Tough day today, need some strength!

benson21

benson21

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Have been really struggling with pain today, I think the cold is now getting into me, I have spent most of the day lying flat, and feeling a bit miserable. Actually said to my OH that I cant stand the thought of my life being full of pain anymore, physical more than mental.Although I am finding it hard that driver is around as though nothing has happened, whereas me, still on strong pain killers, now looking possible we wont be able to foster, and walking like a 70 year old!
I know this feeling will pass, think I am just feeling down.
 
It will get better. Promise.
I don't know what happened, but guessing a car accident that was someone else's fault?

A year ago I was assaulted, had my knee cap kicked round the back of my leg, in several pieces! I've been through hell this year, in a whole world of pain...wishing I'd lost the leg altogether, wishing I could just die...sounds extreme but the pain has been unbearable. Been sent to counselling and put on AD's to help me deal with it all and the addiction to Tramadol I've developed.

Also had to deal with being told I'd be walking with a stick forever, then being told there WAS a surgery option, going throu surgery after eight months of working hard on recovery, and going back to being bed bound....

They never caught the guy who did it to me. Never will. That is the hardest bit to deal with for me, so I know where you are coming from. Thinking that someone out there is walking around with no consequences to bear for their actions. I hope one day something happens to ruin their life.

*hugs* not much anyone can say to help...I know that because nothing anyone said helped me.
 
You poor love, many hugs, and get many hot water bottles, it's been miserable weather that takes anybody's spirits down and you have had plenty of that the past couple of years, but fought back and you will do again.:):)
 
I have spoken to Dr and he has told me the pain clinic wont do anything any more than he will. Driver has been prosecuted and charged with dangerous driving, but I am the one having to live with the constant pain, and the grief of loosing 2 horses.
Talk about woe is me!!!!!
 
teasle said:
Hello Benson 21, has your doctor referred you to a pain management clinic?
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if she was relying on that she would be in a bad state, i have been waiting for months!

Benson, i have had constant pain for 3 and a half years, pain killers take the edge off, but each step hurts, lying in bed hurts, it all hurts lol. the way i see it is that i could be way worse (many are) and if i want a quality of life then I have to get on with it. Life is too short to lie on the couch and feel sorry for myself so i get up in the morning and get my son off to school, and get off to the yard with the dog.
You are just having a bad day, it will be better tomorrow. watch something to make you laugh. Don't think about that cretin, easier said than done i know but don't let him bring you down further. You have done brilliantly so far, of course you will have off days.

I know you said it is more physical than mental but have they offered any counselling for what has happened?
 
benson21 said:
I have spoken to Dr and he has told me the pain clinic wont do anything any more than he will. Driver has been prosecuted and charged with dangerous driving, but I am the one having to live with the constant pain, and the grief of loosing 2 horses.
Talk about woe is me!!!!!
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I feel for you, it must be very very difficult. x
 
Yes I had counselling since the accident right through to just after the trial. I feel mentally I am ok about the accident, just the pain getting me down! But hey ho, toommorrow is another day, and another fresh morphine patch!! Hurray!!!
 
Pain is a horrid thing to have to deal with at times it consume you, as you say they are around having a great life and poor you are the one left trying to pick up the pieces.This time of year does not help, the dark days, cold weather and any injury will play up more in the cold damp weather. You have come through so much and you still have a way to go, but there are days when it just never seems to end, and bring any form of pain into the equation and it makes it harder to deal with, things that normally you can deal with become harder and harder to cope with. Are you on any form of pain killer,if its not working you might be as well to go to your GP and see what else they can offer you, there are also pain control clinics, which help you cope with your pain, I really do hope that things get a little easier for you, and it time they will it just sometimes feels like it will never end, but they will, keep strong and never give up. Take care
Chrissie x
 
I just mean that the pain clinic doctors specialise in a range of treatments for pain while your gp deals with all different condidions .
 
I guess it might be an idea for the pain clinic, I am on morphine patches and diclofenac, and use an ice gel, also electric blanket at night. I have had accupuncture before and will look for one tommorrow, the lady who done it for me before was insistant I should not be taking pain killers, just chinese herbs which I dont have any faith in.
 
benson21 said:
Yes I had counselling since the accident right through to just after the trial. I feel mentally I am ok about the accident, just the pain getting me down! But hey ho, toommorrow is another day, and another fresh morphine patch!! Hurray!!!
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goodness, i hope you don't think I was being flippant, I really wasn't. I was totally appalled by what happened to you. I was just trying to gee you up a bit and tell you how I cope with the pain thing.
 
festnuttyfairy said:
goodness, i hope you don't think I was being flippant, I really wasn't. I was totally appalled by what happened to you. I was just trying to gee you up a bit and tell you how I cope with the pain thing.
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Not at all hun, and thank you for geeing me up! Its what I need!
 
benson21 said:
I guess it might be an idea for the pain clinic, I am on morphine patches and diclofenac, and use an ice gel, also electric blanket at night. I have had accupuncture before and will look for one tommorrow, the lady who done it for me before was insistant I should not be taking pain killers, just chinese herbs which I dont have any faith in.
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It might be worth asking if you could have Oral morph, I did find that was very good for me, or perhaps Gaberpentine or tramadel, not sure of the spellings but they were the only one that ever worked for me, just a thought.
 
Whilst I'm certainly not advocating that you give up the morphine and diclofenac, etc, I'd certainly try the acupuncture again. I've found it to be almost miraculous - not for injuries as bad as yours but extremely painful nevertheless.
I wonder as well, have you had NHS physio or private?
I have had both and found that the private therapist was much more effective. She treated my whole body, even though I went for treatment for a trapped nerve in my neck, and said that all physio students are taught to be holistic.
The NHS therapist was only allowed to treat my broken ankle, even though it had affected my whole body (broken in a fall, then using crutches for 2 months).
You have my sympathy and I can assure you that the driver will get his at some point. I've seen it happen time and time again, even though it sometimes takes a while. Have you sued the driver for damages? Perhaps he could pay for physio for you!
Here's hoping you have a better day tomorrow.
 
Hi Benson, sorry to hear youre feeling so low,I know chronic pain can really bring you down, and you really shouldnt have to just try to get by.:o
Please ask your doc to refer you to a pain management team, they should be more in tune with what analgesia's available to manage your type of pain, they will work with you to hopefully try to alleviate your pain asap.
I work in palliative care and have seen good results For folks at home when the pain team become involved, nothing ventured ... Sometimes things just need tweaked a bit to make a really big difference.
Hope youre feeling better soon
 
Sounds like your having an awful day :-( sometimes it can help to keep a memory box of things that have happened recently (pics, little notes to yourself etc)
Pain management is a specialism and will be far more beneficial than just GP care, it may also help to see an EMDR therapist for some psychological pain management the effects of this can be astounding!
I hope you feel better soon Hun :-) x
 
Another therapy which might help for the pain is guided self-hypnosis, qualified hypnotherapists can teach this, it doesn't make the pain go but can help you to distance yourself from it for some of the time.
 
Sorry your having a rubbish time. I hope you manage to sort the fostering out as that will give you a positive to look at.
Agree try to speak to gp about a different painkiller as the body becomes accustomed to them over time so less effective.
Ps gabapentin is for amputee patients rather than spinal injuries. And also physios are all trained in nhs but they have less time to treat the whole body than private physio-which is v v annoying!!
Hope tomorrow is a brighter day hun
 
I really feel for you and hope that you turn the corner soon.

I've recommended the following book a couple of times. It costs a couple of pounds from Amazon (second hand) and is very worthwhile and I would urge you to get a copy. Dr Art Brownstein - Healing Back Pain Naturally. Its written by a doctor who had dreadful back pain (he describes taking 3 hours to crawl to the bathroom in the night) and had a number of operations. Through natural pain management and working on strengthening his muscles he has turned his life around. Its clear and well written and not at all "new age", just full of common sense. You may find that it might help start to give you a fresh perspective in what sounds like a difficult time for you.

All the very best. X
 
Thanks you lot, I knew talking about it would make me feel much better!!
I have spoken to the pain clinic at the hospital who have told me I need to be refered. My Dr wasnt that keen, so they have said to go to Occupational health and they can refer me from there.
I am also calling in to a sports centre nearby which do accupuncture, to see if I can make an appointment.
 
How awful you are constantly in pain. Have you had any Bowen treatment, my OH had a year of pain related problems, spent most of his time in bed, DRS kept pumping him full of drugs and basically telling him to get on with it.

Bowen gave him his life back, it was amazing.
 
Also it may be worth considering doing some kind of self hypnosis for helping to manage the pain, think it has been succesfully used in some cases for child birth and also during some operations. Worth looking into for long term pain management, the mind is a powerful thing sometimes it just needs a new direction in which to channel it's energy! Best of luck and hugs
 
Nothing useful to add - just lots of hugs from here.

As someone that has benefited from what you do I will always be thanking you for the fab sponsored ride you put on. We need more people like you in the world! :o
 
Do push for a referral to the pain clinic. Your doctor may be sceptical but they CAN do more than he can. If nothing else they can look at everything in the round and use a combination of drugs, therapies and techniques to help you manage the pain.

There are a variety of painkilliers and ways to take them that they can look into. They can also work with you on things like physio and more alternative therapies like alexander technique/acupuncture/pilates etc whatever might work for you as well as things like NLP and CBT that deal with how you deal with and manage your pain and coping strategies.

It is expensive, that is why your doctor is reluctant to refer you so keep pushing.

Best of luck :)
 
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