Training the human?

C

chaps89

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My boyfriend & I are looking to get a house together come Autumn and I know one of his future plans is that he would like a dog.
His family has always had dogs so he has been used to them since being tiny, and my parents got their dog whilst I was still in school (long time ago now & dog is somehow still going!) & I have been bought up around friends dogs etc.
However, he has 2 dogs currently (unfortuantely he is still at home whilst clearing a mountain of debt, due to be finished end of summer) who have had no training/socialising and I really struggle to get on with them/how they treat them.
My parents dog is much loved, but has been taught manners & we have expectations (not that she ever lives up to them- she is a dalmatian and ruled by her tummy!) but she isn't titbitted which helps with not scrounging, will walk nicely to heel & has a good recall, knows not to go upstairs, she's allowed on the sofa, but by invitation only etc etc.
My boyfriends dogs do pretty much as they please- 1 is in her early teens & most definitely going senile, the other is about 18 months old & typical puppy.
Neither seem to know any boundaries. They bark consistently, jump up at people, are allowed anywhere in the house/on sofas/beds etc as they wish, cannot be walked on the lead safely (puppy managed to trip/pull over my OH & narrowly missed being run over by a car as he sped away in the opposite direction), if you are eating they will sit practically on your feet waiting for titbits (which they get from anyone but me) the list goes on.
Puppy is very strange & goes through spells of cowering in a corner refusing to move for anyone & older dog has an aggresive streak- she jumped on the bed the other day, OH asked her to move, she ignored him, so he gentley pushed her, and she growled nastily & snapped, which is not unusual (she has bitten him twice in the 14 months I've been with him, not acceptable as far as I am concerned)
I've tried to talk to him about it, but he says dogs who've had training are boring or have no personalities and that the old dog is only agressive because of her age.
I don't know a huge amount about dogs but my feeling is neither dog has it's own space to retreat to as & when and as there are no boundaries they are being boss. And being allowed to get away with it!
It really concerns me that as and when the time comes that we do look for a dog issues will arise & the poor dog will be left confused as I know me & OH will both have different expectations on it's behaviour.
Am I just over-reacting or being unreasonable in my expectations of having a dog? My parents dog is a family pet as ours would be if/when we get one, so I'm not expecting high level obedience, just basic manners.

Any ideas on how I can approach this subject? When I've bought it up in the past it has caused a rift between us & we've only got around it by agreeing to disagree :s
 
ooh i sympathise with you! my OH doesn't believe one of our rescues is fearful agressive (more like terrified) when he spots another dog - he is adamant that it is excitment and i should walk him up to say hello. And I've tried explaining BAT training but he wont listen!

I'd recommend weekly 121 dog training classes for you, your OH and the pup. It will help you bond with the dog, be of so much benefit to him, and it'll be easier for your OH to hear advice from the trainer rather than you. Also I'm sure your OH wants a happy dog and it wont take long to see improvements! It will also answer some of your OH's questions like 'why does my dog do that?'.
And the training will all be experience for when you move out and get another dog.

Good luck!
 
I think you're dead right to be concerned. If you ever have kids, will he be happy for them to be free range with no manners either?!

I would take him along to some training classes without the dog - if even to see how well behaved dogs can still have personalities!!

I know dogs competing in tracking, obedience and protection at world level - they certainly have personalities - and some police dogs, they have BIG personalities but they are trained not to put a foot out of line. It's a lazy excuse. My dog is trained every day but he is still a cheeky little so and so :p

You're dead right about trying to avoid conflict for the dogs - but dogs without boundaries and guidelines can feel very unstable and pushed into a leadership role that they cannot cope with - I am not surprised if the young dog is suffering from stress - dogs do not like ambiguity and chaos, they like routine.
 
Moppett - training with the puppy would be a great idea but puppy is very much OH's mums 'baby' (think replacement for grandchildren that are not forthcoming as quickly as she'd like!)
However maybe sitting in on some training classes before we start looking for a dog ourselves might be an idea so OH can see the theory.

CC- thankyou, glad to know I'm not a million miles out!!! Funnily enough, he has the complete opposite approach around children & I'm sure wouldn't accept the kind of behaviour he accepts from the dogs (if that makes sense!)
Think going to training classes to watch is sensible. OH works for the Met police tho doesn't have anything to do with the dog division which I think is a shame as I'm sure outside of 'work' they are probably a good example of trained dogs who also know how to have fun.
Suspect you're probably spot on in saying the dogs feel pushed into taking top dog role and it stresses them, they don't have a routine (sadly everyone living in the house works shifts so although there is always some-one in & feed happens at regular times everything else is different daily)
Unfortunately there is nothing I can do with these dogs as it is not my place to say and I've put my foot in it by saying something before so I now keep my mouth shut! Fortunately the pup is quite bright (at times, daft as a brush at others) and has learnt I will ignore him & not say hello unless he sits as I won't tolerate him jumping up at me, but OH & his mum find it most strange as he doesn't do it for anyone else but does go to show how quickly he learns!

Glad to know I'm on the right track with what I think- I think the best plan of action will be when the time comes where we're looking at a dog, to try and find both some pro training to go and watch if this is possible/if joe bloggs from the public is allowed to go to spectate? And also to find a reputable trainer nearby and go to watch some of the classes together that are at the level we would be.
 
Tell him to volunteer to be a 'decoy' for the day with his colleagues - might open his eyes a bit as regards obedience, control and personality :p

All joking apart, best of luck :)
 
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