Unsolicited advice from YO (Just a grumble!)

fiwen30

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I need to have a little moan, if you don't mind!

My loan cob mare has started to shed something fierce in the last couple of weeks, so I've been slowly trying to defluff her and tidy her up coming out of winter where she was allowed to get wild and wooly. Cue YO butting in with an unwelcome 'she looks SUCH a mess, are you EVER going to trim her tail/pull her mane/tidy her legs? You should do that today/go and do it now'.

Yo doesn't like hair, I get that. She has warmblood and TB types which are pulled and trimmed to within an inch of their lives, and that's OK. I (and her owner!) however love Lola's fuzzy feet, bushy tail and loooong forelock. I'll admit that her mane needs a good tidy, and I did a bit yesterday, but I go slowly with her as she doesn't enjoy the process, which got me eye rolls from YO! It shouldn't matter if it takes 1 session, or 10, or if I want to grow it to her blooming knees! Grrr!
 

muckypony

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Next time you see her having a bad hair day just say 'oh my god you look AWFUL, are you EVER going to shave that hair off!?'

She doesn't sound like a very pleasant YO. She shouldn't expect everyone to like pulled and trimmed horses and really should know that everyone likes something different!
 

sarahw123

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I'd point out that she is a cob - a hairy cob...NOT a TB or a warm blood. I'd also point out that the owner stipulates haircut, not a yard owner! How irritating
 

Mrs G

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I sympathise, I really do; I'm on a livery yard and there are a couple of people on there who 'are always right' and 'know all there is to know about everything' and have lots of 'advice' to give, which they do, ALL THE TIME whether you need/want it or not!! I tend to nod and give non committal noises then do what I was going to do anyway. You soon come to realise who are worth listening to and who to completely ignore but some people are so rude/bitchy with it, eg the eye rolling your YO does - that is blatently rude. I also hate the way the said people at my yard bitch about those who dont follow their advice to the letter. At the end of the day, your (loan) horse, your choice, nothing to do with them so in your situation OP, I would revel in horsey hairiness!
 

3OldPonies

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^^^^ This.

I had a similar comment last year about the shape of one of my boys with cushings. Boot is on the other foot this year now that the horse belonging to the person that said it also has cushings and has lost his topline. I've managed to bite back the 'he's got a tummy on him' comment that so upset me last year. The reason he looks like he has a tummy is that his back has dipped, like happens to a lot of oldies with cushings.
 

Toby_Zaphod

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Just ignore her comments. Some YOs seem to think that because of their position they have a right to pass comment on anything & be as rude & insensitive as they want to be to anyone. Your horse, your decision as to how you look after your horse....simple!
 

fiwen30

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Don't worry, I've no inclination to make aggro over it, was just annoyed about the whole thing! I normally value her advice quite highly, as in a lot of respects I'm a know-nothing novice, but I know how to pull a blooming mane, and I know what I think looks good for my horse!
 

Sussexbythesea

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I'd just secretly enjoy the fact that it annoys her :)

I grew my WB's mane for 6 months when he was recovering from injury and there are some busy-body people on the yard that I know it annoys so I took a perverse pleasure in seeing how long it could get. I've trimmed it now he is back in work but shock-horror I used thinning scissors which is another apparent no-no!
 

Exploding Chestnuts

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I'd just secretly enjoy the fact that it annoys her :)

I grew my WB's mane for 6 months when he was recovering from injury and there are some busy-body people on the yard that I know it annoys so I took a perverse pleasure in seeing how long it could get. I've trimmed it now he is back in work but shock-horror I used thinning scissors which is another apparent no-no!
Thinning scissors!
 

Spreebok

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I'd be tempted to subtly drop the hint that there will be hell to pay if anyone touches a hair on her, but then I'd be paranoid some busybody know it all might take it upon themselves to 'help you out'.
 

MiJodsR2BlinkinTite

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I'm a YO and wouldn't ever dream of criticising either a livery's choice of horse or its trimming regime!!! What blimmin cheek! And there's a whole world of difference between politely offering say the loan of some clippers/trimmers - if needed; to being demeaning.

It sounds very much OP like you are feeling that you are the odd one out at this yard? It feels a little like everyone else there is riding sleek, groomed, top-spec steeds which are trimmed within an inch of their lives and schooled to death......???

It feels like this might not be your thing? Your cob is yours, you've spent time and invested a lot of time and affection on him, and it is up to YOU how he is trimmed. You like him the way he is, and that's that. But I wonder, just a tad, if you might not be happier at a less "well-groomed" yard where you and your lovely cob can just chill out, be yourselves, relax, and have some fun, where there are other like-minded cobby-types as well???

I offer this merely as a suggestion/observation.
 

FairyLights

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I sent my hairy cob away for schooling and they trimmed and hogged him and cut his feathers off. its all ok now apart from his tail. they took 2/3 of it away! it'll take another 2 or 3 years before its long and thick again. I was blummin furious.
 

laura_nash

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It sounds very much OP like you are feeling that you are the odd one out at this yard? It feels a little like everyone else there is riding sleek, groomed, top-spec steeds which are trimmed within an inch of their lives and schooled to death......???

I had my hairy cob at a yard where most of the other horses were into either showing or dressage and were all sleek and trimmed. I didn't really have any problems, some comments when I went barefoot and a couple of silly arguments (one when YO said Kelly Marks was okay for cobs but knew nothing about TB's sticks in my head!) but generally people just shook their head and let me do my thing.

The YO at that yard often made comments about trimming my cob, e.g. wouldn't he look nice without the beard, it would only take a minute, but it was all done very jokily and not in a demeaning way like OP's YO sounds. The YO there did comment when I was pregnant and horse got pretty filthy, but it was offering to give him a bath for me rather then telling me to do it. She liked the horses to look good when people came around (prospective liveries or schooling clients) so I understood why she was fussing.
 

asmp

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Personally I'd say'Ooh, are you offering?' as I'd love someone to tidy up my horse (for free!). Takes me ages to pull a mane.
 

Celtic Fringe

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My YO offers unsolicited advice all the time. I mostly smile and nod and get on with my own thing. He does know that if he so much touched a whisker on either of my cobs things would turn out very badly indeed for him (not least because old cob would kill him first).
 

Auslander

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I think it rather depends what sort of yard you're on. If it's a DIY yard, where everyone does their own thing, then she should wind her neck in.If it's a private yard where she likes to maintain certain standards of turnout, then that's her prerogative. She could probably be a bit more pleasant in the way she's asking, but I can see her side of the story.

Personally, I keep mine, liveries included, trimmed and tidy, even if they are retired, because I like them that way. If I had a livery who was supposed to be hairy, well turned out hairy would be fine, but I'd make sure that the owner was aware that I am a bit OCD, and if they weren't maintainers, or happy for me to maintain, then my place would probably be the wrong yard for them.
 

aintgotnohay

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i had part time job on a livery yard in 1999 it was a small posh yard where u had to use wheelbarrow covers when taking the muck to the muck heap and all the horses were trimmed and clipped etc to show standard daily.any hair or stray bedding was quickly disposed off.well one day she said i could bring my horse down on to the yard (she had never exctly seen dandy lol so knew nothing about him.so i bought him down and she gave me a premium stable next to the tack room.well she actually had a breakdown when i bought him down and said he must be tidied up or go round the back.he was an oldish cob with terrible confirmation lol.his 4 inch beard came off,his whiskers,he had a bib clip,his mane was hogged ,his tail was pulled and his hairy heels were clipped.he looked lovelly when she had finished lol and it was free aswell.
 

Ponycarrots

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Horrible, narrow minded comments :(
Traditional cobs look gorgeous. I think they look much nicer with all their hair than when they're all clipped out and hogged. That look just doesn't suit a big chunky horse IMO and it sounds like you think so too, as well as a lot of other people; hence traditional cob shows etc.
 
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