To sell or not to sell??

[foxtrot]

My friend has asked me for advise and iv not a clue what to suggest....can anyone shine a light??

My friend is an adult very nervous rider, he has for a year now owned a older extremely quiet native type but only been out on her a handful of times. She is now extremely obese not due to much grazing (iv seen what she's on and i would say it ok) but i think it's due to the fact she is a good doer and getting no exercise.
My friend has now asked me do i think the fairest thing for him to do is sell her?? as she is getting wasted and quite frankly is becoming quite unhealthy!! he has asked does he now have to give up his dreams of ever getting his confidence back??
I think he just needs another person to ride along with to give him the motivation to get back into the saddle but due to his location (rural, no horsey neighbours) this is quite difficult. This also makes it difficult to find someone to ride the horse on a regular basis.
What do you all think, i would hate to be the one to suggest he gives up and then to later perhaps get the blame?

 

[Silmarillion]

Would it be an option to get a sharer? Confidence-giving types are always sought after so I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult to find someone. Mare could then get some exercise and your friend could ride whenever he wanted, whether that's once in a blue moon or more often.

 

[Ibblebibble]

where does your friend keep his horse?, is he at a yard where he could get some help and a riding partner. sometimes it's hard to get motivated if you have no one else around you.

 

[sue12345]

No, keep her. If she's a good confidence giver then she is the one that he'll get his confidence back with. Can he lunge her to give her exercise or even walk out in hand ,this would help both of them and as his confidence comes back so will his motivation.

 

[foxtrot]

the horse is kept on a private property and in a very rural location making it quite costly in transport for someone to get there for riding

 

[be positive]

Could he either move her somewhere else so he could have the support he needs to get going again,or offer ,if he has the space, free or cheap keep to someone that could help him get riding or exercise the pony at times.
There are always people looking for somewhere to keep a pony and this could be the ideal solution. Even if the property is isolated there are some advantages,good quiet hacking being the most obvious one.

 

[Foaling Around]

Right - I know this is probably going to sound pretty harsh and I appologise if I'm out of line, but I think the question is (or appears to me...) more whether your friend wants to ride anymore or not? I understand losing your confidence is not nice, but if this horse is the perfect confidence giving type, and he's had him for a year already.........

Would he be looking to sell and give up? Or looking for something else? Is he happy looking after the horse? Is it more that he feels guilty that he feels like he SHOULD be riding him?

Does he do much in-hand work with him? Doing a bit of lunging/long reing or even taking him for walks in hand would help exercise wise and help strengthen their bond, and hopefully increasing your friends confidence? I think the sharer idea is great though if he is feeling guilty about the horse not being ridden - how rural are we talking? Doesn't hurt to put up some notices - people are willing to travel suprisingly far.

Also, how close are you? Could you box a horse there to ride out with a few times to go out with him? Or can you just go up and ride him then see if your friend is more confident with you around? Or could he get an instructor, not necessarily for schooling as such, but just for someone to be there and shed light on things and be on the ground. Could it be more a cry for help than genuinely wanting to sell? Does he always have to ride on his own? That can not help the confidence at all.

But if it is the genuine end of the road and your friend has tried and just doesn't enjoy it anymore, then sell, but I cannot think of many people that this would be the case with. Personally I think there is a lot more to try before you advise selling.

(And with regards to "wasted potential" - what does the horse know of potential? That wouldn't worry me, but yes the weight definately needs addressing)