unhorsey but some lovely HHO Hugs needed

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babymare

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over the last 3 weeks since breaking her arm I have seen my mother fade away from me. The strong independent woman is just fading - her meory is going to extreme that she can not remember a conversation or something she done 10mins before. We have always been close and it is tearing me apart to see what is happening. Yes at 78 age was creeping up - the knees ached, slowing down - and she as always been a dizzy whirl wind but now she is like a frightened tiny child Yes me and my brother have talked with her doc which was awful as I felt like I was betraying her and talking about my mother like a child. Yes we have made plans but all I want is my mum back . I know we face losing our mothers but it is tearing me apart seeing her shrink not only in body but in her personality to. i just keep crying so many tears . When we kiss cheeks goodbye now she holds on so tight as if she is scared its the last hug

This as all happened so fast so please people tonight ring your mums - just tell them out of the blue " do you mum your so special and I love you" . I just want my mum back thats all I want.
 
so sorry to hear this!:( What ever happens you have the rest of your family and your friends to help you through these rough times. These things happen in life and you have to move on sadly.

*hugs* x
 
(((hugs))) I have recently had the same thing with my (until now) very active and robust father. At 79 he has been diagnosed with leukaemia and it is scarey how much smaller and how diminished he seems. I was very shocked when I saw him last (he lives abroad) and I know how frightening it is to see someone who has always been so able become so weak. I hope your mum rallies and enjoys her life again.
 
It certainly is devastating to watch your mum change from the independent woman who brought you up, to a child-like dependent person. My mum lost her confidence when she broke her ankle in her early 70s and never really got it back. Although her cause of death was not at all related (and is quite controversial but that's another story) I think that this was the beginning of her end, which happened several years later.
You might be pleasantly surprised though when your mum is able to stop taking painkillers for her arm. I remember that when I broke my leg, the painkillers which I was taking affected me in many ways. Does your mum's doctor think that there will be lasting problems for your mum?
I'm sending hugs for you both, with lots of positive thoughts.
 
Big hugs, my dad has dementia and I know that feeling of betrayal only too well. It's really hard to take over all the reponsiblity for a parent. All I can say is remember the good times and know that you are doing the right thing by now looking after your mum.
 
Watched Dr. Martin on Sun. Lady sprained her ankle and seemed to be losing memory but it turned out she was not drinking so was dehydrated. When she was treated she was fine. My mum had altzeimers and they said she could be worse if she had a water infection. Has your mum been checked for either of these things. It so sad my mum broke her hip recvovered well from operation but because she could not remember she got out of bed and fell and broke it again and her arm. This time they just left her to die.
 
hi i second the dehydration and pain killers....................please make sure she is drinking enough, also is she on a codiene baised pain killers? if so try on paracetamol etc
 
Ditto the above comments re dehydration and a possible urine infection. Although my mum did suffer from dementia it was a gradual decline, but quite early on she had a urine infection and for a short while was totally confused. Hugs to you, it is horrible watching your parents age.
 
Am right there with you at the moment my Mum had a serious stroke just before christmas, she has been in hospital even since and a woman who used to walk her little dog at least 2 miles a day back in December at 88! Is now sitting in a hospital chair staring into space all day.

She was such an independant person just a few weeks ago and now is scared of being out of the Hospital in case they give her bed away! They say there is nothing more they can do for her but I find that one hard to believe. Thankfully she is moving into a lovely residential home, which mercifully she seems resigned to tomorrow after getting Norovirus in the damned hospital. The home have a memory club and lots of stimulating activities and I am going to get her booked in with my Neurological Chiropractor as I am sure there is more improvement there.

It's a bad year already as my sister who luckily has power of attourney for mum got rushed to another hospital this afternoon! It's heartbreaking as I am now having to clear out her house working there on my own every evening, to either rent or sell and it's like she has died doing that!

I have put everything on hold and lent the horse I was going to compete on this year to a friend because I want to spend my time helping her, you only have one mum and one chance to support her when she needs you most, it's horrible to watch but you know that you are doing the best for them and that in itself helps. Good luck and lets hope that they can bother get at least a little better.
 
Unless your mum had been suffering from some sort of dementia before her breaking her arm or her fall (I'm assuming her arm was broken in a fall) was the result of a stroke then any dementia symptoms may be the result on 1) Pain medication, 2) Urinary infection 3) dehydration or a combination of all three and even lack of food if she is in hospital and not being fed properly

I am not a doctor but I went through this with my mum when she broke her hip at 78 and also recently with my Uncle of 86. My mum was also because of a mistake by the pharmacist overprescribed one medication by 5 times the dose which turned her pratically into a zombie. I discovered it when I read the prescription and saw the dosage was different to the intsruction printed on the bottle. Just make sure the doctors are aware of her mental acuity before the accident because they do have a tendency to assume all old people have senile dementia. Do push back with the medical profession nobody knows or cares about your mother like you do and don't think they know it all becaus ereally they don't - trust me!

Best of luck.
 
Many hugs, but some of the posters could be right, if she broken a bone, it takes longer for the person to recover, and if a arm could you manage on your own,just put yourself in your mums place and could you manage. Me and the OH are in our 60's and yes we do forget things, mostly trivial stuff.
 
Hugs hunny. Fingers crossed it's the drugs/dehydration/pain and that it will improve quickly once the cause is resolved.

My Mum had a stroke in 2004. By chance I've just found a diary from then and it opened on a page that talks of the stroke. Mum changed and it was hard. I had to think of her as a different person - both my Mum, but different. It was the only way I could deal with the change in personality and abilities.
 
Poor you.Keep strong and be brave,easier said than done,i know.
My Mum was taken from me last year with cancer,at a very young age...I miss her so much,and feel cheated as she was very young.
You only have one Mum,make every moment special with them,you never know when it will be too late :(
 
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