Trying times.. inspiration needed!

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flopsypop

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Hi all,

After lurking for a while I thought I'd post because you all seem like normal unfluffy to the point people :)

After a couple of years out of horses (but missing it badly), I bought a youngster a few months ago who is proving to be a gem and I am completely besotted my him. I thought I was in a stable relationship and the bf's financial contribution towards housekeeping would be more than enough to cover the cost of my horse. However, last week my bf told me that basically he wasn't sure what he wanted and left, leaving me in muddle in many ways, but especially financially because I had taken on the commitment of my horse based on his help.

After doing some sums I can just about cover all costs but I will have live like a church mouse, which I am more than happy to do if it enables me to keep my horse. I honestly dont know what I'd do without him.

I was just wondering what lengths people would go to and what sacrifices have been made for people to keep their neddies? I'm just feeling pathetically sorry for myself and need help getting things in perspective! And probably a good kick up the bum!!
 
I haven't been in your position but I know what its like to live on a shoestring. The first thing is to make sure you're on the cheapest livery that you can be. Then check things like supplements and extras ... Dies he really need x, y or z? If he's already on DIY then maybe try to share Sith another livery o you only need to go once a day and save some fuel. It is possible :-)
 
OOO I just buy all the basics at the cheapest price (own brand if need be), i dont go out, have just returned my finance car to get rid of one payment and try not to drive unnecessarily so i dont use extra fuel :) yes i probably live like a church mouse but im a happy church mouse with my horse :)
 
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Don't buy unnecessarily you will manage and many a horse has repaired a broken heart, next bf better know horsey comes first cos horsey doesn't just walk out of relationship.
 
Like the comment a horse heals a broken heart. So true. I lost my child and if it wasn't for the horses I don't know where I'd be. They force you upwards and onwards. As for money-I gave up my house and moved in with my sister in law. After what they got me through I couldn't bare to part with them ever.
 
I'm going thru something like this just now so the sacrifices I'm making:

1 - working as many hours as I possibly can, which means no energy at the moment to ride
2 - he's going to go on his holidays - live out over winter which reduces my costs for a few months
3 - pulled back shoes (can't go w/o fronts tho)
4 - selling my beloved lorry
5 - selling excess tack (I'm a bit of a hoarder anyway, so not really a sacrifice)

Those are the immediate ones for now

The ones I generally practice all the time:

no foreign holidays, not many trips to the beauty salons, don't often go clothes shopping outside of what I NEED (and as cheap as poss)
 
Living like a church mouse would be no big deal if it meant you kept your lovely horse, having a horse is better than going out anyway!

The only thing you might want to think about is getting a sharer if you are really struggling, at least it would give you a bit of breathing space financially and might mean you can have a slightly better personal life, or more money in case of any emergencies (car breaking down, vets bills etc.) There are lots of us sharers out there (me included!) willing to pay decent money for a good horse, a lot of owners I've come across with horses for share are either trying to sell their horse and want someone to bring the horse on, and then buy it off them, or the horse is a problem horse and needs work (hence the sharer doing it all for them!). So having someone who genuinely loves their horse and has no intentions of selling any time soon would be a huge bonus to any sharer!

Other than finding a sharer you just need to look at how you can keep your horse as cheaply as possible, look at any supplements, shoeing, feed, livery etc - if he can live out without shoes all year round that would cut your costs massively!
 
Definitely find the cheapest livery you can and consider a sharer if suitable (how young is he?). I used to work every second weekend at a local tack shop to help fund my horse. That was a double edged sword tho as there was always something I wantd to buy lol.

What area are you in?
 
I had a rapid change of circumstances while pregnant. Look at all your outgoings, even little stuff like walking instead of driving when you can saves enough for a sack of chaff, switching heating off an hour before bed, shop at aldi, wear layers instead of using heating when possible. Sell anything you don't need. Do swops for stuff. Eg I did lessons & schooling in exchange for either cash or something they had I needed, but yard duties would work too. Pt bar job in the eves depending what hours you work already, look at it as getting paid to socialize, rather than sitting home broke. Even exchanging am/pm duties at the yard so only one lot of petrol. It is hard, but worth it imo.
 
I was nearly in a similar position a while back. It was scary, I had to write down all my outgoings and found I could just about afford it but like you I would have to be really frugal.

Council tax was less 25% for single person allowance, shopping would be minimal as most of the time I could eat a mothers which is on the way home from the yard, I would have sold my big car for a cheaper one, insurance would also be cheaper, gas and electric would be minimal as I wouldn't be there most of he time.

My biggest expense would be after my mortgage would be petrol and my livery cost including hay and bedding.

However, fortunately for me we are back together for now..... but after realising I could manage on my own I am not scared anymore. I no it's silly but I have started doing silly things like saving up £2 coins before you what you have saved up £10. Any spare change (coppers) save then bag up, that could be a bale of hay/straw. You'd be amazed what you can do

Good luck anyway, you can do it ;)
 
Hello welcome!

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, I can relate to a degree and have faced some huge financial hardships (due to my irresponsible husband, not my horse!) that I didn't think I'd be able to get out of. I'm just getting back on track now, but it's not been easy!

Since owning Bentley, almost a year to the day I bought him (14th October 2011!!) I've had to make some sacrifices but definitely for the better, I wouldn't be without the dope now even if he does try my patience sometimes! I never go out with my friends now, and if I do I'm on tap water all night, I'm the one in the old, tired scruffy clothes at work, I've not had my hair cut for over a year (other then trying to do it myself with a pair of nail scissors..big mistake!!) and although my car is reliable, its not exactly the shiney new modern car that I'd love. Bentley wants for nothing, but I do tend to buy good quality second hand or 'sales' item stuff for him. Ebay and equestrianclearance.com have been a godsend! I'd love to buy him loads of expensive, brand new rugs etc, but I simply can't afford to, but he's a happy horse and always comes first, I'm the one that goes without to keep him happy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Have you considered having a sharer to help with costs?
 
Is there anywhere near you that has grazing livery? Round our way, this is in the region of £15 per week, so would save you about £40 a month off DIY bills.

Ebay is your friend - sell all of your ex's crap and use the cash to stockpile hay/pay livery bills for the winter....
"Xbox? What xbox? You didn't leave it here. No, I haven't got your 42 inch HD LCD tv either. Or your laptop. *cough*" :D
 
If you get paid monthly budget for every month being a 5 week one as that way at the end of every 4 week one you have a week extra money sitting in te bank. also look on the old style board of money saving expert as they have loads of ways to save. If you have 2 bedrooms could you take in a lodger? if you do the rent a room scheme and get extra income.
 
Wow - thanks for all the replies, there's lots of things to think about thanks :)

Dont think I could have a sharer, I just couldn't trust someone else unless I knew them really well. He's only 4 and just backed so I wouldn't be happy at the moment, if ever. I just dont want to share - might be a reason why I'm suddenly single!

The second job and rent a room ideas sound good, will see how things go. Will be hard because I work full time and also studying but so long as I get to keep my boy it'll be worth it.

Got my name down for a cheaper yard already but they're full. I really love the yard I'm on though so if I can manage over the next few months, I'd like to stay. The facilities/grazing/people are much better but it always comes with a price!

Really though, thanks for the replies, I really appreciate it and feel more like I can do it x
 
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