To swap or not to swap......

S

Sarahgema

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I have been offered a swap for my 15.2hh, 6 yr old section D that i share with Taffster. Someone wanst him for driving and have offered me a 16.2hh, 6 yr old warmblood mare that has had a foal and not done much since but is very quiet.
I'm going to see it tomorrow but not sure what to do. I love my section D's and don't wana give up on this lad but I don't get on with him at all, (suppose I can't click with every horse and I've been lucky so far and got on with every thing I've bought) Thought could at least look at the warmblood and weigh up pros and cons.......
 
Being the suspicious sort that I am, make sure this mare didn't have a foal because she was unsound... otherwise give it a go, if you don't get on with the horse you have, you are going to have to sell him or pass him on in some way. Just don't make a snap decision.
 
You've only had it two minutes - you don't forge a relationship overnight.

However, if he's frightened you after your incident the other day, then it's definately a good idea to let someone more experienced have him.

Personally, I wouldn't swap him for the mare - as you may well find yourself in exactly the same position.

Do some more ground work with the Section D to get him to be a more confident and happy chap - then perhaps look to sell him on after Christmas and then buy yourself something more suitable.

What does Taffster want to do?
 
I know, I bought the D knowing he was nervous and I can cope with that and have alot of time for horses and their problems, but there seems something suspicious about his nervousness. Hes fin one minute and flips the next, Weds night for example, |I was stroking him in the stable for about 15 mins, just giving him general love and he was fine, then went out of stable and back in and the minute I opened door he launched at dor ears on neck, teeth open and ran at me.
Hes also fine when you stroke him, lift tail up, etc but then the next minute he will be terified of you anywhere near him. I just haven't clicked with him and feel sorry for him, but unfortunately thats as far as it goes. Lovely sweet lad he is just not for me
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Only thing is I share this horse with someone, don't want tog ive up on him but don't think its fair to keep him when I have these feelings towards him! Hes obviously had a very bad past at some point and deserves alot better!
 
I wouldn't swap, as AmyMay said, it takes a while to forge a relationship with a new horse, and even more so with one that is scared, nervous or been subject to rough handling. I found Wonka so difficult at first, we would go 2 steps forward and 50 steps back. I had to change my way of thinking and stop getting frustrated with him as we were going round in circles. I found that Wonka was always on the defensive, he wouldn't give you an opportunity to do something that may have the potential to "get" him. He wanted to trust me, but just couldn't.

After nearly 3 months of this, someone recommended join up to me. I am not an advocate of natural horsemanship as branded, I do think some aspects are good and provided you have someone who is with you who knows what they are doing and can oversee things, but I would never rely on it wholeheartedly, and what may work for one horse may not work for another - you have to customise it to suit your horse. Anyway, I digress. It took Wonka and I 2 and a half hours (we are both as stubborn as the other) before we joined up. That was the turning point for us. We took everything slowly, and I had to take time to show him that not everything was out to eat him, we moved to a smaller yard where there was an established routine which he thrives on, and now, a year and a half on, my beloved little Wonky Donkey is about to embark on a new adventure with a little girl who will be taking him home on Sunday.

The thing I was trying to get at is, you have to persevere (sp) with any horse, but one that has a history is going to take so much longer and nothing but time and effort, no matter how many knockbacks is the only thing that will help. He has to know that he can trust you and until he does, he won't let his defences down.

If I can help at all PM me
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I wouldn't swap, merely for the fact that a horse that can flip without any notice, is safer ridden than driving - could cause a serious accident if he took of down a road or bucked. Plus how do you know you aren't going to be in the same position with the wb mare who could have a whole host of issues you don't know about. If she's a nice wb type who has bred a good foal, she wouldn't be swapping her, but selling her for good money. I would keep him till the new year, and then sell him and find something more suitable for yourself that you enjoy riding.
 
My friend would only be doing it for me as a favour because she knows I don't get on with the horse and don't like havin ghim around, hes a lovely friendly chap and wants kisses and cuddles and I think he needs someone with more time. As me and Taffster each have another 2 horses each this isn't always possible. I would make the time tospend with him if Ithought I was getting anywhere but I think I may be fighting a losing battle. I am still riding him around 4 times a week to keep him ticking over, I'm not scared of him after the 'accident' but it goes without saying I am now weary of him especially as I am on a massive yard where anyone very rarely gets an arena to theirselves so I do have to watch for 'numptys' flapping arms and clapping hands behind him!
For someone who had time he would be so loving because he does want to trust and love but is scared to. I have started alot of groundwork with him, starting join-up but once again the arena 'issue' caused me to stop!
I feel I am fighting a losing battle because of time, space, people, trust. etc, like mentioned previously i don't want to give him pon him becuase hes going to be stunner for the show ring but feels like the odds are stacked against me!
 
I think you've bitten off more than you can chew, but don't want to admit it......

And the result is - this poor horse is about to get passed on again.

Poor chap.
 
Like i said previously, I would keep him, but I dont get on with the horse and dont think it would be fair on him. People on this forum ibviously think it would be better for me t stick at it, but hes not happy and neither am I.
i have had a lesson on him tonight (so that proves that I am trying) my instructor also thinks that this horse has alot of issues and will take at least 18 months to sort out.
maybe this is true, maybe she just giving up on him either or just not competant enough???
 
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I think you've bitten off more than you can chew, but don't want to admit it......

And the result is - this poor horse is about to get passed on again.

Poor chap.

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Its took us over a year with our welsh D. I couldn't sell him on as he probably would have been passed from pillar to post. Nervous horses need stability in their lives for it to work out.
 
Please do bear in mind that this horse could end up in a downward spiral because he has 'issues'. I can understand how disheartening it can be if you feel that you are not 'getting on' with a horse, but please remember they are not humans, don't fall into the trap of anthropomorphising them. I don't think he does want lots of hugs and kisses, what he needs is someone to understand what he is trying to communicate, someone who will become a herd leader for him and who will reassure him and give him the confidence he so desperately needs.

How about considering calling out a Kelly Marks Recommended Associate, so if you do feel that he is not right for you and vice versa you can find a good home, but you will already have worked on his issues and have helped him in life.
 
I wouldn't swop. If you and he really aren't getting on then take the time to find him the right home that has got time for his issues, I feel he will have a better chance of overcoming them with a dedicated person, rather than someone who in essence is just taking him off your hands because you don't like him.
 
haha this was a laugh reading what people have put on this conversation.
I can empathise with sarahgema as i believe not every horse can be turned round and please AMYMAY dont try and patronise me like you have Sarahgema saying that she has bitten off more than she can chew!!! thats hilarious im guessing you are a comedian for your day job! haha
I understand that there are alot of numpties out there that ruin good horses and unfortunatley they dont all come back round!
I have had many nervous horses and on and turned them round to be fantastic competition or family horses, but on saying that if a horse has been badly treated for a long time some of them dont have the kind of personalities that will go back to being a nice horse again. Some of them are only good to be pets as issues can cause serious accidents! I am glad to have read a later conversation that Sarahgema has swoped this horse with serious psychological problems, for a mare that sounds nice.

Hope you have better luck with this one!
 
At least I can actually get support on this forum, which after all that is all I was after.
There has been alot of nice comments and support on here and alot of nasty comments but I suppose I was always going to do what I wanted to do anyway as I was the one who had to look after and ride this horse every day. Plus until people on here actually saw how bad this horse actually was they never had a right to comment in the first place so maybe it was a 'fragile' subject for me to post on here, next tie il be more careful.
At last someone joined who actually talks sense, im sure you'll all join me in wlecoming 'Scrapeesh' to the forum.
 
Good Grief. I've only just caught up with this but I assume this was the Welsh you bought cheap from the guy who advertised that it needed a long term knowledgeable home. I thought it was pretty off that you bought it to deal on anyway but to have had the poor thing such a short time and then to swap it out to someone who is going to have big problems if he's as dreadful as you say . . . words really fail me at this point
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"Registered Welsh Section D. Good natured but nervous, needs experienced patient adult to reschool and continue his education. Not suitable for a child or novice. For sale through no fault of his own. Long trm knowledgeable home main priority. History and full infomation available."

Poor poor horse.

Oh and btw I have a very nervous Welsh of my own - that's why I noticed the ad. They are very rewarding if you are prepared to work with them and understand WHY they behave as they do.
 
It sounds as though you dont have the time or patience to deal with this horse. He sounds like he needs to be on a smaller yard with a one to one relationship and you and the other owner already have other horses.

I would try to find him a home that really did have the time and patience to work through his issues. It might be difficult to find such a home, what with the present economic climate and time of the year, but there will be someone out there who would be willing to take him on.

I would suspect that he has been mistreated, rather than mishandled in a previous home to have those kind of issues. The stable thing can be sorted out in a couple of months with consistent handling, but it sounds as though he has other issues which would take years to overcome - not months. I am sorry, but if you had the experience to take on such a project, you would have known this without having to be told by your instructor.

Seems like a shame for the horse. Judging from the ad above though, this was definitely not the kind of horse that you could make money on "dealing" unless you were a certain kind of dealer.
 
I would ask myself if I really needed another horse to replace him as you say you have 2 already & if time is tight then why not sell him to a private home & hope they are not going to buy him to sell him on
 
How can you swap/sell or whatever if said horse is owned in partnership? SG, you have blown your own trumpet re schooòing, showing blah, blah and yet you dont have the time or patience to sort out this boy who seems desperate for restarting. IMO, you are full of your own self importance and should never have gone near him in the first place. I have deep doubts regarding your ability and honesty. I think you are an attention seeker and Im sorry that this poor horse is being used as your puppet. Sell him and stick to what you already have. Mairi.
 
Its clear you haven't been involved in any of my posts right from the start....not implying that you'd want to because I certainly wouldn't want you to be involved with your one track mind.
You clearly haven't had a thought for the horse as if you had you wouldn't have wanted him to be left in a home where he wasn't wanted.
As for your sad, pathetic opinions you have of me, keep them to yourself, did your parents never teach you 'if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all?' the post was never about me it was simply a question, 'would you swap or not?' you you had to stoop so low and turn it around is beyond me.
As for the horse in question, he was never going to be passed anywhere I didn't know where he is as no matter what you may think I'm not that sort of person and just incase you are interested, I took him to my friend who is a man and he is doing alot better, clearly a mans horse from the start, but like alot of people have stated, no-one knows what has happened to this horse in the past so lets all just keep our fingers crossed for his future.
 
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i think you should have shot it. bloody things like that need a bullet. Ive had to shoot the last 4 i have had.

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Who, the rider or the horse?
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M.
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Its clear you haven't been involved in any of my posts right from the start....not implying that you'd want to because I certainly wouldn't want you to be involved with your one track mind.
You clearly haven't had a thought for the horse as if you had you wouldn't have wanted him to be left in a home where he wasn't wanted.
As for your sad, pathetic opinions you have of me, keep them to yourself, did your parents never teach you 'if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all?' the post was never about me it was simply a question, 'would you swap or not?' you you had to stoop so low and turn it around is beyond me.
As for the horse in question, he was never going to be passed anywhere I didn't know where he is as no matter what you may think I'm not that sort of person and just incase you are interested, I took him to my friend who is a man and he is doing alot better, clearly a mans horse from the start, but like alot of people have stated, no-one knows what has happened to this horse in the past so lets all just keep our fingers crossed for his future.

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Open forum my dear therefore my opinion is as valid as another.If you cant stand the heat, get out of the kitchen
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. me thinks that you are full of the 'proverbial'! Mairi.
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It would be nice to receive an apology from yourself and Tafster, as it seems my advice to you both 2 weeks ago has proven to be correct.


i won't hold my breath...
 
Hands up all those who shall loose sleep over this poster and her poor horse. Wot, no hands!
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Ah yes, a few hands for the horse
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. M.
ps, get over yourself girl
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