Un-supportive Other Half's

when I split with my first husband, I decided that men could shove off and I was gonna stay single forever coz he HATED the time I spent with the horses, even thought they were about when we got together....!

So when current OH came along, met him thru horses....it was perfect!

We spend HOURS down our yard, riding, doing jobs, just spending time there....and no complaints tonight either when I handed over £105 to the farrier.....:D

Gonna blow £100 too over the weekend he is, on feed!

Couldn't ask for more!
 
Have to say, I am VERY lucky. My O/H is not at all horsey (though he rode as a kiddie).
That said, he is more than willing to muck in. He found, removed and helped sort Little Stig, chose my 4yr old (did a good job too!), when I was going to pull out of an auction as I thought the price was getting a bit high, he said "why stop if you like him".....so I have him:D
He has spent all last week putting up new field shelter (in wind and driving rain), so no, no complaints here!
 
Mine bless him does the repair jobs, helps to move horses from paddock to another, does ride(much better than me:mad:). Has never complained about the cost mainly because I don't tell him and we've owned horses for nearly 40 years and he has realised that horses and me go together and if that what makes me happy is all right by him.:D:D:D:D:D
 
Well me and OH have been together since we were 16, so 13years now.
I got him out riding a few times when we were much younger, he was really good at it too. Any interest soon went.

At times he has really had a problem with me having my mare when I have really struggled financially to keep her at points. I have always paid for everything she needs and always paid exactly half of all bills at home and such like. He has lent money on few rare occasions before but has always had it back in full.
He will not come up and/or help, or to see her, he just has no interest sadly. I feel it a shame as I have had my mare 18years and she is my baby and I just love her to pieces.
I wish he was more supportive sometimes but we get on with things just fine.
He has grown up a lot about certain things this last year so maybe in time he will be better and more interested in such a big part of my life
It is only down to the money that he thinks its not a good idea for me, or has done in the past, he does not get funny about all the time I spend down the yard at all
 
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Mine is brilliant - not horsey as such but loves my boy to bits, likes to nip in now and again to se him
The farrier is coming tomorrow 9.30 am, because im up for work at 6 am rest of week ( and like a few glasses of wine on a friday night) he has offered to go to meet teh farrier and bring my boy in so i can have a lie in!
Every day in the winter he turns my boy out - even on my days off and xmas day - he honestly sets his alarm and does it with out fail, insisiting he is first there cos my horse loves to be the first out - im very very lucky :)
 
Inky_and_Sunny said:
One thing I want to add at this point is that I am glad my OH isn't really horsey - it's my hobby and I'd hate to share it ;)
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Aw, I love it! Especially lying in the paddock in Summer eating sandwiches and nattering away and I do like the fact that he is there for me to bounce ideas off. When I am worried or upset, he completely gets it and yes, I have seen him cry over a mare we had to have PTS. He had to walk away on his own as the vet checked her to make sure she had gone. Big Softie my husband. :)
 
Mines great too :-) Not horsey but likes them - will come up to the yard from time to time just to see Taff, take photo's or whatever. He'll happily come to shows and never complains about the cost - in fact he's just bought me 3 prs of breeches for my birthday :-) He loves taff and will often check to see if I've put the right rug on so he doesn't get cold or wet :-)

He's not massively confident around horses but will go down the block and say hello to all the horses that are in over their doors. He will lead, lunge or groom Taffy if i encourage him but he likes me there next to him - not sure he'd cope with bringing him in on his own but prob cos Taff can be a bit nervous anyway and picks up the vibes from OH - he's also not above being a bit cheeky (horse not OH!) and pulling a face or tossing his head which un-nerves OH - horse looks very smug at this point while OH waits for me to rescue them both :-)

Never resents the time I spend at the yard or pressures me to come home 0- he's great and
I wouldn't swap him for anything. Of course, it doesn't stop me wanting to murder him sometimes but hey ho
 
Mine's not in the least bit horsey but does help me out when I need him to.
I went back to work full time to pay for them so he can't complain about the expense plus what's left goes on our luxuries.
2 years ago when I had a hysterectomy he and my daughter mucked them out (she kept him right!) until I was fit enough to take over again and when I broke my wrist he took my daughter to all her dressage competitions. Normally he avoids them by miles:D
He will do any repairs that I ask and fitted the camera in my trailer. He also lets me use his company car to pull the trailer.
He's going to help tomorrow to re-insert a wall in one of the stables. It was removed to make a mare and foal stable but now needs to go back in.
He refuses to ride but loves the Fjord to bits even though he won't admit it!
 
Been in your position on a couple of occasions. Horses were fine when we met, I always paid for my horses with no help but both times, when I moved in with the boyfriend, it became totally different. I had the scenario that I also worked full time, yet because the horses were my hobby, fat EX OH would be sitting on his backside waiting for his evening to begin when I got home (and also included cooking supper, housework and shopping) and then it became a battle of control to get me to give up my horses.

Best ex was one who started off (as men do) putting out the ground rules and saying he played rugby in the winter and cricket in the summer so weekend expectations had to be a little on the low side. Was very suspicious when I didn't freak but was very happy!.
That relationship lasted over 7 years so definately the way to go in the future!
 
My OH is brilliant. When we met Fleur was on full livery so my/our 2 visits a week to her were more for leisure and fun. 2 1/2 years later we moved to Bristol and put her on DIY livery. I think it's been a shock for him that she's now a responsibility as well as a hobby, and that I spend so much time down the yard looking after her. But he's been fantastic. He occassionally moans about the state of his car nowadays - and the accompanying smell! - but he now looks after Fleur in the evenings every day so I can spend a bit more time working, and he'll pretty much do everything other than mucking out. He also adores Fleur, and gets pretty upset when she runs away from him the field (she always runs *towards* me!) or makes it clear that he comes second in her affections to me. He has also started having proper riding lessons as he feels that if horses are such a huge part of my life he should be able to ride out with me occassionally. He always insists on coming down when I have a lesson, and he'll take photos and videos for me. I also once found him crying over the fact that he couldn't afford to buy me the horse I'd seen and fallen in love with on the internet. He's making do with buying me some new rugs for Fleur for Christmas instead.

So yeah... he's a keeper :)
 
Forgot to add - when both Fleur and I were ill at the same time he pretty much went between me and the field - even going down there at 1am one night to check on her because I had a horrific dream that she was dying and woke up inconsolable.
 
My OH is awesome! He wasn't horsey before we got together, he has a dog that he walks out together with me and pone and that's how it started really!

He pottered about at the old yard, but since we moved he's really got into it and is taking regular lessons. Helped I think by the fact there are other guys who ride. He now jumps 2' 4 easily and hacks out with me running (!).

We deliberately moved horse near his work so that when I move offices he is nearer to hand and will bring in at night as I'll do the mornings. He tacks him up ready for me and helps me with my chores. He will avoid mucking out if at all possible though!!

I think that I am so lucky and never in a million years did I think I would meet someone who even liked my horse, nevermind loved him.
 
Mine is up the yard right now finishing off the third stable for me, which he has built! I am a lucky lass. He is extremely supportive and will ocassionally have a ride, which is fun.
 
V supportive! It helps that he is horsey too. I tend to do more of the chores as my working hours are more flexible. We help each other out schooling, dash around altering jumps when doing gridwork, hack out together and groom for each other at shows. I don't think either of us would have time for a non-horsey oh as our girls come first!
 
Mine is very good most of the time and has been known to help with fencing and mucking out especially now I am pregnant. but he does love to have a dig about the cost of it all. Shortly I will be on maternity allowance which will just about cover my livery and dog food, so I guess he may have a point! However I do remind him that Benson has been in my life than him! Also doesn't help that he is petrified of horses!
 
My OH is a superstar.
He'll help muck out the field, sort there feeds, change rugs, fills the water troughs, does haynets, fixes any fencing that needs doing or any other jobs that are required, grooms both horses, he'll walk out with me when i go hacking & if i'm not feeling too good (i'm diabetic) he'll do everything himself without me even asking.
He never resents any of my time being spent with them either.

I really would be lost without him.

XxX
 
I was lucky with my ex, he was not into horses at all and would try and avoid them like the plague.
But he found us a house with enought land so i could have my horses at the end of the garden, then put floodlight up around my winter field so i coluld see to feed in the winter.
Would help with most repairs or do work for friends in return to get them to do my jobs that needed doing.
Never really complained about the house being a tip and dinner not till whatever time.
But best bit was he also happily paid for their keep
 
I have had a share horse for just over a week now and OH seems to have turned into chief housekeeper!
He does the evening meals (mostly because he'd like to eat before I get home) and has been keping the house pretty tidy.
He doesn't grumble about my time at the stables but I think it's a fine line - I understand that he'd like to see me occasionally.
He's totally non-horsey (I managed to drag him to the stables on Saturday because we had to go on else-where afterwards and he sat on a shavings bale reading his magazine, didn't want to meet my new horse)
generally we try to organise ourselves that if I'm goint to be late back then he'll organise a bike ride so he's not home alone.
We'll have to see how it develops.
 
My OH is an absolute gem! He's not horsey but is an animal person (couldn't be with someone who wasn't). He comes with me every week to competitions, and even does the mares studs for me (which is the part I hate most). He fills the hay net, cleans out the horsebox after, he's soooo helpful. He never complains, except when we go to a show that's not serving food :)
He's a keeper!
 
Mine isn't very involved but he does like them & in 15 years has never complained about the time I spend with them or the money that I spend (although I pay for them myself).
I bought a new horse yesterday & he came up to meet her, although he changed his mind when I told him she was in the bottom field which is a bit of a walk!
But when my mare had a twisted gut he came up & stayed with her when she was shot & helped the kennel man with his winch, he offerd to clear up afterwards but didn't need to as the kennel man took care of it.
So when the chips are down he is good.
 
Inky_and_Sunny said:
For those who are single - find yourself a football fan or a computer geek! Then you will never get moaned at. The ones who are unsupportive tend to be the needy ones without a hobby of their own...
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yes good point about hobbys its nice to share and great if your partner has a separate inderpendent interest so you can do your own thing.... although I dont think I could deal with a football fan that realy would be a step too far... :D
 
Inky_and_Sunny said:
For those who are single - find yourself a football fan or a computer geek! Then you will never get moaned at. .
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You have hit the nail on the head there!!!

Didnt have a horse when i met OH......(would have had i not have had a bad accident and was still strapped up and didnt have the use of one arm at the time!!)
When that had healed we had been together for about 18 months and lived together for a year when i dropped the bombshell that i wanted another horse!!
to be fair.....i was umming and ahhing whether or not i could do it working 6 long days a week.....but he was the one who encouraged me despite being allergic to all animals :D :D
So along comes new horse...all went wrong and the horse was a bit loopy....he really supported me thorugh that and through the desicion to say that enough was enough and to put him out on loan.
He doesnt give any contributions financially and he doesnt do any mucking out etc...as the straw and horses make him really ill. BUT...more importantly....he NEVER complains at all about me getting home from the yard late every night or me having to go to the yard on a sunday (our only day together). He helps out by doing a fair bit around the house...i.e dinner and helps me cleaning.
And he is always there when photos need to be taken :D:D

He is a computer geek...so when i am horseing around he is doing stuff to the computers, writing bits of softwear, doing photography stuff etc etc.
I am really lucky.....he is the best.
 
I've got a gem here:D

Met after uni, just starting work. Not a horse in sight so was a bit of a shocker for him when he discovered just how horsey I am!

Now we have house, jobs, kiddies but he gets up with me every morning to walk dogs while I do horse (somehow makes it seem getting up at sparrow's fart when there's someone to do it with you).

He encourages me to go and do stuff (don't compete as very conscious that I don't have time, with family and job) but do get plenty of time to do go out hunting etc. In fact, he loves to follow the hunt and is really happy if he can come out on foot too!

He enjoys riding but not interested in all the `silly trots' (that's dressage, btw). Will do stable duties happily and I give him the odd lesson occasionally (will involve much work without reins and stirrups if I want a particularly good laugh).

He is finally going to take my boy out on the Candover Sponsored ride at the end of the month and I am giving him jumping lessons at the mo:eek:

.....he is now trying to persuade me to get another horse. Well, we have one, why not have two?!? I can't believe I am the one saying no:D
 
The ex wasn't really unsupportive, I was just unwilling to compromise. I didn't see why he, a capable young man with the ability to fend for himself, should come before domestic animals that rely on a human to make sure they're provided for. It's how I was brought up and as such I expect anyone who wants to share my life to understand that's how it's going to be. Lots of other little issues but that was the main one :o I should really be far more reasonable.
 
My ex used to resent the time I spent with my horses.

The reason why we broke up was he had Flu and I went out to ride and came home to a 2 hour diatribe about how he had realized that as he got older and needed someone to be with him that I would not be there. I packed and moved out and spent a blissful 3 years on my own in the middle of nowhere with just my horses and my dogs!

When I met my OH he kind of realized (I think I put it in words of two syllables) that the Horses and dogs were totally non negotiable.

From being someone who had never had anything to do with them "my god their Big Buggers" he now shares a huge part of the load with me, even taking some lessons in how to handle my large and occasionally bolshy youngster.

He now happily mucks out, poo picks, grooms, and will even help out other people at the yard.

He has recently started to have lessons and is doing really well.
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