View
Well-Known Member
OP, have you told your instructor what is happening when you hack? If I lived close enough, I would gladly walk with you. I have spent time walking out with a client, eventually progressing to hacking with her.
Totally lost confidence hacking - help.....
- Thread starter Donuts
- Start date
Donuts
Active Member
Yes I have told her, I think it’s difficult for anyone whose not been there to understand !
Not sure where you live , probably miles away , what a pity I would have taken you up on your offer .
I think the sitting about waiting for my friend increases my anxiety as I do not do anything else at weekends now ( I mean nothing !) due to hanging around for her
Not sure where you live , probably miles away , what a pity I would have taken you up on your offer .
I think the sitting about waiting for my friend increases my anxiety as I do not do anything else at weekends now ( I mean nothing !) due to hanging around for her
be positive
Well-Known Member
It is not that difficult to have empathy, it sounds as if she may not be the right instructor for you, as a YO and instructor I would be upset to think someone on my yard was as unhappy as you are and spent their whole weekend waiting for a "friend" also on the yard who may appear to be trying to help but in reality is being unfair by not at least trying to come up at a set time.
I am more like aus in that I would have taken you under my wing and spent time trying to help, you would be a "project" that I would be working with to build up your confidence, there are other YO's out there who will help, have empathy and enjoy the challenge and the same with instructors many will know how you feel even if they are full of confidence it doesn't mean they cannot help and will not have ideas of what will work for you, it usually comes down to having experience, good all round knowledge and being sensitive to the clients needs.
TotalMadgeness
Well-Known Member
I was in the same position about 2011/2012. I left the incredibly toxic livery yard I was on and moved to a tiny private yard with a very experienced supportive YO and a couple of sensible mature liveries I could hack out with. But my confidence was zero - I couldn't even sit on my lovely horse in an arena without being convinced I was about to die! In the end I swapped my horse for a 5yo cob... who I still have and adore. At the time of buying him I couldn't sit on him either (you should have seen me at the viewing - hilarious!!). However. I took my time. Starting with groundwork - lunging & long lining etc. Then lunging with his tack on. Then after a lunge a sit on the horse then off. Everytime I got on him I sat for a little longer, eventually building it up to do a few steps. And so on.
Hacking out was nigh impossible even with my husband walking beside me attached to a lead rope. With a supportive friend I went and rode some safe old cobs at a riding school who did hacks. I was terrified and had to just sit there and bear it. Not pleasant but I survived.
In 2016 I bought my own place and got another pony as a companion for my horse. I started hacking out again at the end of 2016 beginning of 2017. Literally started with walking up and down the driveway. Then I ventured out on the road - started by going a few yards then turning back etc. Always with my friend on my other pony.
I'm still nervous but can manage longer and longer hacks - in walk & with a companion. I've even managed to deal with a few scary incidents. Not quite managed open country yet - that is the next hurdle.
Basically what you're going through (which is awful) can be dealt with - it may take a different horse, it may take a different riding companion, it may take therapy and it may take a (very) long time involving thousands of baby steps - but the way you feel CAN be changed.
You might find a balance strap (on the front of the saddle) is useful so you can hold on without pulling on the horse. Or you can try a RS Tor strap. These may help you feel a little more secure.
Good luck!!
Hacking out was nigh impossible even with my husband walking beside me attached to a lead rope. With a supportive friend I went and rode some safe old cobs at a riding school who did hacks. I was terrified and had to just sit there and bear it. Not pleasant but I survived.
In 2016 I bought my own place and got another pony as a companion for my horse. I started hacking out again at the end of 2016 beginning of 2017. Literally started with walking up and down the driveway. Then I ventured out on the road - started by going a few yards then turning back etc. Always with my friend on my other pony.
I'm still nervous but can manage longer and longer hacks - in walk & with a companion. I've even managed to deal with a few scary incidents. Not quite managed open country yet - that is the next hurdle.
Basically what you're going through (which is awful) can be dealt with - it may take a different horse, it may take a different riding companion, it may take therapy and it may take a (very) long time involving thousands of baby steps - but the way you feel CAN be changed.
You might find a balance strap (on the front of the saddle) is useful so you can hold on without pulling on the horse. Or you can try a RS Tor strap. These may help you feel a little more secure.
Good luck!!