Tricky situation with other livery.....

[Doormouse]

This is a bit of a tricky one and wondered if anyone had any clever ideas?

Our hacking is not good and we only have 2 fields to hack in without going on the roads. Our only access to decent hacking is to go straight out on to a major A road for a short distance. Once you are over that bit the hacking is ok but limited. Me and another livery ride out together most mornings but being limited by daylight and time we either canter in the fields or take the road way and use the hill you can get to quickly to trot up a couple of times. We both hunt and just want to keep them ticking over so this is fine.

A new livery arrived on Saturday with a young horse who has not been hacked out at all and she can't hack on her own. She asked to go out with the other livery on Sunday and had only just got across the road when her horse dumped her. It was ok after that but walked very slowly the whole way. She came out with both of us this morning and this time the horse walked a bit better but she had to be in front or it started bucking and creating. Trouble is, when in front in either walk or trot she goes much slower than either of us and our horses got really narky about being pulled up all the time. Also as we are trying to get them fit we don't want to wander along all the time. BTW I don't trot fast on the roads but do like an active trot not a bimble!

I don't want to be mean and say we won't go out with her because she obviously can't go out on her own with the road and everything but I also don't want to mess my horse and his work regime about.

Sorry, very long - maltesers and coffee for all those who have lasted!

 

[cobgirlie]

Explain to her you need to get and keep your horses fit so you and your friend go out for a fast hack before her, then when you come back go out again with her, will be a good cooling down session for your horse and help her gain confidence to hack. That way you don't upset her which I'm sure you don't want to do, but you still keep your horses fit. Time consuming I know but I don't know what to suggest otherwise.

 

[dianeholmes]

Can you have a chat and offer to go out a limited number of times a week, say twice? keep the other times to work your horses a bit harder?

We have a similar situation on our yard - one livery with a fractious horse wants to hack a lot with company but the two riders she hacks with are not so keen on all the cantering (not much of it controlled). It gets difficult at times and one rider is particularly caught in the middle.

Hope you can sort it out amicably - it is tricky sometimes with yard politics.

 

[OWLIE185]

We used to arrange for a group of about 8 of us to take two weeks off twice in the hunting season to go hunting on the Quantocks and Exmoor.
We kept our horses in London and got them hunting fit by walking and trotting them on the roads with the very occasional canter on grass verges and in the odd park.
All the horses and riders where of different abilities but it used to work well and by the time we got to hunting they would happily hunt all day. In fact the locals used to be impressed by how fit we got them on the roads of London.
Horses that are not used to going out and about need to go out daily to get them used to the sights and sounds and although it can be quite frustrating for the people accompanying them to just ride out at a slow walk you are helping the other horse and rider. We all eventually end up changing our horses and need soemone to go out with us to get our new horses used to their new surrounds. p.s. don't forget to get your horses and yourselves kitted out with Hi-Viz.

 

[SVMel]

It is difficult, I know what you mean about not wanting to upset anyone. However, I am someone that has spent the last few years trying to help everyone else which cost me my happiness and health, and the horses never got to the stage I was aiming for.

Now I have to say I am going to please myself and do what I have to, to get the horses where I want them to be. Don't mind putting myself out for others but not at my expense. I'm afraid in your situation I would make myself limit the amount of time I hack with her to once or twice a week and spend the rest of my time doing what I needed to keep the horses up together

 

[Honey08]

Explain to her you need to get and keep your horses fit so you and your friend go out for a fast hack before her, then when you come back go out again with her, will be a good cooling down session for your horse and help her gain confidence to hack. That way you don't upset her which I'm sure you don't want to do, but you still keep your horses fit. Time consuming I know but I don't know what to suggest otherwise.

Agree with this. Hope she accepts that.

We used to have a livery that was like this, who insisted on coming out with us, and going first, with her horse napping and shying in front of my younster or driving my fit eventer crazy! She had no idea what she was like!

 

[AmyMay]

Having been on a big livery yard, with people wanting different types of riding 'experienes' I've often found that honesty is the best policy.

So tell her straight. Your horses are being kept fit for hunting, so she may want to ride with someone who's horse at this time will be a better babysitter.

And if there is no one else - that's not your problem.

 

[Kenzo]

Agree with Amymay, best of just telling her, otherwise it will may cause further problems should there be if's and but's at a later date which you'll then need to scramble out of.

You could out of kindness offer to go with her a couple of times a month and arrange a set date in advance, it must be hard to come onto a new livery yard with a horse that only hacks out with others and not have anyone to go with, so personally I would feel for her if she had nobody to go with.

 

[Doormouse]

Sadly we are the only liveries who hack out at all and I do feel that it would be mean to just leave her to struggle completely on her own.

I think as you have all suggested, best to be honest and then limit the number of days we ride with her. From a fitness point of view it isn't that serious really as mine is hunting pretty regularly he stays quite fit and could probably walk everyday with just a small canter once a week but it drove him mad crawling along in walk this morning and he will spook if others do and then he gets all tense and pulls muscles which is not great.

We are planning to canter tomorrow and she is determined to come which I don't think will be a good idea at all as both our horses are very strong and just about put up with being upsides each other but no way are they going to let her go in front!

 

[Bethie]

Could you (or someone who's opinion she will accept) put the suggestion to her that her horse is far less likely to mess about if she gets after it and makes it keep up to your speed instead of letting it dawdle along looking for something to be silly about? Would she be interested in going hunting too, or something else you need fitness for, if she could get hers fit enough? (ie looking for a motivator to get her moving and keep up with you, rather than have her slow you down?).

 

[Flummoxed]

We are planning to canter tomorrow and she is determined to come which I don't think will be a good idea at all as both our horses are very strong and just about put up with being upsides each other but no way are they going to let her go in front!

I can't wait to hear how that goes!!

No seriously, it is generous of you to want to help her and I hope that it all settles down well.


But part of me still feels that she could have done better research of the yard before she brought her horse there???????????????

 

[Doormouse]

Could you (or someone who's opinion she will accept) put the suggestion to her that her horse is far less likely to mess about if she gets after it and makes it keep up to your speed instead of letting it dawdle along looking for something to be silly about? Would she be interested in going hunting too, or something else you need fitness for, if she could get hers fit enough? (ie looking for a motivator to get her moving and keep up with you, rather than have her slow you down?).

She does want to get it fit but because it won't walk behind another horse or beside another horse as it shies and veers all over the road she has to be in front alone and therefore sets the pace! Every time her horse spooked this morning we nearly ran into the back of it. It was bit like being behind a learner driver!!!

 

[pip6]

Go for a slow one once a week, then on other days explain very clearly what you are going to do. Tell her honestly that you can't stay behind her horse as it is not forward going enough for your two when they are working (emphasise that you are working these days, not hacking), so she will need to either have them alongside her or she goes behind. If she still chooses to come, I'd have a strong walk down to the main road, get besides/infront of her. If she has issues (as you expect), offer to escort her back to the stables before she is in danger on the road. Just trying to make a point in a gentle but firm way. Much better than when you are having a strong canter, can't pull up & she has to come back along a main road on a hyper horse.

Hack with her once a week to help her out, dawdling isn't working & wont keep your horses fit, which they need to be or it isn't fair to ask them to hunt. the rest of the time it may not be a bad idea if she spent it schooling, then at least she can get her horse moving forward in a safer environment so it will hack better with yours.

 

[AmyMay]

She does want to get it fit but because it won't walk behind another horse or beside another horse as it shies and veers all over the road she has to be in front alone and therefore sets the pace!

Actually it doesn't - if she wants company, then it must start to work sensibly alongside other horses. So she needs to start getting it sorted. She is accompanying you, not the other way around. And the horse will never get educated if she doesn't start to ride it and assert herself.

 

[Doormouse]

Actually it doesn't - if she wants company, then it must start to work sensibly alongside other horses. So she needs to start getting it sorted. She is accompanying you, not the other way around. And the horse will never get educated if she doesn't start to ride it and assert herself.

That I agree with completely and if it were my horse that is what I would be doing. I was a bit in the same situation when I got my 4 year old in the summer and had to be accompanied but I made her walk upside with others even though she wanted to dawdle along behind and if I felt the ride they were doing was too much I went in the school instead. Sadly I don't think this girl has any idea that allowing her horse to behave like this is bad for it and that it inconveniences others, she seem totally oblivious to having ridden all over us whenever we did get upsides and all she was concerned about when we got back to the yard was that she hadn't fallen off!

Oh and she let her horse bite mine on his bum when we were waiting to cross the road! The only time we were in front!!!

 

[Maesfen]

Agree with Amy. Her horse needs to learn to be besides and behind anyway, the sooner she gets down to it the better.

I'd be oh so tempted to give it a whack if it baulked in front of me.............................

 

[Hippona]

Actually it doesn't - if she wants company, then it must start to work sensibly alongside other horses. So she needs to start getting it sorted. She is accompanying you, not the other way around. And the horse will never get educated if she doesn't start to ride it and assert herself.

This.....she's not actually sorting any issues out doing this is she?

 

[AmyMay]

Sadly I don't think this girl has any idea that allowing her horse to behave like this is bad for it and that it inconveniences others, she seem totally oblivious to having ridden all over us whenever we did get upsides and all she was concerned about when we got back to the yard was that she hadn't fallen off!

In which case you won't be riding out with her for very long, I suspect.

However, it may be that no one has spoken to her in plain English and told her straight that the horse needs educating - and that so does she.

She may actually really thank you for it - and what ever words of wisdom you can pass on........

 

[Doormouse]

I'd be oh so tempted to give it a whack if it baulked in front of me.............................

Don't tempt me!

Btw how do I do the smiley faces?

 

[Maesfen]

Don't tempt me!

Btw how do I do the smiley faces?

Lol, if she wasn't such a novice it could be the shock up the bum (literally) the horse needs, always used to work a treat if a few of you were riding and leading and one dragged behind because they thought they could get away with it.

Get your smileys by either using the post reply button or quote button, they should be on the side of the page then; if they're not you need to go into your options > edit options> editor and change that option, save your changes and should be bingo. Otherwise, if using Firefox download smiley extra which you can use on any site

 

[Doormouse]

That's fab, thank you!

You'll know in a minute if it worked!

 

[Maesfen]

Clever hound!

 

[CBFan]

I'd say to her that she's more than welcome to accompany you on YOUR ride but she must make an effort to get the horse to stride out a bit more. Whilst it is good education for your horses to have to go slow sometimes it will be equally beneficial for hers to walk out so as not to hold up your ride.

At the end of the day you sound like a VERY nice person. I'd NEVER assume that because two people on my yard are the only ones to hack out that they would be happy for me to join them EVERY time. Especially with a badly behaved youngster.

You could also sugest to her that it would be good for her horse's education to do some work in the fields on his own a few days a week too - so he doesn't become dependant on company.

Good luck with the canter hack!

 

[Natch]

You seem to have it pretty sussed.

 

[jhoward]

Don't tempt me!

Btw how do I do the smiley faces?

A SLY boot up the jacksie normally will get them moving

 

[hannahmurphy]

As you say there is two fields to ride in, I suggest she hack by herself (yes, she can do it!) around these fields until she & horse are a bit more up to speed. Sounds like she needs to build her own confidence up, which this would do, rather than lean on others. Once the horse is more settle and used to this they could re-join you to go out on the roads and would probably be more apt at keeping the pace.

 

[Ranyhyn]

Oh I'd offer to go out with her maybe twice a week. She sounds like she needs some guidance.
As the owner of a previous quirky mare on the roads I wish I had someone to take me under their wing at the time. I ended up giving her away and having a 4 years break from horses - terrified. Totally my own fault, but still, be kind and give her a little of your time.

You never know when you may need the favour returned

 

[pinktiger]

Oh I'd offer to go out with her maybe twice a week. She sounds like she needs some guidance.
As the owner of a previous quirky mare on the roads I wish I had someone to take me under their wing at the time. I ended up giving her away and having a 4 years break from horses - terrified. Totally my own fault, but still, be kind and give her a little of your time.

You never know when you may need the favour returned

DITTO!!!^^^^^^^^
I Dont have a problem with hacking myself, but as an act of kindness that may or may not one day be returned is a good thing and will fill you with a warm glow!!!!

bless i feel a bit sorry for her tbh and although its not your problem, if it was me i would want to try and help but also be honest with her ect!!!

 

[Clueless]

At the end of the day you sound like a VERY nice person. I'd NEVER assume that because two people on my yard are the only ones to hack out that they would be happy for me to join them EVERY time. Especially with a badly behaved youngster.

I 100% agree. Im at the 'being escorted' stage with my newish to me horse on a new yard, we have fun, and are being made very welcome, but the agreement is that if they are working on something - ie getting fit for hunting, fine, its not for me. And when the weather has meant plans change, I am told, and invited along or uninvited... I know im not inconveniencing them, which makes me delighted to join in. No issues/discomfort - its all made easier by being honest.

 

[Whoopit]

Having been on a big livery yard, with people wanting different types of riding 'experienes' I've often found that honesty is the best policy.

So tell her straight. Your horses are being kept fit for hunting, so she may want to ride with someone who's horse at this time will be a better babysitter.

And if there is no one else - that's not your problem.

I absolutely agree with this. Don't beat around the bush, just say.

I once took someone to Escrick Park as she was keen to come for the hacking and she turned out to be a fluffing liability (she's afraid of jumping but kept cantering off in front of myself and fellow jumper to find small fences to try to jump and we could never find her) and I told her I'd never take her anywhere again and told her the reasons.

There's nothing wrong with saying that when you hack out you need to keep up the pace as you need your horses to be fit and just say she's still welcome to come along so long as she can keep up. Don't forget, she's joined your bandwagon, not the other way round