Tough day.

Laura, my heart goes out to you - I know that feeling of seeing an empty box and then with a different face looking out.

Like others have said, I am sure she timed her leaving and told Herbie to look after you - or else!

Keep posting and keep writing - everyone's here for you, whenever you need us.

Kate x
 
Thankyou Kate Sturgess.

BobbyMondeo Herbie was going well but he's had a month off now and the way things are it looks like i won't be able to ride him for another two weeks now even if i wanted to. :( The rest of my life is prity rubbish still and seems to be getting worse. I realy realy need my girl to help me through this but she's not here.
 
Laura, you are strong! And being upset doesn't change that, you don't have to pretend everything is ok. You just have to muddle through one day at a time until it starts to get easier. But all along think of the happy memories you must have so many of, as i'm sure Lucy is doing the same. As above, i'm sure she waited so that you would remember her looking well, eating grass and having all those boys following her around like love sick puppies.

Chin up, but it's ok to let it all out too. Make sure you do. And if you don't want to be quite alone at those times, there are always people on here who will understand how you feel. xxx
 
LauraWheeler said:
Thankyou Kate Sturgess.

BobbyMondeo Herbie was going well but he's had a month off now and the way things are it looks like i won't be able to ride him for another two weeks now even if i wanted to. :( The rest of my life is prity rubbish still and seems to be getting worse. I realy realy need my girl to help me through this but she's not here.
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Aw Laura! She is, but just not in a form you can see. This may sound trite and stupid, but when I've been troubled recently (a lot!) and not known what to do, I close my eyes and picture my Mum, my Dad and my ponies and that calms me and makes my heart smile, even if they ARE gone. Then I DO know what to do.

Kate x
 
In the last few years ive lost a lot of loved ones, both human and animals and I really think that they are all still around in a way, if you still remember them and love them they will always live on in your heart and memory. they will always be with you. Sorry if that sounds soppy but I do believe it.
 
Thankyou somethingorother
i'm sure she waited so that you would remember her looking well, eating grass and having all those boys following her around like love sick puppies.
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That made me smile. Remembering the three boys all fighting over her when all she wanted to do was eat grass.

thankyou again Kate Sturgess and that doesn't sound trite and stupid.
 
Awww hun,

It was always going to be really tough when this day came... dont tourture yourself with the thought that you weren't there for her, things happen for a reason, and she now free is the gigantic paddock in the sky, with no pain, watching over you...

Chin up, concentrate on Herbie, and give yourself time, Lucy was a MASSIVE part of your life - you have to be strong...

Hugs xxx

p.s - we are all here for you...
 
Thankyou doratheexplorer. The one comfort i am clinging to at the mo is she wasn't in pain before she went. She didn't have to suffer at all. If i had made her wait till i got home and she had started to suffer i don't think i would have EVER been able to forgive myself.
 
Oh sweetie I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I am afraid it is a thing we all go through when we love someone. Eventually you will remember her with smiles and love and it will not hurt so much. Give yourself time. Don't let anyone rush you. One day at a time.... ((hugs))
 
Oh Laura, I can only say what others have already said really. I lost my horse of a lifetime 3 months ago. I loved him with all my heart just as you loved Lucy.

Time does heal and I still have quiet moments when I think of him and sit and cry. I guess I always will have moments like that. But I can sometimes talk about him now and remember all the lovely times we had together without becoming sad.

You will too.

Nobody else can really know how much you loved her just as I know nobody else can understand how I felt about my boy. Despite the sadness and pain from his leaving me for Rainbow Bridge, I would never swap a single moment I shared with him. To have him back, I would sell my soul.

Until I take my last breath on this earth, he won't ever be forgotten, he is still with me every day when I go to the yard and in my thoughts.

Trust me, you will be like this with your Lucy. She was a lucky lucky girl to have someone who loved her so very much. God bless you both.
 
Sorry if I'm duplicating other posts but I couldn't read them all - I'm a right wuss and your first post had me in tears. I made it to page two though and saw you got some good suggestions.

I know it's hard for you to have not seen her one last time but by making the decision for the vet to do it as soon as they could you did the best by the pony. That was the most selfless thing you could have done and shows what a good owner (hate saying that in relation to horses, should really replace it with carer :)) you were to her and will continue to be for Herbie and any other horses/ponies that are fortunate to be under your care!
 
Thankyou misst and sarahsum1.

taceann i'm so sorry for your loss. I hope i'm as strong as you. I can't even talk about her except on here as everytime i think of her i just start crying.

Thankyou Queenbee87 sorry i made you cry.
 
Oh hun.

Hugs.

I cried for hours at a time when Tigs went. I had very long commutes and would cry from start to finish, listening to the same song over and over whilst in the car. Probably drove others mad, but worked for me. I cried in meetings, out of meetings. I was a mess. Sorry to go on, but short of time and wanted to send you hugs and to say the crying is, as far as I and many others are concerned, normal. Painful. Cathartic. Normal.

More hugs darling.

And you didn't abandon her.
 
Just take it one day at a time hun!
Nobody on here or in the "real world" is going to think badly of you for crying over her. She was special and important to you.

I do think you have to try and put your efforts into Herbie, one step at a time. Go and hand graze him for a bit or something tomorrow and have some quality time. Talk to him about Lucy or whatever you need to do to help. It will get easier with time.
 
Laura, sweetheart, firstly just remember that there is no such thing as "what if", it doesn't exist.

The first horse I ever had put down, I wasn't there either, intentionally. I left it to a very good friend and our huntsman because I knew that they would be sympathetic and do everything professionally.

I am sure you are well aware that there is no dignity in a horse being winched up and it is far better that you weren't there, much better to have lovely happy thoughts of Lucy.

Unfortunately you have quite a time of sadness ahead of you though, sorry but its true and all those little things that you have described will continue and I know everyone says it, and I know you don't believe it now, but time really is the greatest healer.

I still have a browband and the set of shoes from children's first pony that we lost and dig them out every now and then when I want to.

I have said this before, but one day you suddenly realise that you have thought of something else and from that moment you can bring Lucy's memories out as when you have the time and strength to deal with them but not just yet.

My heart goes out to you, I know exactly how you feel and I its awful, but I know you will be strong, keep on going, get back in touch with Herbie and look for a new job - new beginnings and all that.

xxx

PS: Is there anywhere you can plant a tree in Lucy's memory? Your parent's garden? Try to pick one that flowers this time of year if possible :)
 
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Thankyou MrsMozart.

Thankyou BobbyMondeo I have some free time tom afternoon. I'll try to spend some time with him. Maybe secretly steal someone elses brushes to groom him with. I go and see him every morning and he always comes over now even though he doesn't get fed at the mo.

Thankyou Ravenwood. I think i have been in a bit of denile about the whole thing and today is the first day it realy hit me that i'm never going to see her beautiful face again. Sadly my parents garden is teny tiny so can't plant a tree for her there and i'm moving on from where i am now but when i have a place to stay and call my own (one day) I'll plant a tree just for her.
 
big hugs Laura, if you are 1/4 of a mum to Harvey as you were to Lucy, he will be one very lucky pony. I have never known someone so dedicated to their pony, your posts always bring a tear to my eye. You have so much love to give and I know in time you willbe able to give that love to Harvey.
Take each day at a time and remember all the good times and the times she made you smile. It WILL get easier even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment.
 
LauraWheeler said:
I'll try to spend some time with him. Maybe secretly steal someone elses brushes to groom him with. I go and see him every morning and he always comes over now even though he doesn't get fed at the mo.
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See he loves you so much! Just try and focus your energy on him and try and keep busy. I know that helps me in times of grief.

We are all here for you
 
Oh hun I really feel for you :( I won't bother with a big long post on it as I know words won't amount towhat you're feeling, it is tough but time is a healer. Allow yourself to grieve and don't hold it all in.

When Tommy went last year, I was a mess two hours for the next 2 hours after. It was pissing down with rain and I was just in a heap on the floor on my own.
It was excruciating.

However. It DOES get easier, I promise you hun. You'll never forget her and likewise for her.

If you're free tomorrow,take herbie out on a really long ride, go for a gallop and just let it all out on your own. Scream, cry, whatever just lets it all out. I did, I took Bustie out and just cried it all out. As wierd as it sounds, it gave me some releif as everything that had built up that I couldn't let out, just came out.

It's nearly a year now. We got a new HW earlier this year to fill the gap [nothing will fill Tommy's shoes], who's in his old box and within a day of him being there, we had a robin appear again each morning who would sit on the door. Back when Tommy was ill, he was always in his box lying down and he had a robin who used to sit on his door most the day singing away. The robin disappeared when Tommy went. So to see the appearance of a robin again when we got the new HW, was comforting in a wierd way!

Rambling now and ended up doing a long post which I saidI wouldn't but there you go! Sorry :o Guess just trying to say it will get better and she'll be with you always, even if it is just spirit and soul now. Remember she's in you too, so is with you everywhere x x x
 
LauraWheeler said:
Thankyou Ravenwood. I think i have been in a bit of denile about the whole thing and today is the first day it realy hit me that i'm never going to see her beautiful face again.
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This is perfectly acceptable and understandable, you will still feel this for a while yet, I'm afraid, don't fight it, let your tears flow, go to a secluded place and scream, shout and cry as much as you want - far better to let it out than try to be brave. Then go and give Charlie and Herbie a cuddle - they will make you feel so much better.


Sadly my parents garden is teny tiny so can't plant a tree for her there and i'm moving on from where i am now but when i have a place to stay and call my own (one day) I'll plant a tree just for her.
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No problem, plant a rose or lily or anything then, it doesn't matter what it is, a nasturium will do!! It will give you and your parents something to tender - believe me, it really helps :)

xxxx
 
You said that other bits of your life are not too good at the momet and you don't know if you are strong enough to deal with them, without Lucy. You are, because Lucy helped you to develop the strength you have now. She taught you the skills you will use with other horses and ponies, starting with Herbie :) She also helped you to grow up from the 14 year old girl you were when you got her, to the young woman you are now, that is part of her legacy and I am sure she would be proud of you.
Good luck with Herbie and I am sure that Lucy will be at your shoulder, helping you to work with him to help him to reach his potential too.
 
Thankyou ncarter.

BobbyMondeo I'm trying to keep buisy everyone kepps offering me more time off work. I realy can't afford any time off but i would rather be buisy working than sat around doing nothing.

Binky01 what a nice story about the robin thankyou for sharing.

Ravenwood thankyou mabe i'll get a house plant. Something as beautiful as she was.

thankyou yorksG I hope i am even 1/4 as strong as Lucy.

thankyou HollyWoozle.
 
Big hugs to you Laura; I'm sorry you are feeling so sad today, but it is part of the grieving process, which everyone handles differently and lots of these posts have asured you of this, so i won't labour the point.

Lucy was so special because you gave her the chance to be and, like so many people including your vet have already said, maybe she waited until you couldn't be there, perhaps it was her way of making it a tiny bit easier for you. I think it was incredibly brave of you to let her go as soon as the vet felt it was best for her. It must have been a bit tempting to ask her to hold on, I really think that PTS is the final kindness we can pay to our animals although it is so hard to make the decision.

Don't be afraid to cry - I read a quote once that said that 'tears are the safety valves of the heart' and I know that, for me, this is so true! When it all gets too much a really good cry works wonders - I usually wait until I'm in the shower!

Someone had already suggested getting a new grooming kit for Herbie - I think that is a really good idea. I'm glad that you will have her shoes and I think a piece of jewellery out of her tail hairs will be a beautiful keepsake.

I think you live in or near the New Forest and used to ride Lucy there; not sure if you can do it there, but I'm sure you can arrange to have a tree planted in managed woodlands in memory of people, why not in memory of Lucy?

It's a lot for you to take in and deal with at the moment, so take your time and deal with it in your own way. Herbie will never replace Lucy, nor should he, he is his own 'person' after all; but he will be there for you I'm sure in his own way. Next time you find an apple, take it back for him...

There are certainly plenty of people here to offer you a 'virtual' shoulder to cry on, I'm sure that someone will be around at any time of day or night!

Take care xx.
 
Oh hun :(

It's so hard but I promise it will get easier. I still have Monty's feed bucket and my friend has suggested I plant some bulbs in it.

That way I will think of him in the Spring when the flowers come up.

xxxxxx
 
Thankyou Ommadawn I will get Herbie a new grooming kit, I was going to get him his own headcoller anyway and i think Red is going to be his colour. As i have said before the support i have recieved on here has been amazing. It is a comfort to know i can come on here and let it all out and not be laughed at or patranised. Just to be able to talk to people who understand is such a help. I know Herbie will never replace Lucy and that ws the idea of getting him before Lucy was gone. I have to say i'm glad i did i don't think i could look for another pony now.

Thankyou clipcloppop
 
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