totally heartless :(

Not totally heartless, just her way and after losing 2 already (I'm sure I read she had 2 pts on one of the posts) perhaps defences have now been built.

The young girl who's horse was due to be pts and was already horse shopping - perhaps she was sad but subconsciously wanted to feel better hence looking for the next one to fill the gap.
 
Ibblebibble said:
sorry i didn't mean to offend anyone:( i guess i am one of lifes emotional ones and find it harder to understand people who show no emotion:(
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not offended :) guess its just a hard one as people deal with having horses PTS differently their emotions when it occurs also differ.
 
Not everyone looks on thier horse as their "baby" or part of the family like some do. Everyone is different and as long as she looked after it correctly when it was alive how she deals with its death although maybe different to how you would deal with it does not mean its wrong.

Each to their own I say. Don't judge others on how you view the world , that's what I think anyway.
 
Ibblebibble said:
sorry i didn't mean to offend anyone:( i guess i am one of lifes emotional ones and find it harder to understand people who show no emotion:(
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Not offended at all, dont worry about it, the spectrum of emotions involved in grief and how people deal with them is huge. People process things differently and many do so behind closed doors, just as some cope by detaching from the event and plan for a life without the person or animal they will lose, its sometimes to painful for them to see it through and avoidance is easier. :(
 
Some people cope differently. My horse was PTS in August 2010, and I was away as I'd just got my A-level results and was off celebrating- he suddenly deteriorated and the kindest thing was to have him PTS. When mum told me, I didn't cry really. 3 days later, sitting with a good friend (totally non-horsey) and we were laughing and chatting I started sobbing and just couldn't stop. I'd been to a show as a groom for my sister the day before and had managed to let people know about Cheeky without a wibble...
 
Ibblebibble said:
sorry i didn't mean to offend anyone:( i guess i am one of lifes emotional ones and find it harder to understand people who show no emotion:(
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I don't think anything you said could be construed as offensive... Just people are different in how they deal with death in any situation I guess...

I don't do crying and will fight tears... I just don't get the "let it all out you'll feel better" approach which I will agree works for some... Nothing about a snotty nose, puffy face, eyeballs like grapefruits, nausea and a banging headache makes me feel better... :D The idea of breaking down in public ranks right up there as one of the most embarrassing things I could do... My sister, bleh, she bawls at the drop of a hat...:p

That's not to say I haven't felt like someone has punched me in the stomach, folded and howled like a wolf on steroids... Only ever in private though...

:)
 
wench said:
Death is part of life. What does crying and howling about do? Not a lot!
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I agree that death is part of life, but it doesnt steer away from how painful it can be to lose someone/something that meant so much to you. I suppose for some people, crying is how they grieve, or an emotion they just cant keep in.
 
Buds_mum said:
Maybe it was completly different circumstances. I loved and adored my old horse who was pts for various health reasons last month. I miss him dearly.

However his death at 27 was not half as 'sad' and upsetting as holding my friends 6 yr old mare who was hit by a speeding driver. That was horrible, words cannot even describe the anguish in that situation.

It does not mean I am heartless, just personally seeing my long loved old boy ending his life with strength and dignity was actually ok, not great, not a happy experience but the best it could be.

Holding Gem's head whilst she lay in her own blood, screaming was sad, horrific and will stay with me forever.
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:( so sorry
 
I've lost 2 dogs and 4 horses suddenly and both my parents and recently had a very close friend die tragically whilst on holiday and I cried like a baby as soon as I heard the news. I cried like crazy straight away when I lost my animals but went for months without really crying when my mum died 18 months ago. My dad died 16 years ago and I've still not really hit the tears yet.
Not sure why but maybe as my pets were not expected as was my friend but my parents were both very I'll and I had sort of resigned myself to losing them.
In any case I think there is not right or wrong way to feel or grieve and just because someone doesn't seem upset doesn't mean they are heartless.
Everyone is different. I'm one of those odd people that feels closer to animals than to people so tend to get more upset initially than when losing human friends. But also I think it is a coping mechanism too as losing my only blood family is a big deal and for me I'm scared that if I start to cry and grieve than I might not be able to stop. One day I'm sure I'll be able to confront my loss and really let go. Until then I'll be brave and pretend to all and sundry that I'm ok and getting on with life.
 
Ibblebibble said:
sorry i didn't mean to offend anyone:( i guess i am one of lifes emotional ones and find it harder to understand people who show no emotion:(
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Not offended at all, death is hard and hits people in different ways. I had to be carried off the yard when I lost Seren last October, I wanted to be strong but I was a mess, a shaking,hysterical awful mess, but we are all different....
 
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