Trying my best

[Dreamer515]

So recently I watched a video of me riding one of my horses and thought wow I look big on him. he is a 16hh Selle Francis and is 18yrs. I have had him since he was 2 and he is so sweet and genuine, I hate the thought of putting more stress on him.

I have done the 20% weight thing and with tack he should be able to carry me easily but I still can't get over how big I am on him.

So I have been on a diet and fitness programme for a week now and I know not to expect miracles straight away but I can't help feeling defeated already.

I am a really fussy eater but have been trying new healthy foods, I just don't like any of it. I have tried changing my mind set and eating habits but I don't enjoy food like I used to. I am still trying new things and putting up with eating foods I don't enjoy as I am determined to loose weight to make my horses life easier. some foods though have made me physically sick when eating them.

My mum isn't helping either, she has always been obsessed with her weight and has yo-yo dieted for as long as I can remember, she tells me I look big and fat but then keeps offering me unhealthy foods like chocolate and fatty fry ups, I have resisted all these foods and instead had healthy full English breakfast's but it is making me feel even worse. I have asked her not to tempt me and to stop buying me foods that are unhealthy but she won't stop. (we share the shopping bill but because of working hours I often struggle to go shopping myself and mum is a dinosaur and doesn't trust online shopping)

I don't know what else I can do, I am determined to loose at least 2 stone but realistically I don't know how long I can keep this up.

Has anyone got any good ideas to help me please? I haven't ridden my horse since I watched the video as it has really made me feel guilty about riding him.

PS I am 30 years old and have worked with / had horses since I was 14, I used to be classed as underweight until I started an office job and the last few years have been putting weight on. I don't normally care about my weight and have always said that if my horse can carry me comfortably then I am happy but now I worry about it.

 

[Errin Paddywack]

Are you sure there really is a problem and it isn't just your perception of yourself? How about posting a photo of yourself on him and see what others think.

 

[SEL]

I found low carb was the best way to shift weight - & small plates so they looked fuller!

 

[Roxylola]

Mainly it's about calories in and calories out.
Now, that's easier to do with foods which are less calorie dense as you can eat lots without exceeding calorie counts. However, if you can moderate how much you eat there is no reason to really change your diet. It's just portion control, but be vigilant with that - where possible weigh your portions
I have had quite a bit of success with 5/2 which is a type of intermittent fasting, 2 days a week I eat only 500 calories. I'm not super regimented about it, if I go a bit over I dont fret but it means I only really need to put effort in to my food 2 days a week, the rest of the time I eat normally.
The normally though is key, if you are eating extra as a result it wont work.
I'd also recommend my fitness pal to anyone wanting to lose weight and/or be fitter. It's really useful.

 

[Keira 8888]

Well it’s definitely not helping if your mum is putting you in temptations way! Half the battle is already won if you WANT to lose the weight - good work! I would suggest drinking as much hot water and lemon as possible as a) it will make you feel really good and b) sometimes hunger can be confused with dehydration. You could maybe set an alarm on your phone every hour to remind you to do this. Once you have got on a good water routine I reckon you will feel so much more motivated to carry on with a good healthy regime. Unfortunately if your mum is not going to be if much help you are going to need to find an iron will to resist what she puts infront if you! See it as a challenge and don’t give in! Do you like things like peanut butter on toast, fresh lean meat like chicken and turkey (you can just snack on this direct from the fridge!!) I find just grazing on things is a really good way to fuel you - I always have grapes, lovely cherry tomatoes, nuts, slices of chicken In the fridge so if I feel the urge to eat a bag of crisps I just quickly eat something healthier to stop the temptation!! Losing weight can be so frustrating when your loved ones don’t support you. But sounds like you have excellent motivation so don’t let anyone stand in your way. Fill your fridge with healthy snacks that you enjoy! Low fat coconut yoghurt is really good! Good luck darling xx

 

[smolmaus]

I am a really fussy eater but have been trying new healthy foods, I just don't like any of it. I have tried changing my mind set and eating habits but I don't enjoy food like I used to. I am still trying new things and putting up with eating foods I don't enjoy as I am determined to loose weight to make my horses life easier. some foods though have made me physically sick when eating them.

Hey if you don't like it, don't eat it! This is exactly what causes yo-yo dieting! There's no point completely changing the way you eat to lose weight if you can't keep it up in the long term but unfortunately there is a very lucrative industry built around telling us to do exactly that. Ignore it.

Eat what you eat now, just have portion sizes appropriate to your size and activity level. There's no such thing as good food and bad food, it's just energy at the end of the day. Your body doesn't know if fat comes from a sausage or an avocado. Fry ups and chocolate are energy dense of course, so have less of them and get the bulk of your food from less energy dense things, but you absolutely don't have to be choking down whatever miracle food is the flavour of the month if you don't like it!

edit: another MyFitnessPal fan here! The raw numbers can't lie to you the way someone selling a diet plan can!

 

[Steerpike]

I've been keeping a food diary the last few weeks, it's been an eye opener. I've also started calorie counting as said above, I try to eat to my calorie limit per day, if I go slightly over I try not to worry but cut down a bit the following day or do slightly more exercise. Just be kind to yourself and realise its a long haul and don't expect results over night which used to be my downfall!
Edited to add I've upped the amount of water I drink which has been a huge help!

 

[taraj]

Another for low carb (keto) the 1st few weeks trying to eat in a different way are hard but then it does get a little bit easier as your body gets used to it.
If you enjoy your fry ups then keto may work for you as can still enjoy them(egg/bacon/mushrooms and some brands of sausages!).
But you need an eating plan to fit in with your lifestyle otherwise it makes it even harder.

 

[EarsofaSnowman]

Agree with the above, including the benefit of apps like myfitnesspal. As smolmaus indicates changing your diet is a long term thing, think marathon not sprint. One week isn't very long, it takes me 2 to 3 weeks to see any progress but after that its generally a steady improvement. Also it can take a while for your taste buds to adapt, but if you manage to cut down on sugar for a time, when you come back to it the taste is overly sweet so you want less, if any. And be kind to yourself- you will have good days and bad days, but each good day is a step in the right direction. For many of us, food is intrinsically linked with emotion (think about the concept of "comfort food") so it is difficult, so I try to give myself short terms goals as well (this week i will aim to ...) so I can feel good about achieving each little step.
Sorry about the length of post, and hope it doesn't come across as preachy! Reach out whenever you need support x

 

[Annagain]

Have you tried one of the groups Weight Watchers or Slimming World? It's surprising how having like minded people around you can help, even if it's just tips or recipes and there will always be someone there who shares your dislike of certain food and can suggest alternatives. I've tried on my own before but always do better when I sign up to a group as I need the discipline of someone else knowing what I weigh and whether I'm doing it or not. I don't find the sitting round talking about it particularly helpful but I often get good recipes from it (I love cooking) and lots do get something out of it. Obviously there are no physical meetings at the moment but my slimming world group meets via zoom and there's a very active facebook group too.

 

[Dreamer515]

Thank you for your replies, I have started drinking a lot more water but could probably increase the amount again. unfortunately I don't have any money spare at the moment due to an un expected very large over insurance price vet bill that I am still paying off but will look into slimming world or weight watchers.

Thank you to those advising apps like myfitnesspal, I am going to look into it now.

I am leaning more towards the calorie counting way from reading all your responses as then I wouldn't have to worry about what I am eating as long it stays on or close to the calorie limit each day.

I have always had a weak will but am trying to keep motivated.

Thank you all

 

[Bonnie Allie]

Hmmmmmm............dieting does my head in. It always has. Despite being very sporty I have struggled with my weight most of my life.

However - once I changed my view from weight to fitness everything changed. From age 30 I have focussed on how physically fit I was rather than what size I am or how “big” I look.

It does involve a lot of exercise, running, HIIT and an addiction to my Garmin to measure daily steps, sleep and hydration. But so worth it. My body maintains itself as long as I exercise 6 days a week.

im never going to love my body shape but Iget great pleasure in my annual insurance physical to find my body age is less than my actual age.

 

[Annagain]

Just another thought, can you get your mum involved a bit so rather than saying "don't buy this" maybe spend an hour going through a book or online together picking out suitable recipes you both like, planning your meals for the week and writing up a shopping list? Push her towards the healthier things rather than just saying DON'T.

The other thing I find helpful is to restrict my calories (or WW points or SW syns, what ever you're following) during the day so if I have a slightly less suitable meal in the evening it's not such a big deal. So breakfast for me would be fruit and yoghurt or porridge with fruit. Lunch will be some lean meat and salad and I'll snack on fruit and veg throughout the day if I feel hungry (often I eat because I'm bored). I then go home and can have a big bowl of pasta and sauce and even a treat afterwards if I want one.

 

[0950Lisa12]

Slimming world! I have lost 2 1/2 stone now in 3 months!! I joined online so I don't have to go to the groups

 

[Carrottom]

I find it helps to think of food as fuel for my body rather than for pleasure. "Eat to live rather than live to eat" ?

 

[TheHairyOne]

Ive lost 2 stone this year and havent 'dieted' persay, but basically did calories in v's calories out without counting them relgiously.

Step 1 was I massively upped my exercise. My fields look amazing as I poo pick (though we dont have to!). I also run, but any kind of get the heart rate up exercise would do! 30 mins 4 times a week to loose. I can drop to 2 times a week to maintain. Plus i ride 6 times a week. This is the bit I actually enjoy so it doesnt seem like 'work'.

Step 2 I stopped snacking. Totally. So easy to eat at a desk job for something to do.

Step 3 was portion control. And this one took a while to get right since I was used to cooking in a certain way, but I made sure I ate before I was starving, ate slowly, and stopped when I had had enough before I got used to what a serving size should look like. You will be amazed at how eating slowly makes a difference!

Ive not really changed what I eat for my meals (OH would NOT like a change of diet and I am not bothering with making 2 dinners), just the amount of them.

But above all dont be disheartened, it takes time, hormones cause fluctations etc.

However, regardless of what the scales say I feel so much better for the fitness.

 

[Wheels]

Please don't get disheartened. You are only a week in, you need to take a bit of time and note the gradual changes that turn into big changes over a longer period of time.

calories in and calories out is a good method to check but I would say that eating too much sugar, even if it is within your calorie limit for the day, can be detrimental to weight loss.

Most foods are OK in moderation, start by reducing your portion sizes, try and find some healthy foods that you do like and replace some of the more unhealthy options with them. You don't necessarily need to eat only 'healthy' foods but add some healthy and cut back on the unhealthy a bit. Smaller portions and no snacking if you can manage that means an automatic reduction in what you are putting in.

Good luck, it's not easy but it is worth it.

 

[emilylou]

Its a slow afternoon at work so prepare for a long rambling post...

I know loosing weight is really difficult. Unfortunately it is not quite as simple as calories in calories out. If you have been heavier for a while your body will have adjusted to support you at the size you re currently, thus your metabolism slowing down to support you at the weight you are. Your body will be more sluggish to respond to changes you make, so don't be disheartened if initially not much happens.
The easiest way to introduce new foods is a bite at a time. If you would like to eat green beans for example, just eat one for several days, then two, then three, then suddenly you will find you don't mind them and may even start enjoying them.
Try to stick to whole foods, i.e. meat, veg, rice, potatoes, etc. Foods that are simple and you know what is in them. This will give your body the nutrition it needs rather than filling up on high sugar/fat foods with low nutritional value. You will stay fuller for longer and be less tempted to snack.
Find ways to incorporate healthy foods in palatable ways:
I don't like eating bananas or berries, so I put them in a smoothie, which tricks myself into eating large quantities of fruit in the morning, which I would otherwise not do.
Mixed salads are good ways of getting lots of good things in too- look up buddha bowls and mexican food recipes. Food processors are your friend. You can make up big batches and eat it over several days. Which is great for lazy people like me!
Good recipe books are: the real food cook book and any of Joe Wicks meals, both really simple and easy to adapt and actually taste really nice.
Honestly though, I hate cooking. Usually I will just make a smoothie for breakfast: oats, probiotic milk, collegen, blueberries, banannasx2 and apple juice (sounds fancy and complicated but its not, I shove it all in a blender when half asleep). Then fruit, and pasta or something from the lunch room at work then usually steamed green veg, rice or potatoes and veggie sausages for dinner in the week, because its quick and I'm lazy. Usually a fairly big portion. I could eat the same thing every day as long as it doesn't take much time.
Knowing some healthy snacks is good too- homemade popcorn with salt (from kernels) is quick and easy, very low calories and very filling. Tortilla chips are better for you than potato chips, and honey on toast is better for you than chocolate. Plus, always have a stash of healthy snacks with you when you go out, or be prepared to pay a little extra to buy them. I think having more of the right food is actually the key, rather than less food.
Beans on toast is a quick, lazy healthy meal. And if you want a take out- order a curry with rice (no sides- actually pretty healthy)
Re-defining your relationship with food is the biggest challenge. Find some healthier foods that you really enjoy and treat yourself to them, even if they are a bit more pricey. I now get as excited about getting to eat a nice fresh ripe mango as I used to about chocolate.
We are lucky to live in a country with access to so much variety, so being grateful that you get to choose to eat healthy is a good start.
Drinking water is good- obviously. But an easy way to loose weight is sticking to low calorie drinks- so no fizzy drinks or alcoholic drinks, or pure, undiluted fruit juice. - obviously we all have these but it shouldn't be every day, just occasionally.
The easiest way for me is eating 3 proper meals with good food and then snacking on fruit in between, then you feel full and have energy to do things.
Upping exercise is important. Even just standing at your desk or sitting on a gym ball is good, and if you can cycle or walk to work then great. Its lots of consistent little changes that make the difference.
Joe Wicks method is to increase your metabolism to get your body working differently. He does 10 minute hit workouts which are exhausting but do make a difference and again, are quick. 10 mins of pain before you collapse into the shower!
Walking is good too, changing your diet and upping your walking by an hour a day as a fairly good pace can have huge effects. Current statistics show the average middle aged person walks for about... 10 minutes- a week!. I know horse riders do more, but simply being on your feet all day instead of sat can have a huge effect. If you are not already fairly fit, please don't start running! Its dreadful on your joints and cycling/power-walking burn just as many calories as long as you are increasing your heart rate sufficiently.
Weirdly, treating yourself in other ways (not food) works too. Buying a top/boots you've wanted for ages, looking after your hair and skin, stretching, relaxing, giving yourself time. As a nation we are the biggest we have ever been but we are also more tired, stressed, depressed and busy than ever and don't give ourselves enough time to just be. I really think that there is a link. If you are going to put the pressure on yourself in one area of your life, you need to release it in another area.
The main thing is to not do it all at once, and be gentle on yourself if you have a fish and chips or a cake (its okay! I'm size 8 and eat cake and pizza too!) the main thing is the overall trend is positive. Loosing weight well is essentially creating new lifestyle habits for yourself and asking your body to function in new ways, which is why it is so hard and needs to be done in a way that is actually sustainable.
I dont know much about slimming world/weight watchers so cant comment on those but I think having a good encouraging support network is really important and I know you get that from those groups, especially if your Mum is trying to tempt you in the other direction. Good luck!

 

[splashgirl45]

i have put on weight during the lockdown and if i say i am going on a diet, all i can think about is food. so i allow myself to eat almost anything, but make sure i have plenty of veg and some fruit every day..i also count calories and carbs and write down everything i have , so include the calories in things like strawberries as well as the other less healthy stuff i allow myself....if i have potatoes i now have sweet potatoes as they are less calories and i dont feel the need for a big dollup of butter... i make sure i eat less than 1500 cals daily and today it will be about 900 cals and 100 carbs, as i know what i have already prepared for tonight. i also dont drink or eat chocolate so it was difficult to find foods to cut out. i have lost 7 pounds in just under 5 weeks so feeling pretty happy this is working for me. it would work better if i could do more exercise and i am hoping swimming pools will be opening in the not too distant future as i find non weightbearing exercise is better for me due to physical problems. good luck

 

[oldie48]

First of all, don't get down hearted, no-one who enjoys their food likes having to lose weight! I think you need to find something that suits you and your lifestyle. I've lost weight doing the 5.2 diet and so did my brother in law. I find it easier to be very strict with myself on a couple of days a week and eat normally on the other five. My neighbours have done the KETO diet and both lost loads of weight and were never hungry. A couple of friends have used Slimming World very successfully. I think it's great to recognise that you need to lose a bit at 30, it does get harder as you get older and so many people put a little bit on every year then are faced with a mountain to climb (or lose) and that can be really dispiriting. I also try to keep my exercise level up and avoid having lots of snacky things in the house although I do like a bit of something chocolate every day. Good luck

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

OP you say by your calculation your horse should be able to carry you easily - what do you mean by that? Is there anything else other than your appearance in the video that tells you that you are too big for your horse? I'm a novice so unsure what signs there would be that your horse is struggling to carry you - so it's a bit me wanting to learn about that, but also wondering about the motivation and/or 'need' to lose weight.

 

[Gingerwitch]

I have not read any replies yet, just your post, do apologises if someone already said this. So break down your weight loss. I get the goal is 2 stones but that sounds a big number and when you convert that to LLB's it's even worse (28). So change your goals. So go for hitting x stone and 10, then x stone 7, then x stone 3, then a round stone, then x stone 13 and start again. That way your keeping motivated each time and lock up your scales til a Tue, weighing on a Tue will keep you focused on a weekend.
Good luck x

 

[Keira 8888]

I have not read any replies yet, just your post, do apologises if someone already said this. So break down your weight loss. I get the goal is 2 stones but that sounds a big number and when you convert that to LLB's it's even worse (28). So change your goals. So go for hitting x stone and 10, then x stone 7, then x stone 3, then a round stone, then x stone 13 and start again. That way your keeping motivated each time and lock up your scales til a Tue, weighing on a Tue will keep you focused on a weekend.
Good luck x

Yes! Totally agree with this! X

 

[Winters100]

Step by step and find what works for you. I am not overweight, but am quite greedy, so basically I feel like I am on a diet for my whole life! For me what works is sticking to 1300 calories and eating nothing after 6pm, I think mainly because before then I am too busy to overeat. But really there is no 'right' answer. Try different things, and if they don't work for you do not be down hearted - all it means is that you did not yet find the right way for you. You are not alone, many people struggle with this.

 

[Gearchange]

When I am dieting, i literally live on the following.

Breakfast
Either one piece of peanut butter on toast or a bowl of oat so simple porridge

Lunch
Half a chicken breast with veg

Tea
Half a chicken breast, half a pack of rice (the uncle Benz microwave rice) and loads of veg

It isn't a lot of food but I eat so much veg that I feel I'm getting enough

I also hit the gym 3-5 times a week, even if it's just a 20 minute jog on the treadmill.

 

[Gearchange]

What i will add. Don't get into a habit of weighing yourself. Weight fluctuates so much from things like periods. Focus more on what you see in the mirror and the way your body is responding. Not the number on the scales.

 

[Winters100]

Oh sorry, one thing to add. We keep all snack foods in the 'sweetie cupboard' - they are basically for OH when he has nightshifts. My rule is that I can have whatever I want from it, but first I have to walk around the garden (touching the fence in all 4 corners). I know it sounds ridiculous and childish, but you would be amazed how many times you decide that either a) you don't want the mini packet of golden bears because it is raining or b) that while you were outside you changed your mind!

As I said you just have to find what works for you!

 

[McFluff]

You need to find the approach that works for you. I lost weight using counting calories, but then it crept back on, slowly, but surely.
My solution was to sign up to Second Nature, as it looks at the whole issue. Nutrition, planning, portions, exercise, sleep and mindset. For me, this approach worked, and the recipes are all very tasty.
i reached my goal, and I have stayed there for over a year, without really trying. And that included holidays and lockdown. I do need to apply myself a bit more as some bad habits have crept back in, and I’d like to lose a bit more (hormones and age don’t help!).

 

[neddy man]

I love my food but decided I needed to loose weight I would clear my plate whatever was on it. I decided the best way to do it was to eat less, I cut my portion size down by a third (1/3rd less calories in) I am not into counting calories but I drink a lot (not alcohol) so looked at all liquid labels anything bad was ditched, only other changes was salad with just about everything (can't remember the last time i had chips), no chocolate biscuits, sweets, etc. Quite simply really, so 8 months ago i lost 1 stone the first month and 1/2 stone in the 2nd month stayed at that weight for the last 6 months, that was my target, I am happy and feel healthier, I decided to get weighed on 1st of every month so as not to be disheartened by constantly looking at the scales. Stick with the system you choose you'll get there.