Tough Decisions To Make

[a.n.o.n]

I am a regular but I wish to be anon for this one.

I have 3 ponies. An oldie who is no trouble at all, hes more of a trusted companion. I have a youngster who I am bringing on, who again is no trouble and is very straight forward.

Then I have my third gelding. He is hard work, he needs to be micro managed. He has always been difficult, strong, opinionated and a complete stress-head, I knew this when I bought him. I hadn`t realized just how difficult he was to manage, until I bought my youngster a year and a half ago, then by comparison, I found myself getting more and more frustrated about his behavior.

He has been checked by the vets, he has had various tests and bloods taken, all of which have come back clear. No obvious signs of lameness or issues. His saddle gets checked and reflocked regularly, his teeth are done every 3 months now (he is a swine if they are the tiniest bit sharp) and he sees a physio twice a year. My instructor is fantastic, very patient, and extremely supportive.

If he is feeling that way inclined, he will kick/threaten kick. If you try and tell him off, he will retaliate. He attacks my other ponies, sustained attacks, not just body language warnings. Some days we ride out and he is an angel, other days we have unpredictable explosions, and yes I have been thrown, thank fully for now my confidence is still intact, as I know it is just him.

I don`t enjoy working him, but his temperament dictates I can`t just retire him, as he needs work, otherwise his behavior gets worse.

Now, even to myself reading this back, thinks it is obvious what I need to do after the years I have put into him. Friends who I have discussed it with have said if I make "that" decision I have their utmost support, and that they know I have tried all I can for him.

But why am I finding it so hard to make that phone call? Why do I feel I have failed him? Why even when I am at my lowest ebb with him, do I believe if I give it another winter, or another summer he`ll come right?

I am hoping there are people on this forum, who have made this choice on an otherwise healthy horse, who can talk some sense into me. I am scared of how I will live with the guilt that I ended his life too soon?

I work full time and have a family, my time is at a premium and I know this is supposed to be fun, and it is with my other 2. I don`t know, I hope by writing it down it may help.

A brandy and toasted marshmellows for all who read to the end.

 

[PerfectPony]

Horses are an expensive hobby and you need to enjoy their company... Friends of mine had to have their mare PTS, she had sarcoids. One was on her head, she was unrideable but lovely on the ground and easy to do. Sometimes, like people horses have mental problems or serious undiagnosed health issues. If only us humans could be offered a quiet peaceful sleep ... Not a long, painful, traumatic time of suffering...?

 

[LauraWheeler]

Your horse sounds very much like My Herbie.
With me Herbie has found his forever home and by that I mean if there is ever a reason i can't keep him anymore he WILL be PTS. Herbs is only 12.2hh and very unpredictable. There is no way I could pass him on as I couldn't secure his future and the risk of him ending up with someone who wanted him as a childs pony is unthinkable.
Esp in this current climit there are so many good well behaved horses who are struggling to find homes.
Don't feel guilty about this desition as it sounds like the right one for him if you can't keep him anymore. I'll get slated for this but there are worse fates for a horse. Horses live in the here and now, they don't think about the future or death like we do.
You know your horse, do what you feel is right even if others don't agree. (((((((((hugs))))))))

 

[Buddy'sMum]

I'm so sorry you're in this situation but if you do make that decision please don't beat yourself up because you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. You haven't failed him - far from it, you've done your best by him.

 

[nutwood]

I'm so sorry you're in this situation but if you do make that decision please don't beat yourself up because you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. You haven't failed him - far from it, you've done your best by him.

I realise its never easy but take heart that you are taking responsibility for the animal and will do the deed in the most appropriate way. If only humans had the same option! You are not sherking responsibility by sticking your horse in a market, or selling him to someone else who may not be so patient and responsible.

 

[jhoward]

So he's just a horse with a few harmless quirks? Can you not find a new owner for him rather than kill the poor sod

 

[Izzwizz]

I had "the" decision with a mare of mine just short of a month ago. She had kissing spines, (was given back to me with it) and after a Summer of regular physio, rehab work etc, I had to admit defeat and have her pts. She was not the field ornament type, was too a stress head and would have been in more pain being inside as Winter sets in. It was hard and still is but at least I know what became of her, I could never have let her go anywhere else and wouldnt trust anyone to look after her in the right way. I also wanted to be sure she wouldnt end up in the wrong hands or injure anyone who thought they might "cure" her.

She is at peace now and is pain free. RIP little Sol. You will make the decision if you have to and you will know yourself if its right. I did, it just kept coming back to haunt me when I doubted myself, it felt so wrong doing the right thing
but I know it was right for Sol x

 

[Auslander]

So he's just a horse with a few harmless quirks? Can you not find a new owner for him rather than kill the poor sod

And this is why there are so many problem horses working their way down the chain.

 

[WelshD]

Oh goodness what a tricky one

I would probably have a good think about whether the pony would be happier in a home with more one to one attention (not a criticism of you but you do have a youngster to deal with as well as what sounds like a very busy life and you cannot be superwoman)

Perhaps consider a loan if you want to keep control of the situation

 

[Hoofing-it]

That's a tough one. I'm sure the decision you make will be carefully considered and you certainly shouldn't feel that you haven't done your best by him- it sounds like you've given him plenty more opportunity than many would have.

I'm guessing that he acts up just as badly for everyone and that it's not just a serious case of the two of you just not getting along? I'm sure you've considered and tested this avenue? (My last horse was a dangerous prat with previous owner, but just a bit quirky for me)

If his behaviour was unpredictable with everyone I too would be considering PTS for everyone's safety.

Best wishes

 

[cptrayes]

If you are sure he will deck other competent riders then I would have him put down.

 

[cptrayes]

So he's just a horse with a few harmless quirks? Can you not find a new owner for him rather than kill the poor sod

Oh yes, let's just pass him on and let him kill the next horse he attacks, or the next human he puts on the floor, shall we. Much kinder.

 

[WelshD]

I personally dont think there is enough information here for us to be completely sure of the correct action...

I think the OP needs to do some soul searching I honestly do. Perhaps the youngster seeming so lovely has taken a lot of the attention and the relationship with the gelding has gone downhill as a result, feeings of resentment, reluctance to spend time with him, irritability, short temper of any wrong doing may be subconciously creeping in..... The gelding must have been better at some point in the past or a decision would have been made ages ago so maybe he isnt all bad?

Of course there may be more we arent aware of. I dont understand the concept of readers thinking that no one else could straighten this horse out especially since the OP is anon and we dont know their competance level

 

[cptrayes]

OP is both competent with a youngster and nurturing an oldie. I personally have enough information to know that in her shoes I would put the middle one down and go and rescue something more deserving of her time from the meatman.

 

[flirtygerty]

So he's just a horse with a few harmless quirks? Can you not find a new owner for him rather than kill the poor sod

I sincerely hope that was posted tongue in cheek, our 'quirky mare broke my OH's ribs on two occasions, bolted when being long reined, dragging my OH behind, she literally had to be tied to a tree to stop her, quirky no, dangerous, very much so, mare was even worse under saddle, all checks done, when she was good, she was brilliant, when in a 'mood' homicidal, she is still the only horse I wouldn't hesitate to put a bullet into.
Quirky is my lad, who likes to bounce on gates till they open, twang elastic toggles, undoes farriers chaps, leadropes, haynets, annoying but not dangerous

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

OP you have to do whatever your gut tells you is the right thing. I've been here myself recently and it was really tough, however I did go ahead and PTS and the relief is enourmous xxx

 

[jhoward]

And this is why there are so many problem horses working their way down the chain.

Oh yes, let's just pass him on and let him kill the next horse he attacks, or the next human he puts on the floor, shall we. Much kinder.

I sincerely hope that was posted tongue in cheek, our 'quirky mare broke my OH's ribs on two occasions, bolted when being long reined, dragging my OH behind, she literally had to be tied to a tree to stop her, quirky no, dangerous, very much so, mare was even worse under saddle, all checks done, when she was good, she was brilliant, when in a 'mood' homicidal, she is still the only horse I wouldn't hesitate to put a bullet into.
Quirky is my lad, who likes to bounce on gates till they open, twang elastic toggles, undoes farriers chaps, leadropes, haynets, annoying but not dangerous

re read op...she brought him knowing his quirks that only seemed worse after getting yet another quieter youngster... really???

why is it people always blame the horse in my experience most of the time its the owner causing the issues/bad behaviour. people make horses and all that!

 

[cptrayes]

re read op...she brought him knowing his quirks that only seemed worse after getting yet another quieter youngster... really???

why is it people always blame the horse in my experience most of the time its the owner causing the issues/bad behaviour. people make horses and all that!

I read it thanks. Do you think she's the first person who has taken on a bad horse thinking she could solve its problems and found she couldn't?

 

[Auslander]

re read op...she brought him knowing his quirks that only seemed worse after getting yet another quieter youngster... really???

why is it people always blame the horse in my experience most of the time its the owner causing the issues/bad behaviour. people make horses and all that!

This horse doesn't sound like he's badly managed - he sounds like he may have a bit of a screw loose, as his behaviour is so unpredictable. He aggressively attacks other horses, kicks and means it, and has unpredictable explosions. I wouldnt want a horse like that on my yard, and I doubt that many of the sort of people who could deal with that sort of behaviour would actually want him. If passed on, he would most likely go to someone who thinks they can "fix" him, who will get then get hurt, sell him on, either to someone who will try again to fix him (probably with crystals), or someone who will beat the crap out of him. They will get hurt too, and he will end up at a crappy awful sale, where, with any luck,he will go for meat, rather than to someone who buys him for peanuts because he's pretty, then neglects him because they don't know any better, and they're scared of him.

 

[Flame_]

It wouldn't be wrong to put your unwanted horse down, he wouldn't know anything about it. Like cptrayes says, if you know he'll deck other competant riders, for other people's safety and to safeguard his future, if you don't want him pts is the most responsible thing to do. However if he is good at something (Jumping? Hacking? Gymkhana games races??? Maybe he's safe in a school but not out?) Just give some thought as to whether there's another situation and job out there that he would be happy in and treasured for, and if there is then help him find it if you can.

 

[justabob]

If you can handle a quirky horse without involving anyone else, that is your choice, IF you have to engage others to help in ANY way with a tricky horse then it becomes unreasonable.

 

[a.n.o.n]

First could I say thank you for the replies, a couple of them have reaffirmed what I am already thinking.


I have had this gelding for 6 years, he has always been the same. When I bought him, I was his 7th home in 2 years. He had been through the sales ring too <in sheer desperation, by a novice owner, needing a way out>. I have done far more with him than his previous owner had <because she was scared of him>.

He has not become more difficult because he had to share me with my youngster, he has always been difficult. Having an easy youngster as well as my old boy made me see how much of my time was soley devoted to thinking about him, trying to prevent issues, aggression, breaking through fences to get at other horses, biting, kicking etc. The list goes on, hence why I am now debating the PTS option.

 

[WelshD]

Oh dear... Yes i can see what you mean now

 

[star26]

If I were in your situation OP I'd PTS. With the market as it is right now, people are struggling to sell decent horses, let alone ones with 'issues'.
At least if you PTS you can guarantee his future. He won't end up being passed around from pillar to post, possibly being abused, ending up in the hands of unscrupulous people, before finally ending up at the meat man.- sounds harsh but it's what happens to so many

Don't feel guilty about considering this option, it's actually a very sensible and practical solution- and one which will give you peace of mind.

Good luck!

 

[noodle_]

So he's just a horse with a few harmless quirks? Can you not find a new owner for him rather than kill the poor sod

erm what?!

And this is why there are so many problem horses working their way down the chain.

this ^^^



PTS is not a huge deal....the big issue is people that dont...!....

if my horse had massive issues like that and i couldnt keep her she would be pts......! no question.

 

[Moomin1]

re read op...she brought him knowing his quirks that only seemed worse after getting yet another quieter youngster... really???

why is it people always blame the horse in my experience most of the time its the owner causing the issues/bad behaviour. people make horses and all that!

Kettle and pot.

 

[Adopter]

So he's just a horse with a few harmless quirks? Can you not find a new owner for him rather than kill the poor sod

I do not think sustained attacks on other animals is harmless

OP is trying to find a responsible way forward at a time when horses are difficult sell. I would never pass on an animal, once sold with problems all sorts of things happen that can be very distressing for the poor horse.

Some horses do have bad temperaments, you can not change this, they tend to get worse with age not better, if you feel it is time to say enough OP then I for one would support you.

 

[JennBags]

I'm with most of the other posters on here, who are saying if you make this decision, it is a brave and responsible one to make.

As LauraWheeler says, horses live in the present. They don't have any concept of the future, so having a horse PTS is not cruel despite what some people would have you believe.

You've had him a long time and tried everything you can, and you know in your heart that there's really only one outcome - it is a hard hard decision to make, but would you rather wait until after he seriously hurts you, or someone else, or one of your other horses?

 

[babymare]

I bought my mare knowing her "quirks" but given her quirks had lead to her being batteted and abused before i had her(reason i bought her) i vowed i would never pass her on. She was PTS sleep aged 14 in August after owning her 7 years wonderful years. Jhoward sometimes accepting thats best rosd to take is often kinder to horse.But trust me its a bloody hell of decision to make.

 

[Bobbly]

Lets face it, if OP hadn't asked for opinions she wouldn't be getting conflicting suggestions, this is OP's decision alone and justified if the horse is as bad as she says, no point in putting anyone/anything in jeopardy for the sake of a dangerous horse. After all, most people wouldn't stay with a violent partner would they? (though some might like the option to shoot them....!) Sounds like a not so tough call to me.