Total loss of confidence

[Lizziebet]

Hi everyone , pretty new here just want some guidance/advice please. I currently have 4 horses, a tb, lightweight cob, sec a and a tbxsecd. I bought the tbxsecd archie 5 years ago, he was a 16 month colt , bolshy, spooky head shy, 5 years on hes slowly getting better but ive came round to the fact hes just a field ornament..i also have a tb who bolted and trampled me last year, not his fault but my confidence was dented beyond repair. I have haf panic attacks bringing him in from field and my sister decided that she'd lead him. I loaned him out,more for him but he was mistreated so he came home.
I've totally lost all confidence with all of them and I have no idea what to do.....

 

[EQUIDAE]

It sounds like you just need a friend, someone to support you and show you that you can do it. They will improve with regular handling and your confidence will grow too. Where abouts are you? I wonder if anyone here could help, or suggest someone who might be able to offer groundwork lessons?

 

[Elsbells]

4 horses is a lot for anyone. I had a difficult mare 6 years ago, I still have the difficult mare whose became my horse of a lifetime, but I couldn't of managed 4 of them as I'd of been a nervous wreck and broke!
Hope someone can help you in a more practical way.

 

[Equi]

Four large horses, two of which are difficult, would be a lot for anyone to manage. I would consider finding a home for archie for one - he sounds like he needs someone both more confident and with more experience (i don't know what experience you or your sister have so i'm sorry if it is a lot..)

Re the tb, did he bolt and trample, or just not have any respect for you at that time?

Are the the other two okay? Could you only work with them for now to build you back up?

Is your confidence with the horses in general or riding?

 

[canteron]

Confidence is something that you can work on, and it can come back. IME, you have to look at it as a holistic problem and in the end you turn out a more confident person in the whole of life, a better skilled rider with great posture and very knowledgeable, but you have to work on each of those areas individually.

So, it is a 'journey' that you have to find your own path through, but a few thoughts to begin with.

- If you don't feel you can ride at the moment, explore clicker training (teaches you loads about how horses learn and builds real bonds with the horse), the derided Parelli can teach you that you need to be in control of each of your horses feet, or if you can find a teacher Classical in-hand work. You don't have to swallow any of these whole, but each of them will teach you skills and get your horses listening to you and expecting to work with you.
- There is a book 28 days to perfect confidence, (or similar) which has some great ideas.
- Pilaties really helps, having confidence in your own body helps your horse have confidence in you.
- Learning other things can help your confidence and courage and reaction skills, anything from singing to tennis or golf!
- Panic attacks are horrible and need to be dealt with, some of the CDs are useful, i.e. Sharon Shinwells panic attach CD?
-
Finally, 4 horses is a lot, maybe either fine the more challenging a different home, or elect to give them a year off while you concentrate on your confidence skills?

Good luck

 

[Lizziebet]

Thanks for the replies , i have had horses since i was 13 now 29 , used to be super confident, he spooked at an idiot driver that drove around the back of the yard. I know he'd probably be better with somebody else but the state he came back off loan has put me off.
I used to be fine handling and my riding confidence would come and go.

 

[Mrskyfall]

Don't worry, you are not alone. I had a total loss of confidence so I decided to have some hypnotherapy, about this time last year. I was very cynical about it and I am definitely not super confident or Charlotte Dujardin yet, but it did give me some excellent strategies. Firstly, don't read or watch any stories that show horses behaving negatively. Don't let people speak about their scary or bad experiences with horses around you. They are only allowed to say good things about their horses' behaviour. Secondly, be ok with the fact that you are at this moment, where you are with your horses and its ok. It is ok to have one or two butterflies in your tummy when around your horses, but not a whole butterfly colony! If you feel like this around them - breathe! There are loads of strategies that I was given by a lovely lady who helped me massively with my confidence. I won't put her name on in case it breaks some advertising rule, but pm me if you wanted it.