Unbiased views on this confusing situation please..

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EquestrianFairy

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Horse X1
Part Loaner X1 (as from March 2010 and pays half of livery and shoes- nothing else)
Owner X1 (as from forever)

Part-loaner takes over horse in March and has him 24/7 with no intrusion from owner, owner pops up to see horse twice a week but generally leaves part loaner to it.
Occasionally owner wants to ride but part loaner is riding so they agree another day and thats all good, one day owners car broke down so a friend rode for her- part loaner did not like this and stated she was unhappy.
July comes around and in prep for Uni owner cuts down her case loads at work and wants to ride more, two days a week are arranged plus one weekend day for shows.
The one day of her two days is for an hour to take said horse to have a lesson.
Part loaner agrees.. a schedule is drawn up of local shows and there is one almost every weeknd in some cases. Owner says which ones she would like, part loaner chooses hers and it is agreed (some they arrange to do together)

The shows come along and the first two weekends part loaner cannot do so owner takes him and does well.
Another weekend they both take him
Third weekend part loaner is unavailable so owner takes him
fourth weekend part loaner was due to go but never mentioned anything so owner takes him and qualifies for a championship.


Part loaner then states she feels that owner wants him back full time and she doesnt want to waste her time and money if this is the case as she can never compete him etc.
Owner states she is wrong, owner only asked for him twice a week and one weekend day- giving loaner 3 days and a weekend day to do what she wants. Part loaner feels that owner never mucked out over the two remaining months of winter (when part loaner had him full time and owner rode barely twice) and would this 'current' arrangement continue into winter, owner states it should be ok but obv uni is coming up so she doesnt know yet. Part loaner states that she feels the owner is riding more in summer wheras she never bothered in winter and part loaner had only minimal riding in winter because of the winter weather. Owner states yes, of course, because its summer- the days are longer and she has the time and there is a fully usable school with floodlights for winter if need be plus part loaner was having all weekend.
Owner gives part loaner an option of handing horse back if she is unhappy, part loaner states no she will continue for the moment.

Now... is this situation unfair in anyones case, part loaner or owner or is it deemed fair?!
 
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If I've got the right gist of your post, it sounds to me like the 'part' loaner wants your horse full time (or certainly more than a part share would be) but is happy to only pay half livery/shoes....

If it were me, I would set in writing a letter stating the days which she can do and the days which owner will do and that she is free to do competitions agreed between sharer and owner, however, unless confirmation of this is given to owner 2 days prior to show, owner will make arrangements to take horse instead....

Its your horse, she needs to advise you of everything she is and isn't doing....
 
4th weekend owner shouldn't have taken him.
other than that and that mucking out et.c need sorted (if I was mucking out everyday would expect to ride every day too tbh!) seems like it may not be a match made in heaven....
 
I can see it from both sides.
Part Loaner was really a full loaner and is obviously feeling it now she has become a part loaner again. Shes feeling hard done by as it appears she did all winter and now the good weather has come in her eyes the owner wants to ride again and has already said she may not be arround in winter BUT part loaner is only paying less than half the cost.

Owner is paying for a horse she hasnt used and wants to share him as previously agreed, owner cant see a problem in going to competitions when part loaner isnt going which is fine as long as part loaner doesnt want to do something else with him on that day.

Its difficult really as the owner has someone she can trust to look after her horse and really shouldnt just pop in and out when it suits.
I would say either put him on full loan to part loaner or have specific days and stick to it regardless all year round. Id be afraid that part loaner may be looking elsewhere as she said 'shes ok at the moment'
Hope you sort it
 
SusieT said:
4th weekend owner shouldn't have taken him.
other than that and that mucking out et.c need sorted (if I was mucking out everyday would expect to ride every day too tbh!) seems like it may not be a match made in heaven....
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To be fair- both had agreed on a show schedule so both knew about the show, owner was actually suprised when part loaner stated she wasnt going.
Yes she was riding everyday when she was mucking out.
Horses went out 24/7 in May ( so no mucking out) then owner came back on the scene mainly in July.
 
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Louby said:
Its difficult really as the owner has someone she can trust to look after her horse and really shouldnt just pop in and out when it suits.
I would say either put him on full loan to part loaner or have specific days and stick to it regardless all year round. Id be afraid that part loaner may be looking elsewhere as she said 'shes ok at the moment'
Hope you sort it
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I agree here, although to be fair to both part loaner and owner- owner told part loaner she was able to ride more and had given notice to this.
-and to be fair to part loaner she is attached to the horse so i can see why its upsetting for her also.
Owner stated she wouldnt have another part loaner if this one left but doesnt want to hand over full responsibility to another person after a horrific time when she loaned out a horse previous (different horse)
 
Yes, agree you need schedule with specific days when Loaner "has" the horse. Loaner mucks out on the days she has the horse. Owner is responsible for other days. Re shows, you have a schedule and it's the loaner's problem if she decides not to go. However, it wouldn't hurt loaner and owner to text each other during the week coming up to the show and check that all is going to schedule. Because if loaner isn't going to do anything with the horse on that day, no reason why the owner shouldn't go to the show. However... if the show is on one of the loaner's days, and she doesn't want to do it, but does want to do something else... I think the owner should leave her to it.
Complicated innit?
 
Thats fair enough, Id hate to hand my horse over despite his quirks.
I reckon solution is either:
Take back the horse full time
Have specific days and stick to them all year round, ok if youve qualified for something thats different
Let her have him on full loan with the condition that you can and will be coming to see him (without riding him) whenever you want.

It would be a shame to lose a loaner who seems to be looking after your horse especially if you need a loaner ie other commitments.
 
louby- I think you make a fair point of having the same days all year round. I agree with this and think each person is trying to be fair but obviously attachment is involved and that always makes things harder.
 
RedRolo, whether you are the owner or the loaner, maybe life is just too short to have such hassle? It may be better to call it a day on this loan arrangement and find an alternative as it is doubtful if the relationship will ever settle down and long-term low-level unpleasantness/uncertainty can just eat away at you. Sorry to get all philosophical, but my guess is that this arrangement is simply causing two people to feel aggrieved and unsettled for most of the time and who needs that? Hope it all gets sorted, but maybe you have tried long enough to make this work and its time for a fresh start.
 
Think get gist.. Personally think you would be better giving her full loan as she feals that she has done the winter on her own, if i read it right. Or sit down and work out a plan that both share the looking after and riding. I have got some one riding my pony as i am busy and I keep away as I am pleased that he is being ridden and looked after. When he is sold which she was more than aware of, we are going to share the next one.( Even though really want to ride some times) May have the same issues as you are having so will have to keep fingers crossed we can sort it out,as i would struggle at the moment to ride all the time. Good luck hope you sort it out. Could do a full loan for the rest of summer and then start riding again with her in autumn. Difficult one
 
smossy said:
Think get gist.. Personally think you would be better giving her full loan as she feals that she has done the winter on her own, if i read it right. Difficult one
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This is the thing, the part loaner only did two months of winter- she took over in March and the horses went out 24/7 in May although the owner wont do a full loan because they had such a bad experience last time. (not with this part loaner, different person)
 
Petalpoos said:
RedRolo, whether you are the owner or the loaner, maybe life is just too short to have such hassle?
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I think your probably right, it hasnt been smooth from the moment the owner wanted to start doing more than just coming up to see him to be honest.
Its difficult because the owner was quite ill which prompted this part loan (never done anything like this with this particular horse as hes quite special to her) and whilst she doesnt want to upset the part loaner she also wants to be a part of her horses life now shes on good form WITH the part loaner not against her.
 
ah the minefields of loaning :rolleyes:

as an owner with a horse out on loan/ have had sharers in the past- i can see this from both sides:

- owner wants to ride/compete horse which she helps pay for and has taken steps to discuss with the partloaner

- partloaner is probably pissed off. she had horse (effectively) on full loan and now its got to summer she's back on a part loan. i think it would have been ok if it had been a 'true' part loan from the start but it wasn't really was it...they have now got used to having horse all to themselves

i would say that a 'sitdown' meeting is needed to sort out what is happening. either the horse needs to stay on part loan but owner needs to stick to this over winter and help out or horse needs to go on a full loan and partloaner needs to start paying more money.
 
Hey everyone,

Well I think the part loaner has a great deal here. They get the horse 4 days out of 7 and from what I can make out when the owner goes back to uni the loaner will get even more time with the horse and is only paying half livery and shoes. Isn't that a good deal? I take it the owner pays for vet fees and insurance or is all that halved too?

Anyway if the loaner couldn't make it to the show or stuff happens then I think the clue is in the word "owner" and the loaner should have kept the owner informed then there would be no problems. Sounds like the owner has been pretty fair and nice IMO.

In fact I know quite a few owners who loan out their horses and refuse to let the loaners compete. Not me, I am far to selfish and only want me to ride my ginger boy :) plus I would hate seeing anyone else ride better than me on him lmao :)
 
Sounds like loaner wants full loan instead of part.

Just be clear with what you want, arrange days with plenty of notice and do the other jobs on the days you do.

Cant be fairer that that!
 
Hi all,

Thanks for the input- it has been arranged that each person has one weekend day to compete if they wish and the days are set during the week as GLUE (regardless of weather, lost shoes or bad attitude) it has been arranged to continue this arrangement throughout winter aswell.

We will see if this helps set the pace for the moment.. if not then i think it may be a match made to finish but no one can say they havent tried all avenues.
 
I am completely confused by the original post - and I think the owner and sharer have probably mis-communicated and this is where any confusion has come from.

From what I can gather, if I were the sharer I would be miffed that I had done the horse all winter, looked forward to summer since the owner appeared to not want to ride much at all, and now the owner is reaping the benefits without having put in much hard work over winter.
 
Naturally said:
if I were the sharer I would be miffed that I had done the horse all winter, looked forward to summer since the owner appeared to not want to ride much at all, and now the owner is reaping the benefits without having put in much hard work over winter.
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The part loaner did the horse for the last two months of winter- that is it and i dont think its fair to say the owner is 'reaping' the benefits as she rode most days in winter and did the entire looking after of her own horse until part loaner took over in March. Both have an equal share in the benefits of how the horse is doing.
 
got confused with the whole thing first time round................brain working over time....try and sort it out between you and sure when its all done and dusted it will work out. Good luck can see both sides of problem now the penny dropped,sounds like a good loaner so maybe give it a whirl before you throw towel in .
 
To me it doesn't sound like much of a share! The loaner did all the work at the end of winter (from the part she took over..) with the owner "just popping up now and again". The only thing that was shared was the bills. The owner can't use the "I did it the rest of the winter" arguement as it wasn't being shared then so of course they did! Once the weather got better, the owner got more involved - when the sharer had got used to having "sole custody" so to speak. The owner says that the sharer will have more time with the horse when they go to uni and its winter again - doesn't sound that fair to me! Its a recipe for disaster!

The new "set in stone" agreement should include who cares for the horse - ie, when its your riding day, its your looking after day - summer and winter, at uni, work or whatever.. Otherwise it is full loan if you expect the sharer to do everything. You really need everything clearly written down, signed etc for these things to work.

At the end of the day, its the owner's horse, but they must be fair to the sharer if they want to go down this road..
 
A good, reliable and caring loaner is essential if you are away at Uni and can't get back easily. In this case you have to put your horse first, grit your teeth and be willing to compromise. You need your loaner more than they need you; there are loads of horses out there needing someone to loan them.
The owner will probably have a month at Christmas, and at Easter and 4 months at home in the summer so this problem will keep cropping up unless it is sorted out clearly now. Perhaps the owner could agree to take some of the mid-winter burden off in return for more use of the horse in the summer, when everyone wants to ride. If nothing can be agreed on at this point, then I think it would be time to call it a day and start looking for someone else.
 
i feel a bit like its unfair on the owner as it is the loaner who is being faffy about the situation and i have been a loaner who has a faffy owner and its horrendous as whatever you do seems not to work. i think its quite reasonable if one person isnt riding then the other should as the horse needs the work it needs. i think a secedule should be worked out but i think the sharer needs to understand that they are not buying the horse and are paying relatively small amount for the horse and so should be doing more work. the owner has to pay orginal full cost of horse, worry about the horses insurance, vets bills and general welfare as well as ongoing costs where as the loaner only has to pay half of ongoing costs. sorry about the rant but i hate it when people dont understand the full picture. the sharer should appreciate the horse more and accept that because they dont own the horse they will have to make adjustments.
 
RedRolo said:
The part loaner did the horse for the last two months of winter- that is it and i dont think its fair to say the owner is 'reaping' the benefits as she rode most days in winter and did the entire looking after of her own horse until part loaner took over in March. Both have an equal share in the benefits of how the horse is doing.
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definately true the sharer seems to have got carried away with believing this is there horse and the owner sounds like they have put in work over the years
 
I can see that obviously the owner has problems when she is away at uni regarding riding the horse but as others have said I think it is HER horse. I was very nervous earlier this year and didn't ride my horse much at all and it was suggested I got a loaner but didn't for this very reason. If the loaner wanted to walk away tomorrow or the horse became lame or injured in some way it would be totally the owners problem so no I don't think it should be on a 50/50 basis. To me the loaner is acting as if she owns half the horse as opposed to paying for the use of it. Could the horse go on full livery/ part livery so as there is no arguing about who did/ does the jobs and simplify it to riding only?
 
Bens_Mum said:
I can see that obviously the owner has problems when she is away at uni regarding riding the horse but as others have said I think it is HER horse. I was very nervous earlier this year and didn't ride my horse much at all and it was suggested I got a loaner but didn't for this very reason. If the loaner wanted to walk away tomorrow or the horse became lame or injured in some way it would be totally the owners problem so no I don't think it should be on a 50/50 basis. To me the loaner is acting as if she owns half the horse as opposed to paying for the use of it. Could the horse go on full livery/ part livery so as there is no arguing about who did/ does the jobs and simplify it to riding only?
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you put it better then i did
 
You need to get a rota sorted. I have had numerous shares and every time we have had a rota - or an online calander that we can both access so we know what is what.

I have a sharer at the moment, but am doing things back to front. She has him in the summer as I have my daughter and do stuff with her, and I will do more in winter.
 
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