Trailer towing worries

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Anybody out there like to share their experience with towing terrors. I used to tow my horse everywhere with no problem but recently a journey of 10 minutes seems impossible to me and I don't sleep the night before😫 How do I get myself back on track. Would it have anything to do with my parents passing away within 9 months of each other.?
 
Absolutely yes ! Grief affects us all so differently. Since losing my Mum suddenly ive been a totally different person - half the person i used to be. I suffer terribly now with anxiety and complete loss of self belief. I can't offer much advice but i will be watching your post. But i just wanted you to know you're not on your own. Could counselling help (i was offered it but declined, choosing to bury my head in the sand).
 
I have had to do a lot of things on my own, including towing a trailer and horses for many miles, and breaking the task down into smaller parts helps. But it's always a worry - the best way for me of dealing with it is identify what worries me (loading, breakdown, problems with the trailer, navigating etc) and then formulate a plan of what to do if it does happen. Fear of the unknown is the worst thing - if you make it known and how to deal it is a whole different matter.
 
When I had to tow to the equine hospital which included a motorway I took my dad with me who is the calmest person ever. He used to drive lorries for a living and reassured me every step of the way. I'd say take someone with you who you can trust.
 
If you live near Leicester I can help for FREE - with expenses covered

EX LGV/B+E instructor + advanced driving senior observer
 
I lost my bottle. I was super confident when I first started towing - horse was a swine to load but I had no fear once he was on board. Then I had 2 incidents that completely hit me. First was on a 250 mile trip to Cornwall (from Cheshire) - I was going to do it on my own as I couldn't find a friend but at the last minute my non-horsey parents changed their mind and decided to come with me. We had just made it over the Devon border when the clutch went on my 4x4. My rescue cover were failing to answer the phone and the highways patrol towed us off the motorway to petrol station.
Then 6 months later I went to do a demo at an agric show up in the hills. Lovely day out but when I left sat nav told me to turn left out of the gate (I'd come in from the right) and proceeded to take me up and down 15% gradients on single track road with passing places! By the time I got off the hill I could smell the clutch and was in absolute bits. I drove the next 40 minutes home in tears. I don't think I towed again for about 18 months and sold the 4x4.
I still wanted to get out but it was so stressful to me. We got a new car to tow with - it was brand new which I know isn't always possible but for me part of the fear was that it would break on me again and it is our family car too. Hitching still troubles me as I know I'm projecting my fears and stresses - I reversed into the tow bar once and phoned my hubby in such a state. He was super calm and said, "don't worry, it's only metal" (I was expecting him to be furious) and when I moved the car away there wasn't a scratch on it!
My trips started out small - early morning trips to the farm ride 3 miles away on quiet roads and not even meeting anyone there so there was no pressure. Then riding club dressage 4.5 miles away early on a Saturday morning - asking for early times to avoid the traffic! Then I moved onto later times for dressage so there was more traffic. Then a training session 15 miles away. It has all been very slow and steady progress but I'm getting there - I drove to and from Cheshire Show (20 miles away) on both days in rush hour traffic and I've only been back towing for a year. I still haven't plucked up motorway courage but in time it will come.
Take your time, do what is right for you, make sure you have equipment you trust and get calm to support you throughout it all. Good luck x
 
It might be worth having a refresher lesson with a trailer trainer (unless you live near enough to ROG to take him up on his lovely offer). When you book you could explain to the instructor that you are really nervous and, rather than a 'how to do it' lesson you basically want to drive and drive and drive, with them supporting you, until you start to feel more comfortable. I have a lovely friend who teaches near Banbury, if that's your neck of the woods.

Also, have you got equine rescue cover? Then you can rest assured that, if you have a mechanical problem, you have the backup in place and you don't need to worry about being stranded.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll get back to it x
 
I've always been really nervous towing, I worry about other drivers' antics and of breaking down. We went out this weekend, two big horses in the trailer 30 miles away. We got there and back without issue, I parked up the trailer and as soon as I pulled out of the yard my towcar overheated! All the coolant had leaked out of a split hose.
 
Have you tried towing without the horses on board or with a small trailer? That may increase your confidence knowing you can't hurt your horse. When I was in the Army one of the lads had a nasty accident in his car, took him ages to build his confidence back up. He knew he was a good driving but couldn't take vehicles appearing on his right.

My wife suffered for a good few years when her grandparents passed and still does to some extent. She considered grief counselling and wishes she'd had some. It might help?
 
Thankyou so much to everyone who has replied to my query. Being a newcomer to the Forum I am astonished at the response by so many. I will certainly take on board all your advice and take it in small stages. I had witnessed some horrific accidents over the years which I suppose would not help my confidence.
 
Oh you poor thing. This is certainly a nightmare come alive. Your husband is very understanding, unfortunately mine just refuses point blank to go anywhere with me at all with the trailer. I use the trailer regularly but it is usually to deliver stuff for people so i am well used to towing through streets in cities and i would prefer to use it for my horse. Well done you for conquering your fear.
 
*raises hand* when I got my license at 18, I hooked up our enormous 3 horse angle load extended thing with the horses on board and tootled around the state quite happily. We then got a truck and again, I'd load up and off I went. Until it blew a tyre on the freeway hours from home, fully loaded as I was heading off with two horses to a 3DE, and I waited three hours to get the tyre changed. Then it overheated (again, hours away) and again and again.... I lost all confidence in the truck, and sadly for me I began to forget all the reliable miles it took me, and focussed on the bad! I'm an incredibly paranoid person and I began to make up all sorts of awful scenarios, like the thing bursting into flames while I was stuck in traffic. Anyway, I downsized back to a float, a small float, and I have a nice car. Everything is well within the cars towing capabilities, one horse etc but I'm NERVOUS. My main thing being that I'll get a sway up and the crash. Every bump or gust of wind has me clutching the steering wheel and my heart rate accelerating. I'm getting better the more I do, just small trips, taking my time, only going faster on excellent stretches of road. I've got to tow the float with OH's stuff in it as we move properties, it's going to be at least five hours of driving a day for a few days, so I reckon I'll be pretty confident by the end of that!
 
Well today I finally plucked up the courage to take him out for a spin to our local village about 3 miles away- he loaded fine and I set off. First obstacle was a huge low loader with a tractor on top of it and we just about squeezed between the hedge and it, so ok thank goodness. Got to the village, round the roundabout to come home, everything fine. Only hiccup we had was that about 500 yards from my lane he started pawing the floor which didnt help my nerves at all. Turned down the lane and got back into the yard. I didn't immediately off load him but let him stand for a bit so was pretty pleased today. Have booked in for a forest ride on Thursday which is about 12 miles away so hopefully all will go well.
 
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