Trust/confidence?

TarrSteps

TarrSteps

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Getting it, keeping it, getting it back.

What made you trust the horse you have now? (If you do!) Experience? Just a feeling? Seeing the horse with another rider? Adversity?

If you have lost confidence in a horse in the past, why? How did you regain it? DID you regain it? Have you regained it situationally, as in avoiding certain situations?

Has the horse's health/soundness/training/management played a role?

Did you just grit your teeth and make yourself ride the horse or did you seek help, either training or something like hypnosis?

If you didn't regain your trust in the horse, what did you do then?

I have variations of this conversation often in my work but I'm just interested in the wider experience.
 
My 13.2's advert had a photo of the owner sat bare back and bridle less, standing leaning on her backside and lying on the ground beside her. So I took that as a fairly good sign she was a good tempered animal. She has demonstrated that every day since she got here.
 
My old horse used to fly buck down the road, so after this I developed a fear of hacking, on everything not just her, however he also liked a good rodeo in the school too which led to me having 4 broken ribs, didn't stop me from riding in the school though, maybe it was a more controlled environment that helped? She did put me off jumping though as she regularly stopped and spun which led to some hairy moment, I haven't quite got that bit of nerve back yet.

My new horse has always been an angel in all areas, however he for some reason had a bad day last Sunday and was spooking at EVERYTHING and started stopping and running backwards, this has slightly made me a little nervy of hacking him next time. My way of coping seems to be making excuses for him, so when he stopped there was a puddle, when he shot out sideways there were pink flowers all of which he has passed before?!

I would be interested to hear how others cope with nerves and regaining confidence as I would love to jump again and I am soon to be moving to a new yard so I won't have my friends around to go out with all the time so would like to be brave enough to go out alone and not worry, it's not good for my nerves or his!!
 
My current horse has broken 3 of my ribs and cracked the bone in my arm. So I majorly lost trust in him after this.

I'm not actually sure how I got it back. I think knowing that it wasn't his fault went a long way (he was tied up, spooked, I got in his way!). Also repetition, I actually don't tie him much now simply because I usually don't have to and he doesn't like it. However, there are obviously times I have to and doing it without there being an incident when I did also helped.
 
What made you trust the horse you have now? (If you do!) Experience? Just a feeling? Seeing the horse with another rider? Adversity?
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When I tried her as 3 year old she cantered without fussing in a group and stood quietly on a very cold windy day. She'd only been on the yard 2 weeks, had come over from ireland. She's now coming up for 12 and has never given me cause to doubt her. I trust her as much as is possible to trust in a horse.

you have lost confidence in a horse in the past, why? How did you regain it? DID you regain it? Have you regained it situationally, as in avoiding certain situations?
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Yes. Two major incidents with a bolter. One time he bolted in school and I fell through a fence, and 6 months later he bolted out on a hack, and went home without me. Never quite got trust back with him. I carried on with lessons, moved yards so he had more turnout, but was always aware of his bolting potential. Ended up seeing a wanted ad for a gentleman's hunter, and sold him. One of the reasons I didn't sell after first issue was that I had a bombproof horse to accompany him (and ride to keep my confidence higher than it might have been). I definitely limited where I rode, what i did, and who with to avoid placing him in trigger situations.

First time I galloped, in company, down an open field on horse I've now got I was :D. Still get that feeling with her, which is what horses are all about for me.
 
TarrSteps said:
Getting it, keeping it, getting it back.

What made you trust the horse you have now? (If you do!) Experience? Just a feeling? Seeing the horse with another rider? Adversity?

If you have lost confidence in a horse in the past, why? How did you regain it? DID you regain it? Have you regained it situationally, as in avoiding certain situations?

Has the horse's health/soundness/training/management played a role?

Did you just grit your teeth and make yourself ride the horse or did you seek help, either training or something like hypnosis?

If you didn't regain your trust in the horse, what did you do then?

I have variations of this conversation often in my work but I'm just interested in the wider experience.
Click to expand...

What makes me trust my boy? The relationship we've built up, and I think you tend to get a feeling aswell. I've smashed my confidence to bits on two separate occasions. First time was off an ex-eventer I shared years ago. I was told he was a novice ride, turned out that he bolted, bucked, and when I attempted to jump him he did an awesome kinda bolt-buck-overjump-midairtwist-buck-dropshoulder-buggaroff type trick. Turns out that was how he managed to fracture his owner's back, and I gave him up there and then. Second time was with my current youngster, who decked me from a canter on a main road while out hacking alone. Seeing as I was wearing a hoody with my sleeves rolled up and rather thin cargoes, I left an awful lot of skin on the tarmac.

Did I regain it? Yes. On both occasions. How? First time, by taking a 17yr old happy-hacking Welsh D on full loan. He was safe as houses, and he really built me back up. Second time, by stopping riding for a while, doing a lot of groundwork (mainly long reining), then taking a 16yr old mare on share alongside my boy. Riding the mare made me realise that riding COULD be fun again, and that began building my confidence. I then moved the lad to a new yard with better facilities and quieter hacking. We started off with short sessions in an enclosed school, just at walk. When that went well, we introduced a bit of trot. We then moved up to very short hacks with an older schoolmaster, then up to canter work in the school. We're now doing longer hacks, regular schooling walk to canter, introduced jumping on the lunge and we're both a lot happier and more confident in each other. I think the key to regaining confidence is by taking things slowly and not pushing either of you too far or too fast. The more "mini victories" you can have, and the more rides you can have where nothing goes wrong, the faster confidence grows. I also think relationship on the ground plays a big part in it, particularly with young horses.
 
I find the older I get the more things stay with me.

I dislike flat out canters because my old cob Daisy used to bronk from excitement and had a few rather spectacular falls as well as an awful lot of rides where I had to cling on like a limpet for a few strides while she settled in.

My last horse I took on knowing he was a spooky bolter but I fell in love and wanted to see what I could make of him. One too many falls later I admitted that I had to stop riding him. Too many nice horses out there to end up with a broken neck which was the way I was going. Confidence is still in bits. Have had new horse nearly two months and still not ridden him although I am looking forward to it.
 
I completely agree about it getting worse with age. My nerves are definitely getting worse. I'm currently trying to get to the end of the drive and back on my own without being bothered its about half a mile. Done it a few times without incident so going well. I'm determined not to let my nerves beat me and my horse is so lovely I owe it to him to get out and about. I have all these great ideas of what to do until I get within 10m of the yard then I come up with reasons not to do it.
 
The first time I rode Idiotpony, he got about five steps through the gate and then proceeded to try and buck me off, I didn't feel however that I'd fall off but it did damage my already frail confidence.
I rode him in the field for ages and only went out hacking if there was someone with me, he used to nap to the gate terribly and I didn't have the confidence to take him out onto the roads incase he napped and we had an accident.
However we have plucked up the confidence to go out alone lately.
The first three or four times I jumped off whenever I felt a bit nervous, but the last two rides I've stayed on.
I think it is right that confidence and trust builds everytime you have a good incident free experience and today we battled deep pony drowning puddles and I made him walk through them, rather than catleap over or tiptoe around the edge banging me into trees or fenceposts.
Incidents like that where I've taken positive action fills me with confidence that I can handle issues without fuss and helps my trust in him as I know that he did what I wanted in the end without fuss and his trust in me to go through a rather deep puddle for a 13.3, without question (even if I slid him a polo when he did walk through the puddle sensibly) also fills me with confidence in him and hopefully him in me.
 
Watching this thread with interest...my confidence is hanging by a thread! Two years ago I trusted my pony, had a couple of horrible falls that stayed with me and lots of bad advice and I am now struggling. I keep using his arthritis as an excuse for just 'going round the block'. I live in the New Forest, we have miles and miles of glorious hacking and I am too scared to go out into it because of what 'might happen'. I love him dearly but just don't trust him to come home with me!
 
What made you trust the horse you have now? (If you do!) Experience? Just a feeling? Seeing the horse with another rider? Adversity?

I have had him two years, and backed him myself. This might sound silly, but I know when he's in a cheeky mood, and will try and play up, and equally I know when he just wants to hack.

If you have lost confidence in a horse in the past, why?

He spooked and I ended up in A+E, made me realise how quickly things could go wrong.

How did you regain it? DID you regain it? Have you regained it situationally, as in avoiding certain situations?

By just taking it slowly, at the moment we are on a 6 week walk programme to fitten him up, this is also meaning we're both getting more and more confident getting out and about seeing things.

Has the horse's health/soundness/training/management played a role?

Yes, when I backed him we were at a livery yard where he was only out for 2 hours a day. I moved him there specifically for the backing process, as I thought it would be great to have a professional to hand to help. After he could walk, turn and stop safely I brought him home, where he lives outs 24/7 with access to stable.

Did you just grit your teeth and make yourself ride the horse or did you seek help, either training or something like hypnosis?

At first, grit my teeth and got on with it. I had no other choice, my parents wanted to sell him and I had to show them I wouldn't let that happen.

:)
 
I got mine when I was 10, 21yrs ago. I was a typical over confident kid, who thought getting chucked off was a laugh. So it never occurred to me not to trust her. She was mine, I loved her, end of. Although my experience is a lot difference now, I've never grown out of my child like confidence. Had lots of falls, from lots of horses & situations, but never thought too deeply into them. Although I do think being a mum has changed my visible confidence, if not how I think. Pre child I'd ride anything, anywhere. I regularly hopped on good quality horses in low end sale car parks to find out why they were going cheap. If a horse was known as a nutter, I'd want to ride it. A horse that bucked/bronced people off, I'd give the reins to so it could let rip. Rearers were my idea of good fun. I didn't have a death wish, far from it, but I did get a huge adrenaline rush from precarious situations. So the fun, & challenge outweighed the risk of a few broken bones or worse. As a mum, I have too much to lose, so I stay within the realms of safe. My idea of a 'nutter' is different to average, so its not like I only ride plods, I just won't risk riding real headcases anymore, or at least unknown headcases, I do a risk assessment these days.
 
When I was looking to buy there were quite a few horses that I went to view and just didn't get on - because I didn't trust them. Think their owners thought I was mental / completely unable to ride.
I trusted Deano as soon as I saw him and have felt safe with him ever since. When I get nervous he seems to get braver :)
 
I'm not that confident, I had it shattered when I was 13 (22 now) when I fell off a horse that bolted and did some impressive bucks on the way. I badly hurt my ankle and now my back is in almost constant pain. My hips and knees are bad too.

I think I trust Ned so much because we're rather alike. I see so much of me in him.
I've got to know him over the past 5 years. I can usually tell how he'll react to certain situations, so that doesn't make me as scared as I am of horses I don't know. For instance, he doesn't mind lorries going past so close, they brush his whiskers, but I know to watch out for baby rabbits!

We've both got a loooong way to go, but I'm sure we'll get there :) We've worked through our latest setback quite well!
 
I'm not really sure why I lost my confidence. I think it was a few things.
My old horse never scared me, despite his behaviour sometimes, but my tb is very sweet, but I was always more nervie of him. I think because I didn't really know what he might do... I couldn't believe that a horse could just be well behaved and not buck or rear or do something. I was always waiting for something to go wrong.
When I first got him he had a lot of time off for lameness issues, then I have suffered increasing back and hip pain, so I didn't ride very much, and when I did ride I kept thinking how much it would hurt if I fell off.
When I lost my old boy I think it affected my tb as well as me, maybe he was feeling my upset, but he got really unsettled and really scared me a couple of times,
I'd got to the point where I was crying at the thought of riding.
I don't have my confidence back fully, its a work in progress.
I had a fantastic instructor who knew when to push a bit, and when to let me have a moment.
I'm having treatments on my back, so I'm not in as much pain as I was, so I feel more capable of coping if jazz did buck/ spook.
I worked my way through Kelly Marks perfect confidence.
I take rescue remedy, its almost like "ok, I've had my tipple, nothing bad will happen"
I force myself to get on everytime I see him, but I dont' put any more pressure on myself than that. Then anything else is a bonus. I get on, and that feels ok, so I think, alright, lets do a lap of the school in walk. If thats all I feel ok with, then thats fine. If I want to do more, great.
In an odd way as well, I went for a hack around the farm the other week ( thats how good I'm getting now :D ) and jazz started to have a melt down as several things were spooking him at once. He spun, took a few strides of canter in the other direction, i pulled him up and despite thinking " Oh god, I really want to get off, " I stayed on, dealt with him, and carryed on the hack.
Him showing me what he does at his worse showed me that its not that bad afterall.
Kx
 
I lost confidence on my horse for a couple of months. He ran off with me for a few mins on a hack after spooking and did so in the school a few times. I didn't ride him for a few weeks and rode another horse, then when I did I only stayed in a walk with him for a little bit and my instructor rode him instead of me having a lesson. I'm confident again on him again now, just was a blip I think! :)
 
Interesting responses, thank-you. And thanks to the people who pm'ed.

A side bar to my main area of interest - young and "problem" horses - is I meet a fair number of people who have lost confidence in their own riding or their current horse. I have had a number of conversations with people who genuinely feel they are the only person to have had this experience! I have also been involved in various disciplines at quite a high level and know that even some "household names" have struggled with their confidence and/or a particular horse. It really does often go with the territory!

I'm also interested with regard to purchasing horses - are there ways to lower the chance of purchasing a horse someone is likely to lose confidence in etc.
 
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Hmm, interesting questions, and ones a lot of riders shy away from, I think.

What made you trust the horse you have now? (If you do!) Experience? Just a feeling? Seeing the horse with another rider? Adversity?
Just the feel they give me at the time. If I don't trust the horse (getting on again after a break, say) I have specific things I do first to try to avoid the chance of a major broncing session... which is the only thing I'm really afraid of tbh. I think/hope that I can cope with just about anything else. If they feel really explosive I will give them a pat, get off, check everything, lunge... I won't carry on riding if they feel REALLY dangerous. Maybe in the past I would...

If you have lost confidence in a horse in the past, why? How did you regain it? DID you regain it? Have you regained it situationally, as in avoiding certain situations?
Lost confidence... hmm. Only when I've been coming back after an injury (to my knee, both times). Both times had to have an op and quite a while off.
I regained it by avoiding certain situations (not riding on v windy days, for e.g., to begin with) and by having a fail-safe in place - e.g. a 'walker' to go with us with a handful of treats to distract horse from naughtiness if necessary.
The only thing I have a long-term confidence crisis about is coming to a big square SJ parallel, I have a few ways of building up to it until I cope better and relax about it!
There was a horse I totally gave up on, she felt lethally dangerous and I'd tried everything. The last time I rode her I realised it just wasn't worth it - for both our sakes. That might sound defeatist but I hope it was smart.

Has the horse's health/soundness/training/management played a role?
Yes, definitely. Set things I try, to improve things. Ticking those boxes gives confidence.

Did you just grit your teeth and make yourself ride the horse or did you seek help, either training or something like hypnosis?
I just gritted my teeth and made myself get on with it, with helpers around in case... tried to be smart about it. The alternative (not getting on with it) was far worse to me!

If you didn't regain your trust in the horse, what did you do then?
One I gave up with, she just felt too dangerous and I'd tried everything (incl a year off). Sold her as a broodmare with strict instructions that she was not to be ridden (she was physically fine and not nasty, but someone had done a right number on her just before I bought her unseen).
It didn't jolt my confidence, I thought success in that case was both of us emerging unscathed. Rode others immediately without a problem. She was a v extreme ruined case.

As for buying a horse which is more likely to keep the confidence... of course, well-schooled is a huge deal, polite to handle in all ways, a 'nice person' who will be generous. a horse that is comfortable in its body is more likely to be tolerant etc. I'm really not sure about this whole "bond" malarkey but a lot of people talk about it. Hmm.
 
God I could write pages on this. Probably 16 months ago I was stood in the school crying unable to walk on a lunge line. This week I rode the same horse in a windy outdoor in vile rain doing some Elementary movements

I lost confidence when I lost my horse and gave up riding, it got worse when I started again and realised not all horses were like him
Seeing her owner on her helped, now I just get angry with myself when I get nervous. Someone said to me "you deserve to be in that saddle, you earned it" and I bloody well have! I'm a stubborn old boot though and if someone tells me I can't do something.. ;)
So I just kept getting on, and off and on.. And now I've realised I get the horse. I know what to do, I can ride her and she goes like a dream for me, she's not nasty. But she isn't easy to ride and a lot of confidence came from realising I am good enough to ride her
 
I know with my current horse I'm not likely to get hurt. He can be spooky but he's not violent, strong, dramatic or insane. He's the sort of horse I think a space ship could land next to him, he'd be bricking himself but nothing would happen, no one would die. I went on one of those awful hacks a couple of weeks ago where you meet absolutely everything you could do without - he got scared, he got upset, he had a few moments but we made it home in one piece... Again. If I'd been on either of my last two horses, I could have been killed about twenty times over. :D That's why I feel confident with him.
 
I lost my confidence on a big 15.2 chunky monkey (i say bug cuz i was a little 15yr old!) he threw me off 5 times in 20 mins the last fall he reared vertical- he knew what he was doing! We owned him for another yr after that episode and i never ever got back on him he scared me big time! I just about managed to walk him to and from the field but never rode him again. Finding another horse after him was interesting it took a qhile to feel safe on anything, in the end we brought a tbx 15.2 who rode more like a pony, i use to fall off her religiously at every sj lesson but for some reason she never scared me just made me really annoyed that i had fallen off again!! I dont know how i got my confidence back at all, even now i have a 16.2 tb who just loves to spin and canter sideways down the rd and perform mini rears and u just sit there laughing, i dont know why but he has never bothered me, i think if ur confidence has been knocked it sometimes takes a special sane but not sane horse to help bring it back, i think with me the second 15.2 i brought was more pony like so i immediately felt safer even thou she still dropped me alot!! But i know how it feels to one day have confidence jumping 3ft pluss and then the next struggling to even lead a horse to a field. Getting ur confidence back takes time dont ever rush it
 
Interesting that a number of people have said their confidence was restored by a very forward, even buzzy sort of horse, which is not necessarily what you would think.

Also, not too many people saying they have regained their trust in a single horse, more saying they had to move on to feel wholly confident again. Is this the difference between having confidence in your horse and confidence in your skills, or more about matching a horse to your skills?

What about horses with medical issues? Has anyone lost confidence in a horse only to find out it had a problem, then been able to carry on subsequently?
 
TarrSteps said:
Interesting that a number of people have said their confidence was restored by a very forward, even buzzy sort of horse, which is not necessarily what you would think.

Also, not too many people saying they have regained their trust in a single horse, more saying they had to move on to feel wholly confident again. Is this the difference between having confidence in your horse and confidence in your skills, or more about matching a horse to your skills?

What about horses with medical issues? Has anyone lost confidence in a horse only to find out it had a problem, then been able to carry on subsequently?
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Interesting point you made there regarding the buzzy horse building confidence in the rider.

I should not be confident as I'm a fifty plus return rider and yes I have a buzzy and big mare who had lots of issues once and who no one else wants to ride! For me though she's fab, she is trustworthy and a lot of fun. I enjoy riding her.

I think with a hotter horse, you have to ride it, you need to think about what's going on and go forward or you'll get left behind. On a quiet horse, you've lots of time to worry and think up all sorts of negatives which happen in your head and is just as frightening.

Building a good relationship on the ground is majorly important and becoming a team where you have a feel for each other, mutual respect and understanding.

It's an interesting and thought provoking post.
 
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For me it's about a sort of bond, or sussing the horse out first; I don't like to get on strange horses but when a friend offered me a ride on her hot eventer, we had a course of fences up and I wanted to have a go, because I had handled the horse and got to know her a little, I felt I knew which 'catagory' she slotted in to and having ridden many different types of horses in the past I was able to think " she's going to be like so-and-so to ride"

Maybe the very good riders who can get on any horse and get round Badminton, are able to do that very quickly? But for me it takes a few meetings, not ridden but on the ground! :D
 
agree, some very good posts, very thought provoking!

I lost my nerve last year with a huge monster of a youngster. He was a nightmare to handle and tuned himself inside out once you asked for anything more than walk. It materalised that he had a bad back and his pelvis was out. I sorted that out and returned him to his owner (he was on LWVTB) he frightened the absolute life out of me, and there was absolutely no way I was ever getting back on. I will never forget the relief I felt when I knew I would never have to see him again!

During the time I had him though, I read every Kelly Marks book and read everything I could lay my hands on about alternative training methods and what the whole experience did was made me open my eyes to different ways of doing things and to be a lot more honest with myself and what I wanted from my riding.

It took me a long time to find my new boy and his not a saint but his kind, I did a lot of ground work and spent a lot of time grooming him and just leading him around the place when I first got him, and the more we do (and I do push myself out of my comfort zone at times) and the more I come back in one piece the more my confidence grows. I don't think I've fully regained my confidence yet, and there are definitely times when he takes mattes into his own hooves.

I find leaving my brain at home helps a lot at times and not over thinking the situation. But I think the nightmare thoughts I had very much in the forefront of my mind when I first got him are definitely back in that box.
 
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I think I have some sort of confidence issues. Not being nervous but lacking confidence in my own abilities; questioning my decisions, wondering if the problems I have with my horse are all my fault, having a lesson on a schoolmaster and not allowing myself to really *ride* it (being namby-pamby and not taking control)
My instructor does keep reminding me that I CAN ride but I keep doubting myself.
 
I'll try to keep this short but I have a tendency to go on so sorry if it ends up an essay!

My old horse - I bought her knowing she was a bit spooky but I was great with spooky! All started fine she would jump sideways and spook a bit out hacking but no worries. Then she began to nap horribly on the way back from hacks and also decided a particular corner of the school had dragons hiding in it and she developed quite a knack of spinning which I could sit but it was unnerving. Then after a period of box rest she started bucking going into canter on hacks if she was behind another horse- just pure excitement but they were big bucks. We had also moved yards and she found a spot in this new school to spin at!

I eventually had a very bad accident on this horse I ended up airlifted to hospital and in a high dependency unit. I actually ended up 'only' having a ruptured spleen.

Because I couldn't remember the accident after 3 months I got back on this horse, moved to a yard with wonderful supportive people and found my brilliant instructor. I also did some NLP sessions with Jo Cooper which helped enormously. For 18 months I persevered I eventually started hacking her again after watching my YM hack her and riding sensible horses to get my confidence back. Over the summer she was fine but then the colder weather came and she started bucking in canter again to the point where I stopped hacking her (my YM did hack her). Then in the school we'd stop one thing i.e. The spinning and she'd throw something else at me.

In the end I just did not have the confidence to continue with this and was constantly in tears. I made the awful decision to sell her to a dealer. In the end my friend who'd been with me when I bought her and knew everything we'd been through bought her (for a nominal amount) in the hope of rehabilitating her. She has found a rider for her who is very brave and doesn't mind falling off (!). She is a very unpleasant pony on the ground too so I think somewhere along the line she has been very damaged and I am ashamed that rather than fix her I think I made her worse :(

The day I made the decision to move her on my YM found a horse she vaguely knew for loan on Facebook. She arranged for us to go and see him as she felt he would be ideal for me. He was 13, was a mother/ daughter share and just up the road. Well after watching the daughter ride him in the school I got on. On the flat he went better for me than I'd expected, I jumped a couple of little jumps and then suggested I take him round the parkland where he was kept. My YM couldn't believe it! Because he was close we took another horse back a few days later and took him for a hack. We had a slight blip when my YM trotted her horse off to see how he'd react but we tried again later and he was fine. Anyway I have now had Max for 10 months I bought him after 4 and he is my absolute horse of a lifetime! He can be a bit impatient at times but he keeps all 4 feet on the floor so I can cope with anything else. I wasn't overly excited about him arriving because I was worried it wouldn't work out but I think for me it was the fact my YMs knew of him and his owners and because I had him on loan I felt I could trust the owners that made me feel able to take that risk.

Sorry I did warn you it would be an essay!
 
Sorry missed the bit about management. I had everything regularly checked on my old (and new) horse and weirdly the one time there was a problem (sharp teeth) she was very genuine about it just fussy with her mouth and hollowing when jumping. I think 24/7 turnout suits her better.
 
Well you met mine and shortly afterwards I did lose my nerve on him. He was fine when in regular work but when he had to have time off as ill he was awful when we started work again. I really did persevere, I had professional help, I eded up forking out money I could ill afford to have him hunted and then eventually sold him as a mans proven hunter. I got my nerve back by a, riding my old mare who can be feisty but I trust her, looking at what I had achieved previously with horses that were not novice rides and taking my time. I specifically went looking for a an older horse so I could crack on but my budget was severely depleted having paid out a lot to make my previous horse saleable. I ended up buying another youngster who had the most lovely character on the floor and I am taking my time. He can be cheeky and sharp at times but he does remember there is a rider on board. We think he is going to be pretty good but my advice would be if you lose your confidence, ride something you trust, focus on previous achievements and don't run before you can walk. My green youngster has now done his first prelim test, will hack out safely on his own, getting over his fear of fillers and proved to be brilliant XC. He was a late starter and I have had to let him grow up this year. At one point he was doing so well he was heading for BYEH but we pulled him as felt the occasion would have been too much for him at that point.

This is a hobby and a pleasure, not a competiton and honestly? If you do not enjoy your horse and know it is not a match for you, sell on and buy something you really enjoy. Better for the horse as well.
 
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