Unsolicited Advice

Depends if it's advice given kindly, because you are going wrong. We had a young girl livery who was not caring for the pony properly, and the pony was suffering. Eventually after being told she was fine, and mind our own business, we called the RSPCA in and the inspector read the riot act in no uncertain terms.
So - if you are absolutely certain you are 'doing it right,' then yeah, as above.
 
WrongLeg said:
Why do horsey people feel compelled to tell you they know better how you should look after your horse?
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In rough order; bossy, looking to rise in the yard pecking order by being 'she who knows', jealous & imagining what they'd do if that was their horse, just insecure & want you to thank them, struggling for something to say to make friends with you, genuinely trying to help ?
WrongLeg said:
What’s the best way to deal with it?
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Listen & weigh what they say against whether they are likely to know what they're talking about. A little politeness costs nothing & you're never so old or so expert that you can't occasionally learn something.
 
The rude ones I avoid.

A person near here once stopped me when I was out riding to tell me "what my problem was" with my horses. I just replied, "Oh, I wasn't aware I had a problem." and carried on riding. She had been rude to me on a few occasions other than that so now I simply smile and continue on my way.

My horses still don't seem to think I have a problem, and that was back in 2021!!!
 
If someone comes over to me and gives me some advice I didn't ask for, but are genuinely well meaning and nice when doing so -

I listen to what they have to say and reply back "Thank you for your input, I'll be sure to remember it in case I need it for the future, but for now what I am doing is working good so I'll keep to that for the moment". I try and keep it as polite as possible (I detest conflict with a passion and would rather hide than confront someone) whilst also stating that I am happy with what I am currently doing. I'm a believer in you'll never know when you need help/an outside perspective, so it's best to be as polite as possible as it could bite you in the butt otherwise x

If someone comes over to me and gives me some advice I didn't ask for, but are rude when doing so -

I'll let them finish what they are saying and then reply back "Thank you but I won't be doing that" and then give a reason for it. I find it's the best way to stand your ground but avoid any conflict x If they're really rude, I tend to try and avoid them x
 
I try to keep my unsolicited advice to myself unless there is a safety reason:
young man who decided he couldn't be bothered wearing his helmet (to be fair in that case I did more than give advice, I nagged until he decided the hat was less trouble than me - I don't care that he's over 18, I've known him since he was born, he's a bright young man who is better off with his brains inside his head)
Girl who decided to do a round the world on her pony loose in the yard on stony ground (I suggested doing it in the sand school and / or having someone hold the pony)
Kids that tie ponies to open gates - never tie up to anything that moves! close the gate, problem solved
holding directly on to the head collar (a friend of mine broke his arm that way when his horse reared up) and wrapping, even loosely, lead ropes around your hand / arm (someone local died from that when her horse bolted - I now own her other horse)

So I would evaluate whether the advice comes from worry for your safety or your horse's welfare. If that's the case, maybe take on board. If it's someone just showing off or spouting nonsense, feel free to ignore. I like the "that's interesting..." approach.
 
It depends what you class as unsolicited advice.

If I’m talking about something and someone tells me what they did about the same thing and suggests some solutions even though I never asked I would never take that the wrong way. Even if I’d tried everything they said.

If I wasn’t having a conversation or even asking anyone about it and someone came up and proceeded to tell me what to do then they would get a totally different reaction.

People commenting on my riding gets a blank stare unless it’s a lesson or clinic and it’s the instructor making suggestions. It normally makes them very uncomfortable when you just look at them blankly and don’t say anything. I normally ride off or walk off mid speech as well. Usually gets the point across 👌🏻
 
WrongLeg said:
Why do horsey people feel compelled to tell you they know better how you should look after your horse?

What’s the best way to deal with it?
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Providing it's not a welfare or safety thing then I just smile politely, sometimes make a joke back & continue doing your own thing. And then wear headphones 99.9% of the time 🤣

I do consider if there's any truth in it or if it's likely to help but most of the time I just smile and ignore it.

Just this week a new-ish livery commented about riding in the rain & later in the week about riding a bit muddy pony. I just laughed and ignored the first comment but for the second I responded as I rode by laughing and said 'Thanks but I'll take a fit, happy but slightly grubby horse over an immaculate fat horse'.

I mean, I'd never go out of their way to tell them their horse is fat but if they want to fire shots ...
 
Titchy Pony said:
I try to keep my unsolicited advice to myself unless there is a safety reason:
young man who decided he couldn't be bothered wearing his helmet (to be fair in that case I did more than give advice, I nagged until he decided the hat was less trouble than me - I don't care that he's over 18, I've known him since he was born, he's a bright young man who is better off with his brains inside his head)
Girl who decided to do a round the world on her pony loose in the yard on stony ground (I suggested doing it in the sand school and / or having someone hold the pony)
Kids that tie ponies to open gates - never tie up to anything that moves! close the gate, problem solved
holding directly on to the head collar (a friend of mine broke his arm that way when his horse reared up) and wrapping, even loosely, lead ropes around your hand / arm (someone local died from that when her horse bolted - I now own her other horse)

So I would evaluate whether the advice comes from worry for your safety or your horse's welfare. If that's the case, maybe take on board. If it's someone just showing off or spouting nonsense, feel free to ignore. I like the "that's interesting..." approach.
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I think I have tried to prevent these kind of accidents - but I never say, “I think you should…”.
…I say something like, I was once on a yard where someone had a really bad accident from tying a pony to a gate…”
I provide the info, as a statement of fact, and back off.
or…send a photo of a hoof, say it smells like thrush”…I have some spare Zinc Sulphate if you want it?
Rather than lecturing them on how they should care for their horse’s hooves - they can Google/ consult the Pony Club Manual if they don’t know.
It’s someone else’s business what they do with the info.
 
Unsolicited Advice
-Person A
- Pony looking “poor” in March - not just..you should rug and feed her…”you should be reported for not feeding her hay” (turned out in woodland, so always trees/ heather/ something to browse on/ stomach never empty).
Person B
- Pony looking fat in October (“because you feed her” (two handfuls of feed with Magnesium, Lime (CaP, trace minerals & brewer’s yeast)
(that’s true because I moved her away from the acorns to fresh grass).
(She gets 85g of feed (1 bag lasts 8 months, that’s 2MJ > 2% of 400kg ponies’ Recommended Daily Allowance, 50MJ)
- You should cut her feed (two handfuls with minerals) & “I am going to move the fence to give her more grass” (rather than leave the fence & give Ad Lib straw & hay)
- You don’t need to feed natives (fenced on 20 x 40m) minerals - (Magensium & Lime & Trace) “because they get everything they need from the grass” (we are in an Iron Rich/ Acid Soils/ deficient in Zinc, Copper & Selenium).
- Your grass is too rich because you put. cows on it (we are a beef farm! - and the cows have eaten it down before the pony is turned out).

!! it’s my pony, it’s our family farm…
 
Related to the neurodivergence thread, if I am doing something a certain way I will have solid researched reasons for doing it. So one way to stop unsolicited advice is to immediately launch into an extended explanation with references then people don't want to talk to you about it anymore or ever again 😂

I am the unelected yard safety officer unfortunately (yard full of teens!!) so I do give out my fair share of unsolicited advice. I'm usually right tho so when people stop doing dumb shit I will stop being annoying about it.
 
It would depend on the advice, who was giving it and whether I think it's useful to know or not. I've had people suggest things that have helped and others that are talking bull. I wouldn't be rude, (unless someone really wasn't taking the hint!) I'd just say 'I'll bear it in mind, thank you' and carry on how I was before/maybe have a think about their suggestion.
 
I often take my horse for a walk in hand and he sometimes wears his saddle incase I decide to hop on and do a bit of trotting. There's a local guy I sometimes meet who says,if I'm leading," you should be riding that horse". So far I've been polite but it's starting to get me down and I'm on the point of exploding and telling them him to f naff off.
 
Sanversera said:
I often take my horse for a walk in hand and he sometimes wears his saddle incase I decide to hop on and do a bit of trotting. There's a local guy I sometimes meet who says,if I'm leading," you should be riding that horse". So far I've been polite but it's starting to get me down and I'm on the point of exploding and telling them him to f naff off.
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I think that's cheeky banter more on a par with wolf whistles etc. There's always a joker who knows everything and thinks they're funny.
 
Sanversera said:
I often take my horse for a walk in hand and he sometimes wears his saddle incase I decide to hop on and do a bit of trotting. There's a local guy I sometimes meet who says,if I'm leading," you should be riding that horse". So far I've been polite but it's starting to get me down and I'm on the point of exploding and telling them him to f naff off.
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Deadpan "what do you mean, this is my dog?"

I get the same, but luckily I don't see the same people a lot so its not the EXACT SAME.
 
smolmaus said:
Deadpan "what do you mean, this is my dog?"

I get the same, but luckily I don't see the same people a lot so its not the EXACT SAME.
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I was going to suggest looking around blankly and asking "what horse?". Possibly with a theatrical "argh! Where did you come from? What happened to my dog" when you look round at it.
 
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