Totally disheartened - sharing success stories anyone?

Hovis_and_SidsMum

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I'll keep this short because i am just having a whinge.
As any of you who read Hovis' Friday diary will know, after 5 weeks of working his backside off my new sharer announced she didnt want to share Hovis any more and rocked up at the yard with a loan TB.
The sharer had come recommended, I'd allowed her to take him to lessons, bought new bots etc for him so she could take him XC and even agreed to give up some of my precious weekends with him so that she could take him to compete. Needless to say I'm a little peeved.
Since then I've readvertised him and good lord have i had some "interesting" phone calls. Several novices including one who'd had the grand total of 4 riding lessons despite the advert stating he needs a competent rider as hes strong, a few people who want a nice "kick along plod" and one enquiry for a 13 year old.
Please can someone give me hope that there are normal sharers out there who are reliable, trustworthy and can ride a little bit?!!
Utterly despondant about it today, not to mention feeling sorry for my poor boy having been worked really hard for weeks, not putting a hoof wrong and now he stands there looking uttery confused as to why the ex sharer is now ignoring him.
Whinge over.
thanks
 

Tobiano

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GRRR! on your and Hovis's behalf. I would just say very often a TB is as a TB does! so imagine your former sharer will be regretting her choice at some stage! Sorry I dont have any success story to share (I cannot bring myself to share my horse so pay others to ride him when I cant!) but really hope you get the perfect person soon.
 

Arizahn

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Aw, poor Hovis! Sharer could at least give him a quick fuss :(

<passes the cyber carrots and polo mints>

Good luck finding a new sharer.
 

Rosiejazzandpia

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Poor Hovis, sending a virtual hug and a bag of carrots.
I have a few stories that might brighten up your day.
I have been a sharer and currently share my horse.
When I was the one sharing it was fab, it was at the time the only oppertunity for me to have my own horse. I was 15 and very lacking in confidence, shared a cob and went on from there.
As of April 2013 I have my own little Arab. I quickly relised I need a sharer due to my sixth form commitments.
Put word out locally. At first I had some idiots. My arab is a typical arab. She is not dangerous in anyway but needs a rider who can sit deep when she decides she doesnt like the colour of the pavement and silly things like that.
Being only 14.1 you dont really tend to take her seriously but I had a girl come to try her who insisted on bringing her whole family and then was a total begginer. You will get loads of people like this, but stick at it. Eventually I found a woman who is now one of my good friends. She rides very well and just gets on with things. She laughs off spooks and jumps and is a great help .
I almost gave up trying for a sharer, it took that long and some of the people that turned up couldnt even groom and tack up! I do think there are many good sharers out there too, it just takes a little time to find them :)
 

chestnut cob

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There are definitely normal sharers out there :)

I had one for my last horse, although she was someone I already knew who approached me. It worked really well. We had a contract, even though we were friends, and while we had the odd disagreement about stuff, it was easily resolved. I really enjoyed having one, she had him for a good 6 months or more (I called it off because the horse retired), and I actually really missed having her when I went down to just one horse. So don't lose hope, they are out there. In fact, my sharer has become one of my closest friends. We go on holiday together, speak most days and she's a great friend - so it can work well :)
 

dianchi

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Poor hovis would have thought that with all the exposure he would have found a lovely sharer by now :-(
Fingers x the right person comes along soon!

Maybe a call to some of the eventers is needed after all? :D
 

ArtyLinz

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GRRR! on your and Hovis's behalf. I would just say very often a TB is as a TB does! so imagine your former sharer will be regretting her choice at some stage! Sorry I dont have any success story to share (I cannot bring myself to share my horse so pay others to ride him when I cant!) but really hope you get the perfect person soon.

Ah don't tar them all with the same brush ;) I have one who is a cob's attitude in a TB skin!
 

MissSBird

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Ugh, what a nightmare!

Positive sharing stories to try and boost your spirits:

I first started horse sharing at 14, straight from the riding school (though I was a 'helper' there so did have basic experience in stable chores as opposed to just lessons). As far as I remember I was reliable and consistent. I don't know much about your boy I admit, but I would generally advise people looking for sharers not to be put off of teenagers just because of their age. I was so desperate for any pony I was completely taken advantage of by the first owner. I was doing chores for 2 horses (as her friend couldn't find a regular sharer for the other horse) and could hardly catch the one I was supposed to be able to ride (later found out the horse was well known for being terrible to catch in large fields). But I kept going. Just being around a yard then helped me find a different pony to share, and I saw her 3/4 days a week for 2 years, competing, hacking, schooling. I did it all, loved the pony, and still refer to her as 'my first pony'. Even if she wasn't technically mine, the bond we had and the experience we had was phenomenal, and I am still very grateful to her owner for allowing me that experience.

Since then I have shared one of my own. The first people we had come to see her were straight from the riding school. Given my circumstances I was very willing to accomodate that - everyone has to learn somewhere. But when they didn't know what the girth was called I knew that wasn't going to work out. In the end I found a good sharer through my YO, and we had a great experience. She was reliable and thorough. In the end she moved away from the area, something she gave us a good 2 months notice about. During that time the pony injured a tendon, which would not be recovered before the 'stop' date, and we said to the sharer she could stop earlier if she wanted to. Didn't seem fair to ask her to help with a pony on box rest when she wouldn't get any benefit from the recovery, but bless her she kept going to the bitter end caring for the pony.

There are sharers out there who will treat and care for their charges as if they are their own horse. I've had a really good experience being the sharer and the owner. Fingers crossed you find the right person soon!
 

Polos Mum

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Sadly it seems you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the right one - but they are out there I promise. I've had some lovely sharers - some of which are good friends, one I sold my fab horse to becasue timing was right for both of us, I've also had my fair share of nutters, wanabies, and disappearers!!

The right sharer will fit with you easily so the point at which you needed different stuff for him and had to change your plans for the sharer it was going to end badly. The right one will fit with you, if they don't it won't last.
Good luck
 

hairycob

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Took me ages to find a decent sharer & on the way I came across the geographically challenged who couldn't work out they were 90 mins away from the stated location, the deluded, those who couldn't understand that a yard rule banning under 15s did apply to their 12 yo daughter & the plain mad who wanted me to move him to a yard of their choice 25 miles away for a 2/3 day share.
 

Bernster

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There def are success stories but agree it can be a bit hit and miss until you get the right one for you and Hovis. Can't believe you aren't inundated with people wanting to share a famous horse though.

I've actually been very lucky with previous sharers, some I found through an advert on the web, some from the local RVC as students tend to want a share (although not long term) and the last one from word of mouth. That went so well she ended up buying him! That might be a bit more than you're after ofc ;-)

So do perservere, be clear in your ad (sounds like you are), picky with who comes to see, maybe offer a short trial and have a good contract, which you might also have in place already. I don't know how old your person was but I tend to find older sharers are more reliable too, says she being v ageist !!
 

irishcob

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How very disappointing for you. I've only had a couple of sharers, and count myself lucky that both worked very well for us. I was EXTREMELY fussy about who I would consider, and so just keep going and the right one will come along.

Otherwise, I am also the proud owner of a Hovis cob, so perhaps you should send yours over and we could have a lovely Hovis sandwich!

Best of luck
 

Annagain

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I am both a sharer and a sharee. It's complicated but my horse can't jump anymore so I share one who can and then have a sharer to make sure my boy gets ridden too! Basically it means there's 3 of us to do 2 horses which works really well.

I've found all three of my sharers (only lost the first two as they both got pregnant and moved to Wiltshire - I'm not friends with that county!) through word of mouth rather than adverts. Are you a member of a local riding club? Tell all your horsey friends, somebody will know someone I'm sure - and as they know both Hovis and the potential sharer's abilities, you're much less likely to find a mismatch / numpty. In fact tell EVERYBODY as you'll never know where you'll find someone. I found one as she's the wife of a colleague. I happened to mention it in conversation, he said she used to have a horse and would love to have another but they couldn't afford it. She came for a ride, just as a one off and ending up sharing my boy for 5 years!

I found my share horse as he belongs to my best friend and I've known/ ridden him for 12 years anyway! She got pregnant at just the right time for me, and my boy went lame at just the right time for her!

I hope I've given you some hope. I definitely think word of mouth means to get a more suitable potential sharer so maybe hold off on the publicity for a bit but just tell everybody? Another place to try is your local riding school - but don't put an ad up, ask them if they know of anybody capable who may be considering taking the next step and who might want to share?
 
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Personally I've found having sharer from local University riding club really works if they can get to the yard. Left their own horse/s at home during the expensive months of the year and need something to ride during term time - has meant I got a sharer Sept - June and not during the summer when I want to compete the most and she's cheap as is out 24/7. It's not exactly a long term solution but...
 
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