Trainer Loyalty Dilemma

[Ample Prosecco]

The RI I have used for the last 18 months has been fab for me and Lottie. She is also really commmitted, rings me after comps to see how I got on, squeezes me in last minute if I have a wobble, willling to travels with me sometime etc.

I had a lesson last weekend which was crappy/scrappy. Lottie was rushing and it all felt horrible with no rhythm. RI was supportive but everything was attributed to my riding, and I was given lots of instructions. By the end of the lesson I felt a bit deflated but felt I just needed more time to re-discover some confidence and form.

She is away this weekend and as I really want to maintain consistency, I took the opportunity to try someone new yesterday. I've known her for years as she was an Uber talented Pony Club kid, not much older than my girls. But has already been placed at 4* (on her home produced U18s horse) and is a very popular trainer locally. She was brilliant. She watched us jump a few linked fences then said she thought actually the issue was Lottie not me. She said Lottie looked anxious and also rusty. That she was rushing the fences but once there, seemed unsure what to do. So I was presenting in an ok rhythm, on an ok line, and I could see a stride but Lottie would then change. She said some horses hate their riders falling off. Lottie has had me fall off her 4 times, then an 8 week break. So she needs to relax and get over that. My job was to sit quietly and let her figure it out. We did a 4 fence pattern and just kept doing it, with a soft rein, tolerating misses, regrouping after the fence by circling and getting her listening and then calmly carrying on round. It worked brillianly and by the end she was staying in a rhythm and meeting fences sweetly. I want to stick with this trainer, but feel really bad about my old one who has already been messaging me with thoughts/plans about gettung us 'back on track.

I like my old trainer I just think this one is more skilled as a horse-person, therefore has a better eye for what is going on.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I think you have to go with what suits you and sometimes that means switching instructors, although I have often used 2 at the same time both brought different things that we did benefit from.

It's the nature of the business really they probably are used to clients coming and going.

 

[ycbm]

That is so hard, AE, especially if they are both local and you will bump into your old trainer and she will know who you have moved to. I think the only thing to do is probably to be right up front about it, but I don't know how she might take that. I know a flatwork trainer who goes ape if you go to anyone else.

If this is the same trainer who encouraged you to kick on through when Lottie was sore, I would have no hesitation changing, and might even tell her that was the reason.
.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

No it's not that trainer. I fell off 3 times with my normal trainer 3 days before 2nd rounds in what was meant to be thr final tune up lesson, before comopeting, as Lottie was slamming on the brakes. She agreed she was behaving unsually for her, but that she looked sound and was moving well. Lottie was in a newish bit and we hoped it was just that, so the following day I gate-crashed a friend's lesson with someone else, just to check out if she was back to normal in the old bit. That trainer said more leg when she stopped, but 1 stop was enough for me to end the lesson there and then, as I was not prepared to keep asking her to jump.

To be fair to that trainer, she does not know Lottie and Lottie did look sound. And I was quite passive, as I was feeling nervous having come off so often the day before. She needed a vet with a very good eye to see the lack of movement through the back and signs of guardedness, - then the scans to confirm. So coming round with more positive riding and more leg was not unreasobale. But just not right for Lottie.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

I think you have to go with what suits you and sometimes that means switching instructors, although I have often used 2 at the same time both brought different things that we did benefit from.

Yes, maybe they can bring different things to the table and I can use both, for a while at least, and see how it goes.

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

I would say something along the lines of 'thank you for all your help so far and I love how proactive you have been with our training plans and going above and beyond to help us at competitions, however I feel a little in a rut right now mentally and I think perhaps a fresh approach might help me to focus on something different and not overthink the current situation. I gate crashed a friends' lesson the other day and seemed to get on well so I am going to have a few lessons with 'x' and see if that helps us in the short term. I am keen not to tread on anyones toes so thought I would reach out to explain, and I hope that we are still able to work together in the future..' or something along those lines.

 

[MissTyc]

Back when I still did coaching, I actively encouraged clients to visit other trainers for clinics and new experiences. Sometimes they then preferred that trainer. Often they came back to me a few months/years later. All good. Honestly, it can be a relief when a client gets a fresh perspective to get out of a rut. Sometimes you just can't see the wood for the trees when the relationship has become close. So, be open and honest and friendly and I am sure your current trainer will understand. I even had one client who had a new trainer for 6 months, I heard nothing at all, no goodbye, then she called me out of the blue to come ride her horse at a competition as she had lost her bottle about a month earlier and didn't dare reach out to me until she was actually in tears.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

I actually think my trainer will be fine. I am also totally for people to choose support from whoever they want.

 

[SEL]

I'm a total over thinker when it comes to things like this! Add in a fair element of people pleaser and I can lose sleep.

But usually people are ok about it if you say you just think a different approach is needed right now.