too novice to share?

[E13]

Hey everyone I've been reading this site for a few days and have finally joined up so I can ask a question! I started riding as a child (I'm 20 now) and have had various lessons, and done some volunteering at a few yards. Problem is I've completely lost my confidence - no fall or anything, I think just through being overfaced at my yard positions etc. I can canter (confidence aside), I've jumped some small jumps, I've done a few lateral movements... I would love to get back into riding, but I don't want to go back to lessons because I personally feel the pressure confidence-wise! My ideal situation would be if a friend of mine had a horse, and we could just hang out so I could become more comfortable, as opposed to structured lessons. Afraid that's not possible though! I've been trawling websites for riders needed/shares offered, but I'm not sure if I'm actually good enough for something like that Especially as my nerves would be through the roof at the moment. Any insight into this?

 

[Karran]

I reckon so, my friend at the yard a few weeks back was looking for someone who could just potter about with her elderly mare to keep her from stiffening up. She didn't want some one who wanted to blast about and jump huge things and the horse was an ex-riding school pony in her early 20's and is such a sweetheart.

Keep looking, and be honest with yourself and the person who's advert you're answering. I reckon its more than possible!

 

[liss1987]

I know how you feel and decided to get myself a schoolmaster on loan as I know how to ride but had had a long break from it and wanted to get my confidence back just hacking and enjoying being out and about with others.
Now my confidence has come on in leaps and bounds and would like to get lessons to improve and i don't feel so bad about someone looking at me and going "what on earth is that girl doing?!" haha! Now I have my confidence back I'm happy for people to give me constructive criticism on my riding.
It's all about getting the right horse though. If Red wasn't do placid and well schooled I wouldn't have become the happy confident rider I am today. He's a veteran too, 20 years old, so may be worth looking at some golden oldies as they've been there and done that and won't judge you!

 

[smellsofhorse]

Why not try volunteering at a charity. become comfortable and confident just being around horses.
Also find a different riding school.
lessons are meant to be fun.
so if you feel uncomfortable find a better yard.
why not try a trakking centre?
relaxing hack in the country side.

 

[Princess Jess]

Personally I wouldn't get a share just yet. As others have said there are older schoolmasters out there for share, but they are few and far between.
I would try to find a nice friendly riding school, or even a private instructor with their own school masters who can help to build your confidence up in a non-pressurised way.
Remember most people looking for someone to share their horses are doing so because of lack of time, finances, or just to have the horse exercised. Would you be comfortable riding on your own and being responsible for a horse on your own on your 'days', including coping with injuries or the numerous other dramas horses cause? Even the most saintly horses can get spooked etc. and I just worry that you could end up denting your confidence even more if you rush into a share...
You could also try volunteering at a yard to get a bit more experience and confidence or how about volunteering with the RDA until you are ready to get your own or a share?

 

[HaffiesRock]

Where are you based?

 

[MissMincePie&Brandy]

I think you would be better finding a more sympathetic Riding School, or you could offer to help at your local RDA.

TBH I think you sound too nervous to ride a pony beloning to someone you don't know, and it would not be fair on you, nor them if something happened whilst you were riding their pony.

 

[L&M]

Actually I don't think you are, you just need the right horse.

I would advertise what you are looking for and just see what comes up.

I have a sharer for one of mine who had only been riding 6mnth, and could only just canter. However the horse I needed help with is a very gentle and sensible chap and felt I could trust him to look after her.

She has been sharing him for just under a year now and so far so good - she has gone from a nervous novice, to a confident rider who can tack up on her own, hack out on her own, and is a real help around the yard. The added bonus is she loves poo picking (how weird!!!).

I also understand what you mean about lessons - I hate them and get so nervous, but go hunting twice a week, so just because you don't like lessons doesn't mean you are a rubbish rider!

It may take time so maybe in the meantime maybe go on a horsey course or find a trekking centre for you to go on supervised hacks.

Good luck!

 

[kc100]

I am a sharer, I have a lovely horse on loan and he was advertised as a schoolmaster type, great all-rounder etc. And while he is great at many things, he is still occasionally spooky (like most horses are), and he is hard work. There are 42 horses on my yard (huge yard!) and a few have sharers, and I can tell you now the best horses do not have sharers. The ones that have sharers are either the old ones, the difficult ones or the ones where the owner hasnt got much time for them (hence they have some behavioural or schooling issues because they are not ridden enough and handled enough).

So I honestly think that if you share a horse, you will end up doing more harm than good. As much as you might be able to find a lovely, calm and gentle schoolmaster, it may still spook, and you are still under the pressure of caring for a horse all on your own when you havent been around horses for a long time.

I got into sharing after 2 years of lessons, and before my lessons I'd ridden for 8 years then had an 8 year break, so I've been in and out of the horsey world since I was 7. The lessons did me a world of good, I found a lovely riding school that mostly schooled adults so there were lots of people in the same boat as me. The brilliant thing about riding schools is that they cater for everyone, from complete beginners to advanced adults. They have a range of horses, and will start you off on a very easy, gentle horse. And the brilliant thing about riding school horses is they are pretty bomb-proof, they rarely do anything more than the small activity you are asking and then head to the back of the ride.

I know riding lessons may seem overwhelming, being told what to do, on unfamiliar horses around other people - but within one or two lessons you wil be right back into it and all your worries will be gone. If you share a horse you have no help with your riding, so you may develop bad habits on a horse you hardly know, and then that could get dangerous if your bad habits cause the horse to develop bad habits and get naughty.

Do lots of research on riding schools in your area, go along to watch some lessons at each of the stables and talk to the instructors. With a bit of research you will find a stables that is perfect for you, I dont think you will ever find a share horse that is perfect for you when you have had so little recent experience.

Good look!

 

[grandmaweloveyou]

I am a sharer, I have a lovely horse on loan and he was advertised as a schoolmaster type, great all-rounder etc. And while he is great at many things, he is still occasionally spooky (like most horses are), and he is hard work. There are 42 horses on my yard (huge yard!) and a few have sharers, and I can tell you now the best horses do not have sharers. The ones that have sharers are either the old ones, the difficult ones or the ones where the owner hasnt got much time for them (hence they have some behavioural or schooling issues because they are not ridden enough and handled enough).

Hi not wanting to hijack a post but I have to disagree with this, sorry

I only have a sharer for my horse due to my ill health & needing to keep his weight off and he is well mannered, safe, well schooled, easy to handle, has regular lessons etc etc.....I still ride him 2/3 times a week when I can & I spend time with him every day. I have had great sharers, long term, that have only left him due to a job change / house move, no fault of his own (1 still comes up now to ride him as she really misses him).

There are some lovely share horses out there, I know of a a few, so you can find them please do look but do be very honest & maybe spend alot of time schooling with the horse & have some lessons on the horse before venturing out then only hack out with company.

Great that you are doubting you are ready to share and not going straight out to buy!

 

[grandmaweloveyou]

Sorry. I meant to say welcome to the forum.

 

[bumper]

I'd have thought you could find something suitable. Maybe advertise in local feed merchants/farm supplies/tack shops.
Many years ago, when I was straight out of riding school, I found a 25 yo schoolmaster who needed gentle exercise, and rode him out twice a week. He was safe as houses, but a bit nappy, so encouraged my riding confidence on no end. I also learnt some basic horse care along the way too. When he became rather TOO quiet for me, and I wanted to do more, I shared a younger mare. Both ads found in the local paper.
Good luck!

 

[E13]

Thanks for your replies (and this forum is so friendly !). See I'm sure I'm still at novice-riding-lessons stage - nowhere NEAR loaning or owning! To give a little more info, I rode on and off for a number of years but never really progressed past trotting level, until in my early teens I started cantering, so I've done that and popped a few cross poles etc. I've never hacked out alone (no horse!), only with a riding school/holiday centre or a friend. But for some reason my confidence is rock bottom - I am scared of riding, not of horses, but of my perceived inability! Even on holiday this year I got nervous before a trotting only family hack (though once in the saddle I realised I was home ). I'm worried I really am too much of a novice to even hack out alone/handle share days alone, as my experience adds up to riding lessons, and things I've done in unpaid work positions, like mucking out, leading, rugging up, a bit of lunging - but I've only cleaned tack once or twice, and never administered first aid. (I have to admit I have ridden at Talland though, so surely I'm not as useless as I think I am?! Though that doesn't necessarily say anything). I really just need a situation where I can get my confidence back/stop being scared that I can't do it!

 

[devonlass]

Remember most people looking for someone to share their horses are doing so because of lack of time, finances, or just to have the horse exercised. Would you be comfortable riding on your own and being responsible for a horse on your own on your 'days'

Have to say this is a problem I face with my sharers and a very valid point.I have a totally bombproof cob that is safe as houses to ride.I bought him as a nanny horse to get my youngster out and about so don't have much use for him for myself or time,hence getting sharers.
Trouble is the type he attracts are the more novice ones,which is fine from a riding POV as can put anyone on him,but it does mean that i can't just leave them to it and have to be there whenever they are.
I don't mind this usually as is company for me riding wise,but there are some days when I really wish I had someone who could actually do stuff on their own and give me a break.

You may find a lot of owners are looking for someone who can do things on their own,so have to think if this would be an issue for you??
It's not just stuff like injuries although that could happen,(but would assume owner would be on hand for that??) it's basic stuff like dealing with other horses when catching and leading etc,tying up safely,taking off/putting on rugs,fly masks etc,tacking up correctly,getting on and getting out of the yard/field safely,and loads of other small details that I don't even give a second thought to but that sharers haven't had a clue about.

You may be fine with all of that sort of thing,but worth giving some thought to if not had sole responsibility for a horse before now.

Even if not up for that doesn't mean you can't get a share.Just need to be honest about what you are happy and able to do.

I have taken on all my sharers knowing they were novice (two of them like you have ridden years ago but their confidence has gone and looking to get back into it safely),and I don't mind showing them and being there to help (although the aim eventually is that they can cope on their own!!),but I would have been a bit miffed if they had over estimated their abilities,so be up front about what you can do,but make it clear you are keen to learn and hope to be more independent eventually and am sure there will be something out there for you

There are 42 horses on my yard (huge yard!) and a few have sharers, and I can tell you now the best horses do not have sharers. The ones that have sharers are either the old ones, the difficult ones or the ones where the owner hasnt got much time for them (hence they have some behavioural or schooling issues because they are not ridden enough and handled enough).

Would have to say that isn't always the case.My cob doesn't have issues,safe as houses.He is a bit of a plod which wouldn't suit everyone but I wouldn't call that an issue or problem as such.

I need a sharer simply as I have a youngster who takes up a lot of my time and energy,and don't have the time for him that he needs and deserves.Nothing to do with him whatsoever,and I have had to turn people away to share him as every one who has come to see him has loved him,but can't have them all!!
Not all horses in need of a sharer have an issue or are difficult.I can see that many would have but there are lot's of genuine ones out there as well

Try it and see OP,put up some ads or send a few messages off to ones you see and just see what response you get.As long as you are honest about what you can do don't see you have anything to lose.

 

[Blitzen]

I think a 'work for rides' at someones private yard would be good for you - you could help out around the yard, poo picking, mucking out, filling hay nets etc., in return for a ride. I'd be more than happy for someone to come to my yard, help out for an hour and then have a potter about on one of the horses for a bit, as I'm there anyway so there's help at hand if they needed it, but I'd leave them to mooch about in the school with my mare at their own pace and do as they please for a while
With regards to feeling too 'novicey' - much better that you know you need to build your skills and confidence. I'd be MUCH more likely to offer my horse to share with someone honest like yourself, than a novice thought they were the next Willian F-P, wanting to gallop about/jump all the time when in reality their riding wasn't up to scratch!
Is there a horsey Facebook page for your local area? How about putting an advert on there?
Best of luck keep looking and asking about, I'm sure you'll find something to suit you!

 

[Elsiecat]

There are 42 horses on my yard (huge yard!) and a few have sharers, and I can tell you now the best horses do not have sharers. The ones that have sharers are either the old ones, the difficult ones or the ones where the owner hasnt got much time for them (hence they have some behavioural or schooling issues because they are not ridden enough and handled enough).

And I can tell you, OP, that this isn't always or isn't usually (or virtually ever) the case, in my experience.
I loaned a hunter, 16.2, 8 years old mare. Safe as houses and beautiful. Some of the 'best horses' DO have shares/loaners.
Don't be put off OP, there are plenty of genuine shares out there.

I'd put an advert on somewhere such as preloved if I was you. I'd be honest about my abilities and explain that I'm nervous and why so. I think you'll find with patience something will come up

 

[Spotsrock]

I had a sharer like you for my 27 year old to just potter about and hack. Horse retired now but there must be others. Good luck.

 

[Spotsrock]

Where are you btw?

 

[E13]

I'm in Gloucestershire

 

[Kallibear]

Have to say this is a problem I face with my sharers and a very valid point.I have a totally bombproof cob that is safe as houses to ride.I bought him as a nanny horse to get my youngster out and about so don't have much use for him for myself or time,hence getting sharers.
Trouble is the type he attracts are the more novice ones,which is fine from a riding POV as can put anyone on him,but it does mean that i can't just leave them to it and have to be there whenever they are.
I don't mind this usually as is company for me riding wise,but there are some days when I really wish I had someone who could actually do stuff on their own and give me a break.

You may find a lot of owners are looking for someone who can do things on their own,so have to think if this would be an issue for you??
It's not just stuff like injuries although that could happen,(but would assume owner would be on hand for that??) it's basic stuff like dealing with other horses when catching and leading etc,tying up safely,taking off/putting on rugs,fly masks etc,tacking up correctly,getting on and getting out of the yard/field safely,and loads of other small details that I don't even give a second thought to but that sharers haven't had a clue about.

You may be fine with all of that sort of thing,but worth giving some thought to if not had sole responsibility for a horse before now.

This is the issue when I looked for a sharer for Pips (who, like devonlass's horse, is perfect for novice riders). They needed ride entirely unsupervised, and out hacking on the roads, so although they didn't need to be able to ride well to cope with, they did need to be experienced and capable enough to keep him and them safe, so the arragement (rather than the pony) wasn't suitabe for novice riders.

 

[skint1]

I've been very fortunate in that I am experienced (relatively) at caring for horses through looking after my daughter's Welsh B Gelding and 2 Tbs over the last 12 years, but I only started riding for myself in June after my daughter decided to have a break from horses and the TBs went on full loan (one stays at the yard and I help look after him and I also have the pony on a farm that I share with a friend) so I can be left to it on the ground, and possibly in the school but certainly not out hacking.

My journey into riding is one of luck really. There's a lady at my yard that has the patience, knowledge and horses suitable for the abject (and fat) novice and she didn't mind spending some time with me in the school. When I kind of had the idea on steering and stopping, we began hacking out (and we have very beautiful hacking, but it is not for the faint of heart imho) I did this 2-3 times a week through the summer, hardly aware that the whole time I was learning and developing a nascent seat, I went from bumping about to being pretty good at a walk and trot, and even a slow canter, but there is A LOT more work I need to be doing, a lot, before I will be a competent novice.

Then a friend of my daughter's (also at the yard) offered me loan of her bf's horse, a 16yo IDx,mare a horse that has "taught" many people to ride in her life. She's the kind of horse that really only comes about through word of mouth so I couldn't believe my luck and leapt at the chance. So now this lovely mare is looking after me, but even with this perfect horse I realise I have a LONG way to before I am even a competent novice, but the people I ride out with know this about me and make allowances.

What part of Gloucestershire are you in?

 

[luckypeggy]

Have you been on the Gloucestershire horse riders Facebook group? Always people offering horses to share. Can remember recently a 20 year old welsh sec c- don't know how tall you are? But think that was just for a bit of exercise? It's worth asking on there and being honest and seeing what replies you get

 

[E13]

Hmm, so if I'm not good enough for a share, is the next step to advertise for anyone needing exercise help/happy to let me potter about with them to build up confidence? Kind of need the half way step between novice and share! I would love to find someone friendly, a relaxed arrangement, where I could just work on my seat etc in the school, improve my balance at the canter, calm my out-of-nowhere nerves (so convincing myself that I CAN do it!), and just sort of 'live' in the saddle and relax into it! Obviously if I'm not ready to hack out alone, it wouldn't be fair on the owner (or horse) if I did so.

I'm Cirencester area, and yeah I've just joined the Glos horse facebook page but it's mainly showing horses for sale. I've trawled websites but of the local loans or shares, the vast majority say no novices; beyond that, again I'm not sure if I'm ready to go unsupervised! I almost need someone to tell me what level I am at/what capability (impossible I know).

 

[Honey08]

I would seriously try and find another riding centre and have some private lessons and get your confidence back a bit - it will up your chances a lot and it sounds like something in your head that would be good for you to get over..

I advertised for someone to exercise my horses as I work away and don't have time to keep them fit. One is an eventer and highly strung but safe, the other is pretty laid back but a huge hunter type that, on the rare occassions that he does play up, is a big powerful thing. I wanted someone who had ideally done their stage 2 or PC C+ test, and preferably over 30. A lady got in touch, who was very novice but honest about it, and that was attractive, so I invited her to come riding. She rode the big one, who is always easy when out with my other horse and I. She did fine. We went on holiday and the horses went to my friend's livery yard, so I suggested she had a lesson with my BHSII friend while they were there. She was on the calm one again. My friend had to stop the lesson as the horse was getting stronger and stronger once he realised nobody was telling him what to do. The lady still rides him, but only ever hacks out with me on my horse. She is doing fine and getting used to him. We will build up to her going back in the school. While it doesn't mean they are getting exercised while I'm away, it does mean I only have one to ride on my days off and can do more other jobs. She is happy riding, and most importantly, we seem to get on well.

Long way of saying that something may come up! But seriously, some lessons would help your case a lot.xx

 

[Echo24]

I think you'll find the right horse to share would be few and far between and you may find the perfect horse but may be quite a drive away! That was my experience when I was at that transitional stage between wanting more from riding lessons but not quite ready to loan!

I managed to find some lovely shares with some understanding owners, but they were at least 30 mins drive and in one case 45 mins during rush hour after work! Did eventually find a lovely share 10 mins away that was just right for me and really improved my confidence. They are out there but may take a while to find.

 

[Morganlafaye]

I'm so glad you're not rushing into anything. You sound very sensible and honest about your abilities, which as an owner, I really value.

I rode in riding schools and on riding holidays (riding all shapes and sizes at all paces) and helped out at yards for years before I shared for the first time, and I still found sharing a very steep learning curve! I'd never competed in my life when I got my first share. It was an even steeper learning curve when I bought my first horse! Definitely not something to rush into. There's so much you don't get taught at riding schools, it just doesn't prepare you, and being on your own to deal with things is top of that list!

However, riding regularly might help your nerves. I would try to ride as often as you can at a good, sympathetic riding school while you are looking for the right share. Try to find one that can give you a mixture of lessons and sensible hacking in small groups, or even just hacking. Hacking teaches you so much about balance and control. I never felt comfortable or balanced in canter in the school until I first cantered out on a hack! It was a 'lightbulb' moment!

Also, it may take a while for the right horse/owner to come along.

It sounds like what you need is someone with a gem of an older horse or pony, who now has a younger horse. Someone friendly who you get along with, who has the patience to let you potter about alongside them, ask questions and learn, rather than ride on your own, at least for the moment.

These people/horses do exist, but they are rare. Don't rush into anything. You will need to be flexible about how far to travel and when you ride - you will have to be prepared to work around their timetable.

It can work, if you bide your time, keep riding in the meantime, choose carefully and you're completely honest.

I agree with you that its not sensible at this stage to find a share where you'll spend a lot of time on your own. It won't help your confidence at all, and I'd worry you and the horse might not be safe. You'll learn so much and gain so much more confidence from being around other owners. I know I did.

Best of luck!