Toddlers and Horses

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Stenners

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Those of you with toddlers and horses on DIY and working - how do you do it?!!! What's your routine?

I've had horses all my life and stopped owning when I fell pregnant almost 3 years ago as I loaned my ex racer out and then sold him so I'm currently horseless! I'm riding 3 times a week for a friend but desperate to have my own again (I really would love the one i'm riding!!)
I just wonder how you all do it whilst working aswell?
 
I am up and out and back home by 7ish am. Back to yard about 7:30pm. Partners day off is a bit more flexible as I can spend more time at the yard. Its exhausting tbh ;)
 
I also wonder how you cope with husband or partners that aren't that supportive (mine is more than happy around them but doesn't agree I should have one again). He doesn't like eating late so i wouldnt get to yard till gone 7.30 and not keen on me getting up early and going as means he has to get my daughter up until i get back (he's great with her but he's a workaholic and would rather just get on with his day than the faff of children!)
 
Strapped in the car with Iplayer on until horses are turned out. They will love to play with the hay and poo and help mucking out, and ride in the wheelbarrow or have their own. If you know you are the only people around and it is safe, I let mine scooter around with a bell on so I know where they are. It won't be fast or productive but it is possible. They quickly get used to routine.
 
I have a 2.5 year old son... I lost my horse last year and, although I really want another, I've just accepted it's not going to happen while our son is little. OH was very supportive historically, but now that I've not had a horse for a year, there's no way he'd want to go back to that. It's a lifestyle, not a hobby - and an all-consuming one at that. It's also money; childcare is sooooo expensive. And there just aren't enough hours in the day (for me) to have a horse on DIY, commute to work, do the nursery pick up, run the house, do healthy meal plans and cook, and make sure the dog is walked, trained and happy every day. I'm also trying to progress my career, which means some out of work hours personal development... it's really not wise for me to add to my mental burden any more right now! And let's face it, they can be stressful creatures at times ;)

I've created a spreadsheet for when I do get a horse again, updating my previous horse-owning costs to include things I didn't do before e.g. full livery, and additional things I hadn't considered previously (like annual radiographs of hooves) and calculated how much it'll cost to do comfortably. The figure my spreadsheet has churned out has put me off until I'm at least 1 pay grade higher than I am now, and/or little one has started school so no more nursery fees. Hoping once he starts school, life might be a bit less hectic?!

I did have a couple of goes at part loaning but I've had to end two because the horses were lame, and another royally bucked me off (tbh I'm not 100% convinced that didn't have some mild lameness somewhere, but maybe I'm just making excuses and I was just too sh** a rider for it :p). the one was on a yard that I could take my toddler to, but obvs couldn't ride with him around, and a 45 minute job (muck out, hay, water, feeds) would take 2 hours.

Going back to part-loaning is VERY difficult when you've had your own in any case. I'm now just going to have a few lessons and hacks here and there, keep me ticking over until I'm ready to take the plunge again. Don't get me wrong, it's killing me, but it's just not realistic right now.

If you do take the plunge, good luck to ya ;) it IS possible, of course, as people do it (and I would have been still, if I hadn't lost my horse last year) - it ain't easy though!
 
Thanks for your thoughts!

I am very grateful to be able to ride the one I do but it's not the same but I'd rather this way than nothing at all! If he was ever offered to me I think i'd jump at the chance and some how make it work! We are lucky our yard is very child friendly!
 
I started sharing my friend's horse when she had babies. She found doing the jobs was manageable (either with the kids in tow or leaving them at home with her supportive but shift working husband) but rarely had time to ride. Her biggest problem was morning turnout if her husband was on an early shift as she'd have to be home by 5.40 for him to be in work by 6. She couldn't do it once the kids had woken up and take them with her as she had to be in work for 8.30 herself and it all took too long. That's one of the reasons why it worked so well between us - I was flexible so could switch mornings based on his shifts. As the kids got (much) older - they're now 16 and 15 - and could be left alone, she found mornings suited her better as they needed ferrying around to all their different activities after school. I shared him for 13 years and only stopped 2 years ago when he was 23 and her son was doing more with him. In that 13 years I reckon she only rode him 20% of the time he got ridden.

I wonder if motorbike or sailing or other traditionally male dominated forums are full of men wondering how to manage toddlers and their hobbies? I know horses are more than a hobby but still.....
 
I'll be honest, the only way I manage all three is by being lucky enough to work part time and have the horses at home. Even then, I don't ride nearly as much as I'd like and my rising 6yo is making very slow progress.
If I was working full time and DIY I would probably be waiting until my little one was older, although the idea of not having a horse fills me with horror. You can't get back the years with them when they're little and it passes so quickly. I've never heard of anyone looking back and saying they wished they'd spent less time with their kids!
 
Annagain said:
I started sharing my friend's horse when she had babies. She found doing the jobs was manageable (either with the kids in tow or leaving them at home with her supportive but shift working husband) but rarely had time to ride. Her biggest problem was morning turnout if her husband was on an early shift as she'd have to be home by 5.40 for him to be in work by 6. She couldn't do it once the kids had woken up and take them with her as she had to be in work for 8.30 herself and it all took too long. That's one of the reasons why it worked so well between us - I was flexible so could switch mornings based on his shifts. As the kids got (much) older - they're now 16 and 15 - and could be left alone, she found mornings suited her better as they needed ferrying around to all their different activities after school. I shared him for 13 years and only stopped 2 years ago when he was 23 and her son was doing more with him. In that 13 years I reckon she only rode him 20% of the time he got ridden.

I wonder if motorbike or sailing or other traditionally male dominated forums are full of men wondering how to manage toddlers and their hobbies? I know horses are more than a hobby but still.....
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I hope this is the case with the one I am riding now! I really don't think she will ever sell or loan him but she's rarely rides him herself - once in a blue moon.
 
Nudibranch said:
I'll be honest, the only way I manage all three is by being lucky enough to work part time and have the horses at home. Even then, I don't ride nearly as much as I'd like and my rising 6yo is making very slow progress.
If I was working full time and DIY I would probably be waiting until my little one was older, although the idea of not having a horse fills me with horror. You can't get back the years with them when they're little and it passes so quickly. I've never heard of anyone looking back and saying they wished they'd spent less time with their kids!
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I think I know deep down you are right! She's almost 2.5 and growing up so quickly - just on the other hand I'd love my own horse and for us to go and play ponies!!
 
Annagain said:
I wonder if motorbike or sailing or other traditionally male dominated forums are full of men wondering how to manage toddlers and their hobbies? I know horses are more than a hobby but still.....
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My OH barely touches his motorbike these days. Not for lack of me trying to encourage him, mind! I don't get it with him at the moment; I'm a bit worried, to be honest, but he claims he's fine and goes all defensive if I try to encourage him to get out and about. But we digress...


OP, I'd caution against it if your OH isn't on board with the idea. It could be a serious source of resentment while little one is so young, and demanding of your time and attention. I totally get the frustration though! :(
 
My little girl will be 3 in July and she has had to come to the yard with me since day 1, when she was small, she was in the car near the stable block or school whilst I did what I needed to do, or now she will happily sit on the mounting block whilst I ride because she gets to ride her pony after me.
 
With assistance from very supportive MIL and parents !!!
My daughter is currently on maternity leave and back riding.
 
I quit DIY and chose part livery so that I only need to groom, tack up and ride. And I have a very sweet girl that hacks out twice weekly so that I have a few days off where I can actually eat with hubs and son.
 
I've had to accept I can't have my own atm. My toddler is 1 and I've just given up my share as I could manage the jobs but was rarely getting time to ride. My plan is RS and hacking a friend's mare until my littlest is in school. Even then, it's still hard when they're older. My 6 yo enjoyed coming to share horse's yard when there were other children around but I felt very guilty when it was quiet and she'd inevitably end up in the car staring at a screen.
 
Update!

I now have the horse on loan and potentially about to buy him! It's working well so far - I only go once a day as his owners (who have 3 others there) check him the other end of the day and they will bring him in at night for me in the winter! my daughter comes down at the weekend and loves it!

We are luckily our yard is very kid friendly and lots of grazing so they are out 24/7 in summer. They can be out all year round if we choose but he will come in when it gets awful.
 
Stenners said:
Update!

I now have the horse on loan and potentially about to buy him! It's working well so far - I only go once a day as his owners (who have 3 others there) check him the other end of the day and they will bring him in at night for me in the winter! my daughter comes down at the weekend and loves it!

We are luckily our yard is very kid friendly and lots of grazing so they are out 24/7 in summer. They can be out all year round if we choose but he will come in when it gets awful.
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Sounds like it’s all working out for you! Good luck for you and your potential new horse!!
 
Annagain said:
I wonder if motorbike or sailing or other traditionally male dominated forums are full of men wondering how to manage toddlers and their hobbies? I know horses are more than a hobby but still.....
Click to expand...

A motorbike or boat won't complain if it stays in the garage or tied up at the marina for three days straight without being taken out.
 
It’s hard. I have a 6 year old and 3 year old and work full time. Wasn’t as bad when I had my Connie as she was older and backed so I could just ride a few times a week, but currently have a 3 year old who I’m thinking of selling for something older that’s backed so I don’t have to worry about fitting in the time for groundwork.

It’s a struggle but if you haven’t got a youngster or a horse that needs to be in constant work (I.e ridden daily) then it’s not that bad once you’re in the routine. I feed before work then go to do jobs after work and if the weathers bad the kids wait in the car, if the weathers good the kids stay at home and I’d ride.

However at the minute I haven’t got the time to be consistent with groundwork so this is why I’m considering selling for something older than I can hack a few days a week!
 
Depends on your child ?

My older 2 were no bother to take to the yard. My youngest is a nightmare. We have 2 shetlands currently and tha k God they are low maintenance. Would love another proper pony but no time and no full livery it would be impossible for me
 
It works for me as my pony is at home, is very low maintenance and can go for weeks without being ridden. I'm also going back to work part time soon. I do have a very supportive mum & husband who are happy to look after my very active 10 month old while I ride. I do take him down to see my pony every morning (he loves it at the moment) & he's happy to watch in the pram for 10/20 mins. I do most jobs/poo picking in the evenings when he's in bed!
 
Stenners said:
I hope this is the case with the one I am riding now! I really don't think she will ever sell or loan him but she's rarely rides him herself - once in a blue moon.
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I think in all honesty your probably best sticking with this arrangement. It sounds perfect for your situation. I do understand the wanting your own but I can’t see it workable with a full time job and such a young child (and your husband!)
I put mine out on loan until my daughter was 5. During that time I stopped having anything to do with horses, except visiting mine in his loan home.
 
You make it work ;) I have 3 kids - a 9yo, 3yo and 7 month old. Im lucky I keep my horses at home and I have a job where I set my own hours which helps massively (but also means Im never off work as I do work weekends / evenings etc. when I need to). To feed the horses in the morning, I put baby in buggy and other 2 mess in the back garden for a minute while I feed them. Riding is done in the evening once kids are in bed! I have to depend on OH to have all the kids if I want to go to a lesson / event
 
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