To "turn away" or not to "turn away", that is the question!

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JFTD said:
I think that FC is possibly suggesting that the fact that you are attempting to keep an unbroken 3 year old in individual turnout, and are unsure of whether you should move/ how to deal with her behaviour, suggests you might not be experienced enough for a youngster - especially since you're on a budget and have limited back up. That may be the case. However...

You'll only improve things by turning her away - you will give yourself more time to adjust to your move, and probably free up some money to put towards getting help when you come to backing her next year. Her behaviour and her manner should improve, and she should be happier. Staying put will - probably - do the opposite.

Leave the guilt, and the other issues (children etc) out of it - they're not helping. Make the best decision for the horse, and that will free up mental space for you to sort out any other issues in your life.
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Budget? I can't afford the extortionate rates of another livery, wouldn't say that's tight budgeting. I can deal with her behaviour perfectly fine, dealt with a damn site worse at a lot older, but she did not come that way. The environmental situation I have put her in has made her that way, not my training, else she would have deteriorated when I bought her (she came on in leaps and bounds in fact before all this faff). What I am looking for is advice and reassurance without prejudice, as I've taken so called "advice" far too much to heart. I am vunerable and suceptable to bad advice (I also cannot spell) which goes against my better judgement and experience. So I agree with you, turn away and get my head straight, thank you 😊
 
Siobhanelizabeth said:
Never uprooted my son and horse to move 180 miles away before, on my own with very little support from anyone as they think I'm mad, so yes, I'm probably a little out of my depth and insecure, doubting I that I know what's best in every aspect of my life, not just my horses.
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I think this is even more of a reason to turn her away, it sounds like you have had a pretty stressful time of it, at least if she is turned away it will give you some breathing space especially if she really settles which I think she will, she is less of a worry and seeing her happy will make you feel so much better.

I really hope you start to feel better about things don't doubt yourself, please let us know how things are going.
 
Pinkvboots said:
I think this is even more of a reason to turn her away, it sounds like you have had a pretty stressful time of it, at least if she is turned away it will give you some breathing space especially if she really settles which I think she will, she is less of a worry and seeing her happy will make you feel so much better.

I really hope you start to feel better about things don't doubt yourself, please let us know how things are going.
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That's kind of you, thanks. Want to make me feel better about me also having to move my little boys school as they don't do after school club late enough 😂

It is what's best for her, just hard when you get "oh fgs you're moving her again!" 😤
 
Siobhanelizabeth said:
That's kind of you, thanks. Want to make me feel better about me also having to move my little boys school as they don't do after school club late enough 😂

It is what's best for her, just hard when you get "oh fgs you're moving her again!" 😤
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You have had a big upheaval your are going to feel vulnerable, thing is she is not happy so another move is not going to upset her she is already upset, ignore those people you know her behaviour has changed and your doing something about it.
 
Siobhanelizabeth said:
It is what's best for her, just hard when you get "oh fgs you're moving her again!" 😤
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The horse world is full of people who think they know more than you do or better than you. Some will and some won't. But the only person whose opinion you NEED to listen to is yours - ultimately only you know what is best for YOU.

There's absolutely no question that I would chuck you mare out to grass with others, she sounds (rightly) totally miserable and you will be doing her a HUGE justice by giving her company.
 
I bought my little mare a couple of months ago. Took her to a yard new to both of us. It wasn't as described, she wasn't happy and we moved last week. She wasn't causing any issues really, but was very, very edgy and unsettled. Shes a little bit older than yours at nearly 5 but I didn't think twice about moving her and wouldn't again. Shes now out 24/7 on a huge hilly field with a settled herd of 4 others. Shes much happier already.
 
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