Trainers - Where does yours stand on loyalty

[BBH]

General afternoon chat, was just wondering whether anyone's trainer has made them feel bad by wanting to have lessons elsewhere, whether additional lessons or its time to move on altogether. If so is it an insecurity thing or just don' want anyone else to have ' their business'. For those who have moved on how did they approach the subject without causing upset.

 

[Rachel1]

The guy I train with regularly (Keith Robertson) never makes me feel bad if say I have a lesson booked with a different trainer but I'm always quite open about it. However if I was going to change to a different trainer regularly I know what you mean it would be very tricky working out how to approach it - I would prob feel really awkward about having to tell him, but luckily I don't have that prob cause he's fab!

I guess how you approach it depends on why you are changing to a different trainer. If I felt I could be getting more from someone else then I would try not to feel guilty as after all lessons don't come cheap!

 

[Mamamia]

It can be a tricky situation. At my previous yard my trainer was also the YO. The general view was that other trainers were not welcome on the yard. I never tested the theory but it did cause me a problem. Anyway, I settled it very diplomatically by having a falling out with said trainer (not training related) and leaving the yard all together

. I now have a great trainer and both my confidence and riding have improved tenfold. So a change, in my case, was well worth the hassle.

 

[Petrie]

It's a tricky situation, and one that I've found awkward myself, when I've wanted to move on. I've tended just to disappear off!

But having got to know a few trainers over the years, and then recently becoming one myself, I think the pupil gets more stressed about it than the trainer!

I really wouldn't mind if someone wanted to move on, it's totally normal, people come and go for all sorts of reasons.

A trainer friend said to me while I was doing my exams that it's the one thing you've just got to be thick skinned about. One minute you'll have loads of pupils, then you'll have a bad lesson with one person, who'll tell all her friends, and suddenly you're out of favour.

Or someone who you've tought for a few years will get bored and move on to someone different.

Certainly the trainers that I know haven't given it much thought, they're a tough bunch!

 

[pennyh]

my regular instructor is fine about me having odd lessons with other trainers , but will tell me if she thinks they are not that good or she doesn't like thier methods , but will add but go see what you think for yourself

 

[BBH]

I think it really depends on the individual by the sounds of things, and like its been pointed out people move on for different reasons. I am changing because I am moving locations which is not a negative thing but I was made to feel bad and my trainer was unhelpful about recommending anyone in the area I am moving to even though he competed there and would have known loads of people. Left a bad taste cos I thought we had got on well.

 

[CSYMolly]

I train with two people the are basically similar but one sometimes picks up on things the other doesn't. Neither minds, I was very open about it and thank goodness they were fine.

 

[alicedove]

I had an instructor who was also a friend and she was pretty possessive about me having anyone else, I wanted other trainers for a bit of a freshen up, change of scene, new info you know.... and she was a bit grumpy when I did that.

it was as though I was her muse or something because she was not trianing anyone else, she was in another career by then... must admit I did learn an awful lot from her without realising it at the time. Mine of info.

 

[Humphrey]

I'm a qualified teacher at basic AI level - I personally tell my pupils that there will come a time when I've reached the limit of what I can teach them and that they will want to move on.

I even advocate lessons with other people and recommend trainers etc. I know from my own experience that everyone has something to teach you and the more variety you get the better really.

Some of my pupils find they can't afford the really top trainers so they enjoy their lessons with me but treat themselves to a posh one every so often.
And, you know, people come and go, its the ebb and flow of life. Sometimes they move on or reach a plateau and need fresh input to progress. Sometimes you just don't get on and sometimes they stick with you for years.

I think any trainer worth his salt would appreciate a pupil who has an enquiring mind and wants to learn.

But of course top trainers may also be a bit precious about their methods and not want their pupil to be confused by other methods but they should be willing to discuss the various merits and why they choose to do things the way they do.

But I think a canny pupil can get round any preciousness with a bit of flattery and respect - don't go bleating at your regular trainer that the other one does it all differently. If you want to switch between 2 [or even more] then you need to adapt to their various styles out of respect - or why pay for the lesson?

But if you want to change for good then you have to judge it by your relationship with your trainer really - if you can discuss it great butb if you cant then just beggar off! Just don't expect to get priority if you want to go back.

Try reading Paul Belasik's riding towards the light. Its a lovely book and tells of his experiences and how he has taken elements from all his trainers.

 

[ajf]

I have a great trainer for the babies when there being broken and just starting and hes absolutely fine with me taking the older horses to other trainers for the more advance stuff!

 

[Rachel1]

[ QUOTE ]
I am changing because I am moving locations which is not a negative thing but I was made to feel bad and my trainer was unhelpful about recommending anyone in the area I am moving to even though he competed there and would have known loads of people. Left a bad taste cos I thought we had got on well.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's a shame - I'd have thought as a trainer that would be one of the nicest reasons to lose a client, you can help it if you're too far away! Better than you having to move cause you don't find his/her methods suitable,etc!

 

[sw123]

My "everyday trainer" is very local, a good friend and v v helpful. She uses the same dressage trainer as i do but whereas she has weekly lessons with her i just have montly clinics whivh she watches so that we're all working on the same lines. I used to jump with her too but then starte) do to do more (Although she is competing a 3star/4star level) show jumping than her and wanted more of show jumper. I started to go to a show jumper, who is absolutely fab and see her fortnightly now. Original instructor understood why and has actually been for a few lessons herself. Did go on a clinic with 2 other jumpers this summer, which I told my jump trainer about, she was all for different input and encouraged me. 1 was great, the other a disasster after which i rang jump trainer in tears saying i'd made a huge mistake. She laughed and sorted out all the probs again!!

Think being open and building a good relationship with them makes it much easier

 

[RachelB]

My instructor (who was also my YO) got a bit shirty with me and my friend when we were both going for lessons with my other instructor (my boss, and my friend's friend). She does, however, always advocate us going out and having lessons with our RC and attending clinics at local ECs. She does make her living from lessons though, fair enough, but what she didn't understand until I explained was that she and my boss teach in very different ways although with the same principles. YO is taught by a German-taught trainer, and teaches more about how the horse is going. Plus she doesn't have any of her own to teach on (unless I'm mega-lucky and can ride her boy). My boss is taught at the TTT which is more "Spanish Riding School" centred, she has a RS so had horses for me to ride, and she focuses very much on how I ride and my position. I find both instructors invaluable in their own rights, and now YO is happy that I wouldn't abandon her for my boss because I love having lessons with both. Plus my boss charges double so I can't afford it all the time

I can see why someone would get upset, but honestly it's the pupil's choice and your current instructor getting silly about it won't help you to decide to stay with them!

 

[shelly018]

My sons trainer went from yard based to freelance and we tried really hard to keep with him. He really didn't mind us using other trainers and we did catch up with him when we could. We are now training with his partner which is great as we get the best of both worlds as they train very similar and we get to see him on a weekly basis.

 

[Seahorse]

At my last yard the YO was an international event rider, it was stated in the rules that no other trainers were allowed on her yard, so therefore everyone had to have lessons from her.
I had a flatwork lesson with her and although good not really my way of doing things, so I had a couple of jumping lessons with her and they were fab.
Meanwhile I was struggling with my dressage schooling on my own, I really wanted my old classical dressage trainer but wasn't allowed.
In the end I moved yards to somewhere you can have who you like!

I have been training with Markus Bauer, but I have to travel to him and now I don't have my lorry it's very difficult so I have started having my old instructor back and my last lesson was so good I'm sticking with her from now on!

 

[Hattikins]

Both my dressage and SJ trainer are very happy to hear about how ive got on with other trainers at clinics and one off lessons etc. They never make me feel bad about going to other people and often we chat about what i did and how Hattie went so we can work on the think we did in the clinics etc. i had been to. Although to be honest i would prefer to go to the two trainers i have now than go to most other trainers unless they were seriously good or had a very good reputation

 

[wizoz]

Actually this is an interesting topic because MY trainer has had enough of his trainer and wants to leave her but knows that she is going to hit the roof, as he is her only GP pupil and therefor she needs him to make herself look good! The trouble is, he is now far better than what she can teach as she never got to that level herself. He has tuition from a chap called Henk someone but that's once a month and that had to come through HER recommendation. So as we speak, he is still in a turmoil on how to broach the subject

 

[kerilli]

my trainer doesn't mind at all if i go to someone else, unless i stupidly let them abuse my horse (as has happened, with one particularly huge name), in which case he really doesn't approve at all - for the horse's sake.
he is secure and confident enough in his knowledge and system that he doesn't worry about me coming back to him with questions and different approaches... unlike a lot of trainers, i think!

 

[Bossanova]

I think it's pretty much given that people will try out other people and thats up to them. It's no bad thing to seek other people's opinions. My trainer gets a friend of his to teach his regular pupils from time to time to get a fresh pair of eyes on the situation.

 

[I_A_P]

i moved on from one not because they were bad or anything at all..but i felt completely stuck and needed fresh ideas and it helped tremedously-iv always been totally open about it as it would only create bad feeling if they found out without me having said anything....and the lady i now have is more dressage orientated so is very happy for me to have jumping lessons elsewhere...

 

[Stella]

I use two trainers regularly - both for flatwork. They compliment each other well, but they concentrate on different aspects of my riding and my mare's way of going, so I really benefit form using both. One tends to be unable to provide lessons for much of the summer because she is away so much with her daughter (who is on our National Young Dressage Riders Team), so I found myself having the occasional lesson with the other. Then I came to want to go to them both regularly. They each know about the other, they are friends and its works well.

Moving on from an instructor is a tough one though! I've done it twice. Both times, I've booked another lesson when I really didn't want one (due to awkwardness) and later, when I've simmered on it, I've texted them saying that I had a financial problem (this is always true in one form or another) and I needed to cancel my lesson and not arrange another for a time (not technically lying you see). I feel sure they knew what I meant, but it saved discomfort for both of us!

 

[PaddyMonty]

I dont train with anyone on a regular basis so dont have the problem.
However, as a trainer I encourage my pupils to have lessons with other instructors. If nothing else it just acts as a check that I'm not missing something critical. If I can I go along with them and watch. You can learn something just watching others teach.

 

[appyjude]

Loyalty is one thing, emotional blackmail is quite another. Being loyal to your trainer doesn't mean blind obedience or foresaking all others (you aren't married to them

)

What it does mean is being open and honest about things. You have been and your trainer is behaving in a rather churlish fashion. Where are you moving too - I am sure there are plenty of people here who could give you super recommendations.

 

[pocket]

Sorry had a bit to drink......my trainer is the best in the south east......mark.....dressage trainer. He has seen me through thick and thin over the past two years and I would never stray. He is the best dressage trainer with trainers for tomorrow and Ralph loves him too

so no worries about straying........