Too upset to sleep

dwi

dwi

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Don't think there is an answer to this one, just need some hugs really
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All my friends have left or are leaving our yard over a row that got out of hand. I don't want to leave as it's got the best range of facilities for what I enjoy doing, I moved house to be next to the yard, can see D in her field from my dining room and OH has developed a good friendship with YO.

On the other hand, being the only person who rides seriously on a yard isn't going to be much fun. No-one to hack with, no-one to put up jumps for me, no-one to chat to. The others left on our yard are pets or light hacks and I'm not particularly close to any of the other owners.

OH wants me to stay where I am and says he will help me with D when I have to work late and that he'll walk out on hacks with me and put up jumps but I know its going to cause tension. He says that now but three months down the line when I'm stuck in traffic on the M1 and Daisy is doing her nut bcause she's the last one out in the field and I don't have any friends that will bring her in we're going to row about it.

Having a horse is supposed to be fun but at the moment its making us all completely miserable.
 
My one bit of advice is dont make any rash dessions, I moved yards once in the heat of the moment and was back there 3 months latter.

Maybe wait and see who takes the empty stables. Popa note in local shops asking for a serious hacking buddy

I agree they are meant to be fun and OH dont always get it!
 
A Similar thing happened to me and i stayed being the only person on a yard who'd had horses in the life forever with lots of novices was hard work and i missed the chance to bounce ideas off other experienced horse owners but hang on because we now have lots of lovely new people who do a range of activities with their horses and everyone pitches in and helps everyone else! I still miss the old days but it is good now so stick with it and accept the help from your oh while he's offering it he he! Hugs hun keep your chin up x
 
Could you not make it your mission to find some new liveries for the yard, ones that want to hack, go to shows etc. Maybe a note up in the local tackroom or on the web? Just a thought?

Oh and big hugs!
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Get a grip girl! You have a horse for a job not a social with your friends!

I have my own ground i rent by my house, and sometimes through the winter i go to a local livery yard, which is great and i have lots of friends etc there.

But reality check, whats more important your social life or your dedication to your horse? No brainer to me. Im sure there are other people to hack with.
 
I think i would stay put for the time being, and see who moves on. If you still feel the same after a while, then consider moving. Just think how if you moved, you will see other horses in the field and then start wondering how yours is etc.
Hugs
 
I agree with all the advice so far. Stay where you are for now at least. It is worth so much just to be close to your horse. If your OH has developed this friendship with the YO and you enjoy where you live, he will be keen to help. Give him a chance, he might come up trumps - sometimes our OH's can surprise us.

After nearly 30 yrs together my previously non-horsey OH has helped so much with our new horse. He's down there everyday mucking out, poo picking, bringing her in from the field, helping tack up.... the list is endless.

Your OH can probably see that a bit of time from him every so often, means more time together which you would otherwise spend travelling to a new yard.

Good luck
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Change is always scary. But if you move just to be with old livery mates you will regret it. You have to do what is best for your horse. If she is comfortable where she is and they have the facilities you need then that is where you need to stay. She won't understand about you wanting to be with humans. Try to bring in some like minded liveries and build a new community. Look forwards - not back!
 
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Get a grip girl! You have a horse for a job not a social with your friends!

I have my own ground i rent by my house, and sometimes through the winter i go to a local livery yard, which is great and i have lots of friends etc there.

But reality check, whats more important your social life or your dedication to your horse? No brainer to me. Im sure there are other people to hack with.

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I think people do have horses for social reasons too!! I don't have mine for a job but for enjoyment, and hacking with friends, chatting over a coffee when all the work is done etc is part of that. I have a full time job during the week and my horses are my downtime!

To the OP..as others have said, why don't you speak with your YO, ask if you can help to write the ads for the spaces, direct it towards competitive riders or people who ride regularly. I'm sure they would not want to lose you too if you have a good relationship with them it'll help. I wouldn't move it sounds like your ideal yard, you are lucky being so close to home how lovely!
 
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Get a grip girl! You have a horse for a job not a social with your friends!

But reality check, whats more important your social life or your dedication to your horse? No brainer to me. Im sure there are other people to hack with.

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I could keep my horse at work for next to nothing, but the two main reasons I pay for livery are an arena and social reasons. I think its really important to have people to ride with, doing horses as a hobby is just not the same on your own.

OP, I wouldn't leave, its likely that at least some of the empty boxes will be taken by people who like to ride their horses, since its the type of yard with good facilities. If you moved, wherever you moved to would probably have these same phases, I think just about everywhere does, and people tend to leave in packs. I reckon if you just put up with the situation for now, sooner or later some more fun liveries will arrive. Plus if you move, you expose yourself to plenty worse problems.
 
I have learnt that it does pay to always try and stay with friends, you move to be with them and then they move away. in the end you should go with what is best for you and horse. do what you want and i would say being next to yard with good facilitires is best. I have to sort jumps etc my self nd do all myself but at least you dont get pooo`d on by someone.
 
Definitely dont move for the moment. Bear in mind that the YO will want to find more liveries and some of those might want to do the same things you do! It would be a crying shame to move and then find that lots of new people arrive at your old livery
 
I've been in this position- all my mates left and the yard just wasn't the same. but i met other people and had just as good a time with them.... although saying that i've now moved to same yard as original friends almost a year after they left, but left because of other reasons, just happened to still be in contact with them and found a place at their yard
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I agree with the others that there may be more competitive riders that move in and you can make friends and socialise with them. You sound like you really like this yard, espicially as you moved closer to be there!! a good yard is hard to find and if it suits you and your horse I think you should stay, at least for now.

hmmm don't know if I contradicted myself there lol

 
Thank you for all the advice, it just helps to share.

In response in daisychain - yes my horse is very important to me but I work irregular hours and need to know that there are people on the yard I trust if I am stuck in traffic. The night it took me two and a half hours to get home because of a horrendous accident on the motorway I was very glad to know that Daisy was not alone in the field and panicking.

My other points were that for safety reasons I would rather not do a fast hack or go round the xc alone if I can avoid it. Again, not something I need to "get a grip" about but, I would have thought, common sense.
 
Don't make any rash decisions take your OH up on his offer and just wait a while. New liveries will come and may even do more with their horses like you do. Others may change their mind and stay. You must do what's right for you. If your moved house to be near this yard and you don't have a problem with the YO then stay and stop worrying too much things will work out I'm sure
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QR- so sorry to hear your bad news...but think positively- new people will surely move on to fill the stables? you might make friends with them? don't move yards if you don't want to- people will come and go but a good yard is worth its weight in gold!
 
deffo stay where you are especially if you and your horse are happy.
you never know the empty stables could soon be full of great horses with potential best mates as owners !!!!
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i know what you mean about needing the odd bit of help but for now I'd stick with the offer from OH.
 
Some of my friends have left my yard but I keep in touch with them and go to see them and meet one of them to do things like to go x country, rides etc could you not arrange to do this still?

Like everyone else has said at some point there's likely to be people who come and fill their places who are into similar things to you and you get on with.
 
Am I the only one here who feels that, for safety reasons, your YO should not allow you to find yourself in this position?

Our old YO would NEVER leave a horse in the field. One of the first things she said to us. When one comes in, she'll get them all in.

Our new YO is the same.

I would have a word with YO, explain the situation and get them on your side. If you were injured on your own or if Daisy was injured on her own, the YO may be liable, but worse the rep of the yard would go down the pan!

I have family on my yard so there's always at least two of us, if not three. Very lucky in that reguard!
 
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Get a grip girl! You have a horse for a job not a social with your friends!

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How Rude! who are you to judge how someone else is feeling!!

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I totally agree! It's a case of having ppl to bounce ideas off, compete with and hack out safely with...much harder on your own.
 
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