Trust/confidence?

I've lost confidence over the years a number of times. But it was my job. I galloped out in a racing yard. I didn't have the option of not riding. I had to acknowledge how I felt and get my mind right. There were some horses I asked to be taken off of as I wasn't doing them any favors. But by the same token I got on horses others didn't like and did a good job on them. I have many stories of horses that gave me my confidence back and ones that took it away but it would take too long. The good far outweighed the bad and so I continued and loved what I did.

I own 5. One is my broodmare. 2 I bred and ride. I've never had any reason not to trust them nor them me. They are just brilliant and I feel very lucky to have them. One I bred is 2 so obviously haven't ridden her but I'm sure she'll be fine. My other one is 17. He's also a long story. I got him injured and he was never supposed to come sound. He did and he is a diamond.

I also start horses for clients. None have worried me. We get reschoolers from time to time that have had some bad experiences. If I don't feel capable of doing right by them to get them over their issues my husband is the much better rider. He has zero fear and trusts everything. He's good for horses.

The thing I will say is I think we all have confidence issues from time to time. It really is ok. I think sometimes people try and hide it and pretend it will be ok. I find once I start to acknowledge the issue, I get over it much quicker. I never have issues giving babies my trust. My biggest concern is never giving them a reason to not trust me.

Terri
 
I stopped riding about 5 yrs ago due to complete lack of confidence but kept my Arab and he became my pet! Think it all stemmed from a couple of nasty ish falls when I was little, he then got leg injury and I had him PTS.
5 years on I kept seeing people out hacking and started thinking how nice it would be to be riding again so started looking for a safe sane horse that wasn't a plod as once I got the horse it would be with me forever, and I didn't want something I would then get bored with.
After telling my mum this she found me the perfect horse, advertised very very well, he hacked out with special needs teenager over the M4 bridge- I thought wow obviously great in traffic!
Went on 8hr round trip and he was all she said he was.
I got on him after not being on board a horse for at least 5yrs and he was great, went out on a hack and I thought she was going to follow behind in her car, she then drove off and said to keep going down the roaduntil I saw her car- I was petrified!!! I could hear my heart pounding as this was a very busy road 50mph and we met every kind of vehicle and he was an absolute star, didn't even look at anything even a motorbike which whizzed past us from behind!
I was lucky he was the 1st horse I tried and 5 months on he is exactly what she said and I love him to bits!!
When he arrived I had saddle fitter out for new saddle, back lady out to check everything ok, dentist out again to check all was well as that also gave me confidence knowing that there was no issues with him befor I started riding.

But I do not have the confidence to get on any other horse, but on board Ralph I feel I can do most things, he is my horse of a lifetime :)
 
I've had my horse for 13 years and unfailingly, she is an angel 95% of the time, but that other 5%, she remembers she's half thoroughbred and she's sharp as a tack. I generally don't enjoy hot horses and would never buy one that's hot all the time, but my mare's once-in-a-blue-mood hot days remind me that I can ride that if I have to. I've been close to having my confidence shaken by her airs above the ground, but I just man up and ride through it. It's a mind game. If I let myself get completely scared and back off, I think we would have had bigger problems. Part of it is knowing the horse well; knowing exactly what she's going to do if she has a nutty day and knowing that I have a velcro bum and I'm not going to fall off. She's not going to black stallion rear, she's not going to bolt, she's not going to rodeo buck, which all of which would be properly scary. She's just going to passage, piaffe, canter in place, and hop around a bit.

Anticipating that behaviour is worse than actually riding it. I avoided going past cows for a long time because she was terrified of them and she would do her hoppy sideways piaffe thing. Dealing with it is, as I said, mind over matter and saying, Well, she's going to do that, but I can ride that, and if she hasn't done anything worse in 13 years, she's not going to do anything worse. She did get over cows.
 
Not me but I can tell you about a child who regained her confidence on a weird choice of horse.
She was about 8, & just cantering off lr on hacks with her mum on foot. A group of adults came past at full pelt, her pony tanked & she ended up coming off to cut a long story short. (The horses were also chased by dogs who the adults galloped past, & her pony was dodging various hazards, so it was a very slow process of falling, losing balance, tanking again etc). Girl was at the point she'd hack on lr at trot, but very nervous at any sign of life, & wouldn't canter. Even on lr on the aged shetland my 2yr old cantered on lr. My 14.2 is a real sweetie but forwards, & safe. The little girl always liked her on the ground too. I think it was maybe down to the fact mine always stays in a rythym, so no speeding up that got her over her mental block thinking that energy would result in tanking. And she did idolise my pony too. Started with sitting still on her & progressed slowly. Within a year she was galloping her on hacks & jumping 3'. (well, being a passenger, but main thing was she had the confidence to do it). And she then regained her confidence on others too. I've asked her since why she felt fine on a forwards 14.2, but not on a quiet pony. She said it was because mine was predictably forwards, rather than worrying about her getting suddenly excited. And that because most of the yard kids liked pony, it made her feel she must be good to be allowed to ride her. Then because mine is forwards, & big moving by comparison, a nippy 12.2 seemed slow. Interestingly she was cantering mine off lr on a hack, when she was still insistent on having someone walk next to the quiet shetland.
 
I trust my horse. Several reasons why:-

1. He gives me a nice feeling :D
2. I built up to doing things slowly. I didn't set myself up to fail by taking risks.
3. Partnership. We've been together 3 years now, I know he reacts to things and I know how to ride him.

That's it really. Iv'e never lost confidence in him. I have had to be a little brave sometimes but it's always been fine.

If I felt scared to ride a horse I wouldn't ride it.

Iv'e lost confidence jumping before on various horses due to a fall or a bad round or whatever and if that happens I just have a break and then start small and build up again.
 
Got on today and realised how much I trust my boy, horse were being turned out next to the school I was riding in, they shot off galloping and bucking and he didn't even take bat an eye lid. The more I think about it the more I realise its me I don't trust not him!
 
Got on today and realised how much I trust my boy, horse were being turned out next to the school I was riding in, they shot off galloping and bucking and he didn't even take bat an eye lid. The more I think about it the more I realise its me I don't trust not him!
 
Not going to go into my background as posted up here about losing my confidence after fracturing my neck ... got back in Saddle 8 mths ago & now have a wonderful 4 year old!!!!!! We hacked out today - on the back roads with 2 very good friends - god my confidence is really coming along.... we encountered Mopeds & Bikes & Speeding cars - mare needed a little reassurance about the bike but all ended up well... couple of pics but not that great and none from up on her appart from the fuzzy mane shot!

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& one last one of me looking like Michelin woman, 5 layers & bulky back protector ..... wouldnt guess from this one am 8 stone!

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Another one here whose confidence has waned with age. I was the one on the yard that would jump onto a horse I had never ridden before and get it over a jump that its rider wasn't happy about doing.

However, I lost it very badly about 10 years ago when I got bolted with on my gelding. He had always had a very developed flight mechanism, but one day while riding down a local bridleway on an old railway line we encountered a loose horse racing for home and that was it. We galloped for nearly two miles and I have never been quite so terrified in my life. We eventually managed to stop when the loose horse swerved off the bridleway and I was able to haul my boy in the opposite direction and into a copse where he stopped.

I never felt the same about him after that, and after one more incident at a cross country when he bombed off with me I sold him to an experienced old-fashioned horsewoman who knew what she was taking on and who gave him a brilliant home.

I bought my present girl because she gave me a good feeling when I went to try her and I knew her history. It took me about two years to build up a level of trust with her that let me canter her towards home down that bridlepath. Partly this was due to her having an injury which needed a few months off and we established a very good relationship when I couldn't ride and had to do a lot of handling on the ground. I also had an excellent instructor who took it slowly with me while we were building the relationship.
 
What made you trust the horse you have now? (If you do!) Experience? Just a feeling? Seeing the horse with another rider? Adversity?

He has never done anything to make me feel scared. He is the only horse I've had since an adult that I trust implcitly and, for me, that's a big deal. I had issues with trusting him at first but in time that went away.

If you have lost confidence in a horse in the past, why? How did you regain it? DID you regain it? Have you regained it situationally, as in avoiding certain situations?

My previous two horses had made me lose confidence, first one we had an accident and second one had some mental issues (he was stabbed in his field) and then, later on, physical issues. I regained it first time by using Jo Cooper and NLP. I knew the trigger for my fear (rearing) and it really helped. Second horse was affected by confidence blip fom previous horse but we carried on and were very happy and I was confident. After he was stabbed he was awful to handle and ride and would freak out and as I knew it would happen every time I rode my confidence ebbed away. I avoided triggers for a while and did some Ttouch with him which made him easier to manage and we moved forward. I trusted him in most situations but knew he had it in him. If I'm honest I didn't realise how much the experience affected me until I started trying new horses after he was PTS.

It has only been in the last 6 months that I feel I could do anything, and I put that down to finally trusting the horse and putting my faith in him, acknowledging that I was the only one who could sort myself out and removing all negative influences from my riding. I realised that in times of confidence highs I had people around me, training and friends, who thought I was an ok rider ;) so that kept me from crashing into bleak 'Im rubbish' moments which can spiral into confidence crisis' as mine stem from the fact I think I'm awful!

Has the horse's health/soundness/training/management played a role?

Yes, if there's a reason behind bad behaviour then I can reason with myself that it shouldn't happen again..

Did you just grit your teeth and make yourself ride the horse or did you seek help, either training or something like hypnosis?

I've done all of the above! Sometimes a kick up the bum is all you need :D
 
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