Totally gutted / fed up / at a loss ....

My heart goes out to you but in all honesty sometimes we have to respect the decisions of our kids. Out of my 2 sons, youngest one gave up a few years ago. He actually was the better rider but not just as competitive as the older one. He meanwhile will not give up even though I sort of pencilled it all in as something to do whilst they were in ponies only! I am sure you will understand when I say I or we as parents liked the idea of having the lads together & with us every weekend. Sort of keeping them on the straight & narrow if you like. (& it worked) I have seen this happen far more with girls than with boys. What I am really trying to say is " It is there choice" No matter how put out we feel, or annoyed at the cost in both time & effort. Sometimes we just have to listen & swallow the dissapointment. & sometimes on reflection it can be seen that actually we have done all of this work & financing because actually we do it for 'us' & misjudge how much they might want the same thing. Personally, I wish that the older lad had given up after ponies. But we started it & now feel we should try & see it through. Good Luck to you. My advice is while I dont know what standard Grade A you have, do not put it on loan. It really is not worth the hassle. To many people want to play around on other folks investments.
 
TBH if you throw money at kids they will throw it back in your face. If your daughter has spent many years working hard and competeing then it's up to her if she wants to stop. Is your heart breaking because she is giving up something YOU wanted her to do, or something SHE wanted to do? Put another way, teenagers change their minds more often than their underwear, and she may have simply decided that she wants to look into the big wide world that doesnt always include horses. And in something largely influenced by mum, (who bought horses, lorry etc) she may feel under so much pressure, she neds to rebel and get some control over her own life.
Loan out the horses and see how she feels in a year. If she's still not interested then sell them.
 
Yep, I'm sure there's truth in all of your replies to some extent and I have not intentions of making her carry on as we only do it for fun and quality time. Would have been nice if she had let me know before shelling out for a horse when just out of juniors but hey-ho! Wish I could still see a good stride as i'd jump him myself !!!
 
Well I must be a similar age to you and I was eventing (only 2'6") at the weekend with only a week's practice. Get yourself some good tuition and go for it! I'm sure it will all come back far quicker than you think.
 
I agree with FF - I think she is acting like an unappreciative brat! It is fair enough to decide she wants to give it up, but she should at least have the good grace to ride and help you sell the two before she packs it in completely. She's not a child, she's what, 16? 17?

TBH she is old enough to show some responsibility. I would sell both without question, but make her continue to help you out until they are sold. Unless she has a job, she can't have money to go out drinking without your help surely? So you should have leverage in that aspect.

I had a similar experience to katiejaye, I had to prove my committment before I was allowed to buy a horse, and I always had to work to afford to keep them. I think that makes a big difference, because you learn to actually appreciate what you have. I'd have killed to have the chances your daughter's been handed on a plate.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top