back is more likely to just re-open the wound.

I'm going to do some research on good portrait artists, I'm sure there are a few around that are supposed to be very good, but I want to check out their work first. I just need to debate where to have it done... and whether to laser off a "general" horsey tattoo and put him in it's place, or put it in an entirely new location. As it feels like my right arm has been lopped off, it seems fitting to have it there, but that would probably mean lasering the other one first (and at 5hrs inking, it's not a small one).
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There re many on my website

I can highly recommend Karen Herbert

I have 4 of hers in my house and many liveries have her work. She has also worked on Whiskers Calender

Here is one of mine, scuse the fact its taken through glass



http://www.petportraits.freeserve.co.uk/
This is her link






.
 
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teamsarazara said:
I think unless you can scatter the ashes then there is no point.
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Sorry I do not agree. I have kept my mare since 1995 I still have her in the casket. I am not scattering them yet as I have explained I want to be in the ground with them.

I know many friends who have kept their caskets. You can't say there is no point when I have given you one point?? You can say I don't see the point.
 
Leviathan said:
Sorry I do not agree. I have kept my mare since 1995 I still have her in the casket. I am not scattering them yet as I have explained I want to be in the ground with them.

I know many friends who have kept their caskets. You can't say there is no point when I have given you one point?? You can say I don't see the point.
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I think it is clear that the poster is saying that in her opinion there is no point, she obviously can't speak for everyone and I don't think she is trying to! :rolleyes:

SF, Rodney will always be with you, no matter where the ashes of his big hairy body end up xx
 
Billie1007 said:
I think it is clear that the poster is saying that in her opinion there is no point, she obviously can't speak for everyone and I don't think she is trying to! :rolleyes:

SF, Rodney will always be with you, no matter where the ashes of his big hairy body end up xx
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Definitely... that bl**dy horse has etched himself in :p the memories aren't going anywhere x
 
mines in my office upstairs in a box (individual)

it was nice fora few months and then im just at a loss what to do with them - i am thinking of getting a nice necklace made from them to be honest :)
 
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