Trust exercises

[Annalee]

Hi there, can anyone recommend any trust/bonding exercises to do with my mare? Mainly groundwork but ridden too.

I have a Cob mare who I recently had a fall off, nothing major. She threw a tantrum a few unexpected bucks and I came off over her head!! (Never happened before, we’d been playing with the Pirelli ball, ball got taken away which triggered napping, it was also tea time and Storm decided she’d done enough) The fall itself didn’t scare me at all, if I could I would have got back on, however, she’d sprained my hip!! A week doped on the sofa till I could walk again and now 3 weeks since she’s been in the school. I took her in yesterday in hand and had the realisation she has 0% trust in me!!
Small things such as refusing to stop at the hedge side of the school when asked or turning her bum away, ignoring me a looking past the hedge (scary side of the school, all horses dislike it) Every time.
I understand there will be things she doesn’t like but surely if she trusted me she’d do it?? Especially in an area where nothing bad has ever happened?!

I know this is a tiny thing, just an example, but surely this is a predecessor to bigger situations where that trust is needed?

Mare is now 8, I’ve had her from a 3yr old. There is definitely a bond there, she can be so loving and affectionate. I think a maybe that’s where our relationship stops. A lot of this is my fault, I’ve been very inconsistent with her over the years and finally (better late than never) realise I need to go back to those foundations and gain her trust and respect as I am now becoming nervous of riding again. I do really struggle with time, running my own business and winter daylight but I am determined now to put her first and have some fun. I have considered getting a loan rider to hack her but don’t know if throwing another person in will confuse the issue.

Any advise or simple exercises to do with her would be greatly appreciated!!
Thank you xxx

 

[doodle]

What causes the tantrum? Robin dumped me 3 times unexpectedly. Vet came and we are trying to fix his issues. If she is sore that may be adding to her anxiety.

 

[Annalee]

I should have said sorry. No health issues. Sounds silly but we’d had the Pirelli ball in the school, playing, pushing it along while catching her breath between trotting. She’d been good as gold!! The ball got taken away, I asked her to trot on and she threw the tantrum. Also tea time napping. Mare decided done some work, now had enough. Shot forward, I pulled her up and she bucked till I came off.

 

[Cortez]

Horses are not toddlers, they are not humans and neither think nor react like one. They don't have tantrums; they are either obedient or not depending on how effective your training is. Trust is of course vital, and you will earn that by being consistent and clear with your aids, and firm with your requests. Horses do what you say, not what they like.

P.S. She didn't sprain your hip, you did, by falling off.

 

[Goldenstar]

You educate yourself to ride well and train well then horses trust you because you are consistent and fair .
It really is as simple as that .

 

[Annalee]

Thank you for your reply. However I’m not sure of your intent? Are you helping or criticising? I do not mean she threw a tantrum like a toddler spitting the dummy out.
I am aware act reactively and their actions are not premeditated. I meant it more a figure of speech than literal.
I have said the trust issue is mainly down to my inconsistency of work and not her mindset.
However as much I believe horses act instinctively I also believe they are creatures of habit and also respond positively/negatively to disruptions in their routine, riding at tea time for example which I don’t do regularly. Also my friend (our instructor) walking out of the school causing her to nap as she would usually follow her out, that particular ride we carried on.

Again thank your comment

 

[Annalee]

Horses are not toddlers, they are not humans and neither think nor react like one. They don't have tantrums; they are either obedient or not depending on how effective your training is. Trust is of course vital, and you will earn that by being consistent and clear with your aids, and firm with your requests. Horses do what you say, not what they like.

P.S. She didn't sprain your hip, you did, by falling off.

Thank you for your reply. However I’m not sure of your intent? Are you helping or criticising? I do not mean she threw a tantrum like a toddler spitting the dummy out.
I am aware act reactively and their actions are not premeditated. I meant it more a figure of speech than literal.
I have said the trust issue is mainly down to my inconsistency of work and not her mindset.
However as much I believe horses act instinctively I also believe they are creatures of habit and also respond positively/negatively to disruptions in their routine, riding at tea time for example which I don’t do regularly. Also my friend (our instructor) walking out of the school causing her to nap as she would usually follow her out, that particular ride we carried on.

Again thank your comment

 

[Annalee]

You educate yourself to ride well and train well then horses trust you because you are consistent and fair .
It really is as simple as that .

Thank you for your comment.
However, I think your missing my point. I am aware I need to train myself more in order to work with her more consistently and gain her trust. I am asking if anyone can recommend some exercises/activities I can do with my horses. Thanks

 

[conniegirl]

Get an instructor and ditch the parelli

 

[Annalee]

Get an instructor and ditch the parelli

I have an instructor, unfortunately I can’t afford regular lessons at the moment.
We’re not actually doing Parelli, sorry if it was misleading. The ball had been left in the school by someone else

 

[Equi]

I would not bother with any rope swinging and throwing balls etc. Take her to the arena and walk around, stop...if she doesn't stop with you gig her halter and back her up, carry a whip and if she really won't listen rub her chest with it, it just creates a barrier and is not needed for a crack to hurt her. Eventually she will get the point and stop with you. Do that in various ways..walk in circles over poles etc stop at silly points that will make no sense to her (half over a pole etc.) This will teach her "ok i have to listen to you or i will get corrected" this is basic manners in a horse yes, but it can also make them see you as the one doing the talking. Move on to asking her to move her hind quarters away from you but keeping her head with you (again the whip rubbing can help) and literally one step in the right direction is enough at the start. if she moves her whole body and tries to turn just stop, give a second, start again. When she does it right, massive praise and then step back a step and give her a bit of head space to think it over, and maybe a little walk about. You want her to focus but you also need to learn when to give her the space/time to think about something and learn what ques she can give you to know shes thinking/accepting. Re riding, tack up, do this ground work and then get on and do the same thing but from her back. Eventually work in the trots/canters etc. Riding is not always about going going going. I do about 20% of my rides at halt asking my horse to listen to my legs/body not just wanting to move forward.